The Delegates
by Rosey1118
Summary: Four students are brought together by Professor McGonagall's new program, two with a grudge years in the making. But with both heavily effected by the recent battle, will the grudge hold? Originally on Quotev All rights belong to J.K. Rowling Rated T for mild swearing and a bit of violence near the end and just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione had been staying with the Weasley's most of the time. Every now and then she would return to her own home, but she couldn't stand seeing it without her parents. She was looking for her parents as well, apparating to Australia for a week at a time to try and follow their footsteps, but despite the extended summer Hermione hadn't had any luck. She missed them desperately, though she knew that she had to believe that she'd find them eventually. She had to keep the idea in her head that she'd be able to return their memories and that she would be yelled at for taking them away in the first place. She could handle being yelled at if it was her parents who were doing it.

The Weasley house was a very somber place to be; it definitely wasn't giving her hope for finding her parents. She knew it was because Fred had died and everyone, including her, was taking the death hard, but it freaked her out to see how much it had changed the family. Ron wasn't himself and she had a feeling that he wouldn't be for a while, though at least he had agreed to repeat, or rather do for the first time, the last year at Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall, the new headmistress, thought it would be a good idea for everyone to get a proper year, so she'd invited them all back. Hermione had been the first of her friends to say yes; Ron had actually been next. Harry was more apprehensive about it because he was taking his responsibility as Teddy Lupin's godfather very serious. Half of the time he was with Andromdea Tonks instead of with the Weasleys, though she knew that Mrs. Weasley was proud of him.

Hermione was proud of him too, but she was still having trouble with the aftermath of the battle so expressing her pride wasn't the easiest thing to do. She never thought that, out of her friends, she'd be the one to fall apart after the battle. She'd thought that it would be Harry, because of his long history with bad events, or Ron because he never really took dangerous things the best. But Hermione knew that's she'd always been a rather constant person; she'd always been calmer in dangerous situations. She'd always been better with coping than Ron and Harry. But the battle had changed that about her; she wasn't handling it well. She had nightmares almost every night of spells flying around her and of people falling dead. On occasion she'd be surrounded by the people who had died and they would shout blame at her for their deaths. She would be walking around and suddenly be back in the battle, something that terrified her. She'd even started to avoid using magic despite being seventeen; she didn't want to feel the wand in her hands anymore because she didn't want to think about casting all the spells she'd cast during the fight. These were all problems that she knew she'd have to get over if she wanted to have a successful year at Hogwarts; she was working on her problems.

It was going to be an odd year, she realized, for multiple reasons. The first being that there would be double the amount of first years, which was very unusual. Then there was the fact that almost everyone in the castle would know someone who had been killed during the battle, so she had a feeling that the castle was going to be quite somber as well. Then there was the fact that it would look different, because Hermione was sure half of the castle had to be rebuilt. Then there was a new program that Professor McGonagall had started. The Delegates. Hermione was very confused when she received her letter because of that part of the system. The Delegates were a group of four people, one from each house. Hermione still didn't know who the others were, but she was the one from Gryffindor. They would have their own private living quarters and a shared common room where they could discuss issues among the houses. Professor McGonagall was convinced that they could figure out ways to make each house feel that it was important, something she thought had lead to some turning against Hogwarts during the battle. Hermione wasn't exactly thrilled about the position; she'd been expecting to spend most of her time with Harry and Ron to try and bring their friendship a little closer once more, but she hadn't wanted to turn it down. She was convinced that it would make her parents proud, if she ever found them, to know that their daughter was trying to help people in her school.

She was slightly excited about getting her own room though; in all her years at Hogwarts she'd shared with Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and a few other girls. But now that Lavender was dead and Parvati had lost her best friend, Hermione knew that the dormitory would be a terrible place to be. She couldn't handle Parvati's sadness, she realized, and while that made her feel awful she didn't think there was anything she could do about it. Having her own room and common room to go to would make it easier to ignore the faces missing from Gryffindor. She didn't want to think about all of the death that had occured; going back to the castle was freaking her out enough as it was without having that added in.

If being worried about being reminded of all of the death that had occured wasn't enough, Hermione was afraid of people finding out about the scar on her arm. Despite trying multiple times to remove the scar, it wouldn't go away. Hermione had come to the conclusion that the blade Bellatrix Lestrange had used to carve the word into her was cursed so the scar would be there forever. She knew that people would be curious about the word if they saw it and she'd be questioned about what had happened. Going into the torture she'd received at Malfoy Manor was not something she wanted to do either. Thinking about the torture would make her start to have nightmares about that as well, which would only make her feel worse.

She wished that she could talk to someone about what was going on with her head, but she didn't know who to turn to. Normally Harry or Ron would have been her first choice, but with Harry worried about being a good example for Teddy and Ron still struggling with Fred's death, they were out. Her parents were impossible to talk to, so that wouldn't happen either. Hermione would have felt guilty talking to anyone in the Weasley family, for she thought that their problems were bigger than her own. If she'd had even one other close friend she would have gone straight to them, but there was no one. There was no one to help her make sense of the mess that her head had become.

It was only a night before they went back though. Hermione was with the Weasley's once more, as Mrs. Weasley had insisted that she stay for the last night at home before the school year. Hermione had wanted to go back to her own home and sleep in her own bed one last time, but she thought that rejecting the offer would have been rude. She didn't sleep very well while at the Weasley's though, because she was afraid to wake up screaming from her nightmares. She didn't want to wake Ginny, whose room she was sleeping in, or anyone else because then they'd be able to tell that she wasn't keeping it together like they expected her to. She couldn't let others know that she wasn't always on top of everything; being on top of everything was something she prided herself on. So it was with a sigh that Hermione had nodded, knowing that she would have to wake early the next morning after only getting an hour or two of sleep. She wasn't looking forward to morning.

But at least, she thought, they would be going back to Hogwarts. She would be getting a private room that she would enchant so her screams couldn't be heard at night, and then she might be able to get anther hour or two of sleep. Three or four solid hours of rest sounded like a good idea to her at the time, so she would do anything for it. Even if that meant going back to the castle when she wasn't sure if she could handle it.

It was around eight the morning of September first that Hermione had been shaken awake by Ginny, whose eyes were a mixture of excitement and despair. It was an odd combination on the girl that Hermione wasn't the biggest fan of, though she didn't say anything about it. She just got up and pulled on a fresh outfit, her eyelids heavy and attempting to drop back into place. "Harry will be meeting us at the platform," Ginny said quietly as the two girls exited the room. "I haven't seen him in so long, it feels like, so getting to sit and talk with him on the train will be nice,"

"I imagine so," Hermione said, nodding slightly. She was happy for Ginny and Harry, really; they were together once more and having Harry helped Ginny to cope with Fred's death. They were a loving couple when together, which Hermione was jealous of. She'd technically been dating Ron for a few months, though their relationship was nothing like Harry and Ginny's. Ron wouldn't talk to her about anything serious and he would snap at her for trying to talk about a book or about school. The last kiss they'd had was back during the battle; he hadn't wanted much to do with her after that. Not even when he'd found her crying outside his house. He'd just told her to pull herself together and go inside because supper was about to start.

"It will be nice for you to get to spend a lot of time with Ron on the train, right?" Ginny asked.

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what to say. She didn't want to spend much more time with Ron because she was sure that they wouldn't end up together, but this was his little sister she was talking to. Hermione couldn't give it away that she'd fallen out of love, if she could even say that she had fallen into it, with Ronald Weasley. It was a selfish reason, she knew, because she wanted the Weasleys to like her the way they liked Harry; she wanted them to be like her family in case she couldn't find her own. "I imagine that it will be quite nice," she mumbled.

Of course Ginny didn't notice how unhappy Hermione was in her relationship though; she was too focused on Fred and Harry to realize what was going on with Hermione. Hermione could accept that though, because she knew that Ginny was stuck in a place of happiness and despair; Ginny was focused on getting out of that place. She could understand Ginny not noticing her problems then. "Mum's still upset about us all going back,"

"I'm not surprised by that," Hermione said, pleased that the conversation was switching away from her and Ron. "If I was in her place I wouldn't want my children going back either,"

Ginny glanced at her and shrugged. "It's an education though; we need that,"

"Now you sound like me," Hermione said, hoping to hear her friend laugh. That didn't happen though; Ginny just nodded.

"Yeah, well, I guess that's not too bad," Ginny said, sitting down at the kitchen table. Hermione sat down next to her, picking up a piece of toast that Mrs. Weasley had made. It was nice of her to make them breakfast, though she was surprised that Mrs. Weasley wasn't int he kitchen with them. Usually she would have been bustling around, trying to make sure that everyone had everything ready to go for school. Hermione had a feeling that she was busy pleading with Ron not to go back, as that was most of what Mrs. Weasley talked to Ron about these days. She knew that she couldn't convince Ginny to stay home, but Ginny had always been more stubborn than Ron.

After a few moments more joined them at the table, and Hermione saw Ron sitting across from her. He didn't even acknowledge her presece; he just sat down and began eating. The kitchen table was silent for a few minutes, and it was with a sigh that Hermione stood and walked back to Ginny's room. She had to finish packing for school; she couldn't wait to get on the train. Hermione was determined to have a good year and get over her nightmares and the flashbacks of the battle.


	2. Chapter 2

He had decided to go back to Hogwarts, yes, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it. The only reason he was going back was to get away from his parents; he couldn't handle living in a house with them any longer. Half of the time they were apologizing for getting him involved with Voldemort; the other half they were complaining because he hadn't come to them quick enough in the battle. He hadn't even wanted to go join them; he hadn't wanted to go to Voldemort's side. But he knew that he wouldn't have a place with anyone from Hogwarts, so he hadn't had much of a choice.

He wasn't thrilled about anything to do with Hogwarts though. Draco was only going back, he knew, so he could finish schooling and then get a career. He wouldn't make any attachments to anyone new; making friends had not led him to anywhere good. Vincent, Gregory, Pansy, and Blaise had always been more in to the whole Death Eater thing than he had been himself, and he didn't want to get into another bad friendship. At least Blaise, Pansy, and Gregory weren't coming back to Hogwarts with him; he could avoid them because of that. He didn't have to avoid Vincent though; he'd died in the battle. Draco no longer had to worry about him, and he didn't like to admit how thankful he was for that. This year was going to be different though; he wouldn't allow himself any friends so he could focus on school. It felt like a good solution to his problem.

His only issue was the silly program that McGonagall had started up. The Delegates, she called it; representatives from each house who would do things Draco wasn't interested in. He had no idea why the old witch had picked him as Slytherin's representative, maybe because he was one of the only seventh years to be returning to Slytherin house? Draco didn't know; he didn't really care either. The only part about the whole delegate thing he was excited about was the fact that he would get his own room. He'd always hated having to share a room with other people; he'd never gotten used to it. Having his own room would help him too, because it would allow him to avoid others.

Draco wasn't happy about being on the platform to the train again, and he ignored his parents as they tried to tell him to behave. They didn't have the right to tell him that; they'd never behaved while at school. They'd gotten involved in the Dark Arts and that was the reason Draco had gotten dragged into it. He wished, sometimes, that his parents had never met so he never would have been born; that way he couldn't have hurt anyone. It was a silly thing to wish though; he knew it would never come true.

The dirty looks he got felt unnatural to him; usually he was the one giving people those kinds of looks; not the other way around. He knew it was because he wasn't dead or in Azkaban though; most people wanted all Death Eaters to be in one of those places. He ignored them to the best of his ability, allowing his mother to give him a small hug before he boarded the train. He would be sitting by himself this year; he didn't want to sit by anyone else. Besides, Draco thought that if he did sit with someone else, they'd tell him how guilty he should be and how horrible of a person he should be; he already felt guilty and he already knew he was a bad person.

He was lucky though; no one tried to sit by him as the train became full. He was happy to see students walk past his compartment without even trying to go in. Draco settled into his seat with one of the textbooks he'd bought, as he didn't have anything else to do. He didn't have anyone to talk to like he did in the past years, which meant no silly conversations on how he would finally beat Potter in quidditch or how they would all find some way to humiliate Granger, Weasley, Potter, or any of the Hufflepuffs. Draco and Pansy had always been the ones keen on humiliating Granger; Pansy didn't like her because Granger never reacted the way Pansy wanted her to. Draco had gotten sick of her beating him on every assignment or test; that had been his reason.

The textbook was not an interesting read, in Draco's opinion, but it lasted him the entire train ride. He didn't really mind spending the trip with a book; it kept his mind away from his guilt over everything that had happened. It made him happy not to have to think about it for once; usually it would be on his mind all the time. He was hoping that his thoughts would begin to shift back to normal things during the school year, because he would have other things to worry about. He would have assignments to do and spells to perfect and whatever this Delegate business had him doing. He wouldn't spend too much time worrying about that last part, because he didn't really care about it too much.

He ended up in a carriage with two Ravenclaws who treated him as if he were invisible. Again Draco didn't mind; being ignored was a good thing. It was better than the dirty looks, anyway, so he didn't say anything. He just sat in the seat by the door stiffly, waiting for the moment when the carriage stopped and he could jump out. He could have done without the Welcoming Feast this year, though he didn't have much of a choice. He was supposed to find McGonagall after the feast so she could show him and the other delegates to their new quarters. In all honesty he didn't know who the others were, he just knew that there was going to be one from each house. All he could hope for was that it wasn't Weasley or Potter from Gryffindor. He didn't really want it to be Granger either, but at least she would be better than her two best friends.

The Great Hall was decorated beautifully; banners for each of the houses were hanging on the walls and the night sky, or rather a replica of it, was clear. The stars were shining brightly and twinkling, something Draco normally wouldn't have noticed that but it caught his eye that night. He ignored the other students, as he planned, and sat down at the far end of the Slytherin table, as far away from the teacher's table as he could get. He had a feeling they wouldn't be happy with him after everything that had happened, so if he could avoid them as much as possible that would be nice. It would be hard though, because he would be in many of their classes.

Once the hall had filled up, the first years marched in. Draco couldn't believe how small they looked to him; he felt too old to be in the castle. It was technically his eighth year; he felt huge compared to the eleven year olds. He watched the sorting, mildly interested, though he noticed that not many looked happy to be sorted into Slytherin. That was something he'd bring up to McGonagall the first chance he got; not all Slytherins were bad. There were some that were good people; Slytherin house only got a bad reputation because most of the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself had come from it. Draco knew that he was one of the Death Eaters though; he was not one of the good people. Which was unfortunate, for him at least.

Draco didn't eat much, as the angry stares he could feel on the back of his head made his appetite disappear. Mostly he just picked at some potatoes, which he didn't want in the first place. It was just the closest thing to him and he knew that others wouldn't pass him anything. Even the other Slytherins were glaring at him and Draco had been half sure that they might at least be willing to tolerate him. He chose not to care too much about that though, because of his promise not to make any friends during the year.

He knew how odd it was not to hear Dumbledore's few odd remarks before the end of the feast, though he assumed that whatever McGonagall had to say would be better than what Snape said last year. But not even having Snape as a professor would be odd as well. He'd grown used to being the man's favorite; he'd grown used to having at least one professor that didn't think that Granger and Potter were two of the best people in the world. He wished that he'd appreciated Snape more when he was alive; the man had cared for him, probably more than anyone else had in his life. He may be smart, but he obviously wasn't smart enough to notice that part.

"Welcome," Professor McGonagall said, standing up at the center of the staff table and offering the hall a small smile. "Welcome to our new first years and to everyone else, welcome back," So far she sounded like Dumbledore had, though he had a feeling she would be a bit more focused on the important things than he was. "I understand that returning to the castle will be hard for some of you-" He tuned her out for a moment, scanning the faces in the hall. Most looked calm and prepared to face the year stoically, though his eyes quickly became stuck on Granger. He tried to tear his gaze away, but he couldn't help but notice that she looked pale and even sickly; he wasn't sure why that was. Draco could only hope that he didn't care. "A new program has been started, to promote house unity and the discourage the belief that certain houses are better than others. The delegates," she said proudly, her face determined as she gazed around the hall. "One person from each house has been selected; not only will they speak with each other about problems between the houses, they will also listen to any complaints that you have. I'm sure you can all imagine the reasons behind this new program," He could have sworn that her eyes had flickered to him for a moment, and Draco glanced down at his left arm, thinking of the mark that lay hidden under his school robes. "Now if the four could please stand, so every student knows who to go to,"

Draco hesitated for a moment, watching Terry Boot and Hannah Abbott rise proudly from the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. There was happy applause for them, for it was known that they had both fought in the battle and saved many. Draco didn't know why but his eyes flickered to Granger again; she was rubbing her face with her hands and standing up as well. There were much louder cheers when she stood up; Boot and Abbott may have been in the battle, but every person in the hall considered Granger to be a hero. They thought of Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom the same way. He should have realized that Granger would be Gryffindor's delegate; she was their best student. It was with a sigh that he stood as well.

Silence rushed through the hall; Draco wasn't sure he'd ever experienced something more awkward. "Him?" he heard people ask. "McGonagall picked him?" At the same time, "McGonagall must have lost it," could be heard as well. It was the best he could have hoped for; at least no one had-He heard clapping. Soft clapping that he didn't even know could be used when it was directed at him. Draco scanned the hall once more, looking for the source, and he nearly lost his composure when he saw that it was her. Granger was clapping for him and nodding at him slightly. He could see Weasley pulling on her arm to get her to stop, though she was glaring at him and trying to get her arm out of his grip. Draco caught her eye, feeling odd as he did so, and gave her a small nod in return. He sat down a second later and stared at the table. McGonagall had more to say though he once again didn't listen to her; he didn't find it necessary. At the end of the feast, when the prefects were showing students to their dormitories and the head boy and girl were hurrying up to talk to the professors, Draco found himself walking toward McGonagall along with Boot, Abbott, and Granger.

He listened without interest as McGonagall led them to a previously unused part of the castle; he didn't mind trailing behind the rest of the group. He was still trying to figure out exactly what had changed when it came to Granger; in the past she never would have even thought of clapping for him. They entered a decent sized room which McGonagall stated would be their shared common room, though Draco didn't feel he'd be spending much time in there. Most of his free time would be spent in his own room, the bathroom, or the library. There were four doors on the wall of the circular common room though, each with a name written on it. Boot's room was directly across from the door out to the corridor. To the left of his was Abbott's room; to the left of hers was Granger's, and his own was to the left of Granger's room. The doors were even painted the colors of their houses, as if McGonagall thought they would forget who's was who's despite the names on the doors.

McGonagall left them a few moments later, leaving the four standing in the common room awkwardly. It wasn't as if they were the best of friends, though if Draco were to guess he would have Boot, Abbott, and Granger all becoming closer while he just minded his own business. "So," Abbott said quietly, trying to break the ice. "Did you all have a good summer?"

"Mine wasn't too bad," Boot said, answering her quickly. "It was a lot better without the threat of Voldemort over my head. I'm sure you can understand what that's like, can't you Hermione?"

Draco turned his eyes to her once more, only to see her looking confused. He'd never really seen that expression on her before and he wasn't sure if he liked it either. "Oh, I-I suppose," she said, nodding. Granger glanced at him and he noticed that her eyes were slightly red. It was curiosity that drove him to wonder why that was, though he knew he would never ask her. "And yours, D-Malfoy?" she asked. He noted her slip up; she'd almost started to say his name, but he wouldn't make a big deal of it.

"And my what?" he asked coldly, for some reason wishing that he could be a bit nicer to her.

Boot rolled his eyes. "This is useless," he muttered. "You're not going to get anywhere with him, Hermione; you might as well give up," Granger's eyes narrowed slightly as Boot pulled Abbott over to the sofas in the middle of the room.

"Your summer, Malfoy; was your summer good?" she asked, her voice oddly tired.

"And you care because?"

"I-I was just trying to be polite-"

"Like you were with the clapping back there?" he asked, glaring at her. "Well I don't need you to be polite to me Granger; just because we're both in this stupid group doesn't mean we have to get along,"

"Well fine then," she said, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at him. "I wasn't doing it to please myself; my parents-" She stopped suddenly, for a reason unknown to Draco, and turned her attention to Boot and Abbott. "I'm going to bed; I'll see you in the morning, Terry, Hannah," she said, giving them both a wave. The two nodded and waved back and Granger hurried into her room, shutting the door firmly behind her. Boot and Abbott paid him no attention so he went to his own room and shut the door behind him with a sigh. He locked it quickly before walking over to the window and glaring at the Forbidden Forest. He hoped that Granger would go back to ignoring and hating him; it would make the year a lot easier.


	3. Chapter 3

"Muffliato," Hermione whispered repeatedly, attempting to make sure no one could hear into her room. She knew that she would have another nightmare and end up screaming, but she didn't want anyone else to know about what was going on with her. Yes she would have told Harry or Ron if they'd bothered to even notice that something was wrong with her, but they hadn't. She wasn't sure if anyone besides her parents would really care, so she didn't want anyone to know. "Since when does being polite mean that I want to get along with someone? It's just being polite," she muttered, glancing around the room to find her trunk sitting near the foot of the bed.

She walked over, pulling out her pajamas and changing into them. It was still early; if she'd still been sleeping in the Gryffindor towers she would be talking to Harry, Ron, and Ginny but thankfully she wasn't. Hermione was glad to just be able to crawl into bed after starting a fire in the fireplace in her room. She knew that it would only be another hour or two before she was up again, but even an hour or two of sleep sounded nice. The nightmares that plagued her made it impossible to get more than that and besides, one nightmare a night was all she could handle.

Hermione sighed and fell on to her bed, curling up beneath her blanket. She wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to close her eyes because she knew what horrors would be waiting for her, but she knew that not getting any sleep would cause a large problem. So she did close her eyes, allowing her exhaustion to overtake her as she drifted off.

She didn't know exactly how long she was asleep before she was back in the battle, her heart racing as she threw spell after spell over her shoulder. What she knew was that eventually she did wake, screaming as she cluthed her heart and sat up in bed, the screaming finally subsiding. Hermione groaned and stood up, rubbing her eyes. She knew that she wouldn't sleep anymore so she pulled a book out of the trunk and walked out to the common room. It was empty; the clock on the wall telling her that it was only half-past midnight. She hoped that the book would take her six hours to read, though she doubted that it would. Hermione had always read fast and even though she was sure her brain was going slower than normal, she still read at about the same rate

Hermione went back to her room and pulled the blanket off her bed before going back to the common room and sitting on the sofa, pulling the blanket on top of her. She opened the book with a small sigh, something that she didn't do often. She loved to read; she'd never been upset about reading. Now all she wanted was to go to sleep though, so at least she could understand why she was a little unhappy to be reading. Hermione lost herself in the novel rather quickly, as she always did. She may not have been happy to be up and reading in the first place, but books always made her feel better. They definitely didn't make her less tired, but they did make her forget about the battle for a short period of time.

Hours passed and Hermione felt exhaustion hit her again, though she managed to keep her eyes open. She was nearing the end of the novel and it was only a little after five in the morning, but she planned on getting ready for the day when she'd finished. The novel was good, she decided as she closed it, though the end had been a bit predictable. She often found that she had that problem, though reading was still her favorite thing to do. She closed the book and stood up, yawning as she brought her belongings back into her room. She put the book on top of a desk in the room and went back to her trunk, searching for a towel and clean robes. She found them and hurried back out to the common room, disappearing to the bathroom next to Terry's room. The four of them were supposed to share it, though Hermione was sure no one would be up at five thirty in the morning to shower, so she'd have the room to herself. She sighed and hung her towel on the hook before climbing in and making sure the water was as cold as possible. Hermione was sure that having the water cold would wake her up more.

She found herself just standing under the water for a long while, letting it wash over her and soak her hair. She'd never been a huge fan of cold showers but it was working; she was beginning to feel more awake. It took her awhile to convince herself that she was prepared to climb out of the shower, though once she did she dried herself off and got changed into her clean robes. With a sigh, Hermione walked back out through the common room to get to her room. She set the towel out to dry, grabbed her wand from her beside table, and dried her hair with a quick spell. It was bushy and a bit crazy, but she decided to just leave it alone. It's not like Ron would take notice of her appearance anyway, so it didn't really matter.

"Granger," a cold voice said as she walked back into the common room.

Hermione sighed and glanced at Malfoy; she almost wanted to laugh at what she saw. His hair was a complete mess; she'd only ever seen it slicked back and perfectly in place. Messy hair suited him though; it made him seem more human. "Malfoy," she said, nodding in his direction. "You're up early,"

"I could say the same to you,"

"I suppose you could," she said, sighing softly. Being out of the cold water once again meant that she was becoming tired once more. She had an entire school day to get through and she wasn't sure how she was going to manage it. "Have a good day then,"

"I'll try," he muttered, walking toward the bathroom. Hermione rolled her eyes and walked out of the common room, wondering if Harry and Ron were awake yet. She was hoping things could partially return to normal now that they were back at Hogwarts, though she was worried that wouldn't happen. She hurried toward the Great Hall and walked in, but it was too early for any of her friends to be up yet. She should have expected it; they usually woke up late.

The Gryffindor table had four other students sitting at it, though Hermione sat away from all of them and laid her head against the wood. She hated the Great Hall at the moment; it was where they'd placed the dead and injured during the battle. It was where she had tried desperately to help heal some, but had failed. "Hermione? Are you all right?" a quiet voice asked.

Hermione raised her head off the table to see Luna standing in front of her, rocking back and forward on her heels. Her cork necklace could be seen laying on top of her tie and her Drigible plum earrings were hanging from her ears once more. Hermione hadn't seen her the entire summer, despite spending most of her time at the Weasley's which was actually quite close to Luna's home. "Luna," Hermione said, offering the other girl a small smile. "Yes, I'm fine; just tired is all," It was a rather large lie, though Hermione had the feeling if she told Luna then Luna would tell Neville, who would tell Ginny, who would tell Harry and Ron. She wasn't ready for everyone to find out her problems.

"I can tell," Luna said, smiling slightly. "You've got quite the bags under your eyes, did you know?"

Hermione nodded slightly, brushing the skin under her eyes with her fingers. "Yes, I'm aware,"

"I think I'm going to go sit at the Ravenclaw table now," Luna said, turning her back on Hermione and skipping away. Hermione smiled; she'd never get used to Luna's odd behavior, but she was a great person and an even better friend.

She pulled some food onto her plate, slowly eating breakfast and hoping that her friends would come in soon. Eating by herself was not something she enjoyed; there was no conversation she could latch on to that would prevent her mind from focusing on the battle once again. It seemed to be all she thought about these days and Hermione couldn't stand that.

After a few more minutes of quiet, Hermione heard the doors to the Great Hall open once more. She looked up, relieved to see Harry walking in to the hall. He looked around warily but smiled when he saw her. She hadn't spent much time around Harry either, since he was so busy trying to help Andromeda Tonks with Teddy Lupin and she'd spent quite a bit of time searching for her parents. "Hey Hermione," he greeted, sitting down across from her at the table.

"Harry," she said, breathing a sigh of relief. Harry wouldn't make her think of the battle; he would understand that she didn't want to think about it. "I'm glad you're awake; it's gotten rather boring sitting her by myself,"

He laughed and smiled at her. Obviously he was coping with everything a lot better than she was, though Hermione was happy for him. "I bet you'll be happy in a few minutes then; Ron was just starting to wake up when I left the dormitory. He should be down soon,"

"Oh, right," Hermione said, nodding slightly. She wasn't thrilled to see Ron, as he seemed to be sick of her, though she would act like she was to make sure they were okay. "That's good," Harry nodded, oblivious to her discomfort over the situation. He'd never been one to pick up on suttle things like that. "How are Teddy and Andromeda? I know you were with them the last week of summer,"

"They're okay," he said. "Andromeda's still upset about Ted, Tonks, and Remus dying, though she's quite good with Teddy. And Teddy doesn't really understand much of anything right now, but he's quite adorable,"

"That's good," Hermione smiled. "I've always liked children; they're innocent and they don't understand evil,"

"True," Harry said, nodding as he picked up a piece of bacon and chewed on it thoughtfully. "I think he likes his blue hair though; every now and then it changes but he usually puts it back after a few minutes,"

Hermione chuckled and nodded. "That reminds me of Tonks; she always liked her hair pink or purple,"

"That's what I thought," Harry said, continuing to eat his breakfast. After a while Ron came in and sat down next to Harry.

"Morning," he said, pulling sausage onto his plate. Harry nodded at him but Hermione sighed and looked at the table. She knew that Ginny wouldn't be far behind and then Harry would do something romantic to tell her good morning, as he had done each morning when he'd been at the Weasley's. Ron had barely even acknowledged her presence; it was about as romantic as he got. Hermione didn't want a lot, though a kiss on the cheek every now and then, holding hands, something to show her that he cared would have been nice.

"Did you two sleep well?" Hermione asked, trying to make a conversation.

"I slept fine," Ron muttered, and Harry nodded in agreement.

"That's good," Hermione said, offering them both smiles. Harry returned it but Ron just continued eating. "And how was the common room?" she asked curiously. "It's odd for me not to be in there anymore,"

"It was quiet," Ron said, glancing at her. "You know, without your constant chatter that is,"

Hermione stared at him, noticing that Harry had just continued to eat his breakfast. It was like he didn't even care about what Ron had said. She kenw it wasn't too bad, but she still felt offended. "Right," she mumbled. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not going to be there, right Ron?" she asked. He shrugged and didn't respond, which made Hermione sigh and roll her eyes. "I'm just going to get my schedule and meet you two in class, okay?"

"Okay," Harry said, waving at her. Ron didn't respond yet again.


	4. Chapter 4

Draco hadn't expected to see Granger up at six o'clock in the morning. He'd thought it was early enough that he wouldn't have to see any of the other delegates and since his plan was to avoid them as much as possible, he was frustrated at seeing the Gryffindor up so early. He'd have to try to wake up earlier the next day to avoid her. Draco was sure that would work; it wasn't like Granger was up at the crack of dawn each day. Her being up early was probably just a mistake; she was probably just excited to start school. He wouldn't put that past Granger.

He was out of the shower in five minutes; his showers never last long. He found it unnecessary to spend a lot of time in a shower; he could use that time for something else. He got dressed quickly in his Slytherin robes, feeling proud to wear them. He knew that everyone thought Slytherins were evil and that they were bad people and maybe he was both of those things, but he was also ambitious. He was proud of that fact; if the only good thing he could say about himself was that he was ambitious, Draco found that to be okay. He wandered down to the Great Hall in time to see Granger walking out, looking defeated about something. He refused to stop her and ask what was wrong; she'd probably spread it around the school that he'd tried to talk to her. He was a Death Eater; he couldn't talk to a war hero from the opposite side.

The Great Hall was slowly filling up and Draco took a seat at the Slytherin table close to the doors; he wanted an easy escape route in case someone brought up his part in the war. Most ignored him though, which Draco found to be oddly nice. He was pleased that he could eat in peace and not have to listen to the reasons why he should be in Azkaban or why he should be dead. He'd been stopped at Diagon Alley and had some explain that to him; he didn't want to hear it again.

His classes weren't too bad, he decided. He had all of the classes he'd had in first year except for History of Magic, and he had Arithmancy as well. Only a few of his classes were with the Gryffindors, who he thought would hate him more than anyone else. The Hufflepuffs would most likely ignore him, as would the Ravenclaws, as long as he could stay quiet. Staying quiet was the key to this year; he felt guilty enough about everything that had happened and he couldn't say anything to make himself feel worse.

Draco ate quickly and left the hall with half an hour before classes started. He wandered the corridors with no real destination; all he wanted was to get to his first class right before it started; he could slip in with the crowd and not be noticed. If he could do that today he could do that for the rest of the year and then he would be okay. He could survive his final year at Hogwarts if he could convince everyone to ignore him. He could survive if he became invisible to the world around him. And then, once Hogwarts was done, Draco would find a career where he could make up for every bad thing he'd done. He was thinking about becoming a healer, though he wasn't sure if he'd be qualified for that. Draco would try his hardest though; he'd focus on school and he was even beginning to consider asking Granger how she managed to stay so focused on her homework. Then again that would require a polite conversation with her and he wasn't sure if he could do that.

Her blood status was no longer a huge deal to him; he'd decided to stop listening to his father so much after the battle. His father had been the one to have a problem with everyone's blood. His father had been the one to make Draco believe that if a person wasn't a pureblood, they were beneath him. Draco realized now how stupid that was now, so much of his old prejudice had disappeared over the summer. His biggest problem with Granger now was her friends. He still wasn't a huge fan of Potter and he absolutely hated Weasley, but he knew how much Granger cared about him. If it wasn't for that and the fact that she was in Gryffindor, he might have tried to talk to her. She was a smart girl, he knew, who always seemed to have an answer to everything. Draco was envious of that sometimes, though he got himself through it by remembering that one day she would find a problem she couldn't solve; one day Granger wouldn't know what to do. For some reason he wanted to see that day; he wanted to see her become a bit more human.

He must have walked through the corridor long enough, because a glance at his watch told him that he only had five minutes to get to his first class, Arithmancy, which was with members of all four houses. He had no problem with that; only very intelligent people took Arithmancy and he was sure the very intelligent ones would leave him alone. They would be too busy with school to be mad at him, he thought. Draco walked through the door to the classroom, pausing when he got inside. Most of the seats were taken; there were four empty spots left. One next to Boot, who he would never sit by if he could help it, one next to a Hufflepuff girl he wasn't familiar with, one next to MacMillan, who he also wanted to avoid, and one next to Granger. The seats next to MacMillan and Boot were out of the question; he would never sit next to them. The Hufflepuff girl would have been an option, though a girl from Ravenclaw had just walked in behind him and ran over to it. Draco was left with one choice: the seat next to Granger. He glanced around to find everyone chatting with their desk partner; so far no one had really noticed him. He walked to the seat next to her, sitting down quickly and hoping that Granger wouldn't mind. He'd have to move if she asked him to; disobeying Hogwarts' favorite girl would get him in trouble.

"Malfoy," she greeted calmly, staring at the textbook on her desk. She flipped a page, seeming to ignore his presence for a few seconds. "How was your breakfast?"

"I thought I told you not to be polite to me," he muttered, pulling his own book out of his bag.

"You did," she nodded, still not looking at him. "But that doesn't mean I have to listen to you. So, Malfoy, how was your breakfast?"

He stared at her for a moment, watching as she began to frown and look over at him. "It was fine," he said eventually. "And-And yours?"

"Lonely," she answered, returning her attention to her textbook. "Harry and Ron came down late; I was alone for most of it. The food was quite nice though,"

He nodded and looked down at the desk, wishing she wouldn't try to make friendly conversation. After everything he'd done to her, he didn't deserve it. Draco glanced at her once more, prepared to ask her why she would even bother with him, when the door to the classroom opened. "Good morning, class," Professor Vector said, making him unable to ask Granger anything. "Do you all have your books out? Good, let's begin,"

Arithmancy had never been his best subject, though he'd heard Professor Vector's lesson the last year when Hogwarts had been under Voldemort's control. He'd barely been able to follow the lesson then but he was able to partially follow it the second time. Halfway through the lesson he glanced at Granger, who looked almost as confused as she had the previous night. Granger being confused definitely did not give Draco any confidence in his ability to grasp the concepts as well as she. She'd always been smarter than him and she always would be, so if she was confused then he was sure he was doing something wrong. Draco knew that he wouldn't be able to understand something that Granger couldn't; that was impossible.

The class finished soon enough and Draco glanced at his schedule once more, seeing that he had a free period. He didn't know what to do with his free time, so he returned to the delegate's common room to begin the essay that Professor Vector had assigned. He should have expected homework from her, as she always assigned a great amount of homework and the only time she didn't was the first day of fourth year. After a few minutes of nothing but reading his textbook and the sound of his quill scratching on his parchment, the door to the common room opened. It wasn't Granger, thankfully; it was Abbott. She didn't seem to notice him sitting on the sofa as she hurried into her room, tears in her eyes. Draco didn't know why she was in tears, but he didn't care enough to ask. He didn't think he ever would. He continued to work on his essay for a few seconds before Granger came running into the room. She ignored him as well and went straight to Abbott's door, knocking loudly. "Hannah!" she called loudly. "Hannah please; I know that Bulstrode didn't actually mean to say that-"

"Yes she did!" Abbott said shrilly, her voice quite obviously shaky. "She obviously meant to say it, otherwise she wouldn't have!"

"Well even if she did mean it, she's wrong," Granger said firmly. "Just because you had a little freak out it fifth year doesn't mean you're too stupid to attend Hogwarts,"

Draco clearly remembered Abbott having a panic attack and having to go to the Hospital Wing in their fifth year; she'd been incredibly worried about her exams to the point where she had a breakdown. Everyone had been worried during fifth year though; just because Abbott had let it get to her didn't mean that she was stupid. Granger was right about that. It didn't surprise him, actually; she was right about everything in his opinion. "Hermione-"

"Hannah, please just let me in; let's talk about this," Granger pleaded, knocking on the door once more. "I know how you're feeling; please,"

Abbott's door opened a fraction of an inch and Granger pushed it open further, slipping in and shutting it firmly behind her. He stared at the door for a few seconds, wondering what on earth Granger was saying to make Abbott stop crying, but he knew he would never find out. It was just like Granger to go try and comfort someone though; he'd seen her do it multiple times during their fifth year when younger students had gotten out of detention with Umbridge. For that matter he'd seen the Weasley twins do that as well, though he never noticed them as much as he noticed Granger.

He was halfway done with the essay when his free period ended and Granger walked Abbott out of her room. Abbott was no long crying, which Draco realized was good; he'd never thought much of crying. He hated doing it himself, though every now and then he couldn't prevent it. Granger was better than him in that aspect too; she was able to comfort people in a way he'd never be able to.

Granger walked Abbott to the door before turning around and walking back to sit on the opposite end of the sofa. Draco had been in the middle of packing up his things but he'd frozen the second she sat down. Granger was sighing and running a hand through her wild hair, something Draco hadn't seen her do often. He tried not to make it too obvious that he was looking at her and he was sure that she hadn't noticed. She looked tired; he couldn't understand why that was. Sure they'd both been up early that morning, Granger earlier than him, but she still would have gotten a full night's sleep. Wouldn't she have?

"Uh, Granger?" he asked awkwardly, trying to make his muscles relax. He wasn't used to being relaxed around her, because she was usually with Potter and Weasley and he would never be able to relax around them. Granger's friends hated him more than anything else in the world; they would probably be furious if they saw him talking to her now.

"Yes?" she asked, glancing at him curiously.

He wanted to ask her multiple things: why she looked so tired, what she'd said to Abbott to make her calm down, if she actually understood what they'd learned in Arithmancy... Questions danced around his head, but he shook them away. "Never mind," he muttered, picking up his things and shoving them into his book bag. Granger sighed once more but Draco refused to look at her; he didn't want to.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione found herself walking to dinner that night, her mind feeling rather numb. She wasn't sure how she'd managed to get through the day with how tired she was, but somehow she'd done it. And now she only had to sit through dinner and do her homework and then she could go to bed. Hermione thought that she might be able to get a few more hours of sleep than normal because usually she saw at least one scene from the battle each day and so far... today she had seen none. She was hoping it would be a sign, though she knew that it wouldn't be. There had been a few days over the summer that she hadn't seen a scene and she'd still only gotten three hours of sleep.

The Gryffindor table was full of students, some looking melancholy and some laughing happily. "Coming Hermione?" Harry asked, walking up behind her and offering her a small smile. "Ron and Ginny are already there; they've been spending a lot of time together ever since-well, you know..."

"The battle," Hermione said, nodding slightly. "And Fred,"

"And Fred," Harry agreed quietly, nodding with her.

Hermione sighed; she knew that it was a good thing, Ron and Ginny spending time together, but she wished he would spend time with her. They were supposed to spend time together; they were a couple. They were supposed to be a couple, anyway. She wasn't sure what to classify her relationship with Ron anymore; couples were supposed to hold hands and kiss and talk to each other, not just occasionaly say hello or wave at one another. "They have been spending a lot of time together; that's good," she said calmly.

Harry gave her a sideways glance, his expression worried. "You don't sound normal, did you know?"

"No?" Hermione said, warmth running to her cheeks.

He didn't seem very sure of her answer, but he shrugged. "All right," he said, smiling at her again. "You're right; it is good. I'm glad they're close,"

"Me too," Hermione nodded.

Harry didn't say anything else, because they'd reached the seats where Ron and Ginny were. Harry automatically sat down by Ginny, giving her a much larger smile than the one he'd given Hermione. Hermione took her seat next to Ron, who didn't look at her. Harry and Ginny didn't notice, of course, because they were too busy talking to each other. Hermione glanced down the table, watching her classmates. Neville was talking and laughing with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan. Parvati looked the most upset; Hermione knew it was because of Lavender Brown's death.

She took a few bites of food, wishing that she could just leave the Great Hall. But she was sure that would look suspicious to her friends, so she stayed put. It wasn't a good thing to do, she soon realized, because the longer she sat there the more agitated Ron got. Harry and Ginny didn't really realize that either, not until Ron decided to speak. "Do you have to breathe so loud?" he asked angrily, throwing his fork down and glaring at her.

"What?" she asked, confused. She was breathing the same way she had been her entire life; no one had ever complained before. And his complaint was so out of the blue; Hermione was half sure he hadn't know exactly what to complain about but he just wanted to be upset with her.

"I get that you're a show-off, but there are plenty of people who should be breathing instead of you, so if you could not flaunt something for once-"

"Ron, mate, that was uncalled for," Harry said, though he didn't sound angry.

Hermione was still trying to wrap her head around his words. Instead? Did that mean that he'd rather she have died? Tears threatened to spill down her face but she blinked them back, her cheeks flushed. "So you'd prefer it if I'd have died then? Taken someone else's place?"

"Yes!" Ron exclaimed. "Finally, you get it! I'd rather have my brother than you because then I wouldn't have to watch my parents suffer!"

A hush fell over their section of the table as those closest to hear stared at Ron and Hermione. It was the cold voice of Malfoy that broke the silence. "I always knew you were a complete ass, Weasley. Anyway, Granger, I was wondering if you could help me with the Arithmancy essay?"

"Oh, um, all right," Hermione said, trying to keep her composure so she wouldn't start sobbing in front of the entire hall.

"Are you seriously going to choose Malfoy over us?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Hermione answered angrily.

"He's a bloody Death Eater; are you-"

"I really don't care what he is, Ronald," Hermione stated. "He's being a hell of a lot nicer than you right now, so I will go with him. Besides, he apparently needs my help," Hermione stood up and stormed away from her friends and the Gryffindor table. She couldn't believe that Ron would say that to her, after she was almost murdered by Bellatrix Lestrange while at Malfoy Manor, and she couldn't believe that Harry and Ginny have just sat there and listened to him speak. She knew it was stupid to think that they thought the same, yet for half a second... She stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned around to see Malfoy walking behind her. "Which part of the essay did you need help with?"

"Oh, I don't actually need help with any of it,"

Hermione stared at him, trying not to show how hurt she was by Ron's words. She still couldn't believe no one had gotten frustrated by them except for her. "Then why would you ask for my help?"

"You looked upset," he shrugged. "I thought it would be a good idea to get you away from them. It sucks, what Weasley said to you; I've heard that too,"

She wasn't sure what to make of his actions; Malfoy had never really tried to make sure she wasn't upset before and she couldn't understand what had changed, but she didn't get much time to think about it. The corridor had suddenly darkened and Hermione swore that she could hear screams and explosions all over the castle. At the end of the corridor a girl was being attacked; a girl that looked a lot like Lavender Brown. "No," Hermione whispered, her eyes widening with fear. She could barely even comprehend that Malfoy was looking at her like she was crazy, but that didn't really matter to her. "No, no it's not real," she told herself shakily, taking a few cautious steps backwards. She knew that she was just seeing things; she knew that the corridor hadn't actually darkened and that no one was being attacked at the end of the corridor, but she couldn't stop the fear that swelled in her chest.

"Granger?" Malfoy asked curiously. "Granger, what are you talking about?"

She didn't answer, she just stared at the man that was rising from Lavender's body. Her eyes met his, even though she knew he wasn't real, and a second later she was running toward the common room. She heard footsteps following her and, assuming they were the man's-it was Fenrir Greyback that had killed Lavender if she remembered correctly-Hermione began to run faster. At least until she got to the common room. The door slammed shut behind her and she ran across the empty room to her bedroom room, locking the door behind her. "It's not real," she whispered, sinking to the floor as she heard a pounding on her door. Hermione knew it was from the fake Fenrir Greyback that she'd seen, and the thought only made her heart begin to beat faster. "It's not real,"

Hermione had no recollection of closing her eyes, but as she woke with a scream she realized that she must have fallen asleep. She was still by her door in her school robes, and when she saw her clock, she realized it was only eleven at night. She'd gotten three and a half hours of sleep, yet she was still exhausted.

Hermione quickly decided to change in to her pajamas and wrap herself in her blanket on the sofa in the common room. She would do some of the essays from her classes and, if she had time, she would read another novel. Hermione knew that she would read a lot of books over the course of the school year if this was as much sleep as she was going to get. Reading always allowed her to stay awake, even if it did sometimes make her sleepy.

The common room wasn't empty when she entered it. There was blond hair visible over the top of the armchair facing the fire, which made her realize that Malfoy was still awake. She couldn't see Terry or Hannah though, so she knew that they were in their rooms. "You're still awake," she commented, walking over to the sofa and wrapping herself in the blanket and opening one of her textbooks so she could start on her essay.

Malfoy jumped visibly, turning to glare at her. "You didn't have to sneak up on me, Granger," he muttered, turning back to his own textbook. "Are you feeling less crazy now?"

"What?"

"I figure you must be crazy if you're seeing things and running away from them," he explained, his voice bored and cold. "So what was it you saw then?" Hermione stayed silent, her cheeks growing warm as he spoke. He was right; she must be crazy if she kept seeing piece of the battle. "Granger?"

"I saw Lavender Brown being murdered," she said quietly.

Malfoy's head snapped over to her, his eyes confused and curious as he looked at her. "You were back in the battle?"

"For a moment, yes,"

"Does that happen often?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," she stated, turning her page. The hallucinations that she saw were never pleasant, and if she didn't even share them with Harry and Ron then why would she tell Malfoy about them? Yes they'd exchanged a few kinder words since the beginning of the school year and it had been nice of him to- "You were looking at me during dinner; why?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.

"What?" No I wasn't-" he said, his eyes wide and his cheeks pink.

"Yes you were. If you saw me getting upset while talking to Ron then you must have been looking at me. I want to know why,"

"That-I-" Malfoy said, becoming obviously frustrated. "Granger you're-"

"Annoying? You've mentioned that in the past. And if you're thinking about calling me a mudblood, well, I know that's what you think as well," she said, rolling her eyes. She was branded with that word though; it was with her forever. "Now spit it out, Malfoy; I'm just curious,"

"I-I'll tell you if you tell me about how often you see the battle,"

Hermione frowned; he was just like her in a way. She would have tried to make the same deal. "Fine then," she said, nodding. Her curiosity of why he would be looking at her was too great to make her not tell him that she was thrown back into the battle at least once a day.

"You first, Granger,"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I do see parts of the battle often; every day actually,"

"Why did you run when you saw it today?"

"I didn't agree to answer that,"

"Well do you want my answer or not?" he challenged.

"Would you honestly want to relive the battle?" she asked quietly, hoping that he would accept that as an answer.

Malfoy nodded, looking away from her and back to his textbook. "You're the only person this year that doesn't appear to hate me and treat me like a Death Eater,"

"But why were you looking at me?"

"I just was," he shrugged. "Not everything has to have a reason behind it, Granger," Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes; Malfoy didn't need to tell her that not everything had to have a meaning, she already knew. The common room soon fell to silence besides the sounds of the fire crackling, pages turning, and Hermione's quill on a piece of parchment. Midnight soon passed and Malfoy finally stood up, leaving the common room without a word. Hermione assumed that he'd gone to bed or just felt like getting away from her. She was half sure it was the latter.


	6. Chapter 6

He didn't know why her behavior was worrying him, because he'd never cared about Granger before. He'd never cared about anyone in any other house, actually; all he'd cared about were his few friends and his father's opinion of him. His father's opinion didn't bother Draco anymore, something he was thankful for. If he still cared then he'd have to call Granger a mudblood and he was sure that wouldn't help her. Draco had seen the way Weasley had treated her at dinner and he'd seen the way Potter had just let it slide. How could he have done that, though? Potter had cared about Granger since a month into their first year; he'd protected her since then. Yet he did nothing when Weasley said something as horrible as wishing that Granger would have died in other's places. It had to be because Weasley's brother had died and everyone was trying to protect his feelings.

Draco sighed and buried his face in his pillow, trying to get to sleep. It had been an hour since he'd left Granger on the sofa in the common room and he couldn't stop thinking long enough to fall asleep. Half of his thoughts were about Granger, the other half about everything he'd done wrong. He hated thinking, sometimes; he couldn't understand how Granger could think constantly and manage to function properly each day. He knew that she was always thinking about something, based on her expression; that was common knowledge. "Shut up," he groaned, running his hands over his face. He shouldn't have to be stuck thinking about Granger of all people; she was horrible to think about. And having to see her face when his eyes were closed because he couldn't stop thinking about her expression when she started hallucinating... "Go away," he said desperately, squeezing his eyes shut in the hopes that it would help him forget about her. He would be made fun of if anyone knew he was thinking about Granger; he would be disowned if his father knew he was thinking about Granger. Then again that didn't bother him as much as it would have even a few months ago. But he'd never seen her look so terrified in months, not since she'd been at his house.

And there he went again, thinking once again about her being tortured in front of him. It was the thing from the war that he felt the most guilt over; he didn't even feel as bad for what had happened with Dumbledore and Dumbledore had actually died. With his eyes closed, Draco once again saw Granger laying on the floor with Bellatrix on top of her, her knife carving into Granger's arm. He'd been right there; he could have stopped it and yet... He'd just stood there. He'd watched Granger scream and beg for his aunt to stop and all he'd been able to do was stand and hope that, in the worst case, Bellatrix would kill her soon so she wouldn't be in anymore pain.

With a sigh, Draco climbed off his bed and went digging through his trunk, looking for one of the few sleep potions he'd stored in there. He had trouble getting to sleep every now and then, when his mind wouldn't shut down and let him go to bed. The potions helped. He drank it quickly, throwing the vial back into his trunk before going back to his bed and laying down, throwing the blanket on top of him. He was exhausted; he'd always needed eight hours of sleep a night to be able to function and at this rate he'd only get five or five and a half. It seemed terrible to him; he couldn't imagine how people could function on that little of sleep. He'd never be able to, nor would he ever want to; Draco knew that for sure.

He drifted off quickly after taking the potion, though he'd expected that. The potions always sent him to sleep after a few seconds. He was pleased, when he woke, that he couldn't remember any of his dreams; he hated remembering them. They were always odd and involved things he didn't understand, so he was glad when he couldn't recall them. He climbed out of bed and sighed as he looked at the clock; it was only six thirty in the morning. Five and a half hours of sleep; that was what he'd gotten. He knew that he'd end up falling asleep in one of his classes, the only problem was he didn't know which one. He'd probably end up with a detention, he knew, but Draco didn't worry about that too much. Detentions had never really bothered him unless they were with Potter or like the one in his first year with Potter, Granger, and Longbottom.

Shutting his bedroom door quietly behind him, Draco walked out into the shared common room, only to see Granger yawning and walking away from the bathroom, lazily drying her hair with a towel. "Morning," she said softly as she got to her door, barely paying him any attention. Granger didn't even look at him as she slipped into her room; she just shut the door behind her, the towel still on her hair. Draco stared at her door for a few seconds, wishing for some reason that he would have given her a response, but he shook his head to make that thought go away. He couldn't really interact with Granger more than he already had, because he knew people would find it odd. And he knew they wouldn't be happy with a Death Eater around one of their heroes. And that was all he was to everyone else, probably even to Granger: a Death Eater.

He got ready quickly, as usual, before heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was still early, which meant that few people would be eating at that point. That was another thing Draco was thankful for; the less he could be around other people the better. That was his opinion anyway, though he was sure it was an opinion he shared with others. Everyone else in the Great Hall was leaving him alone, so it was a good guess. He ate quickly too; doing things quickly felt right to him; Draco was half sure if he did everything quickly then the year would go faster and he'd be able to cut out everyone he knew from Hogwarts. If he didn't see them, he wouldn't be reminded of everything he had done wrong.

Potions was his first class of the day, and he was happy for that. He'd always been pretty good at brewing potions, never as good as Granger, but still good. And yes Slughorn adored Granger, but he didn't seem to hate Draco like he was sure the other professors did. He waited for a while, so he wouldn't end up in the dungeons too soon and annoy Slughorn, but when he did end up in Potions he wasn't surprised at who else he saw standing in the classroom. Granger was there, obviously, as was Potter and even Weasley. Boot was there as well, as were a few others Draco couldn't remember the names of at the moment. He no longer cared about who was in his classes, because he didn't have any friends in them.

He stood as far away from Granger, Potter, and Weasley as possible so he wouldn't have to hear anything they were saying. Weasley was glancing at him every few seconds with a glare, so Draco knew that he would have tried to say something bad if he'd stood closer. Potter wasn't looking at him at all, thankfully, but Granger was. She wasn't looking at him as often as Weasley was, but every now and then she would follow his gaze and frown, though not at him, at Weasley. She said something Draco couldn't hear and Weasley rolled his eyes, shooting Draco another glare before turning to Potter and starting up a conversation. Granger sighed and, realizing that Weasley might not talk to her again, went to stand next to a Ravenclaw girl Draco had never remembered the name of.

He was right in assuming that Potions wouldn't be too bad. Everyone ignored him during the class except for Weasley, who Draco would catch glaring at him every now and then, but Draco tried his hardest not to let that bother him. It's not like he appreciated being glared at, and it took every ounce of self control he had not to say something rude to Weasley in return. The class ended with Granger, of course, having the best potion, and earning a prize from Slughorn that Draco didn't care about. He quickly walked out of the classroom, hoping to avoid Weasley's glares, and it seemed successful at first, until a hand gripped his arm. "Get off me," he said angrily, yanking his arm out of someone's grip before even turning around to look at who it was. After the way Weasley had been looking at him during class he should have know it would be him. "Don't touch me,"

"Ron what are you doing?" Granger sighed, coming up beside them. Potter was by her and he was actually giving Draco an apologetic look, which was an expression Draco thought he'd be seeing more often on Potter's face, even if it wasn't directed at him. "I saw you looking at her," Weasley said, ignoring Granger.

"At who?" Draco asked, rolling his eyes. The only person he'd been looking at was Granger and that was only because he'd been able to feel Weasley's glare on him and Granger was beside him.

"Hermione," Weasley snarled.

"Oh, please," Granger said, frowning. "He wouldn't be looking at me, Ron, you're just seeing things,"

"Like you, right Hermione?" Weasley asked, turning some of his anger on her. Granger's cheeks went pink, clueing Draco in to the fact that Granger had gone running away from a hallucination more than once. Draco glanced at Potter to see him sighing once more, though he appeared to want to stay silent.

"So Granger's having a little trouble," Draco said angrily. "That's not something you throw in her face. After the way you've been treating her, I'm surprised she's still hanging around you. You don't deserve her, Weasley," He only said that because he knew it would hurt Weasley; that's what he forced himself to believe.

"Ron, let's go," Potter tried, grabbing Weasley's arm and attempting to pull him away.

Weasley stayed in place though, the frown on his face deepening. "And what, do you think you do?" he asked, smirking at Draco.

"I-Of course I don't-That's a stupid-" Draco said, flustered by the question. That wasn't what he was trying to say when he told Weasley he didn't deserve Granger, not at all.

"Oh look," Weasley chuckled. "He's all tongue-tied,"

"Shut up, Ron," Granger said angrily, her face still red. "This is a stupid conversation and I think we should go," She tugged on Weasley's arm along with Potter, making Weasley stumble slightly. Weasley's gaze left him and Draco let out a small sigh of relief he hoped the others wouldn't hear. Weasley turned his attention to Granger then, planting a sloppy kiss on her lips. "Don't look at my girlfriend again, Malfoy,"

"I wasn't," Draco muttered, watching shock steal Granger's face. And then she began to look furious. She didn't say a word, she just stormed away from everyone, leaving Potter looking rather confused and Weasley looking indifferent. Draco was curious though. Why would she get angry about Weasley kissing her? They were together, weren't they? It probably happened every day.

"Come on," Potter said, shaking his head slightly and gripping Weasley's arm once more. Draco was half tempted to say something rude to Weasley as he was pulled away, but he managed to keep his mouth shut. He knew that saying something would only make matters worse and that wasn't something he wanted; he didn't want to deal with Weasley or Potter. He went to his next class instead of retaliating, something that made him happy, though going to Charms was not something he was looking forward to. Professor Flitwick had never liked Draco much, though unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual. Draco had always liked the small wizard; he was a good teacher and a kind man which were all things Draco had wanted to be when he was younger. Now he just wanted to be anything but what he was: a Death Eater.

Professor Flitwick didn't really look at Draco the entire time he was in class, which was bad because the class was doubled in length. He had to sit with Flitwick for an hour and a half while the wizard did his best to ignore him. It was not particularly fun. By the time the class was over there was only half an hour until lunch, which at least meant that the school day was almost over. Then he'd be able to disappear to the Delegate's common room or his own bedroom. He knew that he should be following McGonagall's instructions and speaking with the other Delegates about how to make the houses more unified, but he didn't feel like talking to Boot, Abbott, or Granger. He could admit that discussing issues with Granger wouldn't be too terrible because she would probably have valid points, but Boot annoyed him more than anyone else besides Weasley and he'd never been a huge fan of Abbott. She wasn't terrible, she was just too different from him.

Draco walked to the common room and sighed; just the person he didn't want to see. Boot was sitting in the chair by the fire Draco was sure he'd claimed as his; he always sat there when in the common room and while it was only the second day, he was in the common room a lot. Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, noticing that there was a bag on the floor by the door. It was Grangers, he could tell, so he picked it up and brought it over to the sofa he was going to sit on. He couldn't remember if they had a Potions assignment but he knew Granger would have written it down.


	7. Chapter 7

It was the first time Ron had kissed her since the battle, and it was just to prove a point to Malfoy. Who, Hermione realized as she began to storm away, seemed upset over what Ron had said to her the other day at dinner. He'd said much worse in the past so Hermione didn't really understand why Ron's words had upset him, but she didn't let it bother her too much. "Boys," she muttered, walking to Transfiguration. Hermione was glad to have a class with Professor McGonagall; she would push them and make sure Hermione's mind was no where but on the task at hand. That would do her good; she was sure that she wouldn't be able to think about how tired she was which wouldn't help her at all.

The Transfiguration class was small; it was a hard class and many, she assumed, wouldn't want to take it because of that. Hermione knew it was odd that McGonagall was the headmistress and the Transfiguration teacher, which she assumed was because it was hard to find a new professor. She didn't really mind though, as Professor McGonagall was an excellent teacher.

Hermione realized, as she stomped into the classroom, that she'd been correct: McGonagall was going to keep them all busy. The classroom was full of items Hermione assumed would end up as something else by the end of the period. The older witch was at the front of the room, her expression grim as she watched students walking in. Hermione walked to a desk at the front of the classroom, where she kenw Ron and Harry wouldn't want to sit. She didn't know who she would end up sitting by, though if it was anything like Arithmancy it wouldn't be too bad. Malfoy hadn't even complained about sitting next to her and he hadn't goofed off during class. She almost wished he would be in Transfiguration with her, but Ron would throw and absolute fit because he was in this class as well. She still didn't understand why Ron had gotten upset after Potions; she knew that Malfoy hadn't been looking at her. Why would he? She wasn't anything special and it wasn't like Malfoy was her friend.

"Are you all right, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly, now standing in front of Hermione's desk. "You look rather frustrated,"

"Oh, I'm fine," Hermione lied, sending McGonagall a small smile. "I'm just contemplating something about my last class,"

"Quite all right then," Professor McGonagall said, nodding. "But do try to focus on this lesson when it starts,"

"I will," Hermione nodded. The only thing that would prevent her from focusing on Transfiguration was how tired she was, but she would try her hardest not to let that effect her. She was like Harry and Ron; she'd never fallen asleep in class though she was tempted to now. It had been a long night after Malfoy had left the common room; she'd barely managed to finish her homework because she'd been working so sluggishly.

More people filled the classroom and Neville sat down beside her, surprising her slightly. Neville had never been the best at Transfiguration, but she knew that he could have gotten better. She'd missed the last year of Hogwarts so it wouldn't surprise her if a lot of people had improved. "Hey Hermione," Neville greeted, sending her a small smile. "How was your summer?"

"It was nice," she lied easily. "I was at Ron's most of the time, so it was nice to see him and Ginny,"

"That does sound nice,"

"So how was your summer?"

"Oh, it was great," Neville said excitedly. "Gran couldn't stop saying how proud she was of me; she even decided that me liking Herbology and Charms is okay. I spent a lot of time with Luna too, helping her and her father rebuild their house and such,"

"That does sound nice," Hermione nodded, eyeing the door warily. It was absurd, really, but she couldn't help but wonder if Ron would be upset that she was talking to Neville and since he'd just walked through the door... And after getting upset when he thought Malfoy was looking at her... But her eyes met his for a split second before he looked away, continuing his conversation with Harry. "I'm sure Luna was happy to spend time with you this summer," she said, turning her attention to Neville once more.

"She seemed to like it," Neville shrugged. "It's hard to tell with her sometimes though,"

"But we wouldn't want her any other way,"

"Of course we wouldn't," Neville agreed.

Hermione was about to respond when Professor McGonagall called for their attention. The class started and Hermione followed along to the best of her ability, though halfway through her exhaustion caught up to her once again. Her ability to cast the spells well decreased as the class went on, though she still at least managed to cast them.

Hermione was thankful when the class ended; there was a free period next which meant that she could attempt to sleep. She was even considering skipping lunch, if she hadn't woken up screaming by then. Hermione knew that waking up was likely but even another hour of sleep might get her through the day. It was worth a try, anyway, so Hermione ignored Harry who was calling her name, and hurried to the Delegate's common room. It was empty when she entered it so she just dropped her bag by the door before hurrying to her room and throwing herself on to her bed. She was hoping to fall asleep quickly, simply because she didn't want to think about having a nightmare.

It took a few moments for her to fall asleep, but it happened nonetheless and Hermione was thankful for that, at least until her pleasant dream of dinner with her parents turned much darker. She woke quickly, the sound of her scream dying in her ears as her heart raced in her chest. Her hair was a mess again and her head pounded whenever her eyes were open, but she was used to the headaches.

Hermione gave a small cry as she saw that only forty minutes had passed; she'd expected at least an hour and a half of sleep. She felt like crying because of how tired she was, but she managed to keep herself together. She couldn't cry; she would look stupid if she started doing that and looking stupid was not something Hermione wanted to do. She sighed and climbed off her bed, running a brush through her hair in the hope that it wouldn't look awful for the rest of the day. She walked back out to the common room so she could go to the bathroom and splash cold water on her face so she could wake up more. The common room wasn't empty anymore though; Terry and Malfoy were sitting on opposite sides, obviously in the middle of an argument.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Just because Hermione left her bag in the common room doesn't mean you get to go through it!" Terry was saying, his eyes narrowed at Malfoy.

Malfoy, however, looked just as angry as Terry. "And how many times do I have to tell you that I wasn't going through it, I just couldn't remember what the Potions assignment was and I knew she would have written it down!"

"Oh, likely story," Terry scoffed. "You were probably going to try and steal something... You're a thief and a Death Eater!"

"Terry!" Hermione said sharply, making her presence known. Terry had jumped at the sound of her voice, but Malfoy had kept still, his glare still on Terry. For a second she was back in the Room of Requirement, watching the same glare fixed on Harry, but she blinked and the scene melted away. "That was uncalled for," she stated, regaining her composure. "And incredibly horrible to say. You should apologize,"

"But Hermione, he was going through your bag!" Terry argued.

"To look for an assignment, Terry. It's not a big deal,"

"Ha!" Malfoy said triumphantly.

"I don't know why you're protecting him," Terry said angrily, nodding toward Malfoy. "But I do know that Ron and Harry won't like hearing about it," He stormed out of the common room then, obviously frustrated.

Hermione sighed, knowing that if he did tell Harry and Ron she'd would hear about it later. She glanced at Malfoy, only to find him already gazing at her curiously. "What's wrong with your eyes?"

"My-My eyes?" Hermione asked, momentarily forgetting that she wanted to tell Malfoy that there wasn't actually a Potions assignment.

"They're all red,"

"Oh," Hermione said, knowing immediately what he was talking about. Her eyes must be bloodshot; it was because she was so tired. "That's nothing; it will go eventually,"

"They freak me out," Malfoy said quickly. "I don't care about you or anything like that,"

"I know," Hermione said. At this point she wasn't sure who did. "There was no Potions assignment, by the way. Slughorn didn't want to give us anything on our first day back in his class,"

Malfoy's cheeks went a shade of pink that Hermione chose to ignore so he wouldn't get frustrated with her. Before the war she probably would have pointed it out, as she'd hated him that much, but hate didn't seem worth it anymore. "Oh," Malfoy muttered. "Well, thanks for telling me, Granger,"

"No problem," she shrugged, taking her bag and replacing a few things that Malfoy had taken out in his search for the nonexistent assignment. She brought the bag into her own room so she wouldn't have to drag it to lunch before she came back out to find Malfoy still standing in the same spot, his expression thoughtful which was not something she saw on him often. "Are you coming to lunch then?"

"I suppose I have to if I want to eat,"

"Then you should get down before all of the good food is gone,"

"You should too,"

"I'm leaving now, Malfoy," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh,"

"I suppose I'll see you later?"

"Well we do kind of live together," he muttered. Hermione sighed before marching out of the common room. She didn't need to deal with Malfoy hating her at the moment; she'd had a bad enough day without that. She walked alone in the corridor for a few moments, wondering just as Terry had why she was even trying to be anything close to nice to Malfoy, when she heard footsteps behind her. She chose not to pay them any attention, as she was half sure she was just going to be back in the battle once more and turn around to see a Death Eater behind her, but when a hand touched her shoulder she didn't have much of a choice. "Granger-"

"I don't really like it when people come up behind me and grab me, Malfoy," she stated, moving away so he wasn't touching her. "Do you need something?"

His cheeks were the same pink color they had been after she'd mentioned that there wasn't a Potions assignment, though Hermione thought it was an endearing little blush. It made her want to tell him that he wasn't at fault when he'd touched her shoulder, it was just her own jumpiness about people coming up behind her after the battle. "I thought I should probably tell you that I am sorry for going through your bag. I didn't remember that Slughorn hadn't assigned anything,"

"It's fine," she assured him, shrugging. "I really don't mind; it's not as big of a deal as Terry made it out to be,"

"All right,"

"Yes," Hermione nodded. "Anyway, I should really get to lunch; if Terry did talk to Ron and Harry then I need to explain to them that he blew it all out of proportion,"

"Good luck with that,"

"Thank you,"

Malfoy turned on his heel and walked away then, leaving Hermione standing in the middle of the corridor feeling rather confused. Had she just found something about Malfoy endearing? And had he just apologized to her? Neither of those things had ever happened before; Malfoy had never cared if he upset her or something like that and Ron, well Ron was the only person she'd ever found endearing. She didn't find him to be that way any longer, though she hoped sometimes that he would return to the way he had been before. With a sigh Hermione ran a hand through her bushy hair and began walking once more to get to the Great Hall. Harry and Ron were already sitting at the Gryffindor table when she got there; she was almost fooled into thinking that she was back in her sixth year when she'd come to a meal from the library to see them sitting together. Then again in those days she'd hated Malfoy and he'd hated her and she wasn't quite sure if that was how they felt anymore. Malfoy seemed to dislike her plenty and she still wasn't his biggest fan, but hate seemed very unlikely.

Hermione sat down next to Ron, as she knew that was her expected seat, but Ron didn't look at her. He was talking to Harry, who'd glanced at her with a small smile, but his attention had quickly gone back to Ron. Who, she realized, obviously had talked to Terry because his conversation with Harry quickly switched from quidditch to Malfoy. "You know," he said loudly, still ignoring Hermione. "I never thought they'd let a Death Eater in to the school; maybe McGonagall should have been more selective,"

"The school's never been selective," Hermione pointed out quietly. "Anyone who wants an education can get one here,"

"I wasn't talking to you," Ron said sharply, finally looking at her with a glare. "I was talking to Harry, whose opinion actually matters to me right now,"

"And why doesn't mine?"

"Because you're the one going around with him-and you're supposed to be dating me, by the way, not spending all your time with stupid Malfoy,"

"Ron," Harry said, his voice warning Ron to change the subject.

"I am dating you," Hermione said furiously. "At least I'm trying to, but you're so stuck in a pit of despair that you can't open your eyes and see that!"

"I'm only-"

"I get it, Ron," she said. "You lost family in the battle therefore you're allowed to act like this. But I haven't found my parents yet, you know, and you don't see me acting like a complete jerk,"

"But I didn't choose to have my brother die; you chose to wipe your parents memories!"

"To keep them safe!"

"But what kind of person, I wonder, would know that their parents were out in the world but would choose to come back to school rather than continuing to try and find them?"

"They would have wanted me to go back to school-"

"You can't know that for sure,"

"I-I don't have to sit here and listen to this," Hermione said finally, glaring at Harry as well. "And you," she said, her gaze stuck on him. "You're being absolutely dreadful right now,"

"What have I done?" Harry asked, confused. It didn't surprise Hermione that he hadn't realized how they'd both upset her; he and Ron were oblivious to everything.

"You've just sat here and let him say every horrible thing that comes to his mind," she muttered before standing up from the table and walking quickly out of the hall. It was only when she was halfway to the Delegates common room that she realized she hadn't even achieved what she'd meant to by going down to the Great Hall: eating lunch. Hermione sighed but continued to the common room so she could get her bag from her bedroom before going to sit in History of Magic. Professor Binns probably wouldn't even be in the classroom yet.


	8. Chapter 8

A week into the school year and Draco had decided that he was already sick of the other students. He was sick of the dirty looks he got in the corridors, he was sick of living with the other delegates, and he was sick of having his left sleeve slip up during class and having people glare at his mark. It wasn't like he desperately wanted the mark on his arm; if he could get rid of it he would do it in a heartbeat but there was no way. He was forever branded as a bad man and there was nothing he could do to change that. Coming back had been a bad idea, he realized; he should have stayed at home and locked himself in his room to avoid his parents instead of going back to Hogwarts. He was beginning to wonder if it was impossible to drop out; he'd never seen anyone do it before but maybe if he talked to McGonagall... No. He wouldn't give up and let everyone else win. He would stick it out and get an education and hopefully find a decent job when he was done with school. He would survive the year; he had no other choice.

His plan to stay in his room for most of the year had quickly gone downhill; the only furniture that could be used for sitting on was his bed and it wasn't incredibly comfortable. But the chair in the common room, well, that had been claimed as his. The other delegates knew it and let him stay in the chair. Draco was sure it was so they wouldn't have to hear him complain, but he didn't mind that. At least he got the chair. Abbott and Boot usually sat on the right side of the sofa together; they were quickly becoming the best of friends. And Granger, well, she was actually the one who spent most of her time in her room. She went there right after dinner while the rest of them spent a few hours together, even though Abbott and Boot didn't talk to him. But every day Draco woke up she would either be walking back to her room from the bathroom or she'd be sitting on the left side of the couch, the side closest to his chair.

Waking up had become somewhat of an experiment to Draco. He only wanted to know exactly what time Granger got up in the morning so that she was awake before everyone else. It was simply curiosity that drove him to wake up five minutes earlier than the previous morning, so he could see when she would come out of her room yawning. He would be waking up at 5:25 the next morning, a time that bothered him greatly. He'd never gotten up that early in his life and now he was waking up then, simply to see when Granger woke up. He needed to stop thinking about Granger, he knew, because it would lead him nowhere good, though half of the time he really didn't care. She was more interesting than his homework, surprisingly enough.

And she was sitting right next to him. It was their second Arithmancy class and he'd once again come in late, being made to sit by Granger once more. A Ravenclaw had come up to her and told her that she'd be willing to sit by her instead, just so she wouldn't have to sit by a Death Eater. Granger had declined, her tone polite but quite obviously forced, and told the Ravenclaw that she didn't mind sitting by him, as he was quiet and didn't bother her at all. Unfortunately, that seemed like it was going to be the highlight of his day. Which was horrible; how had he gotten to the best part of his day being when Granger wanted to sit by him instead of a Ravenclaw? He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that, but there wasn't much he could do about the feeling. Draco knew that he couldn't change it easily; it had taken him two years to convince himself that muggleborns weren't that bad. He still wasn't able to say that he didn't hate Potter or Weasley. But he was starting to be able to say that Granger didn't bother him too much. Well, not say it but think it.

Draco was still incredibly curious as to what was going on with Granger and Weasley, as they weren't acting like a normal couple would. And he often heard Weasley saying things to her that were bad; he couldn't understand what Granger still saw in him. It wasn't any of his business though, so he didn't ask. Instead he just sat through the lesson, occasionally glancing at Granger and feeling safe doing so. Weasley wasn't there to notice, there was no way he would ever be in an Arithmancy class, and Granger was too focused on the lesson to realize either. He'd never really thought about it before, but she was slightly pretty. He wouldn't go any further than that, but it was true. He absolutely crazy hair was nice, in his opinion, because it was different than any other girl's in the school. And there was just something about her that he found to be slightly charming. He hated himself for the thoughts, but as he tuned Professor Vector out they seemed to be the only thing on his mind. He would be killed if anyone found out they seemed to be the only thing on his mind. He would be killed if anyone found out what he was thinking; it would be like he'd done a horrible crime to anyone but him. He was sure even Granger would be disgusted if she found out.

The bell that signaled the end of the class rang and Draco jumped, tearing his eyes away from Granger and shutting his textbook. He glanced at Granger one more time to see her rubbing her eyes but smiling slightly. She ended up walking out of the room before Draco and he trailed after her, careful not to get too close. She was talking with a boy from Hufflepuff though thankfully it wasn't McMillan. It surprised him to see her talking with someone he'd never noticed her with before, though he figured that was probably because he'd only really paid attention to her when she was with Potter or Weasley. "The lesson was fascinating," Granger was saying. Draco looked at some of the paintings on the wall, wondering if that would draw his attention away from her. The Hufflepuff boy agreed, smiling at Granger. They kept chatting about the lesson and how they would complete the homework and Draco decided to walk slower.

He ended up going back to the Delegate's common room while Granger went off in the direction of the library. He wanted to start on the Arithmancy essay as it was his free period next. He needed to get as much homework done as possible during the day because that night was the first of many meetings with McGonagall and the rest of the delegates. Draco had no desire to go but he didn't have a choice. McGonagall would probably go through the entire castle to find him just so he would cooperate. At least he wouldn't put it past her; maybe Granger would help her as well because this was the kind of thing Draco was sure she would be serious about. Granger liked helping people when she could, as far as Draco could tell.

He settled into his chair in the common room, pulling his textbook back out to start his essay. He wasn't thrilled about having to work on another essay and try to figure out what he was going to say to McGonagall to make her believe that he was actually trying with this whole delegate business. He wasn't sure what the others were doing with it though he had seen them talking to a few younger students who looked concerned about something or another. No one had come up to him so far, which didn't surprise Draco. Who would want to come up to a Death Eater and talk about their problems? He wouldn't, so he could understand why people avoided him. That and the fact that he'd been truly horrible during his previous years at Hogwarts. He'd barely been kind to anyone and those he had been kind to weren't in school anymore.

"Screw it," he muttered, shoving the half-finished essay into his bag and pulling out his Potions textbook. He wanted to read something and that was the only book he had with him other than his Arithmancy textbook and he had no desire to look at that. He would finish the essay later, maybe he'd have to stay up half the night to get it done but it would happen. Draco was okay with reading a textbook; he always found them interesting He liked to learn things and he liked school, for that matter, something that Gregory, Vincent, and Pansy had never understood. At least, he realized, that being alone this year would mean that there would be no one to bother him when he was doing schoolwork.

Draco began to read the textbook, forgetting for a while that he wasn't back at home reading in the library, a room his parents almost never went into. He was alone, he almost felt peaceful, and-and the door to the common room opened. Draco expected to see Boot or Abbott, as seeing them would make what was appearing to be a bad day even worse. Yes Abbott wasn't too bad and she was definitely better than Boot, but Draco found that she complained more than necessary and he hated it. But it was Granger, walking in with her eyes closed and her hands massaging her temples. She looked pale and there was a small frown on her lips that Draco found he disliked even more than her confused expression. "Granger-"

"Shh," she whispered, frowning even more as she held up a finger in his direction. "Please, not right now," she pleaded quietly. Draco was surprised to hear her speaking quietly; he was used to her speaking with a normal volume. "My head is killing me and I can't take some sarcastic remark or argument right now,"

Draco frowned; he wished she didn't expect an argument from him but after the way he'd treated her, he wasn't too surprised. Instead of telling her that he'd only planned on saying that he thought she should lay down because she looked exhausted, he just nodded. "Sorry," he muttered. Granger didn't look at him or say anything, she just made her way to the bathroom. He wished that he could have done something to help her, as the thought of Granger in pain made him feel guilty all over again, but the only thing he could think of was the odd head massage-like thing his mother would do for his father every time his head began to cause him pain. He could never touch Granger, nor do anything remotely kind for her as it would make her and anyone else that found out start asking questions. Which, Draco knew, he wasn't prepared to answer.

Granger emerged from the bathroom, looking just as dreadful as she had when she'd first entered it. He didn't know what she'd done in there to make her head feel better but he wasn't sure he wanted to ask; he didn't want to show any interest in her. She sat down on the left side of the sofa, which Draco found odd. He didn't understand why she would choose to sit close to him when she had the entire sofa to sit on. "I shouldn't have snapped at you," she stated, her voice sounding a bit ashamed. "I'm sorry,"

Draco stared at her; he wished she wouldn't act kindly toward him because then it would make it a lot easier to ignore her. "Don't be," he said, his voice harsher than he intended it to be. He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed for speaking rudely to her after she'd apologized to him. He hated that he was acting differently toward Granger and wanting her to like him, but if he wanted to be a better person then doing that was included. "You should have Weasley give you a massage," he said quickly. "Here," Draco tapped the side of his head awkwardly as Granger snapped her gaze to him.

"Excuse me?"

"I-Well, that's just what my mother does for my father whenever his head is in pain. I figure you're with Weasley, for some odd reason, and it might help you if he did that. It always helps my father,"

Draco was surprised to see Granger roll her eyes. She looked away from him though, her face going a shade pinker. "Ron would never do that,"

"But you're together," he said, knowing he sounded slightly clueless and hating it. "If it would help then I'm sure he would. Even Weasley would do that if he cares, I think anyway,"

"Together is a little far off, Malfoy. You've heard him; he'd rather I be cold and buried six feet under the ground," She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, allowing Draco to look at her features a little more. She looked incredibly sad; he was sure he'd never seen her look like that before.

"Well Weasley's an idiot then,"

"Don't call him that, Malfoy. He's still one of my best friends,"

"But you just said-"

"He's still one of my best friends. You don't get to speak about him like that," And with that Granger stood up, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at him. She turned on her heel and marched out of the common room. Draco stared after her, feeling stunned as she walked out of the room. Her mood had shifted so quickly and while he knew he was partially at fault, at first it had just been her. He didn't understand Granger and he had a feeling he never would.


	9. Chapter 9

It was yet another awkward dinner with Ron, Harry, and Ginny and Hermione only wished she could go back to her common room. She'd avoided going back there for the rest of the day after her odd encounter with Malfoy, but she knew he wasn't there now. She could see him, sitting at the Slytherin table by himself, just staring at his plate. He must have felt her gaze though, because he looked up. For a second their eyes met and he gave her a questioning look, but then his gaze when back to his plate. She couldn't believe how similar she felt to him in that moment. They were both two relatively miserable people with no escape. They were both alone-Well technically Hermione was surrounded by friends, but she felt alone. There was no one really asking if they were okay.

"Hermione?" Harry asked. He was still irritated with her for being rude to him the previous week, but Hermione didn't really care. She was irritated with him for not realizing that there was something wrong with her. They were supposed to be best friends; best friends were supposed to notice when the other was falling apart. "What are you staring at?"

"I'm not staring at anything," she denied, frowning. "Why?"

He shrugged, a frown etched into his face as well. "It just looked like you were; no reason,"

"She was probably looking at Malfoy," Ron said angrily. "Was the slimy git looking at you too?" It was probably the roll of her eyes, she realized, that sent Ron over the edge. He glared at her, suddenly furious, and all Hermione wanted to do was disappear. She didn't want to fight with him, not tonight; not when the hall was darkening before her eyes and she was beginning to see lined up bodies instead of tables. Everyone she loved was laying there and while she knew it wasn't real, her heart began to beat faster and she could tell that she was getting pale. And then, "Come on," Ron muttered, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the Gryffindor table.

"Ron, I-I need to go," Hermione said, her eyes slightly wide.

"Oh you're fine," Ron said, leading her toward the Slytherins. They stopped by Malfoy, who fixed his icy gaze on her instead of Ron.

"What do you want, Weasley?" he asked, his eyes still glued on her.

"What I want is for you to stop staring at my girlfriend," Ron said angrily. Hermione stared at Malfoy even as he shifted his gaze toward Ron. But looking at Malfoy was keeping her anchored; it was keeping her from looking around the great hall and seeing a bunch of dead people. She focused in on his eyes, wondering if she would end up seeing nothing but their icy color if she looked long enough.

"I'm not staring at her, Weasley; you're imagining things," Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "And if you really want someone to quit staring, maybe it should be her,"

Ron glared at him before pulling Hermione in for another sloppy kiss. She hated that he only wanted something to do with her when Malfoy was involved. She hated that their relationship only ever had a spark when Ron was trying to prove a point to a boy they'd both disliked since the first year. Hermione blinked and squirmed, pushing him away as the great hall scene from the battle melted away. He looked both hurt and angry with her, but Hermione was sick of his behavior. "Don't, Ron; not to prove a point to him. Just go sit down; I have somewhere to be,"

"Hermione-" Ron tried, sounding like he might care for the first time since the battle. Malfoy stood up and walked out of the great hall.

"Just leave me alone," she muttered, shoving past him and out of the great hall herself.

She walked a few paces, tears threating to spill down her cheeks, half because she was so frustrated and half because she was shaken by her most recent hallucination. "What the hell was that about?" Malfoy asked, walking up behind her. He must have waited for her outside the hall; he was probably looking for answers about Ron's behavior, though she couldn't really tell him anything because she couldn't speak for him.

"It was nothing; I'm sorry,"

"Obviously it's something, Granger. I don't want your boyfriend coming up to me, and I don't like seeing you all afraid and being dragged around by him. And what was with that anyway?"

"Please, just stop talking," Hermione pleaded.

They walked into a side corridor in silence; Malfoy placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, making Hermione turn around and face him. It was the first time, she realized, that Draco Malfoy had looked at her with a slightly concerned expression. And it was the first time he'd ever willingly touched her; she'd always assumed he was too disgusted by her to lay a hand on her. And so she just stared at him in surprise. "Did it happen again, Granger," he asked quietly, obviously wanting to keep the matter quiet despite the corridor being empty. "Were you back in the battle?"

"Yes," she muttered, nodding. Her eyes narrowed as she took a step away from Malfoy. "I don't need to hear you call me crazy like you did last time,"

He frowned at her, folding his arms across his chest and smirking slightly. "Well if you are..."

Hermione rolled her eyes and took another step away. "Just leave me alone, Malfoy, will you? I don't really need this right now,"

He took a step toward her, his smirk disappearing. He looked different, with the smirk gone and what could qualify as an apologetic expression. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again, frowning slightly. "Seeing you kiss Weasley is disgusting; if you could stop doing it in front of me that would be great," And with that he turned and walked away, leaving Hermione just as confused as she had been during their Arithmancy lesson earlier that day.

She'd lied to Ron though; she didn't have anywhere to be for another hour. She didn't want to go back to her common room, as she was worried that Malfoy would be there, and she couldn't go to the Gryffindor common room, as she didn't know the password, and for once she didn't want to go to the library. Wandering around the castle didn't seem like a good idea; there were too many memories in the corridors from the battle that Hermione was afraid of exploring. She sat down against the wall in the corridor, placing her head in her hands and sighing heavily.

Hermione was absolutely miserable; there was no denying that. She missed her parents and she wanted them back. She missed actually hanging out with just Harry; now it was Harry and Ginny and while she adored Ginny and she'd had plenty of time with Harry while horcrux hunting, she still missed him. And more than anything, she knew, she missed Ron. She missed the goofy boy she'd fallen for and she was sick of the angry boy that had taken his place. She missed a good night of sleep too, but that was another story. She was miserable, full of longing, and her dreams of what could have been with Ron were quickly falling away.

After a moment, though, she began to feel a bit better, because Neville had just walked up to her. "You all right, Hermione?" he asked, kneeling next to her. "You look, well, upset about something,"

Hermione looked at him; she loved that Neville could be so kind and clueless at the same time. She contemplated talking to him, but decided against it because her parents and Harry were the only ones she'd ever really felt comfortable talking to. "I'm all right, Neville. Thanks,"

Neville offered her a small smile, one that Hermione had seen many times over the course of their years at Hogwarts. She's always liked Neville; he was kind and he was helpful. Not to mention he'd been one of two people to actually want to take her to the Yule Ball in fourth year, before she'd tried to improve her appearance. "If you're sure," he said. "I should go find Luna though. I promised I'd help her feed the thestrals in the forest,"

"Tell her I say hello," Hermione said, offering him a weak smile.

Neville nodded and stood up, frowning slightly at her. "You could tell her yourself," he said, holding out a hand to her. Hermione hesitated before taking it; she had absolutely nothing better to do and she liked Neville and Luna. She got another smile as he pulled her off the ground and released her hand. "I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you,"

"I do hope so," Hermione said, following him toward the front of the castle and onto the grounds. "I'd hate to intrude,"

"No, you're fine," Neville said, shrugging as he looked at the forest. "Everyone missed you last year, you know. I've always liked your help in the classes we have together. It's not as many now because you're in all the classes only brilliant people can take-"

Hermione chuckled softly and shook her head. "That's not it, Neville. You're brilliant too, in your own way. Everyone was looking up to you last year, or so I've heard,"

His face went slightly pink which made Hermione smile slightly; she wasn't sure exactly what it was about Neville but he was making her feel a lot better. He was kind and he'd asked if she was okay; that was probably most of it.

"Coming from you, Hermione, that means a lot,"

They walked into the forest after the exchange, Hermione's eyes watching birds fly overhead as Neville led her to where he'd agreed to meet Luna. She almost felt bad for coming with him, as she was sure Neville had feelings for Luna, but she was too unsure of what else to do that she'd agreed without a thought. Hermione folded her arms across her chest, absentmindedly tapping her fingers against her arm as they entered a clearing. She shivered slightly, wondering if this was the clearing where Harry had faced off against Voldemort, where he'd survived the Killing Curse for the second time, where she was sure the outcome of the war had been determined. But she couldn't be sure; not without Harry with her and she wasn't sure she even wanted to know. For all she knew she could be standing on the spot where the most evil man on the face of the earth had tried to kill her best friend, for the second time. "Hello Neville-Oh, and you brought Hermione, that's nice," Luna said, walking over to them. She smiled at Hermione before looking off at the sky with a dreamy expression.

"I didn't think you'd mind," Neville said, looking at the sky as well. Neville leaned over and whispered something to Luna that Hermione didn't catch, but she could tell by the other girl's glance that it was about her. Hermione turned her attention to looking at the forest surrounding her. She knew the general appearance of thestrals, as she was sure she'd seen a few flying over the grounds after the battle, but she hadn't gone looking for them before. It took a few quiet minutes with Neville and Luna occasionally speaking to one another before a thestral came carefully into the clearing. Luna glanced at it and smiled, putting a hand into her bad and pulling out a raw piece of meat. Hermione's nose wrinkled slightly at the sight; she'd never been a fan of seeing raw meat. When she was younger she couldn't even be in the kitchen if her parents were preparing something with meat. But she watched the thestral, half wishing she couldn't see it but glad that she was at least able to say that she could understand what was so fascinating about the creatures.

Eventually Neville started up a conversation with Hermione, talking to her about how he was bothered by many dirty looks the young Slytherin students were getting, and she couldn't help but agree. She was irritated herself that many Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors blamed all Slytherins for the war when it definitely wasn't their fault. Especially not the youngest kids; they were pushed out of the castle like the younger members of every other house. They must have talked for a while as Luna fed different thestrals that came up to her, and they really only seemed to like Luna, before the sky began to grow dark. She glanced at the small watch on her wrist and groaned quietly, I'm so sorry," she said quickly. "I have to go; there's a meeting with Professor McGonagall for the delegates; I'll talk to her about the Slytherin issue. And thank you for inviting me to join you; it was very kind,"

With that she hurried away, trying to follow the path Neville had brought her on. She was already late for the meeting and she felt bad about that, but Neville had distracted her. She felt better with him, probably because he didn't come with the reminders that Ron did. Hermione finally ran out of the forest, knowing that she probably had a twig or two in her hair because she'd nearly run into a tree twice, but she didn't really care. Her appearance was not her biggest concern at the moment, no, she was concerned about being late. And for a fleeting moment all she could think was _What will Malfoy say?_ but why she cared about that was beyond her.

Hermione ran into the castle, past a few students who gave her curious looks, and to Professor McGonagall's office, which had been Dumbledore's for most of her time at Hogwarts. She breathed out the password, clutching a stitch in her side, and hurried up the stairs before knocking on the door. It was Hannah who pulled the door open and offered her a confused smile. "You're late," she said, stating the obvious in a way that annoyed Hermione slightly.

"I know, I'm sorry," she said, hurrying past Hannah and into the room. There were two open chairs in front of Professor McGonagall's desk and Hermione felt all eyes on her as she approached the seat by Malfoy. She was sure she only picked it because she was sure Hannah would never sit there; Hannah could hardly stand Malfoy.

"Thank you for joining us, Miss Granger," McGonagall said, giving her a slightly disapproving look. Hermione blushed guiltily; she hated letting the older witch down. "Mr. Boot, if you would continue what you were saying?"

Hermione sat back in her chair, crossing her legs and looking at Terry with what she hoped looked like an interested expression. Really she didn't care about what Terry was saying; he wanted to start a group that talked about all of the good aspects of each house and be supportive of each other. It sounded like a good idea, though it was never something Hermione would go to, but that was when Malfoy choose to lean over to her. "You've got branches in your hair, Granger," he said quietly, eyeing McGonagall like he was hoping she wouldn't notice their conversation.

"Why are you looking at my hair, Malfoy?" she challenged, not looking at him. He'd almost been kind, earlier, but she felt irritated now. She was thinking of Ron's behavior, being late, and how tired she was beginning to feel.

"Why do you have branches in it?"

"I was in the forest,"

"That's against the rules,"

"So?"

"So why are you breaking the rules?"

"Because I felt like it; now will you stop talking?"

"No,"

Hermione turned her head a fraction of an inch to glare at him; the smirk that she was met with made her feel even more frustrated. "Leave me alone,"

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because that would be the civil thing to do,"

"Since when have I ever been civil?"

"Oh, I don't know. You're the one who was all concerned earlier today,"

His face went a light shade of pink, Hermione could tell, and she bit back a triumphant grin. "That was not concern; that was-that was curiosity,"

"Sure it was, Malfoy,"

"Oh shut it Granger,"

"Gladly,"

"Miss Granger? Is there anything you would like to add? Any ideas on how to keep the houses unified?"

"Oh, well..." Hermione started, feeling a bit shaken from what had been a slightly amusing exchange with Malfoy. She launched into her conversation with Neville, leaving out the part about them being in the forest, but McGonagall seemed upset by the news. She must not have noticed it as much as Hermione had.

"Anything to add, Mr. Malfoy?"

"What?"

"Is there anything you would like to add?" she repeated.

Malfoy looked at everyone else in the room, his eyes lingering on Hermione for a second longer than necessary. "As the worst Slytherin in the school," he started, frowning. Hermione noticed him rub his left forearm, and she remembered that he had the Dark Mark on his arm. It was odd to think about, but they were both scarred with a mark Hermione knew she didn't want, and she assumed Malfoy didn't want his either. "I think the others should just suck it up and deal with the glares. It's not like they're being killed by them," And with that Malfoy stood up and walked out the door, but she was incredibly sad to see how ashamed he looked.


	10. Chapter 10

Two hours; that was how long he'd been hearing an argument in the common room. Boot, Abbott, and Granger had come back from their meeting half an hour after he had and he swore he could feel the tension seeping into his own room. It sounded like Granger had gotten frustrated with Boot and Draco hadn't been sure why at first. But he'd quickly gathered that it was because of him. He'd never realized just how loud Granger could be; her voice was killing his ears. Boot was shouting too, about how he thought Draco should be sent to Azkaban and Granger's shrill voice was shooting him down, every time. He couldn't believe Granger was defending him, after everything he'd done... But apparently Boot couldn't believe it either because halfway through the argument the door had slammed. Granger's voice had disappeared, as had Boot's, and for a few moments all he could do was listen to the quiet murmuring of Abbott and Granger. And then the yelling started again.

"Oh very mature, Terry!" Granger had yelled suddenly. Draco could only imagine the look in her eyes; she sounded absolutely furious. "Bringing them here as if they can do anything!"

Weasley's voice replaced Boot's, shouting angrily and not even caring about what Granger was saying in response. "He tried to kill you!" or "He watched you tortured!" were the most common things out of his mouth. Potter was there too, desperately trying to calm his friends, but it wasn't working very well. After another hour Weasley shouted that he should have left Granger to be killed by Bellatrix so he would be saved the trouble. The common room fell silent immediately and Draco himself couldn't help but stare at the door with his mouth hanging open. There was another slam of a door, signaling that Weasley had left and probably Potter too. Draco had never liked Weasley, never, but he'd never realized just how terrible the other boy could be.

"Hermione?" Abbott asked quietly.

"Go away," Granger said harshly. Two more doors closed and Draco climbed out of his bed. He was already in his pajamas, which made him feel awkward and like a child again, after hearing his parents fighting. He approached his door and opened it silently, taking a cautious step out into the common room. Granger was standing in the middle of the room, her shoulders shaking slightly.

He watched her for a moment, considering just stepping back into his room and leaving her alone; he hated tears and he was sure she was crying. But this was Granger; he'd never seen Granger cry and it was freaking him out. He was furious with Potter for leaving when she clearly needed someone. Obviously she would never want that someone to be him, but what other choice did she have? Boot and Abbott were in their rooms, probably getting ready for bed, her boyfriend was the one who had hurt her in the first place, and her best friend seemed to have ignored her. "Granger?" Draco asked quietly.

She turned around slowly, wiping her eyes before folding her arms across her chest, as if that would protect her. As if he planned on hurting her too. Her long sleeves had been rolled up though, and he caught a glimpse of the scar on her arm; guilt swelled in his chest. "What do you want?" she asked finally.

Draco's eyes lingered on her arm for a moment before he looked back at her face. Granger made the quick move to pull down her sleeve, obviously not wanting him to look at the word anymore. He quickly realized that it had been stupid to come out into the common room; he had absolutely no idea what to say to her that would make her stop looking so sad. And he couldn't help but let his anger toward Weasley grow; after everything she'd done for him, he was treating her like she was dirt. Draco knew that was how he'd treated her in the past, but Weasley was supposed to love her or something like that. But he still didn't know what to say; he couldn't bring up Weasley or Potter without upsetting Granger and he didn't want to say anything about listening to her shout in his favor. "You, um... You've still got a twig in your hair," he decided on, feeling like an idiot as the words came up. Granger stared at him, her eyebrows raising slightly as another tear leaked out of her eye. "Here, I'll get it," he said, finding the odd branch rather annoying.

He took a few steps toward her, surprised when she didn't back away from him. "Malfoy?" she questioned quietly as he reached to take the twig out of her hair. "What are you doing?"

"Taking this out of your hair, isn't it obvious?"

"Well, yes, but... why?"

"I don't know, it was bothering me,"

"Malfoy, I..." she trailed off, looking at her arms as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"It's okay, I get it. I wouldn't want someone like me around either. I just... I heard what he said to you, Granger, and don't mistake this for caring or anything like that," he said quickly, wanting her to understand that. He didn't care about Granger; that was impossible. "But you shouldn't stand for that kind of treatment. And I know you don't want to hear it, but he is-"

"Horrible, I know," Granger said, sighing heavily. She straightened her back and wiped her eyes again, trying to get her tears to go away. It seemed like she hated the silly things as much as he did. "You're right. I can't believe it, but you are," They fell into a silence for a few minutes, just standing there watching the other warily. Draco couldn't believe he was standing so close to Granger and he didn't want to insult her. He didn't want to see her any more upset than she already was. "I should get some sleep," Granger said finally. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow,"

"Why?"

Granger blinked, frowning as if she'd said something she didn't mean to. "Well, I'll have to apologize to Ron,"

"You're going to apologize to him?" he asked, surprised. Granger had never seemed like the kind of person to apologize when she'd done no wrong.

"Well, yes," she said, shrugging slightly. "I've got to; I want to... Well with my..." she trailed off, giving him the same frown she had only moments ago. "I just have to,"

"I won't pretend to understand," he said, returning her frown and taking a step back toward his own room. "But do what you've got to do. It's not like my opinion matters anyway,"

Draco turned away from her, sighing quietly as he did so. He wasn't sure why the thought of Granger apologizing to Weasley bothered him, but he had a feeling it was because after the way Weasley had treated her, he didn't deserve an apology from anyone. Let alone Granger, who Draco knew had done no wrong. She shouldn't have tried to defend him, that was true, but he couldn't do anything about that. "It does," Granger said quietly. "Kind of, well... I don't know," Draco turned around, surprised by the comment, but Granger was already hurrying into the bathroom. He shook his head slightly and retreated to his bedroom.

He fell onto his bed and closed his eyes, fighting away thoughts in the hope that he could get some sleep. All he wanted to do at the moment was fight; all he wanted to do was go up to Weasley and punch him in the nose to wipe his stupid expression off his face. Draco despised Weasley and there were only a few others he could say that about: Voldemort, Bellatrix, his father, and himself. He didn't even despise Potter or Granger-No, he couldn't think about Granger. It felt like she was changing things, in a way, and Draco didn't like that; he couldn't handle any more change.

Draco rolled over, kicking the blankets away from his body and letting himself shiver slightly as a chilly breeze drifted in through the window. He felt odd; under the covers he felt too hot and he was beginning to feel cold without them. He figured he deserved the uncomfortable feeling; after everything he'd done he need to experience a few things the others had during the past year. He wondered, briefly, if Granger had ever spent a cold night while she was out camping around with Potter and Weasley. But that didn't matter, not really, because he knew he would never find out. He barely even saw Granger, the only real time was when he woke up and when he sat by her in Arithmancy. Sure she was in a few of his other classes and he could see her in the great hall and sometimes as he was going to bed, but it's not like he said a bunch to her then. Sometimes they would exchange a quiet "hello" or "good morning" as he walked into the common room or sat down by her.

Another five minutes and he was sleeping restlessly, glad that his thoughts of Granger had disappeared by slightly irritated about dreaming of his aunt. He hated the woman; she had hated him too, he was sure, even though she acted like she did. She acted like she cared and Draco had believed her, once, and he'd believed plenty of other people too. But he did end up sleeping semi-peacefully even with the dream, something Draco was happy about when 5:25 came around and it was time for him to wake up.

He was only angry when he woke up, because he was sick of getting up so early only to see that Granger was awake as well. Just once he would like to get up before her, though that was a really silly thing to want. He didn't even know why he cared so much about her when she woke, but he was beginning to think he wouldn't really find out. Not any time soon, anyway.

Draco climbed off his bed and frowned, yawning loudly and running a hand through his already messy hair. He usually slicked it back, but at any time before seven in the morning he didn't really care. He walked out of his room and into the common room, covering his mouth as he yawned again, quieter this time. And he stared at the sofa then, his eyes going wide despite how sleepy he felt. She was sitting there, already, curled up in a blanket and reading a book. "Seriously?" he asked, forgetting that he hadn't planned on saying anything to her.

Granger jumped slightly and turned to look at him, her eyes tired but a bit surprised. "Malfoy?" she asked, clutching her blanket a little tighter. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question," he muttered, his anger disappearing. Granger had every right to wake up whenever she wanted; he had no reason to be irritated with her for being awake.

"I'm reading. You're the one that's just sitting around,"

"I just woke up, Granger. I'm allowed to sit in my chair for a while," he said, walking to his spot and taking a seat.

"All right then," Granger said, looking away from him and back to her book. She yawned quietly and turned the page, completely ignoring Draco.

Draco watched her for a few moments before turning to look at the fireplace. There were a few dying embers in it; it looked as if no one had touched it since the previous night. A dying fire was rather boring to watch, so he turned his gaze back to her. "Is it good?" he asked, resigning himself to a civil conversation with a girl he didn't really want to talk to.

"Excuse me?"

"Your book, is it good?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't,"

"Then why are you asking?"

"I'm allowed to, Granger. You're the one that's asking so many bloody questions,"

"You're the one that started this,"

"I-You're right," he admitted quietly.

"I'm what?" she asked, her eyes going slightly wide as she looked up at him. "Did you just say I was right?"

"You heard me, Granger, don't make me say it again,"

She smiled slightly, just for a moment, and looked back down at her page. "It's not terrible," she said, shrugging slightly. "Though it's not the best I've ever read,"

"Right," Draco said, amazed at how easily she could talk to him. Shouldn't she hate him as much as he hated himself? Shouldn't she be disgusted by the sight of him? "Weren't you reading a different one yesterday?"

"You paid attention to what I was reading yesterday?"

"The cover looks different,"

"I suppose it would.," she said. "I finished the one I was reading yesterday, so I started a new one,"

"You read fast then?"

"Usually,"

Draco nodded and fell silent; he didn't know what else to say to her that would be deemed appropriate. A small exchange about her book had been enough to make him speechless; he had no idea what else would interest Granger. She liked books, and school for that matter, but that was all he knew from going to school with her for six years. He felt slightly ashamed of that fact, but it wasn't like Granger knew anything about him either. At least he didn't think she did; he couldn't imagine Granger caring about him enough to realize what he was interested in. Half the time he didn't even know what he was interested in.

The silence didn't last long; Granger closed her book and disappeared to her room with her blanket. She walked back out with a towel and into the bathroom without a word. Draco sat in his chair, staring into the fire with tired eyes. He was waiting for Granger to finish getting ready before he could get ready himself, as he thought that was the respectful thing to do instead of just barging into the bathroom while she was showering. He'd be furious if someone did that to him, so waiting felt right. Eventually Granger walked out, drying her hair with her towel, and Draco was able to catch the faint scent of flowers as she passed.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table, completely exhausted but managing to keep her eyes open. It had been a long day, though it seemed that every day was, and what Hermione truly wanted was to go back to her common room and go to bed. She knew that she had homework to do and she would be awake in a few hours anyway, but sleep still seemed wonderful to her. Harry, Ron, and Ginny weren't in the great hall yet but Hermione knew they would be coming in soon. Food was already sitting on the table though, so Hermione helped herself to a small plate. She was glad for a moment that she was able to get her food first; Ron and Harry usually cleared out their section of the table fairly quickly.

She was furious, with herself and with Ron for avoiding her at every opportunity. Hermione had intended on apologizing for the events of the previous night, but as the early hours of the morning had stretched on she'd realized that she had absolutely nothing to apologize for. Hermione didn't believe that Malfoy should have to listen to horrible things like how he should be in Azkaban or dead. She heard that from Ron, sometimes, and it was a horrible thing to hear. The war was over now; in Hermione's opinion it no longer mattered what side someone was on. What mattered was how they acted now. And Malfoy, well, he was considerably nicer than he had been in the past years. Hermione didn't know how that was possible or if he could ever be better, but she didn't care. At the moment he was nicer than Ron and the fact was, she'd rather spend her days quietly sitting in the common room with him than hanging around Ron and Harry.

The familiar sound of Ginny's laughter rang through the great hall and Hermione frowned; if this meal was anything like the last two Ron would refuse to sit by her and she would end up alone on her side of the table. Harry and Ginny would shrug it off and continue speaking to each other as normal and herself and Ron would eat in stony silence, Ron occasionally looking at her and glaring. Hermione didn't know how much more of him she could take; her patience was wearing thin and her temper was getting worse; not sleeping well definitely did not make her any more cheerful. "You could have walked down with us," Harry said as he sat down across from her, Ron and Ginny sitting on either side of him. Hermione rolled her eyes and took a small bite of her dinner, ignoring the glare she could feel Ron giving her.

"I'm allowed to do things on my own," she said, feeling bad for snapping at her friends but not caring enough to apologize. She was irritated with them all but there was no way she was going to voice that.

"I didn't-"

"Just leave her alone, Harry," Ron said angrily. "Obviously she thinks she's too good for us now when in reality it's the opposite. Don't waste your time,"

Hermione blinked and glanced at him, her eyes narrowing. For a moment she considered ignoring his comment, but she wasn't in the best mood to begin with. "Exactly. Just ignore me, Ronald. It's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything," She stood, throwing her fork down and frowning because she'd only had a few bites to eat. She would get hungry early in the morning but she had no desire to stay with Ron and Harry any longer. Ginny hadn't done anything and Hermione felt bad about the confused look she was giving her, but that didn't make her want to stay. It wasn't like Ginny would end up talking to her anyway; she would spend the entire night discussing something with Harry while Ron added things in every now and then. They didn't really care all that much about her, not anymore. At least that's what it felt like.

"Hermione-" Harry tried, surprised by her actions. He probably expected her to just accept what Ron had said like everyone else did, but all she could think of was what Malfoy had said. _You shouldn't stand for that kind of treatment._ He was right; Hermione was amazed by that but he was right. She didn't know how much longer she could deal with Ron's words, but she would try.

Hermione turned away from her friends and marched out of the great hall, annoyance and exhaustion weighing heavily on her mind as she walked back to the common room. Her mood was only getting worse as she stomped through the corridors, and it wasn't improved at all when she actually did get back to the common room. There were books thrown about, some now in half, while others were just laying on the floor. Hermione was irritated because the book could have been ruined and everyone knew how much she loved books. She rolled her eyes and with a wave of her wand repaired the books and stacked them neatly on the small table in the middle of the room.

Hermione walked toward her bedroom, knowing she could get few hours of sleep before she would be up for the rest of the night doing her homework. She was right by her door, just a few seconds from short-lasting peace when she heard glass shatter. She stopped and stared at the door next to her own, her eyebrows raised. She'd never thought about going to Malfoy's door but why would glass break from inside his room? There was a vase of flowers in her own room but she couldn't imagine Malfoy having orchids sitting on his bedside table as well. Hermione took a few tentative steps before knocking on the door, wondering if Malfoy would actually answer, but all she could hear was muffled shouts of frustration. "-Bloody Finnigan-Damnit-Whoever the hell is out there go away!" Hermione didn't respond; she just rolled her eyes. Seamus must have done something to upset Malfoy and she couldn't understand why. Wasn't it better to forget the past so another war didn't break out? She didn't think she could ever handle another war; she would shatter just like the glass she was sure she'd heard moments ago. She knocked again, and Malfoy let out another angry shout as his door was yanked open. His face twisted like he hated her as he shouted, "Oh what do you want?"

"I thought I heard glass-"

"And?"

"And I wanted to know if something had happened or if you-Malfoy, you're bleeding-"

"Go away, Granger,"

"I can fix that, really quickly; did you pick up the shards?"

"I told you to go away!"

"Well I'm not going to," she said defiantly, pushing past him and into his dark room. Never, in her entire life, did she imagine herself going into Draco Malfoy's room, but here she was. Malfoy had a look of disbelief on his face that almost made Hermione laugh, but she didn't.

"Get-Get out, Granger!"

"Not until you let me fix your hand. And you could, I don't know, light the fire or something so it's not nearly pitch black in here,"

"I like the dark," he muttered, still staring at her with wide eyes. "You really do need to get out,"

"As I said, I'll leave once your hand is okay. And maybe after I've cleaned up the glass-Seriously, Malfoy? What did you throw at the window to break it?"

"The Arithmancy textbook,"

"I hate that one,"

"You don't hate any books, Granger. Don't try to fool me,"

Hermione shrugged, offering him a small smile before pointing her wand at his fireplace and lighting it. Soft light spread through the room quickly and Hermione looked back at Malfoy, yawning quietly. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and Hermione felt bad, for a moment, but she wouldn't be able to even get to sleep if she knew that Malfoy was bleeding. She waved her wand again, putting the window back together and what looked like the vase in her room; there must have been one in each of their rooms even though she was sure neither of the boys would use them. "Don't try and pick up the shards; that's idiotic. You are a wizard, you know,"

"I know," Malfoy said, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Are you happy now? Can you get out?"

"Your hand-"

"It doesn't matter, Granger. What matters is what happens if Boot or Abbott see you leaving my room. Do you realize what that would mean?"

"No?" Hermione said, confused. She didn't see the big deal; yes she didn't really want to be there and Malfoy didn't want her there either, but she could easily explain that she was helping him. She'd helped plenty of people in the castle.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and muttered something before walking to his door and opening it a little wider. "Just go. You've cleaned up the mess so thank you or whatever, but just go,"

"But I-"

"I can fix it myself, Granger, just get out!"

"You haven't changed at all," Hermione muttered angrily as she marched out of her room. She'd been thinking about it and he had been acting differently since the beginning of the year, just the slightest bit nicer, but all she'd wanted to do was help him and he'd pushed her away. Hermione hadn't realized that her words would anger him though; her opinion shouldn't have mattered to him and yet he was storming up to her, looking almost as angry as he had when he'd first opened his door.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Like you care," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't-Wait!" he said as she reached her door.

Hermione stopped and turned around, placing her hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow. "You turned down my help, Malfoy, so what do you need?"

"I need you to tell me what you meant,"

"No, you don't. My opinion doesn't matter to you, so what's the big deal?" Hermione asked. She didn't wait for him to respond, knowing that she wouldn't like to explain her answer and Malfoy wouldn't like to hear it. She slipped into her room and closed the door firmly in Malfoy's face, locking it quickly. Malfoy pounded on her door and Hermione could hear him asking her to come back out and explain, but she knew he couldn't hear her as she said, "Go away," and changed into her pajamas. Hermione closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep to the sound of Malfoy pounding on her door with his fists.

It did not work. Malfoy continued his yelling for five minutes and Hermione groaned before climbing out of bed, grabbing her wand, and throwing her door open; Malfoy nearly hit her in the face because she'd opened the door quickly, but he caught himself. "Can you leave me alone? I'm trying to go to bed,"

"You're-It's half past seven, Granger, what the hell are you doing going to bed?"

"I don't need to explain that to you, Malfoy. But seriously, can you please leave me alone?"

"Not until you tell me what you meant,"

"You're still on about that?"

"No, I'm just knocking on your door and yelling because I thought it would be a laugh,"

Hermione rolled her eyes but looked down and chuckled slightly. She shook her head and when she looked back up she saw that Malfoy looked slightly proud. "I meant that during the first week of the year, you were actually being, I don't know, kind of nice. Or at least bearable. Quite unlike you were the last time I saw you. But I was trying to help you tonight, in case you didn't notice, and all you wanted to do was yell at me,"

"That's not all I-"

"Don't lie, Malfoy, I'm not an idiot,"

He remained silent for a moment and watched her, his eyes wary. "Well you know it wasn't a good idea for you to come in; I didn't want you there,"

"I understand and I'm sorry," Hermione said, frowning. "Though I still don't get the big deal about that,"

"Oh quit acting so bloody innocent,"

"What?"

"You know you'd go running off to Weasley and tell him I forced you in there and he'd send Finnigan after me again-"

"Malfoy, what on earth are you talking about?"

"You told Weasley that I was staring at you or something or maybe about last night, probably when you were apologizing to him, and Finnigan came up telling me to stay away from you and shoving me into the wall-"

"I never apologized to Ron,"

"What?"

"I didn't apologize. I shouldn't have to either. I barely said a word to him today, Malfoy. Besides, I know you'd never stare at me and last night was one of those nice moments that made me think you were changing,"

"So then-"

"Ron must have made it up and told Seamus to do something about it. Though why Seamus would is beyond me; he never liked me much-"

"You're one of their heroes; he probably looks up to you or something,"

"One of their heroes? What are you-"

"Don't pretend you don't know, Granger,"

Hermione sighed and looked down, shaking her head. If people saw the wreck she was becoming they wouldn't think about her like that. "I'll talk to Ron about what happened; I'm sorry for whatever Seamus did to you. I can still heal your hand, if you want,"

"I guess, well, it doesn't really matter,"

Hermione reached out and grabbed his hand, wanting to heal it quickly so the awkward conversation could end and she could get her few hours of sleep. Malfoy flinched and Hermione's face warmed quickly; she was sure he'd only flinched because she'd touched him and she was muggle born. Half annoyed but not wanting to get into an argument, Hermione released him. "I'm sorry. I won't touch you. Just hold your hand out,"

"Granger-"

"Just hold your hand out, Malfoy. I'm tired," Hermione whispered a simply spell as Malfoy did as told and the cuts from the shards of glass disappeared. "There you go. Good as new. Now goodnight,"

"Granger I wasn't-"

Hermione shut her door, as Malfoy hadn't been standing in its way, and she sighed heavily before climbing back into bed and closing her eyes again.


	12. Chapter 12

Another week had gone by, leaving Draco feeling even worse than he had the first time he'd really caught sight of Granger's arm. She would no longer look at him and there were no long any polite 'hellos' or the odd conversation about her book. Draco would have been fine, had it been like this the entire year, but it hadn't. For maybe a week and a half Granger hadn't hated him and now that he was sure she did, he didn't know what to do. He'd only needed one person not to hate him; he'd needed one person who didn't make him feel like the scum of the earth and then he would have been fine. And if that one person just had to be Granger well, he'd been dealing with his feelings on that. He barely even minded; Granger wasn't all bad.

But he'd flinched, when she'd grabbed his hand to heal it. He'd flinched and Granger thought it was because she'd touched him, when in reality it was because of the cuts from the glass on his hand. They hurt, a lot; he had been stupid to try and pick up that mess with his hands. But that wasn't all. It was his left hand that had been injured. If, by some chance, his sleeve had been rolled up then Granger would have seen the dark mark on his forearm; people saw that enough as it is but Draco didn't want Granger to be one of those people. He didn't want her to see just how bad he was, because then she would hate him even more.

"Mr. Malfoy!"

Draco jumped slightly, though not enough for anyone in his Astronomy class to notice. It was half past midnight and they really should have been in bed by then, but Professor Sinistra had observed something that she believed was amazing and they all had to spot it before they could go. There were maybe five students left; the others had all been lucky and cared enough to look really closely for what she described and spot it, but Draco had spent most of his time angrily staring at the sky through his telescope, wondering why everything with Granger had to be so difficult. "What?" he asked rudely, glaring at the professor now instead of the sky.

Her eyes narrowed slightly and Draco sighed, folding his arms across his chest. "If you haven't noticed, everyone else has gone," she began, gesturing to the empty Astronomy Tower. Draco frowned; he hadn't actually noticed them leave which might have been bad, but his mind was too busy to pay attention to those he didn't care about. "Obviously you're not going to find it. Go to bed, Mr. Malfoy,"

He packed up without another word, trying to get back to the common room as quickly as possible. Draco had no idea why he'd continued with Astronomy; he'd never liked it and he absolutely hated the Astronomy Tower. He'd been good at it, yes, never as good as Granger, but for some reason he'd just wanted to have a class he could do easily. He'd underestimated how much more difficult the class would be during the last two years of Hogwarts. Draco got back to the common room and frowned. There she was, sitting on the sofa, reading a book like he always saw her doing when he came out of his room in the morning. Draco wanted to walk past her so he wouldn't be tempted to comment on the fact that she was awake. From what he could see she looked very tired and Draco just wanted to push her into her room so she would sleep. Instead she sat up reading; he couldn't understand it. Half hoping that Granger wouldn't notice him slip in, Draco began to walk around the edge of the common room to get to his own room. Granger's curt voice stopped him. "You should have been back ages ago,"

"I don't need you to tell me when I should have come back. Maybe I was doing something important," Draco retorted, pausing between Granger and Abbott's door. He was behind her now and Granger was still looking at her book. He was half hoping that she wouldn't say anything else and just let him go to bed, but, as usual, he didn't get what he wanted.

"And were you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Were you doing something important? Because I highly doubt it,"

"What's got you all upset tonight?"

"Nothing," Granger snapped. There was a long pause where Draco considered just running to his room and leaving her on the sofa, but something kept him standing behind her. "Ronald," she said finally, giving him the answer Draco realized he should have expected.

"You should know he'll do stuff like that. He is an idiot after all,"

Granger sighed and Draco saw her shake her head slightly before she stood up from the sofa. "Idiotic. I should have known,"

"Should have known what?"

"That's none of your business, Malfoy,"

"He really put you in a bad mood, didn't he," Draco said, standing in front of Granger's door now with his arms crossed. She was glaring at him but she'd also peaked his interest and he wanted to know what Weasley had done to upset her so much.

"Yes," Granger said, walking to stand in front of him. She folded her arms too and glared at him, which made the corner of Draco's mouth twitch up. "Now move,"

"You know last week-"

"I don't want to talk about last week,"

"Because?"

"I think you know why, Malfoy,"

"I think-"

"I don't care what you think about last week. I was trying to help you and you were rude about it, end of story-"

"You know if you just listened to someone else for once-"

"I don't need to listen to you,"

"But I-"

"I know what happened last week, Malfoy, you don't need to explain why you-"

"I didn't want you to see it, that's all," Draco said quietly; for some reason he actually cared about what Granger was thinking and he didn't want her to assume he was awful. "That's why I flinched, not because you touched me, because I didn't want you to see,"

"You didn't want me to see what, Malfoy?" Granger asked, looking confused again. Draco still hated that expression on her; he was used to seeing her as confident and as sure as humanly possible, but confusion? That had rarely happened before this year.

"Think it through, Granger. What hand was hurt?"

"Your left, but-"

"And what would you have seen if my sleeve had slipped up?"

"Your arm?"

Draco rolled his eyes; she had to be really tired if she wasn't understanding what he was trying to say. Maybe Granger had never known him very well, but she knew what he was. She knew that he was a Death Eater and she knew what that meant he would be branded with. "Connect the dots, Granger. What am I?"

There was a lot of silence following his quiet words and Granger began to frown, her brow furrowed as she looked at him. "You're-oh,"

He nodded, feeling more shame than he had in a while. It's not like he wanted Granger to think about how awful of a person he was; he didn't want her to avoid him if she thought about it too much. And he knew she would; he knew it. He sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter, I guess-"

Draco stopped talking as Granger reached out and gently grabbed his arm. He could only stare as she pushed his sleeve up and frowned at his arm. Draco felt nothing but disgust as he looked down at his own arm so he squirmed, wishing Granger would just let him go so the mark wouldn't have to be seen by the both of them. Granger was too good to look at a mark like that, in his opinion. "Everyone seems to care about whether or not someone has this mark or not," she stated.

"I know, I-Please don't look-"

"I don't," she said quietly, still staring at the mark as her fingers gently brushed it. She dropped his arm and looked at his face, her cheeks warming much like his own were. "Care, that is, Malfoy. That's from the past,"

"But I fought on-"

"A side you were forced on to, right? Do you honestly want that mark?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then it doesn't matter, not to me. You're not actually that bad, Malfoy, so stop thinking that you are,"

"You don't think him..." he trailed off, his brow furrowing at her words. How could Granger, out of everyone, think that he wasn't _that bad_? Granger was amazing; she was a hero to everyone from the war and he was a Death Eater who could have killed her friends. And he wasn't that bad? "How could you...?"

"The past is a scary place to live, Malfoy. And I try not to dwell on it very much," There was something guarded about the way she spoke that made Draco frown slightly, but at the same time he wanted to smile. Granger didn't hate him; she didn't want to hate him either. And maybe there was something that she wasn't telling him, but how could he expect her to spill her secrets when he wouldn't do the same?

"You would know, seeing battle flashbacks as often as you do,"

Granger smiled slightly and Draco noticed that she was looking rather tired. "Right. With just the flashbacks,"

"Well I can't think of another reason-"

"There isn't another one," Granger said quickly. It became obvious to him that there was something she was hiding, but Draco kept quiet and finally stepped out of her way. He didn't want to upset her anymore; she'd just said something nice and it would be rude to do something irritating in return. In the past Draco would have cared; he would have gladly made fun of her or made some rude comment. But Granger was right; maybe the past was better forgotten. Draco knew he was trying to forget about how he'd acted and the part he'd played in the war and while it was probably harder for him than for Granger, he would manage. He'd have to.

An instant later, all he could think was _shit_. Since when had he ever cared about what Granger thought of him? Since when had he cared about what the incredibly annoying know-it-all had thought of him? He shouldn't need her kind words to make himself feel better; he shouldn't need anything from Granger, ever. And he was absolutely furious that he'd come to needing that from the likes of her. True she wasn't as bad as Potter and she definitely wasn't as bad as that stupid prat Weasley, but she was still a Gryffindor who had hated him from day one. Maybe things had changed for her, but that wasn't something Draco was incredibly prepared for. Did he want to be a better person? Yes. Did he want to be a better man than his father? Yes. Did he want Granger to be involved in his life? Not a chance in the world. At least, that was what he told himself as Granger stared at him warily. She yawned, seeming to have no knowledge of the struggle Draco was having in his own head. He wanted to never speak to her again; he wanted to call her filthy names and still feel as amazing as he had when she'd muttered those stupid words about the past belonging in the past. A small part of him, and this was a part Draco was beginning to despise, wanted to listen to her and forget the past; maybe start over and try and become her-No. He wouldn't let himself think that word when it came to her.

"I-I guess I'll see you in the morning?" Granger asked, frowning at something. Draco couldn't be sure what without asking and with his current dilema, he didn't want to ask.

"Yeah, whatever," he said coldly, turning on his heel and slamming the door to his bedroom shut behind him. He sighed and ran his hands over his face before yanking off his long sleeved shirt and holding his arm, staring at it. Granger had touched his arm-the mark-tenderly, as if she...as if she didn't care what it signified. As if it didn't disgust her or make her want to vomit; that's what it did to him, anyway. Draco released his arm as another wave of disgust washed over him. He walked toward his window and threw it open, half afraid that it would break again and Granger would barge into his room to fix it again. He didn't want her in his room again; it was so dark and she was so- "Shut the hell up," he muttered angrily, wishing his thoughts would just disappeare completely. All thoughts of Granger needed to stop. It would do him no good.

He shivered slightly as the cold washed over his bare skin, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep and he didn't know what else to do.


	13. Chapter 13

To most it had seemed like the first month of the school year had passed quickly, but to Hermione it had been the longest four weeks of her life. She was exhausted from a lack of sleep and the amount of homework. Harry and Ginny were annoying her now more than ever because of their ignorance and it physically hurt her now to be around Ron. She half wanted to make things right again with him but she was also afraid that things would only continue getting worse with Ron and then she would feel even more trapped than she did now. The worst part, Hermione thought, was the only person who seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention to what was going on with her was Draco Malfoy and Hermione knew he didn't actually care. He'd gotten even more distant with her over the past week, though occasionally he would hear Ron say something rude and he would say something. She missed her parents more and more each day, though all she could do was pester McGonagall about whether or not they'd been found. It had been months and they were still missing; she was beginning to get worried. Well, more worried than she had been in the past.

Every now and then students would come up to her, complaining about something or another. At the weekly meeting with the Delegates Hermione would explain what little she could actually remember; not sleeping messed with her memory. At least she had someone coming up to her though; every student in the school avoided Malfoy unless they were trying to pick a fight. She'd witnessed that plenty of times, though she didn't want to sound bossy so she always walked away. She told herself that if their situation had been reversed, he wouldn't defend her either. God knows he would probably join in just to make sure she knew he didn't like her all that much. At this point in time Ron would probably join in too, picking fun at her hair, her frown, and her breathing. He hated that she still did that; breathed. He hated that she was still speaking and that her heart was still beating in her chest too.

Hermione blinked and set her fork down; Harry, Ron, and Ginny had been in the middle of a heated yet playful argument about quidditch teams and she hadn't listened to a word they'd said. All she wanted to do was finish her dinner so she could go to bed; she'd been fighting to keep her eyes open all day. Yet they were staring at her expectantly and Ron was beginning to look irritated. "Don't tell me you've gone dumb, Hermione," he said, a smirk on his face that could rival Malfoy's. "Your brain was the only attractive thing about you,"

"Oh shut up you shitty excuse for a human being," Hermione nearly choked on a sip of water she'd taken at the sound of Malfoy's voice. So much for him not defending her all the time; she was almost sure she should have expected him to hear a comment like that.

Ron's ears quickly went red and Harry and Ginny tensed; another fight was sure to come if Malfoy didn't walk away. Hermione knew that no matter what happened she would be left feeling awful; the only thing she could think to do was rest her elbows on the table, her head in her hands, and her shoulders slumped. She desperately wanted Malfoy to walk away because she knew how much Ron would yell if he thought Hermione was even talking to him regularly. "Don't tell me you find her attractive, Malfoy," Ron sneered. Hermione wished, briefly, that Harry or Ginny would stop the impending argument in its tracks, though she knew that wouldn't happen.

"I never said I did," Malfoy muttered; Hermione knew that a smirk was growing on his face by his tone; he always smirked when he sounded like that. Faintly she could have sworn he'd said, "Though I never said I didn't either," but Hermione couldn't be sure. She went red anyway. "Plenty of people find her attractive though, Weasley. You should hear the way people talk about her. _Damn, Granger looked hot today_," he said mockingly. "_What I wouldn't do to get her in my_-"

Hermione was horrified at his words; no one actually said that, did they? But no one was as horrified as Ron. "You shut your mouth about her!" he yelled, standing up from his spot at the table.

"Why, so you can say worse things?" Malfoy challenged.

"I would never say anything that bad!"

"You've wished her dead you stupid-"

Hermione looked up in time to see Ron lunge across the table; she scrambled out of his way as he punched Malfoy in the nose. Malfoy swore loudly and shoved Ron away from him. Ron pulled his wand out of his pocket and directed it at Malfoy and for once Malfoy didn't look so confident. Ron wasn't that bad with spells and he'd improved a lot before the battle. Hermione took Ron's slight hesitation as an opportunity to whip out her own wand and shield Malfoy with a simple spell. So much for her not defending him either. "Will you two stop it!" Hermione said angrily, well aware that McGonagall was standing up and preparing to storm over and yell at the three of them. But Hermione wanted to get her words in too; she wanted them both to know how sick of their behavior she was.

"Are you defending that sick bas-"

"Shut up, Ronald," Hermione said angrily. She was far to tired to deal with their pettiness at the moment and while she knew Ron would be furious that she hadn't stood up for him, she didn't care. At all.

"No I will not shut up; you're supposed to be my girlfriend-"

"Am I really? With the way you're acting, I had no idea that we were even still together," she spat venomously, her eyes narrowing as she stared at his shocked eyes. A quick glance at Harry and Ginny told her all she needed to know; they were not going to be on her side for this fight. Their glares at her and Malfoy were already proof that they would side with Ron. "Quit acting like a two year old," She turned her back on Ron then looked at Malfoy, frowning slightly. His nose was bleeding and he was occasionally wiping his nose with the sleeve of his robes; at the same time he seemed to be avoiding her gaze to the best of his abilities. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly, wishing she didn't really care about the blood that was slowly making its way out of his nose.

Hermione barely heard Ron speak, but she did realize that he'd used a spell on her when she went flying over the Ravenclaw table and landed between the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs. There was a furious shout from Professor McGonagall and Hermione stared at the ceiling, feeling nothing but shock and a bit of pain coming from her arm. She was dazed and winded from being thrown onto her back, but all she could think of was that Ron had used a spell on her. Ron had gotten angry and hurt her, on purpose. After what seemed like an eternity, Hermione stood up, her eyes watering as she looked at the boy she was supposed to be in love with. And then she almost laughed.

Draco Malfoy looked absolutely furious and he had his wand pointed at Ron's throat. He was yelling and while he wasn't particularly angry that Hermione had been thrown, he was still angry. "Even I bloody well know not to hurt a woman, hell, apparently everyone knows that but you, you fu-" Hermione tuned Malfoy out for a moment. She knew what word he was going to use and she hated it; it was vile and, in her opinion, shouldn't have ever been invented. "-bet you get off on treating girls like they're nothing, you sick pig-" She stopped listening for another few seconds; she couldn't believe what Ron had just done and by the shocked expressions from the rest of the hall, they couldn't believe it either. Add in the fact that Malfoy was throwing an absolute fit and the rumors were bound to start flying by morning. "-an absolute disgrace of a human being," Malfoy finished, somehow with more anger than when he'd started.

McGonagall finally got to the two boys, but Malfoy completely ignored her furious words and made his way over to her. "Come on, Granger. Now, we're leaving," he instructed, pulling on her sleeve instead of her hand. Hermione knew he didn't want to touch her, but at the moment she was too busy staring at Harry and Ginny's angry glares to care. Her friends were glaring at her, not at Ron, yet she'd been the one to be thrown halfway across the room. Well, maybe not halfway, but close enough. Hermione couldn't even begin to understand why her friends were mad at her but she knew it would have something to do with her and Malfoy; they had to be furious that he'd stood up for her and she'd stood up for him in return.

Malfoy was half dragging her through the corridors and Hermione didn't think to ask where they were going; she was surprised enough that Malfoy was actually attempting to do something nice for her that she didn't speak. The walk felt like it took years because Hermione's mind was too busy replaying what had happened in the great hall to realize that they'd stopped by a painting of a bowl of fruit. Her mind was too busy trying to figure out how she would be able to stay with Ron to put up an kind of protest when Malfoy forced her into a small chair in the corner of the kitchens. She was too busy thinking to tell Malfoy that she absolutely hated coffee when he demanded it of a house elf. And when the hot cup was placed in her trembling hands, she was too busy wondering what in the hell was going on with Malfoy to make him stare at her so intently. "I swear, Granger, if you think this means anything-"

Hermione stood up suddenly, her hands trembling worse as she narrowed her eyes at Malfoy. He blinked in surprise and stared back at her, his lips slowly forming into a sneer. "Leave me the hell alone," she said angrily, suddenly feeling defensive. Ron was the one who had hurt her, yet she was pretty sure Malfoy was the one she was going to fight with. Hermione shoved the hot cup of coffee into his hands and it came dangerously close to splashing onto him. She knew she would feel bad if that happened, but since it hadn't she really didn't care. "I don't know what you thought you were doing, defending me up there or bringing me down here, but it was incredibly stupid,"

His jaw fell open and his eyes narrowed; he looked quite silly in her opinion, but she had no desire to make whatever was about ot happen worse by mentioning it. "What are you talking about? Didn't you hear what that prat was saying to you?"

"Of course I heard what he was saying-"

"Obviously you weren't listening very clearly, Granger-"

"I heard what he said," she protested angrily. "I hear it all the time from him and I don't need you to start-"

"If you didn't notice I was saying that he was wrong-"

"I don't give a damn what you were saying," Hermione said, frowning deeply. "Just because you've got some odd thing this year about making sure Ron's not incredibly rude doesn't mean I need _you_ calling him names or acting like you actually care about me,"

"I wasn't-"

Hermione laughed coldly and narrowed her eyes. "I don't need you lying to me, Malfoy. Did you honestly think you could say _I wasn't acting_ or whatever was coming to you mind and I wouldn't be able to see through you in a matter of two seconds?"

Malfoy was silent for a moment and he stared at her, his pale cheeks turning pink as his own eyes began to narrow. "Why I ever try to do _anything_ nice for _anyone_-"

"Oh, was this supposed to be nice? Getting into a fight with Ronald and then bringing me down here, telling me that if I thought your actions meant anything then I was going to be sadly mistaken?"

"Well what else did you expect, Granger? You hate me, why on earth would I want to try very hard with you?"

"I told you last week that I didn't hate you; if you think that then it's not my fault!"

"How the hell am I supposed to believe you, Granger? You've never done anything to-"

"Well I trusted that you wouldn't make a complete ass of yourself and you didn't give me any reason to think that either!"

"Oh, I made a complete ass of myself? Your bloody boyfriend was the one who punched me and he was the one who sent you flying across the room. What did I do? I told him that he was wrong-"

"You made him angrier than he already was!"

"That didn't give him the right to throw _you_ across the room, Granger!"

"As if you actually care!" Hermione yelled back, feeling desperate as she stared wildly around the room. The only thing that kept her from crying and screaming at Malfoy that he was right was the fact that she'd just locked eyes with a house elf with bright green eyes and was instantly looking at a dying Dobby. She blinked and saw Bellatrix Lestrange's cruel smile. Hermione whimpered loudly and pulled up her sleeve; she was sure an invisible person was carving into her arm and she swore there was blood again and all she wanted to do was scream. She looked at Malfoy, who was looking at her in confusion, because she was hoping that he would keep her grounded again. But that wasn't going to work. Because he was there, the night it happened. Draco Malfoy was there the night Hermione had almost lost her life to Bellatrix and staring at him only made her tremble in fear. She didn't know why, as she didn't blame him for that night at all, but logic wasn't coming to her at the moment.

"Granger what's-" Malfoy asked, his tone confused and without the anger it had held a few moments before. Faintly, Hermione began to hear Ron's screams for her, and she fought to ignore them. She couldn't pretend that Ron still cared about her like he had back then, not after the way he'd been treated her. Bellatrix's cold laugh rang in Hermione's ears as she looked around the room for the quickest exit. Malfoy was blocking her path, though she was sure she could shove past him if she used most of her strength. "Shit," Malfoy whispered, dropping the hot coffee on the ground and reaching out as if to grab her shoulders, but he stopped himself rather quickly.

Hermione almost wanted to agree with him. Yes, that was the perfect word to utter at that moment. She was about to have a full-fledged break down in front of Malfoy. She hadn't ever felt like this on the rare occasions that Harry, Ron, or Ginny was around for one of her hallucinations. Why did it have to happen around Malfoy, of all people? She'd rather be with Neville; he would at least try to comfort her and make her realize that none of it was real, that the battle was over, that pain wasn't filling her body because Bellatrix Lestrange was torturing her. But Malfoy? He seemed to be struggling with a lot of different things in that moment that Hermione couldn't think about. He wouldn't try to make her feel better, not at all, in fact despite his behavior on the matter in the past four weeks she was half sure he would laugh at her. "Please, I-" she managed as the fake Bellatrix came to stand right at Malfoy's shoulder with her wand raised. And in a weak voice Hermione whispered words that she hadn't heard herself say for months. "_I didn't take anything, please,_"


	14. Chapter 14

Draco nearly let loose a string of curse words as he heard the words that had haunted him every night for months. Why now, of all times, did Granger have to slip out of her habit of battle flashbacks and go to the night from the entire war that Draco felt the most guilt over? Why did she have to look so bloody scared all of the sudden and why did he have the strong desire to grip her shoulders and shake her until she saw sense again? More than that, why did he want to make sure she would stop with her bloody pathetic whimpers and fearful gaze? They were annoying, that was it. He hated seeing anyone who he knew was strong falling apart, that was half of why he avoided his mother in the weeks before he returned to Hogwarts. He hadn't wanted to spend much time around the woman who had been fighting for so long to keep her family together and now that she'd started failing, she was absolutely miserable to be around.

It took him a few seconds to realize that Granger was trying to get around him and her eyes kept flickering toward the space to his left. "Someone!" he shouted, just for a second looking at some of the stunned house elves behind them. He moved to block Granger's path, feeling guilt wash over him as she fought against him. "Get someone, now,"

He swore loudly now, hearing cracks as a few house elves disappeared to unknown parts of the castle. "Get off, get off please-Please don't-"

"Granger, shut up," Draco instructed angrily. She looked desperate, like she was going to crack in a matter of seconds and it was freaking him out. Granger didn't crack; Granger was the strongest out of her friends and they always depended on her to stay strong. There was no way she could be so tormented by what had happened that-Well, Draco was tormented and nothing had happened to him like what had happened to her. So he could understand it, ever so slightly, but still Granger was stronger than he was. Wasn't she?

"Granger shut up!" Draco yelled as the door to the kitchens was thrown open. Draco had never been more thankful for house elves and how quickly they did as told. And even though he didn't like it, he was sure he was about to see Potter and Weasley run into view. Maybe they didn't act like it but they cared about Granger more than they cared about themselves; he'd seen that in action before. They would come, force Draco out of the kitchens and he would be able to go back to his room in peace. A small hand tugged on his robes though and Draco looked down, momentarily, to see a house elf tugging on his robes.

"We tried to get Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley to come down for Miss Granger, but they didn't, Sir, they said no-"

"They said what?" Draco asked furiously, knowing that if he had his way to two idiots would be dead by morning. It was obvious that something bad was happening to Granger if they'd been sent for but they were too angry about some stupid comments to come and care for her. Granger needed to get some better friends, he realized, though he wasn't sure if she really knew how. She'd been stuck with the two Gryffindors for so long that others wouldn't approach her and Granger definitely wasn't seeking out new friends.

The house elf flinched and took a few small steps backwards but with Draco being distracted, Granger was finally able to slip past him. He swore again and shoved the house elf out of the way rather rudely and took after her. It would only make matters worse, chasing after her through the corridors until they reached wherever she was going, but he didn't care. Granger needed someone and if Potter and Weasley were too rude to be there for her, well, then, maybe she wouldn't like it but she needed someone. And if that damn person had to be him, well, he wouldn't be happy about it but he couldn't just let her crumble while he watched. In the past he would have laughed, he would have been overjoyed to see Granger knocked down a peg, but what was happening with her at the moment was his fault. All his fault... _You broke Granger, you let this happen_ he told himself sternly.

He passed a rather confused looking Loony Lovegood but he didn't care if she was the one the house elves had found; she was of no use to him now because now Granger was sprinting and he needed to follow her. "What-" the sixth year asked in confusion before Draco was out of earshot. He didn't think about stopping to explain; Lovegood was none of his concern.

He followed Granger through the corridors, passing plenty of students as they got to the main floor, but neither stopped. Draco knew just how oddly people were looking at him and he knew from the looks on their faces that they wanted to tackle him to get him to stop chasing after Granger. But it wasn't like he wanted to be there; it wasn't like he desperately wanted to spend his night with Granger of all people. A few moments after getting past the great hall, Draco caught up to her and grabbed her arm to make her stop. "Granger, calm down-"

She screamed and Draco swore again. He hated doing it, but he clapped a hand over her mouth and pulled her into an empty side corridor. "Calm down, stop screaming-Damn it, Granger, did you just _bite_ me?" he asked, pulling his hand away and examining it. And then Granger blinked. She slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, shaking slightly. Draco stared at her, still irritated but not enough to mention it. It had to have been a moment of pure desperation for her to do that because he'd never really seen Granger do something like that before. He hesitated for a long time as he watched Granger sit on the floor, shaking, before he knelt down and awkwardly grabbed her arm. "Stop-Stop shaking or whatever, Granger. You're fine," he said, sounding harsher than he intended to.

Granger nodded numbly but her shaking continued; Draco sighed heavily. This was why she needed Potter and Weasley; he had absolutely no idea how to deal with Granger when she was like this. He couldn't insult her, which was what he would normally do; no, that would be cruel because what had scared her so much was something Draco could have stopped. Sure he would have died in the process because his aunt would have killed him, but then he wouldn't be watching Granger suffer. He didn't want to watch Granger suffer; she didn't deserve it. "Granger, calm down, please," he said, hating that he was begging her for something. "Look, if you'll stop shaking I-"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

_I'm sorry._ The words rang in Draco's mind as he'd never really said them before. Well, he had but most of the time he didn't mean it. Why mean it if no one would accept his words? But here she was, apologizing, when she didn't need to be. Draco was definitely irritated with her but he was angrier with Potter, Weasley, and himself. If he'd just ignored Weasley's idiotic words and Granger's expression then he would have been fine. He wouldn't have made a fool of himself and he definitely wouldn't have ended up chasing after Granger. But that was his fault, not hers, so why should she be sorry? Draco released her arm as he'd only just realized that he was still holding it, and he frowned. "Don't be," he said, his voice harsher than he'd intended.

"No, no I shouldn't have yelled, that's why it started, that's why I-You-"

"Spit it out Granger, I know you can," So apparently he was going with harsh; apparently he was going to make a complete ass of himself just like Granger said.

And then she said another two words that Draco rarely said. "Thank you,"

"For what, exactly?"

"I-Look, I don't know. But thank you, okay?"

Draco could only stare as she stood, every part of her still shaky and her eyes still afraid, and she walked away. What the actual hell had just happened? "Damn it Granger," Draco muttered, scowling at the ceiling as he stood up. She just had to go and make him-Well, no, actually. Granger hadn't made him do anything. But then why had he done it?

Being alone, Draco realized as he walked to the common room, was a lot harder than he'd imagined. In the past he'd been able to discuss his questionable actions with the most reasonable of his friends, Blaise, but they hadn't talked in months. In fact from the end of the war to the start of the school year, Draco hadn't talked to anyone his own age in an effort to cut ties with everyone he knew. But in that moment Draco wanted nothing more than to send an owl and let Blaise explain to him why he'd defended Granger. There was nothing logical about his actions; he could barely even tolerate her so why would he want to help her? He didn't really even want to help her but before he could even think he'd opened his mouth. The bloody thing was bound to get him in trouble some day, but there wasn't a thing he could do about that. He had little self control when it came to his mouth. He had little self control in general; it was all he could do not to hunt down Potter and Weasley and murder the two prats.

Draco got to the common room and frowned; Granger wasn't there. Without thinking of the consequences he went and pressed his ear to her door. He heard nothing though, and his frown only deepened. She must have gone to apologize to Weasley and Potter. The thought had him nearly shaking in anger so he hurried to the bathroom to clean up the mess that was his nose. And when that was finished he all but ran into his bedroom and locked the door. If he saw Granger before his anger wore off, they'd have the fight of the century. She had to be going to apologize to Weasley and-and thinking about it would only make him angrier. And that was something he definitely did not need.

Draco changed out of his school robes and into pajamas before opening his windows and climbing into bed. His anger made him hot and furious and only the cool air of the early October night could cool him down. It took three hours of confused, angry thoughts about Granger, Weasley, and his actions before he finally fell asleep. Though he could have sworn he had heard a faint scream before his eyes finally closed.

Though maybe sleep was just a wish that was far outside of his reach that night. He spent nearly four hours tossing and turning and when he looked at his clock and saw that it was only three in the morning, he was absolutely pissed. Not only was he still incredibly irritated with Granger but he'd only gotten four worthless hours of sleep that left him even more tired that when he started, and he knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Not wanting to say it was his own mind that hadn't allowed for any sleep, he decided to blame it on Weasley and let his hatred of the other boy grow. And with at least that one pleasing thought, Draco walked into the common room.

He nearly let loose another string of curse words.

What the _hell_ was Granger doing awake at three in the morning? What was she doing reading that bloody book of hers as if it were better than sleeping? And why on earth did she have to let him see her? His irritation was quickly slipping away to full-blown outrage. "How did your apology to Weasley go?" he asked, his voice heavy with anger.

"My what?" Granger asked, turning around to look at him with wide, nervous eyes.

Draco rolled his eyes before smirking at her. "Dumb never did look good on you, Granger," he stated, feeling bad as he spoke. She didn't need him being rude to her, but at that moment he was too angry to actually care to shut his mouth. He was right; the stupid thing was about to get him in more trouble than he wanted.

After a nasty comment like that he expected her to yell at him; he expected her to tell him that he was exactly like Weasley. But all she could do was frown and shake her head. "I didn't apologize to Ron,"

"Sure you didn't," Draco said, rolling his eyes again. "You're so desperate for that idiotic relationship to work that you'd do anything,"

"I don't need you telling me what's-"

"And I don't need you lying to me,"

"I'm not,"

"Then where were you when I came back?"

"That's not any of your concern-"

"So with Weasley then. Or you were sneaking around with someone else?"

"_What?_"

"I bet it was Potter, though I never imagined him to be much of a cheater... Oh please tell me it wasn't Longbottom," Yes. He was definitely being an ass. Too bad he couldn't stop now; he'd gone too far and Granger looked absolutely furious.

"I would never-"

"Then why don't you tell me where-"

"I was in my room! Sleeping!"

"See if you'd just led with that-"

"You're absolutely terrible,"

"I've heard. At least you weren't apologizing,"

"And why is it such a big deal if I do?"

"Weasley doesn't deserve an apology," Draco said. He wanted to tell her that Potter and Weasley didn't come when it was obvious that she need help. But that stupid little piece of his mind was telling him that Granger didn't need to hear that; it would hurt her too badly and Draco wasn't exactly evil. At least he didn't want to be. "No one who acts like he does deserves and apology,"

"So I shouldn't have apologized to you earlier?"

And there they were, the words Draco had been waiting for. "If you'll remember, I've never thrown you across the room," Draco muttered, folding his arms across his chest and narrowing his eyes. He'd expected it, yes, but he was _nothing_ like Weasley. Weasley was beyond terrible this year and Draco was at least getting to be bearable. Or at least he thought he was. "And no, you shouldn't have,"

Silence fell over the common room as Granger stared at him with hard eyes. Minutes passed and Draco could feel himself growing more and more tired. Those four hours would do nothing for him; he needed to get more sleep. "I don't want to fight with you," Granger said quietly, tearing her eyes away from him and shaking her head slightly. "I can't handle that this year, Malfoy. Not anymore. Can't we at least be civil?"

He gave a noncomittal shrug and took a step toward his room. He'd be damned if he didn't at least try to get some sleep, even though he knew what the outcome would be. More tossing and turning didn't sound nice but at least he'd be trying. He shut his door to the sound of Granger sighing and sneezing.


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione had absolutely no desire to see or speak to Ron, Harry, or Ginny even six days after Ron had used a spell on her. Ron wasn't trying to speak to her either and Ginny, much to Hermione's surprise, had stated that she wanted nothing to do with the fight and wouldn't speak to either of them until it was over. Harry was the only one actually trying to talk to her and while she knew he felt bad, she wanted nothing to do with him. Avoiding Harry was incredibly simple. All she had to do was approach Malfoy and he would stay away. They'd worked together silently in Potions twice already and the stunned look on Malfoy's face as she'd approached him was definitely worth Ron's cold glares and Harry's confused stares. Hermione had no idea why Malfoy hadn't simply told her no, but it worked for her. Yes she was using him, in a way, but she was far too angry with her friends to really care.

Sick was another thing she was. Hermione, for the first time since knowing she was a witch, was sick. It had started that same awful night that left her unwilling to speak to her friends; she'd sneezed a few times and thought nothing of it. Until it hadn't stopped. She was taking some muggle medicine that she'd brought with her to help with the headaches not sleeping caused, but that was going to be gone soon and she didn't have her parents to send her more. She'd brewed a couple of potions that had worked for a while but not well. Hermione knew that Madam Pomfrey would be able to give her something better, something that Hermione didn't have the patience to brew, but that would mean explaining what was wrong and she didn't want to do that. She'd probably accidentally tell her that she got next to no sleep. Ron hadn't seemed to notice that she was sick or if he had he didn't show it, but Harry had. He'd tried asking about her sniffling and flushed cheeks, though she'd successfully kept silent and glared at him until he walked away with his shoulders hunched.

Other than her annoying cold-it was simply lasting longer, she knew it was nothing serious-Malfoy was being quieter. He'd seemed to accept her _Can't we at least be civil?_ because he'd gone back to only saying 'hello' or 'good night' instead of, well, he'd never really said much to her before, but at least it was limited now. Sometimes she was almost sure that he wanted to say something to her, and probably nothing good, but he never did. The only people that Hermione really spoke to now were the concerned students who wanted her to pass on a message to McGonagall or the other delegates-that meeting was tonight. She would see if anything she'd been told would actually be remembered. At first she'd been pleased, because she didn't have to have uncomfortable conversations, but it was becoming a curse. All she could do was think about her parents, what she would do with Ron, and how it was getting harder each day not to pass out from exhaustion. It was going to happen if nothing got better and Hermione knew it was becoming a serious problem, but she was too stubborn to explain the situation to anyone else. No one would be able to understand that she was stuck in the pit of her own personal hell; her friends had never been in her position so she knew they would never understand.

Hermione sneezed for what had to be the twentieth time since her Charms lesson had started. She absolutely hated being sick and she was beginning to feel tired again. Her decision to skip lunch came rather quickly after that; a cold shower would do her good, as it would wake her up a little more and might get her to stop feeling so clammy. Now was the time when Hermione really wanted to write to her mother and ask for suggestions on what to do, or really just be able to talk about the mess her head had become, but that wasn't going to happen until they were found. And they had to be found, as they hadn't just decided to disappear from the face of the earth.

Charms ended with Professor Flitwick's small chuckle and Hermione sighed heavily; she was definitely going to need to take more medicine for her head. She was almost certain the damn thing would crack open, it was hurting so bad. With her bag slung over her shoulder, she was definitely ready to head back to the common room. The day wasn't even half over yet and all she wanted was to climb into bed. Hermione walked quickly out of the classroom and began to hurry to the common room. She was halfway there when there was a tug on her arm. Hermione groaned and turned around, her eyes narrowing slightly even though that made her head hurt more. "What do you want, Harry?" she asked, wishing she could just run to find Malfoy so she didn't have to talk to Harry.

"I want to talk-Don't look around for Malfoy like that, I saw him walking to the great hall earlier," Harry said, frowning before a hurt look came over his face. "You don't really have much of a choice; I'm not letting you avoid me anymore,"

"I'm not avoiding you," Hermione lied weakly; she knew that Harry would be able to see through her if he tried, but as of late he hadn't been doing much of that.

"If you weren't then you wouldn't go running off the Malfoy every time I try to talk to you. What's with that anyway? Are you two like..." he trailed off, his frown deepening. "You're not friends with him or anything, are you? Because I don't really know how I feel about that," It took every ounce of her self control not to start screaming right then. What did he mean _I don't know how I feel about that_? If he thought he was going to control who she spent time with, he would be sadly mistaken. "And I know Ron wouldn't be very comfortable with it either,"

"I don't care about what Ron would or wouldn't be comfortable with,"

"Well, I just know that I wouldn't be too happy if Ginny started hanging around guys that we both hate, so-"

"Thing is, I don't hate Malfoy. He's, well, I don't have to explain that. Maybe you would have noticed that had you been paying any attention,"

Harry looked slightly disturbed by her words but he shook his head as if that would make the thoughts go away. "Okay, whatever. I didn't come here to talk about Malfoy-"

"Great, because I don't really want to talk about him either," He smiled slightly at her words and released her arm, and Hermione frowned deeply. "So if that's all-"

"Hermione, come on. I just want to talk. Can you please just listen to me?"

Hermione looked at her small watch and frowned; he had to hurry if she wanted to have enough time for her cold shower. She didn't want to talk about anything with him, but he was her best friend. Unfortunately she was loyal to him too, even if he seemed to care more about Ron. "You have until we get back to my common room. There's something I have to do and I don't want to waste a bunch of time,"

It looked like he was about to protest, but Harry shrugged instead. "I guess I better talk fast then,"

"You might want to,"

Hermione started walking, going a little slower than normal because she knew Harry wasn't always best with expressing things. He'd be lucky if he got out half of what he wanted to say before they got to her common room. "So the thing is, Hermione... Well I just..." Hermione smiled slightly; apparently she still knew him even if he didn't know much about her anymore. "Okay this feels weird, you know?"

"Yes," Hermione said, nodding slightly. "You know we don't have to do this now-"

"No, we do. That's just you trying to get out of it," he said. Hermione didn't bother to try and lie to him; he would know. "I wanted to apologize, for what happened the other day. Ron's sorry too-"

"If Ron was sorry he would say it himself,"

"He's too proud to do it, just like you,"

Hermione stopped immediately and raised an eyebrow. "Please explain to me what, exactly, I have to apologize for?"

Harry's face paled slightly and he frowned at her. "Hermione, I was just saying that, well, maybe... Okay, don't bite my head off?"

"I make no promises," she said angrily, folding her arms across her chest.

"It's just that you stood up for Malfoy, not Ron, and that really hurt his feelings-"

"Oh that hurt his feelings?" Hermione asked coldly, her eyes narrowing as the pounding in her head worsened. "Why don't you ask him how getting thrown across the great hall feels and then let me know what he says?"

"Well Ron didn't mean to do that-"

"He didn't-How could you say that to me? How on earth could you say that to me, Harry?"

"Hermione-"

"Ron knew exactly what he was doing when he pulled his wand, so don't you dare tell me-"

"Well someone's got to defend him! He wouldn't really try to-"

"He did! How are you even able to say that he wouldn't when he did?"

"Hermione, I know Ron-"

"And I thought I did,"

"You do, I promise. He felt bad, well, at least he said he did when I asked him..."

"I don't care if Ron felt bad. Try imagining how I feel, Harry! Maybe then you'd understand why I'm avoiding you both,"

"But you don't need me to worry about you; Ron's not been doing well after the battle and losing Fred-"

Hermione scoffed; even though she knew that Ron was still greatly affected by Fred's death, _she_ had problems too. "Ron's not been doing well?" she asked, a sarcastic tone to her voice that she was sure would have made Malfoy smirk. But she couldn't think about Malfoy in that moment; he would distract her from her anger and she didn't want that to happen. Hermione coughed harshly before looking at Harry again. "Not that you've noticed, but I've been having a hell of a time dealing with the battle too, Harry. Not everyone has it as easy as you,"

"What are you talking about? You're fine, I know you are. You're Hermione-"

"I'm well aware of who I am," she said angrily, frowning even more as she sneezed again. "And contrary to popular belief, I am _not_ fine,"

"But I-I mean I assumed-" Hermione began walking away, feeling tears stinging the backs of her eyes. Of course it was all just a misunderstanding; Harry did care he just thought that she was fine. And while it bothered her that he picked up on none of the obvious signs that she wasn't, all she could focus on was the fact that he cared. That mixed in with being tired and sick brought her close to tears though she hated crying so she wiped her eyes angrily. "Hermione wait-"

"Leave me alone, Harry,"

"But I'm sorry-"

"I understand that but that doesn't mean I'm not angry,"

"But I-"

"Harry I swear if you don't leave me alone-"

"Can't you just listen to me?" he said, his voice raising.

"Oh I'm sure you'd rather go listen to Ron!"

"Hermione!"

"What?" she snapped. Harry opened his mouth to speak but that was the moment that they reached the common room. "Oh, looks like we're out of time," she said sarcastically, feigning sadness and frowning at him. "As if-"

"Hermione, I'm sorry-please, can't we just get past this?"

She didn't answer, she simply slammed the common room door in his face and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples and frowning. Her head was feeling horrible after raising her voice and arguing with Harry. She was beginning to feel nauseous as well, so not going to lunch was definitely going to be a good thing. She was half sure that she would get sicker if she did and that wasn't something she wanted.

Hermione's shower lasted a long time, as she kept hoping that the cold water would wake her up more, but it didn't do that. And she wasn't able to stop thinking about arguing with Harry long enough to remember that she wanted to take more medicine for her head. She didn't realize until she was halfway to her Arithmancy class that her head was beginnng to hurt again and she groaned quietly, but at least she was going to a class where the person next to her wouldn't try to talk to her. That was only if Malfoy would sit by her again, though he'd never tried to sit by anyone else.

He was already in his seat when she got to class, her hair still slightly damp but it didn't bother her much. She sneezed again as she sat down and Malfoy glanced at her. He frowned but shook his head and Hermione was tempted to ask what he was thinking, but she kept quiet. Speaking would do her no good now.


	16. Chapter 16

Granger sat down beside him and for a moment Draco almost looked up to greet her. He quickly decided against it though; Granger wanted them to be civil and Draco was sure he'd end up saying something rude if he spoke at all. He wasn't the nicest person in the world and he never would be; the list of things that he would need to improve for that to happen was the longest thing in the world. He only looked up when she sneezed and-Granger looked like hell. Draco was almost sure that she looked like she'd been hit by a car or a couple of Cruciatus Curses. He'd seen her after the-No, he refused to think about that now. He'd done enough thinking about Granger being tortured in front of him during the past week, ever since she'd had that flashback, and it was driving him crazy. At night he was sure he could hear her screaming like she had that day and half the time it kept him awake. It was awful. He needed to get away from her if he wanted his life to go back to a semi-normal state.

But the pale color of her skin, excluding the redness of her cheeks and nose, the way her eyes seemed heavy and had bags under them, the way the corners of her lips seemed to constantly tilt down had him wondering what on earth was going on with her. It wasn't the Granger he had known from previous years and he was curious more than anything else. He wanted to know, for some reason, what had happened to make her change so drastically. She'd always been the same know-it-all book lover that he'd always found irritating but not bad enough to hate. And he didn't hate her now, not really, even though he was still wary of her. Draco contemplated telling her that she should go to the hospital wing as she sneezed again, but he didn't. His frown deepened and his mind began to race, trying to find a good way to offhandedly make her feel better. He cursed himself for wanting to do that, but it appeared she'd gone through hell. She hadn't actually, Draco knew, but something that effected her that much was enough to make him take notice. Taking notice of Hermione Granger was something he never thought would happen more than once in a week.

The lesson began and Draco glanced at Granger again; her eyes were half closed and she looked like she was about to fall asleep. Which wouldn't surprise him; he'd finally reached getting up a few minutes before five and she was still up then too. It seemed that she reads more than she sleeps, which Draco couldn't understand wanting to do, but it was her life. He refused to express his concern-No, not concern, curiosity. He didn't care about what was happening with Granger, he was curious. It had to be only curiosity.

Draco was pulled out of his, in his opinion, disturbing thoughts by the sound of Professor Vector asking Granger a question. She didn't respond and Professor Vector frowned and began approaching their desk. "Granger," Draco said, elbowing her. She blinked and sneezed, looking rather confused as her eyes narrowed at him.

"What?" she asked, her tone slightly angry and wary.

"You just completely ignored Vector-"

"Quiet, Mr. Malfoy," Vector said, frowning at him before turning her attention to Granger. "Are you feeling all right?"

Granger nodded even though it was obvious to everyone in the room that she wasn't. "Of course, Professor, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all,"

"Well try getting a little more sleep, Miss Granger. Now, let's try that question again..."

Draco stared at Professor Vector in disbelief as she walked back to the front of the room; something was wrong with Granger and it obviously wasn't just being tired. He had no idea why Vector had just accepted such an obvious lie when she was one of the smartest professors in the school. They moved on after Granger gave a correct answer though, and now Draco couldn't help but stare at her. "What the hell is going on with you?" he whispered, frowning at her.

"Nothing," she said, keeping her eyes on her textbook. "Please be quiet,"

"Granger-"

"Please," she said again, glancing at him.

Draco frowned and turned his attention back to the front of the class, though he didn't really care to pay attention after that. He was thinking, his mind going about a million miles per hour as he thought about Granger. He absolutely despised thinking about her because she confused him more than anything else, but he couldn't stop his mind. He'd have to convince her to talk to him so he could figure her out. That's what he needed to do; figure her out so he could stop thinking about her so much. It wasn't something Draco was incredibly happy about doing it but if it got him to stop thinking about her then it was worth a shot.

The class ended rather quickly after Draco's decision, which he was pleased about. There was just one more class in his day and he was ready to be done. Granted there was still the Delegate meeting with McGonagall that night, but that wouldn't take too long. Mostly Abbott and Boot talked while he and Granger sat and listened, but so far no one had gotten upset with their lack of participation. McGonagall didn't seem thrilled, but no words had been spoken. Until she demanded more of him, he wouldn't speak in those stupid meetings. He hurried to Transfiguration, not really wanting to see McGonagall but knowing that she would be furious if he didn't show up to class and he would end up hearing about it later.

Transfiguration was definitely more boring than Arithmancy had been that day and while Draco didn't like it, he was sure it was because Granger wasn't there for him to watch every few minutes. Trying to understand what was happening with her was more entertaining that taking notes in McGonagall's class. He respected the older witch, definitely, and she was a good teacher but he had no desire to deal with classes.

But then that one ended too and Draco had nothing better to do than go back to the common room before dinner and the meeting. He might start on one of his assignments, but that would require effort and that wasn't something Draco was willing to give at that moment. He was, however, ready to settle into his chair and spend a few quite hours reading. Or maybe writing a letter to his mother; he'd promised to do that but he hadn't yet. He didn't know what to say; most of what had happened this year had to do with Granger and if his father ever saw that letter, he would be absolutely furious.

He entered the common room and frowned; Granger was sitting on the left side of the sofa as usual, reading her book that Draco was beginning to hate. "This is not happening, Granger. I won't let it," he said angrily, frowning at her and watching her look at him in surprise.

"Malfoy, what are you-"

"I'm not going to let you sit on that stupid sofa anymore, reading your damn books-"

"You don't have any control over my life," Granger said angrily, closing her book and narrowing her eyes at him. "We're not friends or anything like that; you have no right-"

Draco narrowed his eyes too and his frown deepened. "I don't care what we're not, Granger. You look like death, and I can't-I mean I won't let... Just go to bed, Granger!"

"It's not even four-"

"I don't give a damn what time it is," he said, anger beginning to grow in his head. She wasn't listening and she wasn't taking care of herself; if she didn't someone had to. "Just do it, Granger,"

"Why do you even care?"

"I don't-"

"That's not what it seems like," she stated, frowning at him.

He could only stare at her, wondering why it felt like she was right. Did he care? Did he want her to be okay? No, that definitely wasn't it. He just didn't want to be blamed if something happened to her, as he knew Weasley and Potter would find some way to make it his fault. "Well I don't, okay? I don't. Just drop it, Granger,"

"Well I'm not-" she stopped, coughed for a few seconds, and frowned back at him. "I'm not going to bed, Malfoy. That's a ridiculous request,"

"Come on, Granger, you know you want to-"

"Is this about getting me out of the common room? So you don't have to be around me?"

"What?"

"You don't want to be around me because I'm muggleborn. Or a Gryffindor. Right? That's it, isn't it?"

Draco stared again. It was all he could do not to scream at her about how wrong she was, but screaming wouldn't help either of them. "I don't care about what you are, Granger. I haven't cared for months. If I want you out of the common room at all it's because I don't want to spend my time with someone who looks like they could fall apart any second!"

"I do not look like-" she protested.

"Take a look in the mirror, Granger!" he shouted, storming past her and into his own room. That was why he didn't want to spend any time with her; despite what she might say she still thought of him as the same person he'd been before the battle. He wasn't that person, if he was he wouldn't have bothered telling her to do something that he thought would do her some good. If he was still that person then he wouldn't have tried to defend her when Weasley was making an ass of himself. But even though he was a different person, or at least he was trying to be, he hadn't bothered to take notice of anyone but Granger. Why he didn't understand, but thinking about it would only make him go crazy. Again he wanted to write to Blaise, but he had no idea what he would say. He was tempted to write to his mother, but he could say something wrong and end up revealing that he was thinking about Granger.

He spent the next few hours fuming and attempting to read from his textbook, though it was slow. He hated that Granger thought he was still incredibly prejudiced; he still was, in a way, but not as much toward blood. He wanted, more than anything, to prove her wrong but the only way he could do that was to make her think that they were friends. And that was something he refused to do. Whether it was becoming friends or tricking her that he had a problem with, it wasn't going to happen. And that was the end of his thoughts on that. He'd have to find a different way; if he did small things that made her think differently of him that would work. At least he thought it would.

He went to dinner and was pleased when he didn't see Granger there; maybe she had actually gone to bed at his request, though he was half sure she was probably just in the library. He didn't know Granger well, but he did know that she loved that place.

He didn't really know why dinner went so quickly or why he was already on his way to the meeting, but all he could think of was that at least the day was almost over. Draco didn't want to deal with Boot, Abbott, or Granger because he was annoyed with them all. He got to McGonagall's office and saw that the other three were already there and Granger looked just as awful as she had the last time he'd seen her. She'd definitely been in the library. "Good evening, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said, nodding at him as he took his seat next to Granger. At that moment he would have rather sat by Boot, as he could feel Granger looking at him, but he refused to meet her gaze. He refused to say a word to her too. Maybe it was childish, but staying silent and not looking at her made him feel slightly better.

"Malfoy," Granger whispered as Abbott began talking excitedly-She wanted a dance, something like the Yule Ball. That had been awful enough; they didn't need something like that now. McGonagall didn't look to keen on the idea either, nor did Boot, but no one was willing to shoot her down. It wouldn't happen, Draco knew, though it wasn't pleasant to listen to. And since he was trying to block out Granger, that was all he had to listen to. "Malfoy come on, can't you just look at me?" He still refused to respond, remaining incredibly childish, but he didn't care that much. "You're being an idiot," Granger muttered.

Draco was tempted to shrug and tell her that he didn't care, but he was too busy staring at McGonagall with wide eyes. "And it might help boost the morale of the castle," she was saying, nodding slightly. "If you give me some time I'll think about it and get you an answer by next week," He could only hope that it was just McGonagall trying to be nice. He couldn't imagine people wanting to go to that. If, on the off chance it did happen, Draco knew there would be no way he would go.

For another half of an hour Draco sat and listened to ideas that he disagreed with; there was only one on his mind and there was no way he would say that idea in front of everyone else. So when McGonagall asked for his input, he simply shrugged and said he had none. McGonagall had sighed then and dismissed them. Boot and Abbott had walked out together, chatting about something Draco didn't care about, and Granger had hesitated before she'd followed them. "Mr. Malfoy, the meeting is-"

"Over, yeah, I got that," he said harshly, standing up and frowning. "I think you should get help for those who haven't dealt with the war well. And make sure that Weasley goes," he said quickly before turning and walking away. McGonagall asked him to stop, but Draco kept going.

He wished, when he got back to the corridor, that he would have stayed behind. "We need to talk," Granger said, her arms folded. She lost the tough look she'd worn when she sneezed again, and Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, Malfoy. I owe you-"

"Nothing, Granger. You owe me nothing, so just leave me alone," he said, his eyes narrowed. He didn't understand why she would have waited for him, even if it was only for a minute, but he didn't want to think about that.

"No, I owe you an apology," she said, frowning. "I shouldn't have accused you of-"

"Granger I don't care what you accused me of," he said, well aware that he was lying.

"You don't?"

Draco was tempted to smirk; maybe she wasn't as brilliant as everyone thought she was. "No, I don't. Just drop it, okay?"

"Well I'm still sorry. I'd really just like for this year to go smoothly, Malfoy. I'd like for us to get along, maybe,"

"I think that's a bit of a long shot," he muttered.

"But we could try, couldn't we? I mean you've already been kind of nice, standing up to Ron when you didn't have to. I could do that for you when all those people try to talk about how you used to be a Death Eater,"

Draco frowned; he didn't know that Granger had discovered that was happening. "You know about that?"

"I've noticed, yes. But we could just work this out, right? Make the year better for both of us?"

He considered it. Strongly, for a moment, he considered shoving her attempt at peace in her face. He didn't need Granger, he didn't need someone who could so easily make him feel awful on his side. But the slightly pleading look on her face and the way she wore that stupid half smile didn't make him want to upset her. "I don't... I guess it doesn't really... Do whatever you want to do, Granger, and I'll just...Well..." he hated not having the perfect response to give her, but he hadn't expected that. He'd expected her to throw something else in his face, not try to make peace. Maybe that was something he needed to do; if he was at peace with Granger then maybe he wouldn't feel as guilty as to what had happened with her at his home.

"I'll take that for a yes," Granger said quietly, nodding slightly. "We'll just keep the peace, okay? Nothing more, nothing less. Deal?"

"I guess," he said, shrugging. Draco didn't wait for her to say anything else; he wasn't sure what to make of the sudden agreement so he hurried to the common room and into his bedroom. Thinking about the deal was unwanted but he couldn't stop either, and thinking in private was a lot easier.

It took a few hours for him to realize that he was slightly okay with the idea, and by that time it was just past midnight and he was ready to get some sleep. He finally changed out of his school robes and into his pajamas, laying down in bed. It was actually decent in his room and he knew that he would get a good night's rest. He was seconds away from closing his eyes when he heard a quiet, muffled scream. Had he been thinking or sleeping he was sure he wouldn't have heard it, but he had. And it took him a moment to realize that he knew that scream.

Draco nearly jumped off his bed and hurried out of his room. He stared at Granger's door, wondering if he should knock and ask if she was all right, if she'd had another flashback, even though that would make it seem like he cared. Maybe he did, a little, he didn't know. But then her door opened and out she came, book in hand and a blanket draped over her arm. She looked shaken and tired and still sick, which made him scowl. "Granger?"

"_Malfoy?_"


	17. Chapter 17

Hermione could do nothing but stare at Malfoy as he stared at her. He was quite obviously trying to keep his expression uncaring, but Hermione had seen the subtle changes in it that helped her understand a little of what he was thinking. She'd been able to see his surprise, his confusion, his irritation, but the last change had left Hermione clueless. His expression was something that almost resembled concern, but she knew he wouldn't be concerned about her. Maybe she told him that he cared every now and then, when he acted like he did, but she knew that was just to irritate him. The silence grew heavy as they just kept staring at one another, Hermione with her book clutched tightly to her chest and Malfoy with his arms folded. The silence was uncomfortable though, so Hermione shifted her weight and ended up sneezing. "What are you doing awake, Malfoy?" she asked, slightly curious.

He just kept staring and Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She hated his gaze; it was intense and penetrating and she knew that her gaze would never be the same. It was another few minutes filled with Hermione's quiet coughing and sneezing. And he just _stared_ at her. Until finally, he asked, "Why did you scream?"

Hermione frowned; in a way it was an answer to her question but it definitely wasn't one she liked. "You heard that?" she asked. Her spells to keep sound from escaping her room seemed to have worn off quicker than she thought they would.

"Barely. But I did. And I know it was you, so don't try saying that it wasn't,"

"Well I'm sorry. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again,"

More silence followed her words and Malfoy's frown deepened. "Granger," he said quietly, as if he were afraid of waking up Terry and Hannah. "Why did you scream?"

She didn't want to explain to him her reason, not at all. No one knew about how little she slept or the nightmares she had each night, and that was for a reason. While she sometimes thought of what would happen if Harry or Ron found out, she knew she wouldn't tell them. And Malfoy, well, she wasn't sure if he would keep the secret. "No reason," she lied uneasily.

Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "Right. you just felt like screaming in the middle of the night," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "As if I'm actually going to believe that. I want the truth, Granger, now, and I want to know why I haven't really heard you before,"

Hermione hated, in that moment, that Malfoy was smart. If he wasn't then there could have been a chance that he would have just accepted her excuse. "Well it-" she paused and frowned, knowing that she had two options. Tell the truth or lie like a mad woman to make sure no one found out about her problems. She felt pathetic, in a way, and she definitely didn't want Malfoy to find out about that. "-It hasn't happened before Malfoy,"

"As if I'm actually going to believe that," he said, his face impassive instead of sneering or smirking like she expected. "I want a damn explanation, Granger, and I want it now,"

Hermione frowned and shook her head. "No, I don't have to tell you anything," she said, knowing that was true. She didn't owe Malfoy an explanation and she never would. Yes they'd agreed to be peaceful for the rest of the year but they weren't friends so she didn't owe him anything. "And I don't want to either,"

"Yes, you do," he said, making Hermione scowl. She was prepared to respond and probably end up saying something rude but Malfoy opened his mouth again. "Are you going to go to sleep again?" Hermione hesitated before shaking her head, and Malfoy swore quietly. "Tell me that this is just a one time thing, Granger, that this has never happened before,"

"It's never happened before," Hermione said, too eagerly for it to sound real. She wanted Malfoy to believe her even though if she were in his position, she never would. "It's just a one time thing-"

"So how long has it been happening?"

For a few seconds Hermione chose not to answer him. She hated that _Malfoy _was the one who was going to figure it out first. She hated that someone who didn't actually care was going to be the first who would understand her problems. "A while," she said quietly, shrugging.

"Granger I swear-"

"Ever since the battle, Malfoy. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?"

He scowled now. "No I'm not happy," he muttered. "So you've gotten a few hours of sleep for the past few months?"

"Well it's usually three or three and a half hours,"

"As if that makes it any better. This is why you always look so tired, isn't it,"

"You've-"

"Of course I've noticed, Granger. It's incredibly obvious," Hermione frowned; if it was obvious then she was sure someone else would have noticed. Or cared. Right? "You do realize that there are a bunch of different sleeping potions, right? Why haven't you tried one of those?"

"Do you really think I haven't? They don't work well, I don't know why,"

"Maybe you didn't brew them right-"

"Of course I did, Malfoy. I've always brewed potions correctly,"

"Well you know it can be kind of hard to do things right when you're running on three hours of sleep each day,"

"I brewed them right, Malfoy!"

"So I guess you've tried potions for that annoying cold of yours too?"

"Yes," Hermione muttered, frowning at him. "I'm sorry if it's bothering you-"

"It is," he said, sighing and walking over to sit in the chair. Hermione followed him, wondering if he would snap at her for doing so, but as she sat down on the sofa he didn't say a word. His frown was very deep and he wasn't looking at her, but that didn't surprise Hermione. "I'll look into finding stronger potions then,"

"You'll do what?" Hermione asked, surprised. Doing that implied caring, at least Hermione thought it did. For a moment she was tempted to tell him that he was once again acting like he cared, but she didn't want to irritate him. He was being nice and while he wasn't offering an explanation for his actions, Hermione appreciated them. "Why?"

"Well we did agree to keep peace, didn't we?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you-"

"To me it does," he said quietly, staring into the fire instead of meeting her gaze. "I believe I said I wanted an explanation, Granger,"

"But I already told you-"

"I gathered that you've woken up screaming every night since the battle. I gathered that you get three hours of sleep each night. What I want to hear is _why_,"

"Hermione watched him as he kept staring at everything in the room except for her. She wasn't thrilled to be looking at him either, as she really wanted to just open her book and forget that he knew, but for some reason she couldn't tear her gaze away. "It's... It's because of nightmares, Malfoy," she explained slowly. "About everything from the war and... Well, I suppose you understand?"

"So you're reliving things every night?"

"Kind of. Sometimes it's things that didn't happen with people that died, but those are just as bad,"

Malfoy didn't look at her or speak to her for a few minutes and Hermione pulled her knees to her chest and watched him. She didn't know what to think about the situation; she'd wanted someone to know, yes, but she'd always thought that no one would ever take notice. If she had thought to do the silencing spell again then she wouldn't have had to deal with Malfoy and the odd way he was acting. He had always been somewhat of a mystery to her, as he wasn't incredibly open, but he was beginning to confuse her even more. "Do Potter and Weasley know?"

"No,"

"Why?"

"They haven't noticed and I haven't said anything. The only reason I'm telling you is because I was stupid enough not to replace my silencing charm,"

Malfoy glanced at her then, a hint of a smirk on his face. "That's good for me then,"

"How so?"

"Because-" he paused, frowning as if he'd said something he didn't mean to. And Hermione guessed that he had, because she couldn't figure out why her not keeping it secret would be good for him. "Never mind, Granger," he said, frowning.

"Is there anything else you need to know? Because if not I'd really like to read my book. And you should go to bed,"

"You and your damn books. And are you seriously telling me to go to bed right now?" he asked, frowning at her. "That's not going to happen, Granger. If you're going to stay away then I will too,"

"But you need sleep-"

"And you don't?"

"But I've gotten used to it,"

"And I guess I will too,"

"Malfoy why are you-"

"Believe me, Granger, I don't know,"

The next six hours of Hermione's life were spent in near silence, which was usual for her in the mornings. Most of her attention was focused on her book which wasn't amazing, though every now and then she would glance at Malfoy because he yawned or moved suddenly. He ended up dozing off around three in the morning despite saying he would stay up with her. But Hermione didn't care about that, it was the gesture that mattered to her. He had tried to stay awake simply because she was and it's not like they were friends. They had only decided to get along hours before he'd heard her scream, he didn't have to stay with her.

For a moment she wondered if she should wake him up, as it was six in the morning and Hannah and Terry would be up soon, but he looked peaceful. Hermione had never seen him look that way before, so she left him there. He needed a little more peace in his life, Hermione thought, and she wanted the bathroom first anyway. She walked to her room and grabbed fresh robes and her towel before hurrying to the bathroom for her shower. She used the cold water again, hoping that would wake her up and make everything a little less blurry. Her vision wasn't unbearable but she definitely wasn't pleased with it. Hermione was sure it was because she'd spent so long staring at a book; it had happened to her once or twice before.

Malfoy was still asleep when she walked out to the common room, drying her hair with her towel, so she walked over to him and frowned slightly. "Come on, you should get up if you want to get ready before Terry and Hannah; they'll be up soon," she said, poking his shoulder so she wouldn't freak him out. He swatted her hand away and Hermione stepped back, surprised, but quickly realized that he was still asleep. "Malfoy, wake up," she said, shaking his shoulder. For a moment she could only think of having to do the same thing with Ron, but then cold grey eyes met hers and she sighed, stepping back again.

"Did I really-" he asked sleepily.

"You did," Hermione said, shrugging slightly. "But that doesn't matter. It was a lot to ask of you, st-"

"Granger you didn't ask me to do anything,"

"I know," she nodded. "So thank you for doing that, though you shouldn't do it again. You really do need a good night's sleep and besides-"

"I'll be the one to decide that," he said firmly, standing up and sighing as he folded his arms across his chest. "Are you-Are you feeling any better today? You know, with that whole annoying sneezing thing you're doing,"

"No, not really," Hermione said, staring at him with widened eyes. Had he really just asked if she was okay? Harry barely did that any more and now Malfoy was? "But thank you for asking,"

He shrugged and walked toward his bedroom without another word. Hermione went to her own room, putting her things away before leaving for the great hall. She didn't feel very hungry because she was getting nauseous again but going to the great hall would keep her mind occupied so she wouldn't have to think of anything serious. It was nearly empty when she got there which made her smile; if it was too loud Hermione was sure her head would start hurting. It also meant that she would get first pick of the small meal she wanted to have, which ended up being scrambled eggs that she liked. She picked at them for the most part, until Harry sat down across from her. She was surprised at that, mostly because they'd argued the previous day, and he was without Ron. "Morning, Hermione," he said, offering her a small smile and filling his plate.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you sitting by me? Shouldn't you be-"

"Well I was thinking about what you said-"

Hermione felt herself slowly turning red and she frowned. "Harry, I know that you're not going to like this, but I really don't want to talk to you right now,"

He looked slightly crestfallen, but irritated at the same time. "But I was trying to-"

"I know, and I appreciate it, but just give me a day or two, all right? I'll get over it,"

"And you'll forgive Ron too?"

"I didn't say anything about that,"

"But it's you and Ron, Hermione; you two, well, I just... I don't want whatever's happening between you two to effect our friendship okay? And I'm not talking about you and me, I'm talking about the three of us,"

With guilt weighing heavily on her mind, Hermione smiled slightly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to remain friends with Ron after what had happened, but she knew that she could be civil with Ron if she tried. "You've got nothing to worry about, Harry. Ron and I will find some way to make things work," Hermione would try, at least, she wasn't sure about Ron though.

Harry nodded and smiled back at her. "Okay, so I'll give you a few days. But then you'll have to help me a bit with my homework; it's been horrible with you not checking over it," Hermione chuckled softly but nodded; she didn't want to work on anyone else's homework but she'd always helped with Harry and Ron's and she would feel bad if they got horrible grades. Even if they deserved them.


	18. Chapter 18

Draco Malfoy's life was suddenly filled with many things to keep him occupied. He had classes to attend and homework to do, which took up most of his time. He had Delegate meetings to attend with Boot, Abbott, and Granger. He had to deal to with idiots in other houses trying to get a rise out of him. And now he had to write constant letters to his mother and a healer he'd met at St. Mungos in his sixth year, looking for sleeping potions and other potions to help Granger. He never said who the potions were for, as he was worried what would happen if that came out, but that didn't stop him from writing. Not only that but he was attempting to stay up every night so she wouldn't be alone. He still didn't want to care, but he couldn't help but admit that the thought of Granger suffering made him uneasy. Unhappy, even; he felt irritated with her friends for not noticing it and with her for doing nothing about it.

All Draco had allowed Granger to notice was him staying up and doing homework. He hadn't allowed her to learn exactly how he was going about getting her better potions, because he wasn't sure how she'd react, but she needed them. He'd gone to Slughorn the day after he'd learned of her problems and gotten everything the old wizard had under the excuse of beginning to feel sick and not sleeping well. He knew that Granger didn't want her situation coming out, or at least he assumed that was what she wanted, so he was keeping it quiet. Slughorn had called him over in the middle of a class to ask how he was doing which made Potter and Weasley look at him oddly, but he didn't care about them.

His mother didn't have the best suggestions for strong potions, though she did tell him very simple things to do if he wanted to feel better. Draco would probably never use his mother's solutions and her idea of rest would not help Granger at all, as she couldn't sleep, but at least she didn't ask too many questions. He was still waiting for word back from the healer he'd met, but Granger was managing.

She did refuse to take the sleeping potions Slughorn had given him though. She was terrified that if she did take them she'd be stuck in a nightmare unable to wake up and while Draco could understand being afraid, he'd never heard of the potions doing that. It was the only time he'd seen Granger afraid though, and he was beginning to enjoy knowing that she wasn't perfect as he'd always assumed she had been. No matter how many times over the past week and a half he'd fought with her over taking the potions she wouldn't do it, which also proved to him just how stubborn she could be. They didn't talk much, besides those arguments were Draco tried to do everything in his power to make her take them, but he was content with that. And while he had only not fallen asleep once in the week and a half he'd been sitting in the common room with her, he knew how she felt about the matter. Granger appreciated what he was doing and he could honestly say this was the only time she'd ever felt appreciation toward him.

Draco was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Weasley's complaining as he entered the library. It had taken Granger three days after he'd found out about her sleeping patterns to make up with Weasley and start hanging around him, Potter, and Weasley's sister again. She didn't talk to him about her life outside of her nightmares, but he understood well enough what was going on. And knowing Granger, she was only still with him because she felt she had to be. He hated that; if given a choice he would force her to break up with Weasley because he was sure that would make her happier, but he couldn't control Granger. He didn't want to either, unless it had to do with her sleeping. It wasn't healthy to operate as she is, and while it nearly killed him to think about, he was worried about what could happen to her if she didn't start sleeping better.

No doubt it was Granger that had dragged Weasley there, she'd done it before, but his loud sound made Draco irritated. The library was supposed to be quiet, not filled with a bunch of complaining and the quiet snaps of _if you don't want my help then you don't have to come._ That would shut Weasley up for a few moments before he would start complaining again. Granger sat down with her three friends a few tables away from Draco and he frowned; Granger looked even more tired than she had when he'd last seen her at lunch. He'd have to have another try at convincing her to take a sleeping potion, though he knew it wouldn't work. He listened for a while, taking a chance every now and then and glancing at Granger. Once or twice he was sure she was looking at him too, but he pretended not to notice. It looked like Granger was doing the same.

And that worked, for maybe forty minutes. Draco listened to Granger helping her friends with their homework and he realized how pathetic they could be without her guidance. Every now and then he would hear Weasley start complaining and Potter would shut him up, which made Draco feel slightly better. At least Granger had someone watching out for her now, though he had no idea what had happened between the two to make Potter wake up a little, but Draco was slightly pleased about it. He was sure that would mean that Granger would start to hate him again as Potter still seemed to hate him, but at least she would be happy.

He froze at his table, blinking slowly as confusion overtook his mind. He cared about Granger's happiness? Since when did he care about Granger's happiness? Yes he didn't want her to suffer, but happiness was a different story. He shook his head slightly, looking at his essay again and frowning at it. He'd gotten distracted since Granger had walked in, but he needed to focus again. It was due the next day and he didn't want to do it late at night. He would be up, yes, but that didn't mean he wanted to do homework at two in the morning.

"Well maybe I'd get it right, Hermione, if you didn't insist on bringing us somewhere with a Death Eater," Weasley said loudly, bringing Draco's gaze to him. Weasley was already glaring at him and Draco frowned; all he'd done was sat and looked at Granger a few times. Weasley hadn't caught him so Draco knew he was just making a big deal out of him being there because he could.

"Ron," Granger snapped, though Potter had fallen silent on the matter. She said something and Weasley rolled his eyes, but for a few more moments he was silent.  
And then, "As if I actually want to breathe the same air as someone responsible for Fred dying,"

Draco stood up then; he wasn't going to allow himself to argue with Weasley. It would upset Granger and apparently he cared about her happiness, so he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. It made him furious as all he really wanted to do was punch Weasley, but he couldn't. He was slightly irritated that Granger had just let him talk, but he couldn't blame her. Weasley, for some odd reason, was her boyfriend and she had to side with him most of the time. He stormed past their table as that was the way to the exit, and he heard a heavy sigh. "Malfoy, stop," Granger said. But he didn't listen. But then there were footsteps following him out into the corridor. "Malfoy, I said stop!"

He came to a halt, his frown deepening as he turned to face her. "What, Granger?"

"You know if you'd been able to hear, you would have heard me tell Ron to shut up,"

"Sure you did. You're going back on your deal, it's okay,"

"I wasn't going back on our agreement, I told him to stop talking. I should have said it right away and I'm sorry that I didn't, but I did say it,"

Draco was about to snap at her when out came Weasley and Potter, Weasley looking furious and Potter looking apprehensive. "You have got to stop doing that, Hermione," Weasley said.

"Ron I'm not having a conversation with you right now," Granger snapped, not even bothering to look at the boy behind her. "Harry will tell you, Malfoy, I stuck to what I said I would do. I told Ron to stop. I told him that what happened to his brother wasn't your fault and that he needed to let the past go,"

"That's a good lesson you should learn too, Granger," he said, his eyes narrowed. He watched as a slightly hurt expression crossed her face, but it disappeared after a moment.

"I know," she said quietly. "Will you just accept my apology so we can move on?"

He wanted to say no, to let Granger experience the rejection he often felt. And yet he said, "Fine," and turned away from her, beginning to walk again.

"I never knew you could be such a pushover, Malfoy," Weasley said loudly.

"Ronald I told you to stop!" Granger said furiously.

"And I told you to stop defending him!" Weasley said, his voice raising.

"You're being horrible and you need to stop; I can't deal with-"

A furious sound came from Weasley and Draco turned around to see a murderous look on Weasley's face. Potter was watching and sighing quietly, which told Draco that either Granger and Weasley had fights like this before or he knew that Granger would be fine. But Draco could see Weasley gripping the end of his wand and the image of Granger being thrown across the great hall came to his mind almost immediately. In six large steps he was in front of Weasley, his wand aimed at his throat. "Use it on her, I dare you," he said angrily.

Silence followed Draco's very angry threat. He didn't know if Granger would be upset over him pulling his wand on Weasley, but at that moment he didn't care. Draco was sure he would have done something worse if Weasley had actually used a spell on her, so at least it hadn't come to that. "Get your filthy hands away from me, Malfoy," Weasley said furiously, trying to push Draco back. It didn't matter though; he was to angry to step back.

"Malfoy he wasn't going to-" Potter tried, sounding incredibly confused.

"His hand was on his wand, Potter, so you might want to shut up," Draco said, his eyes narrowed. "Apologize, Weasley, now,"

"For what?"

"For being an absolute prat,"

"I wasn't-"

"Need I remind you that you threw your girlfriend across the great hall?"

Silence followed once again and Draco almost thought he saw a flicker of remorse on Weasley's face, but it was quickly replaced by irritation. "Why do you care so much about Hermione?"

"I don't," he snapped, though he knew that was beginning to be a lie. "What I care about is getting back to my day. So apologize,"

Weasley finally grumbled out an apology and Draco stepped away, putting his wand back in his pocket and leaving Granger and her friends. He didn't trust that Weasley wouldn't try to use a spell on him, but he did trust that Granger would-He nearly froze again but he managed to keep walking, his eyes wide. He couldn't trust Granger; he got hurt by those he trusted far too often. He wanted to keep his distance with her to avoid, well, everything, but at the same time he wanted to help her.

With his confused thoughts occupying almost all of his mind, he barely heard Granger's sudden shout. She was calling to him and he wanted to stop and turn around, but that would make him seem like even more of a pushover. Draco wasn't a pushover; he despised that word. "Malfoy, please, I want to talk to you!"

"The feeling's not mutual, Granger!" he muttered, taking quicker steps. "Go back to your friends,"

"Malfoy you're being ridiculous today, did you know?" she asked, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop.

"That's a matter of opinion,"

"No, that's fact,"

"What do you want Granger?" he asked, rolling his eyes as he tore his arm out of her grip. She frowned for a moment but it quickly disappeared.

"I want to know what that was all about. We agreed to make the year peaceful, but you drew your _wand_, Malfoy. That seemed like-"

"If you plan on saying that I care again then you'll be sadly mistaken, Granger. I don't care," he lied easily.

"Believe me, I understand. You've made that perfectly clear. But even so, you don't just draw your wand for anything-"

"Weasley was going to use it on you, Granger. Maybe you're too blind to see that but I'm not. I wasn't about to stand by and let that happen,"

"Why?" she asked curiously, tucking a strand of her bushy hair behind her ear.

Draco frowned and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll tell you if you take a sleeping potion tonight,"

She scowled and matched his frown. "You know my feelings on that matter, Malfoy,"

"So I won't tell you why. Have a good rest of your day, Granger," He didn't wait for her to say anything else; he walked to the common room and straight to his room, collapsing onto the bed. Staying up each night with Granger was horrible and he needed more sleep. And that sounded, to him, like the perfect way to end the afternoon.


	19. Chapter 19

It had taken a few days after Malfoy had started forcing potions on her, but her cold was finally gone. Not that it made much of a difference, but at least she felt a little better. Malfoy seemed slightly pleased that her sneezing and coughing had disappeared and while Hermione knew it was odd, she was glad that she wasn't annoying him any longer. What she truly wanted, now that it had been three weeks, was for Malfoy to go to bed and leave her alone at night. She was sick of his constant pestering about taking a sleeping potion; they didn't work.

The first one she'd taken had been three nights after the battle, as Mrs. Weasley had thought that they could all use a better night's sleep. Her nightmares had already started up by then and that night... She hadn't been able to wake up. For a full eight hours she'd gone through the entire battle again but refused to say a word about it. She only used potions if she was desperate enough to be stuck for a long amount of time because she didn't want the extended torture of her nights. Malfoy knew her fear though he didn't know her reason behind it, and yet he pushed her. It was infuriating; he was just as stubborn as she was and they were getting nowhere. Nights without him had definitely been more peaceful.

Hermione was close to breaking down and she knew it. There would come a day when she wouldn't want to keep fighting with Malfoy and she would take the damn potion just to get him off her back. And maybe she would keep taking them, just so he could get sleep. Just because she didn't sleep didn't mean he shouldn't either. Ron and Harry were closer to her and they certainly weren't sacrificing anything, so why should he? Hermione hated thinking about it, but she was beginning to wonder if Malfoy cared. Just slightly. She didn't really want to bring it up anymore, but the thought weighed heavily on her mind. Did he care? Or was there some other motive for his actions? She didn't know, and her head was hurting too much to think about it.

Ron and Harry were talking nonstop about quidditch. They were both on the quidditch team, a fact Hermione had failed to take notice of until Ron had very angrily demanded that she come to their practice so she wouldn't spend time with Malfoy. It didn't matter that she'd told Ron she hadn't been spending any more time with him than need be and that it wasn't her fault they were living together, Ron was still furious. It probably had something to do with the library incident the previous week and the way Malfoy had defended her on multiple occasions. Ron took every opportunity to make a rude comment about Malfoy and Hermione would quietly tell him to stop, but her heart wasn't in it. She was tired, people were beginning to whisper about her when they thought she couldn't hear, and Malfoy was as cold and annoying as usual.

"Of course she's not listening, Harry," Ron said as they walked back from their practice. "She's probably too busy thinking of other ways to make the year worse for us,"

Hermione remained silent, frowning slightly at his words but choosing not to say anything. She didn't want to fight with him, not anymore. She had half a mind to just end the relationship then and hope that maybe one day Ron would wake up so they could at least be friends again. But of course that would only make him angrier and she didn't know what she would do if that happened. "Ron maybe give it a rest, yeah?" Harry asked quietly. Hermione knew he was only saying anything because she was there to hear it and he didn't want her angry with him.

"Well it's the truth," Ron muttered. "She never listens to us anymore. I bet she doesn't even know we're talking about her right now,"

"I know," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. That made her headache worse though and she frowned. "I'm not trying to make the year bad for you, Ron. I don't know why you think that,"

"Maybe it's because you're spending so much time with Malfoy," Ron said, stopping and folding his arms across his chest. She sighed again, glancing around the grounds before returning her gaze to him. "Oh, and now you're looking around for him, are you? Can you not stand up for yourself anymore? You really do need us for everything,"

"I'm just looking around," she snapped. "And maybe if you weren't attacking me at every opportunity I wouldn't need him to stand up to you. I don't see anyone else trying to knock me down a peg,"

"Oh please, I'm not attacking you-"

"You used your wand on me!" she said, forgetting that she'd planned on keeping quiet. "If that's not attacking then I don't know what is,"

"Oh shut up, Hermione," Ron said defensively. "I don't know what you're problem is this year, but you're being horrible,"

The need to get away stole the angry words from her throat and Hermione began to walk faster, leaving Ron and Harry behind. "Hermione what are you doing?" Harry called after her, but he didn't bother to start walking faster either. "Just stop, come on, do you really need to do this right now?"

"Shut up, Harry!" Hermione yelled, not bothering to turn around and face him. She was sick of them both, even if Harry was trying harder than Ron.

Hermione went to the library instead of the common room; Malfoy would be in the common room because dinner had already happened and she wasn't quite ready to deal with him yet. The library would be peaceful and quiet and that was what she needed to get rid of her headache. Peace and quiet; if she could just have that for the rest of her life she would never complain again. Or at least she would try not to complain again; it was part of human nature and would be a pretty hard thing to stop doing.

The library, as she expected, was nearly empty. Hermione decided to browse the shelves instead of sitting down; she wanted a new book to read that night and the ones in her room she'd already read multiple times. She was excited to read something new, though that excitement got lost as she yawned. "-so terrible-"

"Ginny it's none of our business," she heard Neville say quietly.

Eavesdropping, Hermione knew, was a terrible thing to do. She hated it when people listened in on her conversations, which had happened multiple times in the past, and she felt bad doing it to someone else. But curiosity got the better of her so she stayed put, listening to what she had a feeling she'd heard before. "It's definitely our business, Neville," Ginny said. "She's our friend too, not just theirs,"

For a moment she hoped they were talking about Luna; maybe something had been going on with Luna that she hadn't taken notice of. "That doesn't mean we need to talk about her behind her back, Ginny,"

"She does look tired, Neville," Luna agreed then. "But terrible is not a word I would use. Just tired. And sad, maybe, mostly she looks tired and sad,"

She took her book and left, careful to stay out of their sight. They weren't the only ones talking about her, she'd heard others, but they were supposed to be her friends. She didn't want to hear them talking about her. Hermione knew she shouldn't have listened in on their conversation in the first place and she hadn't actually heard her name, but she knew. They sounded like the other people who commented on her appearance.

And so despite wanting to avoid him, Hermione walked back to the common room knowing that Malfoy would be there. He was probably doing homework, as he did every night, or he was ignoring Terry who so often wanted to pick a fight with him. Terry still hated Malfoy with every ounce of his being and Hermione would be shocked if that changed any time soon. Hannah was more indifferent and Hermione was starting to almost like him, but she was afraid that would change if he brought up the stupid sleeping potions one more time.

He was in his chair when Hermione got back to the common room, and he didn't look up when she entered. Malfoy was staring at a textbook, a slightly confused expression on his face, and for the few seconds Hermione watched him he only looked away once to write something on a piece of parchment. "You can continue standing in front of the door, Granger, but I'm sure you'll get smacked with it when Boot and Abbott come in," He still didn't glance at her, though he did begin to frown. "You're being awfully quiet as well,"

"It's been a long day," Hermione said quietly, walking away from the door and toward her room.

"Are you going to bed?"

"Yes,"

"So I'll see you later then?"

"No," Hermione said, folding her arms across her chest as she reached for the door. That was when Malfoy looked up, turning around to face her with a confused look on her face.

"Do you think you'll make it through the night?"

"No,"

"So then I'll see you later," he said, rolling his eyes.

She shook her head, despite him not looking at her. Hermione hated it, but she felt absolutely defeated. All she wanted to do was go to bed and forget that Ron existed. "No, Malfoy, you won't. I won't be coming out tonight so you should get a full night's rest,"

"What do you mean you won't be coming out of your room? You always do. I've gotten used to spending the-" he stopped, turning to face her once more with a slightly angry expression on his face. "You're taking a potion tonight then. It only feels right for you to sleep through the night if I do,"

Hermione shook her head. "That's not happening, Malfoy, and you know it. You know how I feel about it-"

"I also know that you're being ridiculous, Granger. What's the deal with this anyway? Do you like the fact that people are starting to talk about you? Funny, I never thought you were one for that kind of attention,"

"I-" Hermione hesitated, sighing heavily. "I'm tired of fighting, Malfoy. I can't, anymore, I just can't. So just give me your damn potion and let's be done with it,"

Malfoy seemed surprised at that, but he all but jumped up and ran to his room. He came back out a few moments later, a vial in hand, and he gave it to her without a second thought. "I'd like to see you take it, Granger. I don't trust to do it yourself,"

She scowled and swallowed the potion inside, frowning at him. "Happy?"

"I wouldn't call it happy. I am glad that I no longer have to spend every night with you. Now that you've agreed to take it, I can get you one each night. Slughorn might get suspicious, but I can handle him,"

"Malfoy I really don't care," she said bitterly, walking into her room and slamming the door in his face. Maybe it was rude-okay it was definitely rude, but Hermione wasn't lying when she said she didn't care.

She changed into her pajamas, knowing she wouldn't have long until the potion took affect. She wished that she would have thought of a way to not actually take the potion, but she was sure Malfoy would have seen through her. As darkness began to creep into the edge of her vision, Hermione climbed into bed, feeling tears threaten to spill down her cheeks, but she managed to keep them from falling.

The first two hours weren't terrible. They made Hermione's heart ache as she relived the day she'd wiped her parent's memories, but they didn't terrify her. She wasn't even afraid when she passed through different events from horcrux hunting that normally would make her tremble. Hermione knew that under normal circumstances, she would have woken up by then. And yet Malfoy's potion was working. And she was thrown back into something that she had no desire to be in. Reliving her torture, dragged out over hours, left Hermione making frightened noises in what she would hardly call sleep. Eventually the scene shifted and Hermione was in the battle, watching as people dropped dead around her. She was in the great hall next, holding the hand of a dying sixth year she had never learned the name of. She was standing in front of Remus and Tonks, crying over their dead bodies. She was watching Ron and his family sob brokenly over Fred. She heard whispers in her ears, saying that it was her fault.

Light was coming in from her window by the time the potion wore off and Hermione was able to sit up and bury her head in her hands. She let out a loud sob, unable to stop her tears now, though she no longer tried to wipe them away. It was pointless, she realized. It was that moment, when Hermione sat in her bed and began to sob, that she allowed herself to cry for everything that had happened since the start of the school year. Hermione did not cry often and, besides a short weak moment the night of their first delegate meeting or the occasional tear or two because of Ron, she hadn't let tears fall since a few days after the battle. She felt like crying often but she hated it, and she knew what Ron and Harry would think if she just started sobbing like she was now.

It was five in the morning when she woke and, after nine hours of sleep that had done nothing for her, Hermione decided that she would not leave her room. Maybe for the rest of the weekend; it was a Saturday and she was sure she wouldn't be missed. She would have to sneak out every now and then to use the bathroom, but other than that she was sure she could manage. The pathetic feeling came back as her tears fell but she didn't know how to make it go away. Not this time.


	20. Chapter 20

Draco woke with a start around eight in the morning and immediately thought it was too early. Despite getting nearly nine hours of sleep, he hadn't made up for the past three weeks of sleepless nights with Granger. _Granger._ Draco sighed and sat up in bed, running his hands over his face. Her words from the previous night rang in his mind. _I'm tired of fighting, Malfoy. I can't, anymore, I just can't._ He'd never seen her look so defeated and he sure as hell didn't like it. For maybe the eighth or ninth time he wondered if he'd done the right thing, if Granger had actually slept well from taking the potion. He wanted to ask, but asking would imply caring and Draco wasn't ready for Granger to know that he was beginning to care for her.

He slowly climbed out of bed, resigning himself to sit in the common room with Abbott and Boot. He had absolutely nothing better to do and if Granger was up then she was probably already with Potter and Weasley. He frowned then, wishing Granger would get out of his head; thinking about her was confusing. He felt oddly attached to a girl that he'd hated for seven years. How much did he care about her? It was beginning to get harder to deny that it was more than just a bit, but that still didn't give him an exact amount. Draco liked exact amounts.

Boot scowled at him as he walked toward the bathroom and Draco scowled right back at him. He'd never realized exactly much he hated Boot until he started living with him. The boy was absolutely crazy and he despised Draco. He could handle that, as Draco hated him too, but it would have been nice not to have everyone hate him. He hurried on with getting ready for the day before sitting down in his chair with his textbook.

He would have gone to breakfast, had he not been curious to see Granger when she came back from wherever she was. He wanted to see if a full night's rest would have made her look a little less tired or maybe if she would look a little better. And to hell with not wanting her to know he cared; he did and his curiosity on how her night had been was too great. He didn't want to miss her because he wanted to ask how she'd slept and if the potion had worked well enough. Draco was sure he'd have a permanent frown after that day though, as he usually frowned when he thought of Granger and she seemed to be the only thing on his mind. He wished, briefly, that at least one of his friends had come back with him. It that had happened he would have been far from thinking about Granger, or at least he would have been able to have someone to help him understand exactly why he'd started thinking about her in the first place.

Draco spent most of the day in his chair, working on homework and trying to ignore the fact that he was growing hungry. He'd already missed two meals waiting for Granger to come back; he couldn't understand what she would be doing but it was none of his business. Granger actually had a life, unlike him, and she had people to talk to. It seemed all Draco had was her.

Dinner finally rolled around and Draco sighed, listening to Boot and Abbott chat happily as they made their way out of the common room. His stomach grumbled slightly and he rolled his eyes; it was pathetic, waiting around for Granger when she might not be back for hours. Yet he didn't move; he read his textbook and waited. She would be back, eventually.

Draco didn't have to wait long. It had been around half an hour after Boot and Abbott had left before Draco heard a door open. He looked toward the entrance, expecting someone to at least be walking in, but the door was still closed. He blinked, confused, and looked around the room only to find Granger standing in her doorway, looking at him with slightly widened eyes. "Shouldn't you be at dinner?" she asked.

For a moment Draco could only stare at her. "When the hell did you come in?"

"I-" she stopped suddenly, frowning deeply. "I believe I asked you first, Malfoy," she said defiantly.

"I was waiting to speak with you," Draco admitted angrily. "Now I'm wondering why I didn't just knock,"

"You've been waiting here all day?" He kept quiet, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. He didn't want to admit that part to Granger; he would rather face Voldemort again than tell Granger that he'd spent the entire day waiting for her. He wasn't sure what she'd think if he told her that. "Malfoy, I'd like an answer," He nodded stiffly, his lips shut firmly as he stared at her. It was silly, he knew, to be embarrassed for his actions, but he was. "Please tell me you left for meals,"

"Oh I highly doubt you've eaten anything today, Granger," he said, trying to shift the conversation away from him and on to her. "Why did you stay in your room all day?"

"I don't owe you an explanation to my actions, Malfoy,"

"And yet I do?"

"Well you didn't give me much of one!"

"Then give me the basics, Granger!"

For a moment Draco was sure she wasn't going to say anything, but then she opened her mouth and angrily stated, "Your bloody potion didn't work, Malfoy,"

Draco wasn't worried about her being angry with him, he was worried about what her words meant. The potion hadn't worked? He'd been sure it would-Slughorn had been sure it would work. Granger had to have a seriously messed up head if that potion wasn't working for her. The thought made him frown though; what exactly was going on with her? He became aware very suddenly that Granger was no longer standing in her doorway; he hadn't even noticed her door shut. Without thinking, Draco stood and walked to her door, knocking angrily.

"Granger come out. I need to speak with you!" He heard nothing but silence come from her room, which made him frown. He was sure Granger would have told him to go away and the fact that he'd heard nothing led him to believe that she'd updated her spells. "Granger!" he continued, pounding on the door even harder. Even if he couldn't hear her, she could hear him and he refused to stop until she came out. Even if Boot and Abbott came back in, Draco knew that he would continue pounding on the damn door. "Granger I swear to-"

"What, Malfoy?" she asked angrily, throwing her door open and glaring at him. "I'm trying to do something,"

"If that something involves reading a book and ignoring me I'm going to be furious," he stated.

"Well it involves both, Malfoy, so good night-" She tried closing the door on him and his mood worsened almost immediately. He stuck his foot in the door, took a deep breath, and pushed past her into the room. Draco Malfoy had a rule about going into other people's room and having other people come into his room: he didn't do it and he didn't allow it to happen. Rooms were a personal space and Draco wasn't one to try and get involved in personal lives and he didn't like people involved in his. He'd already stepped far outside of his comfort zone, learning all he had about Granger, but she had learned next to nothing about him. Yet she'd come into his room and now he was in hers, making him shift uncomfortably as he stared at her. Granger looked just as shocked as he felt about his actions. "What are you-"

"I said I wanted to talk to you, Granger, and you completely ignored me,"

"Excuse me for not wanting to deal with someone who didn't listen,"

"What did I not listen about? It would be great if you'd actually answer me for once instead of beating around the damn bush. What did you mean when you said the potion didn't work for you? Why were you in your room all day? When did you plan on-"

"Shut up," Granger hissed, finally closing her door and frowning at him. "You can ask all of these questions but if you don't give me the chance to answer any of them then you're just going to run out of breath,"

"Maybe you should have answered me earlier,"

"Can't you understand that I really have no desire to talk about any of this?"

"Can't you understand that I really don't care?" he asked mockingly, making Granger raise an eyebrow. "Come on, just... At least explain to me what I did that made you so angry,"

Silence followed for a few moments and Granger stared at him wearily. After what felt like an eternity, she sighed and went to sit down on her bed, bringing her knees to her chest and frowning at him. He continued to stand by her door though; he didn't want to stay in her room for too long as he knew Boot would go running to Weasley if he saw Draco coming out of Granger's room, and then they would have a bigger problem than what they had now. "It's really simple, Malfoy," she stated. "It didn't work. I told you what I was afraid would happen and that's exactly what I was stuck in. You didn't listen; you just cared about getting yourself to bed,"

"Granger, I-"

"Listen, Malfoy, I don't blame you. I've no idea what I would do for quality sleep but if it was as simple as giving someone else a potion, I would do it in a heartbeat. I get-"

"Granger I didn't give it to you because I wanted you to just get more sleep," he protested, but his words were lost on her ears.

"-I mean I felt bad about you staying up anyway, so I'm glad you managed to-"

"Granger _listen_ to me, will you?" he asked, frowning at her. He wanted to go over and shake her shoulders to get her to pay attention to him; he hated her excuses and the fact that she wouldn't listen to a word he said. For a second her mouth opened and he was sure she was going to start talking again but then it snapped shut and she stared at him, confused.

"Did you say you didn't do it just because-"

"Yes," he said, shaking his head slightly as he glanced around the room. He would do anything to keep from looking at Granger in that moment; he was sure she would think more of his words than he intended. Pansy had done that quite a few times in the past and it annoyed Draco to no end. He finally focused on one of the flowers on her bedside table; he didn't know Granger kept flowers. "I thought the potion would help you, Granger. I gave it to you because I thought it would make you better. Not... Were you really stuck? I swear I've never heard of a potion doing that before; how on earth...?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Granger said, shrugging as she tried to catch his gaze. "Malfoy when you say that-"

"I'm not saying it again, Granger. Once is enough, I think,"

"But that sounds like you, well, like you care," she said carefully. Draco snapped his gaze over to her then, but he didn't say a word. There was no use in denying it anymore, he was beginning to care about her, but as someone who, well, he wasn't sure. Never as a friend; he would never want to be friends with Granger. "Do you-"

"I don't plan on answering that, Granger, you should know that by now," he stated, frowning again. "So what happened last night?" His shoulders were still tensed from standing in her room and probably from the conversation shifting into dangerous territory, but shifting it back to her would be a good thing.

"I think you can figure that out for yourself," Granger said, rolling her eyes.

"I understand that you, somehow, were stuck in a nightmare, but what did you dream about?" he asked, noticing the slightly anxious tone of his voice. Draco could only hope that it wasn't anything too bad; it was his fault that she was stuck in one in the first place. If he hadn't pressured her, if he had thought to look a little closer at exactly what the potion would and wouldn't do, then they wouldn't have this problem.

"The battle, mostly,"

"Anything else?"

"Hunting horcruxes with Harry and Ron,"

"And that was it?"

Granger hesitated before saying, "No, not exactly,"

"So what else was there?" Draco asked, wishing he didn't already know the answer to his question.

"What happened when we were caught," she said quietly, meeting his gaze steadily as if she didn't care that he'd been there that day. Draco felt nothing but guilt at her words though; he was partially responsible for what had happened to her and he was completely responsible for her having the extended nightmare.

"So why were you hiding in here all day?"

"I didn't handle it well, Malfoy,"

"What?"

"The nightmare, I didn't handle it well. I didn't want to go out anyway, as I knew it would be a bad day if I did, and I was half sure I was going to cry in front of everyone and I definitely didn't want to do that,"

Draco glanced at her, surprised that she was admitting so much to him in that moment. He would never be able to do the same, but Granger was more trusting than he was. "Well, I-" he stopped, biting back an apology and frowning. "It's unfortunate the potion didn't work. We'll have to find something else. But for now I think it would be best to go down to the great hall and get something to eat,"

"Together?" Granger asked, probably without thinking. Draco stared at her, feeling the discomfort rising as Granger's own face turned a shade pinker. "No I'm sorry, that was stupid. I'll go down in a few minutes. Enjoy your dinner, Malfoy,"

"You too, Granger," he said curtly, grabbing the door knob as if it would save him from making a fool of himself. "I'll see you tonight then?"

"I guess you will when I wake up," she shrugged, rubbing her arm in what looked like a nervous gesture. It was funny, but Draco had never really noticed Granger being nervous around him before. He didn't say anything else though, he just slipped out of her room, thankful that Boot and Abbott weren't in the common room, and walked down to the great hall for dinner.


	21. Chapter 21

Everything was a mess, and Hermione hated that. She was on thin ice with Harry and Ron, but at least Ginny had stayed out of that argument. Other people thought that she was beginning to go crazy. Her grades had slipped ever so slightly. She was sleeping even less than before because she was worried about everything. Draco Malfoy was confusing her more than anything, but at least they spoke every now and then when they were up in the early hours of the morning. She was beginning to see the effects of not sleeping on him for the past week and a half though and it made her feel incredibly guilty. If there was any way she could get him to go to sleep she would, but he was stubborn and Hermione knew he would notice if she tried to slip him a sleeping potion. He would be absolutely furious if she did that; he'd probably force her to take one too if he found out. Malfoy had an odd thing where he believed if she wasn't sleeping then he shouldn't be sleeping either, and he got extremely irritated with her every time she tried to convince him to go to bed. And the mess only got worse when she thought about her parents.

Malfoy really was confusing her though; she had no idea what was with his actions or why he sometimes started a conversation with her about things that stayed far from personal. She knew that Malfoy had never been one to get into personal things, which she was thankful for. Hermione didn't want to go into detail about her life and she knew Malfoy didn't want her knowing anything about him. It was bad for her curiosity, but she could handle it.

Hermione sighed softly and shook her head as she picked at a bit of pasta. She really did not want to be sitting with Harry, Ron, and Ginny right now and she could see Malfoy sitting by himself. She was half tempted to go over and sit with him but she knew that Malfoy would push her away and she'd be left feeling like a fool. That confused her too; she didn't know why she'd want to sit by Malfoy as it was likely they'd end up arguing, but that didn't change the fact that the thought had crossed her mind. She shook her head again and looked at her plate. Harry and Ron weren't talking to her, probably because she'd stood up for Malfoy earlier that day, but they would get over it eventually. And if they didn't, well, Hermione was already getting used to them not really caring.

She closed her eyes, just for a moment, to get away from seeing the great hall darkening. For a few minutes she heard nothing but screams and shouts, asking where people were, asking for help, begging for their lives. Hermione took a deep breath and looked up, locking eyes with Malfoy. He raised an eyebrow as she continued to stare at him, and she shrugged slightly. His raised eyebrow told her exactly what he was wanting to know: was it happening again? Was she back to seeing things from the battle? With her small nod Malfoy frowned and looked away, and Hermione went back to looking at Harry and Ron. They were both already staring at her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ron asked, looking around the great hall as if he would be able to find exactly what she'd been looking at.

"Nothing important, Ron," Hermione sighed, taking a small bite of her dinner as her friends continued to look at her. Ginny was sighing too and Hermione could hear her telling Harry to stay out of the argument, because it was none of his business.

"Obviously it was something, Hermione. Who were you looking at?"

"Ron, calm down. I was just looking around the room," she lied, knowing that would keep Ron from throwing an even bigger fit. "I'm still allowed to look around, aren't I?"

"Not when I'm sure you were looking at Malfoy,"

"Oh please, Ron," Hermione said, frowning at his words. They were true but he didn't need to know that. He would be even more angry if he knew that.

"You're not even trying to deny it this time?"

"Ron-"

"Do you know what's really messed up, Harry?" Ron asked, cutting her off and turning his attention to Harry and Ginny.

"Ron let's not do this right now," Hermione said, her eyes narrowing slightly.

He ignored her and, without waiting for Harry to speak, said, "It's really bad that Hermione's spending so much time with Malfoy when she's supposed to be dating _me_. And I never thought she would be a traitor, either,"

"Ron, come on mate don't-" Harry tried.

"Oh, a traitor, am I?" she asked furiously, cutting him off.

"Yes, a huge bloody traitor. You're hanging around a Death Eater, Hermione-"

"Well isn't it odd how a _Death Eater _treats me better than you, Ron?"

"He does not-"

"Yes, he does! In ways that I can't even explain because you haven't taken notice!"

"Maybe I'd take notice if you actually spent a little time with us-"

"I was around you all summer and you didn't notice a damn thing!" she said, standing up and throwing her fork to the table. She felt absolutely furious; how dare Ron accuse her of being a traitor? She'd stood by him after he'd treated her awfully, after he'd used a spell to throw her across the room, and after every horrible thing he'd said. And he was calling her a traitor? Because she'd started talking to a boy he hated?

"Well you were running off to Australia every other week!" Ron said, standing up as well.

"I was looking for my parents!"

"Maybe you wouldn't have had to look for them if you were, for once, a decent person and didn't wipe their memories!"

Hermione froze, blinking as Ron took on a triumphant expression. He'd won, in his opinion. In her mind, he'd lost. Her and her friendship. "I'm done," she said, feeling as if everyone in the hall was looking at her and the way her hands were starting to shake.

His expression disappeared almost immediately. "You're what? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm done, Ronald," she said, managing to take shaky steps toward the door.

"Hermione stop!" Ron said, running to meet her at the door. He blocked her path and narrowed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "You don't get to just say that. I know what you're doing. You're trying to get me to apologize so we'll stay together, right?"

"No, Ronald. I'm trying to get away from you," she stated, folding her arms across her chest. "Now get out of my way,"

"I-"

"I don't want to hear it," she snapped. "Now move,"

It seemed as if he'd only just realized what he'd done over the past five and a half months, and he stepped aside. Well, maybe only a little though because he still had an angry tone. "Hermione-"

"Not a word," she said. The last thing she saw as she walked out of the great hall was Ron's confused expression.

It took her a moment to realize exactly what she had done. She had mixed feelings on the matter; it was probably bad but she was thrilled to not be attached to Ron anymore. At the same time she'd lost the comfort of having a family that seemed to care for her, something she was desperate for since her parents were nowhere to be found. Maybe Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, and Ginny would understand if she explained, but she wasn't sure Ron's brothers would be as forgiving. Did she need them though? Could she handle just writing the occasional letter to people she'd grown to care for? She would have to and she would have to do it without Ron finding out. Ron would probably be furious if he found out.

Hermione shook her head again and continued toward the common room. It was going to be a long night, considering the queasy feeling in her stomach and the way guilt began to swell in her chest. She'd left Ron; he was still getting over his brother's death. He needed her support and what had she done? Left him without a second thought. "What have I done?" she whispered, rubbing her face with her hands and sighing. She needed to apologize; she needed to tell Ron that she'd been angry and that she hadn't meant a word of what she'd said. Hermione turned around and began to walk quickly back to the great hall. She had to get there before he decided he hated her; she needed to get there before he, Harry, Ginny, and the rest of their friends decided they hated her.

She all but ran into Malfoy. She'd been going around a corner and all the sudden he was there. He'd reached out a hand to grab her arm so she wouldn't fall backwards and Hermione stared at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you," she said as he released her arm.

"Doesn't matter," he said, frowning slightly. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"To the great hall-"

"Why?"

"Well I made a mistake, Malfoy. I shouldn't have ended things with Ron and I have to fix it,"

He stared at her, his frown deepening. "Granger you can't be serious,"

"Well really it's none of your concern,"

"None of my concern?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. "I'm the one who's going to have to keep going over and yelling at him for being an ass to you, Granger. I don't want to do that anymore. And don't you have enough on your plate without dealing with him?"

"But he lost his brother, he needs my support-"

"Well do whatever you want, Granger," Malfoy folded his arms across his chest and glared at her. She couldn't understand why he looked so angry, as he wasn't affected that much by her decision. "I believe I've said this before, but my opinion doesn't really matter,"

"And I believe I've said before that it does. In a way," she said, beginning to frown as well. "I just... I'm going to feel like a horrible person if I don't go in there and make sure he's okay. He probably won't want to speak to me again; neither will Harry,"

"Oh please; they need you, Granger. What would they do without the brains of your group?"

"They've managed fine in the past,"

"But did come back, didn't they?"

"Well, yes-"

"Then they will this time too. I don't know why you're so worried about Weasley though; he's got a lot more people paying attention to him than you do,"

"But his problems are-"

"If you say they're bigger than yours I'll have to hex you,"

Hermione rolled her eyes and watched as Malfoy unfolded his arms. "Then I won't say it,"

"And stop thinking it too,"

"You don't know what I'm thinking,"

"Well that's true. But I can guess, can't I?"

She nodded, rubbing her arm with her hand as she looked at him. It was definitely one of their longest conversations without an argument, that was true, and what was odd was that Hermione half enjoyed it. It wasn't often anymore that someone talked to her without wanting something or without throwing out an insult. "Yes, you can," she said.

Malfoy smirked and nodded in the direction of the common room. "I don't want you to apologize to him, Granger. So what do you say we go back to the common room?"

"And work on things in silence?"

"I like silence," he shrugged.

Hermione nearly smiled as she nodded. "Me too,"

And that was how she found herself walking back to the common room instead of going to apologize to Ron in the great hall. Malfoy didn't seem to want to speak anymore and Hermione was okay with that; she was too busy thinking about what she'd done to hold an actual conversation. Malfoy sat in the chair when they got there, as usual, after he'd gone to his room to grab something to work on. Hermione had done the same though she sat on the sofa, close to him so Terry and Hannah wouldn't have to if they decided to sit down. Hermione didn't mind sitting near Malfoy but Hannah and Terry weren't his biggest fans, so she thought it was best that she sit by him.

Three hours passed and Hermione finally closed her textbook and rolled up her essay. Hannah and Terry had gone to bed an hour ago and Malfoy was still sitting in his chair, though he was quite obviously trying not to fall asleep. "Maybe you shouldn't come out tonight," she said finally. "You're looking rather tired, Malfoy, and I hate to think that it's because of me,"

He rolled his tired eyes and frowned at her. Malfoy seemed to do that a lot when he looked at her, frown. "You know my feelings on the matter, Granger, so it's pointless to bring it up again,"

"But I can try, can't I?" she asked.

"Shut it," he muttered, standing up and scratching the back of his head. "I'll be up in a couple of hours. I expect I'll see you as well?"

"As if that's going to magically change in one night," she mumbled, standing up as well. They both walked toward their doors and Malfoy reached his first. Hermione hesitated before saying, "And Malfoy? Thanks, for not letting me go back to Ron. I would have been stuck there for ever if I had,"

He shrugged and opened his door. "Well it's not like I wanted to hear him be an ass anymore,"

"But still-"

"Granger, let it go,"

"Malfoy I-"

"Let it go, Granger. It doesn't matter. You're welcome or whatever, it really makes no difference to me whether you thank me or not,"

Hermione frowned but nodded. "All right. Good night then," He nodded in response and disappeared into his room without another word.


	22. Chapter 22

Draco sat at the Slytherin table in the great hall, staring at the letter in his hands. His mother had sent him two letters since the beginning of the school year, not counting the number of letters they'd exchanged while he was looking for better potions for Granger, and it was already the first week of November. And she'd only sent the letters because he'd written her first. But now he sat, staring at the letter in his hands and wondering whether or not he should open it. Draco was sure if she was sending him a letter then something had to have gone wrong, and Draco didn't want to know what that was. He definitely didn't want to know that things were messed up in the morning; it could wait until that evening. He didn't need to go through classes and look even angrier than usual; someone could notice and on the off chance he was asked about it, he didn't feel like snapping at anyone.

The letter weighed heavily on his mind as he went through his first class though, and by the time he got to Potions it was all he could do not to tear it out of his bag and read it that instant. But Weasley was busy walking into the class, looking as moody as he normally did, and Potter looked around the classroom before nodding slightly at him. Draco almost blanched; he had no idea why Potter would do that but after a few words to Weasley, Potter was walking toward him. "I'm supposed to be yelling at you or something, so look angry or annoying as you usually do, okay?"

"What are you-Don't tell me what to do Potter," Draco said, frowning instead of looking as surprised as he felt.

"Good, that's, uh, good or whatever Malfoy. Listen, I have something to say-Don't look like that, it's about Hermione,"

"What on earth do you have to say to me about Granger?" Potter scowled; it was quite obvious that he didn't want to be standing in front of Draco's table. "You might want to hurry, she'll be coming in any second,"

Potter glanced toward the door and then to Weasley, who raised an eyebrow at him and mouthed _hurry up_. "Ron wants me to tell you to stay away from her, and as much as I want to agree with him-"

"Get on with it Potter, I really don't want to listen to you all day,"

"Just don't upset her or anything, got it? If you're going to be friends-"

"We're not-"

"If you're going to be friends," Potter repeated, frowning. "then you can't hurt her. She's like my sister, Malfoy, and even though I haven't been acting like it she is. So just don't be your usual self and turn into an ass, okay?"

"Potter I-"

"Just promise me, Malfoy. Don't upset her. You can do that, can't you? You've made plenty of other promises,"

"Whatever, Potter. Just go away, will you?"

Potter finally walked away, which almost made Draco smile. He was glad to be rid of him, though he couldn't help but think about what Potter had wanted. Why he couldn't just act like that around Granger and then everything would be fine? It was obvious that he did want her to be okay, contrary to what Draco had started to believe, but if he kept acting so bloody stupid with her then nothing would ever get better between him and Granger. And speaking of Granger, where the hell was she? She was usually in class by now and while he didn't actually know where she would be sitting, as they hadn't had Potions since she'd stopped her relationship with Weasley, that didn't mean she just didn't get to come to class. If he'd been willing to admit it, he could have been worried about her, but he wasn't entirely sure what that would mean. The only time he'd been worried about someone was when Voldemort had threatened his mother, though it was hard to focus on worry then. Maybe he'd once been worried about his father, but that time was so long ago he couldn't remember it.

Granger didn't come into Potions that day and it didn't seem that many noticed her absense. Potter did, Draco could tell because he kept looking at the door. Draco had definitely noticed it, though he managed to focus on brewing the proper potion. It was good, but it wasn't the best in the class so he didn't get one of Slughorn's approving smiles or nods. He didn't really care about that though; what would the nod get him? Glares from everyone else, probably.

He went through his day, wondering where Granger was when he didn't see her at lunch and barely thinking about the letter he'd received that morning. It was probably nonsense, that what he had to convince himself of, if he was apparently going to spend a large portion of his day wondering where Granger was. He reminded himself multiple times as he went through his classes that he didn't care about her too much and that she was probably off reading in the library, she loved those stupid books so much. He managed to get his focus back after getting snapped at by Flitwick, something that almost made him turn pink because he absolutely hated having attention brought to him now. And he didn't think about Granger for a few hours, instead he went back to the common room and started working on his homework. If he could get half of his Potions essay written then he wouldn't have a problem with getting the rest done when he was up early in the morning. Sometimes he thought better and clearer then, which he found odd as he'd expected to be bleary at two in the morning. Most people would be, he knew, and Granger definitely was but she seemed bleary most of the time now. He was back to her very quickly after that, though dinner soon came and he went down alone. The entire time he was in the great hall he didn't see Granger.

It was rather boring, Draco realized, to sit in the common room and listen to Boot and Abbott mumble about things he didn't care about. He didn't want to work on any more homework because then he would have nothing to do when he was up later that night with Granger. If she ever decided to show her face again. Draco didn't know where she was and there was always a chance she'd come back to her room while he'd been in the great hall for dinner, but he doubted it. She would sit with Longbottom or by herself at meals, something that made Draco scowl though he knew that was because he wasn't a huge fan of Longbottom. He wasn't a huge fan of anyone, really, so that didn't surprise him.

Draco had only just decided to pull out the letter he'd received that morning when the door to the common room opened and McGonagall walked in. She didn't look irritated, so Draco knew she wasn't about to yell at one or them, and she didn't look worried either so he knew nothing bad had happened. Boot was the first one to stand up as McGonagall walked past them and he looked at her curiously. Abbott followed him almost immediately but it took Draco a few moments to put his things down and stand up with them, his arms folded across his chest. "Professor?" Boot asked curiously, but she ignored him and walked straight into Granger's bedroom.

When she came back out nearly two minutes later, she was holding a set of robes that made Draco raise an eyebrow. What was she doing with Granger's clothes? "Um, Professor?" Abbott asked, looking confused. "What are you doing with those?"

"Miss Granger will need something to change into," she said stiffly, pausing to look at the three people in the room with her.

"She'll change here though, why are you taking them?" Draco rolled his eyes; Boot had to be a bit stupid if he couldn't understand that something was going on.

"Miss Granger's in the hospital wing," McGonagall explained, sighing quietly and walking toward the door. She was about to open it when Draco decided it would be a fantastic idea to speak.

"Why?"

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy?"

"I want to know why, Professor," he said, trying to keep his voice polite so he would have a better chance at getting an answer.

"Something happened this morning," McGonagall said, regarding him carefully. "She was taken to the hospital wing and given a Calming Draught and a sleeping potion-" He very quickly stopped listening as a long list of curse words ran through his mind. Granger would have fought to not have to take that potion but obviously no one listened to her, just as he hadn't. Draco didn't know what had happened to make her need the potions in the first place but after a moment he realized it didn't matter. What mattered was that he was sure she would be stuck in those bloody nightmares again, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. In a few more seconds Draco was walking out the door to the common room, his letter completely forgotten as he walked down to the hospital wing. He had to at least make sure there was another Calming Draught prepared for when she woke, as he was sure she would need it then too. Maybe he'd leave a note explaining that if she needed to speak with someone about her nightmares then he was available, but that would sound like he cared too much so he quickly decided against it. "Mr. Malfoy, what on earth do you think you're doing?" Professor McGonagall asked, catching up with him rather quickly.

"No idea," he muttered, continuing to walk down a flight of stairs. Even going down to the hospital wing implied a level of caring that Draco wasn't comfortable with, but he didn't have much of a choice. To his absolute surprise though, Professor McGonagall didn't say anything to him as she walked briskly by his side. Thankfully the hospital wing wasn't too far from his common room so he got down quickly and walked in quickly without thinking very quickly, only to see Granger in a bed three down from the door with friends by her side. Potter, Weasley's sister, Lovegood, and Longbottom were all with her, talking in quite tones.

It was Lovegood who first noticed that he'd walked in. "Oh, hello," she said, her voice as dreamy as ever. "Are you here for Hermione too?"

Granger's other friends looked at him then and Weasley scowled at him. Longbottom only sighed quietly before whispering something to Lovegood. Potter had a surprising reaction in Draco's opinion; he nodded at him again. "I-No, I'm not Lovegood," he said, walking past the group and trying not to look at Granger. From what little he'd seen she hadn't looked like her sleep was going well. He burst into Madam Pomfrey's office then as McGonagall walked over by Granger, and the witch looked at him in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

It was his turn to scowl then, not Weasley's, as he glanced toward the door. "Have another Calming Draught ready for when she wakes up,"

"Excuse me?"

"She'll need it, that's all; sleeping potions don't work well with her, we've tried-"

"What do you mean you've tried?"

Draco rolled his eyes and slipped his hands into his pockets, wanting to get out of the room and the hospital wing as quickly as possible. It had been a mistake coming down anyway, as it was only going to lead to rumors. Weasley, as far as he knew, couldn't keep her mouth shut. "It's pretty self-explanatory," he muttered, watching Madam Pomfrey's irritated expression before walking quickly out of her office. She would do what he told her to, he was sure, so it was definitely time to go.

He could hear McGonagall speaking quietly to Granger's friends as he passed and he glanced at Granger one more time; she looked just as tired as ever and she was sleeping. He sighed quietly and quickened his pace as he walked out of the infirmary and back toward the common room. When he arrived again Boot and Abbott were staring at him quite oddly but he picked up his things and ignored them as he went to his bedroom. Draco got ready to climb into bed rather quickly before pulling the letter out of one of his textbooks, frowning as he saw his mother's handwriting. He almost didn't want to read it as he was afraid of what he would find. But he tore it open anyway, and sat down on his bed as he began to read.

Most of it was nonsense, apologizing for not writing more letters but giving the excuse of being busy. It wasn't until he got to the last paragraph that he realized why his mother had even sent the letter. _They've decided to put him to trial, Draco, just after Christmas. I know you don't want to, but you must come home to spend one more Christmas with him and me. _His mother knew it too; if his father was going to be sent to trial-and it had never been an _if_, simply a _when_-then he would be found guilty for all he had done during the war. It was a surprise the Ministry was only just getting to his father after all he'd done.

With a sigh Draco tossed the letter into the fire; of course he would go home if it would be the last Christmas he had with a complete family. As much as he wasn't a fan of his parents at the moment, he would still try and please them. The part that had caught him off guard though was the _and me_. Draco had a feeling he knew what that meant, but actually thinking the words would make it seem more real. So with that thought and Granger's face in his mind's eye, he laid down and attempted to fall asleep. Even though he knew it was pointless.


	23. Chapter 23

It had been a rather rotten morning to begin with, honestly. Malfoy had been incredibly silent in the early hours before he'd fallen asleep around three in the morning, so he hadn't provided some of his usual distraction with a small debate on something or another. Hermione had thought to ask if everything was okay but her relationship with Malfoy was fragile enough and she didn't know exactly what would set him off. Her only entertainment had been her book, which she'd read a few weeks earlier. She'd gotten ready around six that morning and somehow managed to wake Malfoy up as she was coming back from her shower, but he didn't say anything. So maybe that hadn't been too bad, it was kind of similar to other mornings, but it got worse.

Hermione had gone down to breakfast that morning to see Neville sitting with Ron and Harry and Ginny, which definitely disappointed her but Hermione couldn't be frustrated about that. Neville was friends with Harry, Ron, and Ginny and he had a right to sit with him in the mornings. But since she'd ended her relationship with Ron she'd sat with him most of the time. She'd reminded herself that she was fine with sitting by herself and she pulled an essay out of her bag to finish it while she picked at a piece of toast. Again it wasn't too awful, though occasionally she would glance at Malfoy and he would be staring at something in his lap; Hermione wasn't sure what but going over and asking was another way that she could possibly upset him.

She'd gone to Charms then, prepared to sit by Ernie MacMillan and listen to him complain about everything under the sun. Ernie really wasn't that bad but he'd gone a bit bitter after the battle which didn't surprise Hermione at all. Charms was when everything turned horrible. She'd only meant to close her eyes for a moment, just a blink really, and then she was going to open her textbook and start reading to pass the few minutes before class started. It hadn't really worked out that way. When Hermione opened her eyes again she hadn't been sitting in the Charms classroom, she'd been kneeling over the dead body of a faceless person. It had freaked her out, as she was sure it would do to anyone, and she felt sick when she looked over and saw who had his wand out and pointed at the person beside her. Surely Malfoy hadn't actually killed anyone, right? That was something she hadn't even thought about. One little scream as others were walking into class, falling out of her chair, and a bit of hyperventilating made Professor Flitwick believe that she needed to go to the hospital wing.

Ernie had been the one to take her down, actually, which made Hermione scowl as she'd hoped that she'd be able to go down alone and just avoid going all together. Ernie, ever the head boy he was, had made it his personal duty to escort her straight to Madam Pomfrey and demand that she be given a Calming Draught, which she didn't need as the hyperventilating was already getting better by the time she'd gotten down to the hospital wing. It didn't look like Madam Pomfrey wanted to give her the potion either, though after looking at her for a few moments she'd decided that Hermione could do well with a sleeping potion. That was when she lost it.

Arguments spilled out of her mouth faster than they ever had before, and quite a few curse words too that turned her cheeks a warm color. Apparently she'd needed the Calming Draught then, because the hyperventilating started back up and she'd backed herself into a wall, trying to keep Madam Pomfrey and her stupid potions away from her. Hermione knew what the damn potion would get her and there was no way she was going to let it happen again, not even if Malfoy came in and gave her that look he usually did when he wanted her to do something. For a second she paused and caught her breath, closing her eyes and trying to figure out if it would help if Malfoy came down. Surely he would be able to create a better lie than her as to why she didn't need the sleeping potion, though if he would help her more than he already had, she didn't know.

The sound of a footstep made her eyes fly open and she wasn't breathing properly anymore. Multiple times she told herself to stop, to just calmly explain the situation to Madam Pomfrey, but that would mean telling someone other than Malfoy and she didn't want to do that. She noted, dimly, as she stared at Madam Pomfrey and shook her head quickly, that her hands were trembling again, so she hid them behind her back. It took shouts of, _"It's just to calm you down, Miss Granger, please!"_ before she finally let the nurse approach her and pour a potion down her throat. It did calm her down, considerably, which she was thankful for, though Madam Pomfrey was quickly putting a vial in Hermione's hands and telling her to drink it. Hermione had, very upset by the action but not really able to mention it as the first potion was already starting to work. Not long after she'd fallen asleep, and the nightmares began.

It was early the next morning when she woke again. There was no sunlight coming in through the windows in the infirmary and Hermione let out a soft cry. For once she didn't understand why Madam Pomfrey hadn't listened to her when she quite obviously hadn't wanted the potion, though now there was nothing she could do about it. Hermione had no desire to keep her eyes closed as she was sure the nightmares would just replay, but looking around the empty infirmary made her feel almost as bad as the dreams. She refused to cry this time though, as she felt she'd done that enough and Hermione was positive a few tears had leaked out yesterday. And so she just looked around, wondering if she would be able to sneak out of the hospital wing even though her legs felt weak and she was sick to her stomach over what she'd seen. Why was Malfoy suddenly invading her dreams? She didn't need to see him inflicting pain on others, his Dark Mark as clear as day on his pale arm as he held out his wand. Maybe it was became she was speaking to him now; maybe if she put a stop to that she would stop dreaming and seeing terrible things about him. Because surely Malfoy hadn't hurt anyone too badly, had he? It hadn't seemed, during the actual battle, that he'd wanted to be there very much and she couldn't imagine him purposefully killing someone even if he was an ass most of the time. It took a special kind of evil to be able to do that, and she didn't see that evil in him.

Madam Pomfrey came out a few minutes after Hermione woke up, carrying yet another vial that made her start to tremble again. What if it was another sleeping potion? Hermione wouldn't take it; she would refuse. She would smash it into the ground and do the same with every other potion the woman tried to give her. "Mr. Malfoy said you might need this," Madam Pomfrey said quietly, even though there was no one else in the infirmary. "I see he was right,"

"What?" Hermione asked, rather stupidly in her opinion, but what else could she do? Why would Malfoy even know that she was in the hospital wing, unless Ernie had started telling the entire school and the story found him. Of course Ernie would tell; he'd seen Hermione lose herself for a moment and what better story was there at the time?

"When he came last night, I imagine he wanted to see you but your friends were here so he came to me instead, telling me that he thought you would need another Calming Draught for when you woke up. You're still shaking, take it," she commanded, her eyes narrowed slightly but also a bit confused.

Hermione took it, knowing that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't really lie to her. "What do you mean my friends were here?" she asked carefully. Her friends hadn't really taken sides after everything with Ron, though Hermione had been spending less time with them so Ron would be around them more. He needed their support more than she did; he was going through more than she was. It did surprise her though that they came once they heard. And had Ron been with them? Would he have wanted to make up so that she, Harry, and himself could go back to being the friends they once were?

"Yes, Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley, Miss Lovegood, and Mr. Longbottom all came. Mr. Potter stayed right up until the last minute; I had to send him away. He swore he'd come back in the morning though, so I expect we'll be seeing him shortly,"

Hermione nodded slightly; of course Ron hadn't come. He was probably still angry with her, and she could understand that. She'd hurt him and he'd need time to get over whatever he was feeling. Time was something Hermione was willing to give. Madam Pomfrey talked to her for a few more minutes, explaining that she would be given the notes from her classes the previous day and that there was a fresh pair of robes waiting for her when she decided to get ready. To be honest she had absolutely no idea how she'd gotten into a pair of the hospital wing's pajamas, but she had a feeling that Ginny and Luna would have had something to do with it, as would Madam Pomfrey herself.

The nurse left and Hermione continued to sit on her bed for a moment, feeling the effects of the Calming Draught and forgetting most of what she'd dreamed the previous night. The potion was rather useful; if only she could have one around at all times then she wouldn't be stuck in this situation again. She was just getting ready to climb to the end of her bed when the door to the hospital wing opened. She turned, expecting to see Harry and have what she thought would be a rather awkward conversation, but it wasn't Harry who was walking slowly toward her.

Malfoy had his hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his trousers, his hair wasn't perfectly slicked back as normal, he wore a rather uncomfortable expression, and it didn't look like he'd slept well last night. Hermione stared at him as he walked over to her; apparently he'd come last night but a follow up in the morning? It definitely hadn't been expected. "I see you're all right then," he said smoothly, though the way he was staring at a spot above her head told her that he really didn't want to look at her. "I just wanted to make sure. I'll be going now,"

He turned on his heel and began to walk away then, making Hermione raise an eyebrow. "Malfoy what-" she began, feeling at a loss for words. It didn't happen often and she hated it when it did. "I mean, why are you here this early? It can only be-"

"It's about six, Granger, in case you were curious. No different from other mornings, really,"

"Fine then, the time's not important. Why are you here?"

"I told you. I wanted to make sure you were all right,"

"But-"

"Granger just accept it and move on, will you?" He sounded angry, though Hermione couldn't tell if he was actually angry with her.

He turned away from her again, and Hermione frowned. "Malfoy did you really come last night? How did you hear?"

"McGonagall told us as she was getting your robes," he said stiffly, a frown that matched hers as he looked at her. "When she mentioned the sleeping potion I-Well I figured it would be wise to have something so you wouldn't get into the state you were last time. I'm guessing that worked,"

"It did, thank you,"

"It doesn't matter,"

"It does to me,"

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Don't go thinking it meant anything, Granger, I-"

"I'll be sadly mistaken, I know. We've been through this before,"

He turned around again and walked away without another word. For a moment Hermione sat and watched the door, half hoping he would come back for some reason, but she shook her head to get rid of the thought and decided to change into her robes. It was about time, she decided, that she get back to her daily routine so she left the hospital wing without asking. Madam Pomfrey would not be happy with her when she came back out, as Hermione hadn't been told that she could leave, though there wasn't anything else that Hermione needed so she thought it would probably be fine. And there was always the possibility that Madam Pomfrey would try and get Hermione to discuss what had happened and that definitely wasn't something she planned on doing.

Hermione went back to the common room first and saw Terry coming out of his room and walking into the bathroom, though he gave her a small smile as he saw her. Hannah, Hermione realized, must not be awake yet but that was probably good; if Professor McGonagall had told the other delegates about what had happened then Hannah would be the one to try and talk to her about it, and that was another thing Hermione didn't want to do. She hurried into her room and picked up her bag before going back out to the common room and waiting for Terry to get done so she could freshen up. Once that was done, she walked to the great hall for breakfast.

She sat at the Gryffindor table by herself for a few minutes, eating in peace and wondering how she could be okay now when the previous morning she felt as if she was stuck in her own personal hell. It was a curious thing to think about, and Hermione barely noticed Harry sit down beside her. Not until he knocked his shoulder into hers and smiled slightly. "You look a bit better, I guess,"

Hermione stared at him for a few seconds before she nodded. "Thanks, Harry. I think,"

For once it seemed that Harry had planned exactly what he wanted to say to her, and he didn't waste much time getting them out. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, making Hermione raise an eyebrow. "I shouldn't have-"

"I heard you came yesterday," she interrupted.

"What? I mean, yeah I did once I heard,"

"To be honest I was surprised when I heard that,"

"You were-Well I suppose you would be. I've been awful, haven't I?"

"A bit, yes," she agreed, offering him a small smile. He was her best friend and even though things had been rocky, she'd forgiven him a long time ago. "But you were there for Ron, I wasn't, and I think that was very good of you,"

"But I should have-"

"I told you I would get over it, didn't I? Well, I have. It's okay, Harry,"

"It's not, not really,"

"You came, Harry, didn't you? When you thought I'd really need you, you came,"

"And?"

"And I'm thankful for that. So it's fine. Let's get past it, okay?"

"All right. I'll make it up to you though, I promise,"

"I know you will," she smiled, turning back to her breakfast and beginning to eat again.


	24. Chapter 24

To Draco's absolute surprise, two weeks after Granger had spent the night in the hospital wing no one had found out that he'd been there. Apparently Potter's girlfriend could keep her mouth shut, which Draco hadn't expected. Granger never said anything about the hospital wing incident either, and Draco followed her lead. They went back to spending the early hours of the morning together and debating irrelevant things like which class was better and who the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was. Every now and then he wanted to ask her about what had happened to make her end up there in the first place, as he still didn't know the entire story, but yet again there was the whole caring aspect that he wasn't happy with. He didn't care that much, but of course he hadn't really gone to visit anyone else in the hospital wing and his friends had been in there before.

Even though he wasn't okay with caring about her, Draco was actually getting more comfortable with her. He would allow himself to make a few sarcastic comments instead of remaining mostly serious and standoff-ish, though the few times he did that he surprised Granger, which Draco was sure was half the reason why he did it. It seemed that Granger herself was relaxing a bit with him, as every now and then she would flash a smile at him before going back to whatever she'd been doing. It was kind of nice, he thought; Draco hadn't really had that kind of experience with his friends before.

He frowned as he sat, half-listening to McGonagall explain something at the weekly Delegate meeting. Draco didn't even want to associate that word with Granger; how could he do that and continue to claim that he didn't really care about her? Everything with Granger was a problem, it seemed, though everything before her was a problem too so he knew he was capable of handling it. Thinking of problems brought him back to his father though, and the letter he'd received at the beginning of the month. Three days after getting one from his mother he'd gotten a letter from his father, which shocked him more than anything else had that year. His father wanted Draco to speak for him at the trial to try and get whatever sentence he would have lessened. And Draco wasn't really sure he wanted to. Yes it would break his mother's heart if his father went to Azkaban and she was left alone, but Draco didn't want to lie and tell the Ministry that his father had been forced into everything. He hadn't; he'd chosen to be a Death Eater and it had gotten him nothing but trouble.

"Mr. Malfoy, do you agree?"

"What?" he asked rather stupidly, his frown deepening. That was what thinking got him; he couldn't pay any attention to anything when he was trying to think through things, and the look on Boot's face irritated him more than normal. "Um, sure, whatever,"

There was a groan from beside him and he glanced at Granger, who was shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Professor he wasn't even listening; he doesn't know what he's agreeing to," she argued, making Draco raise an eyebrow. Surely it was just one of Boot's silly groups and he would have nothing to do with those.

"He still agreed, Miss Granger. I'm sorry but that means Miss Abbott will get her party,"

Draco blinked; he couldn't remember Abbott ever wanting a party. A dance, yes, but McGonagall had shot that down weeks ago. "Excuse me?"

"Hannah proposed a party-like gathering instead of a feast the night before everyone leaves for holidays," Granger explained, her voice irritated. "Her and Terry were for the idea, Professor McGonagall and I were against it. You were the deciding vote,"

"Wait but I-" he started, glancing at Abbott to find her smiling at him for the first time in his life. "But what good is this going to do anyway?"

"It will help people interact with students in other houses and learn things about each other; doesn't it sound wonderful? I can plan it all, Professor," Abbott said, looking at McGonagall. "And I'll make sure it won't cost the school anything,"

"Very well," McGonagall said, frowning just like Granger was. "Create some plans and bring them with you next week. And I'll see you all next week as well," Abbott nodded excitedly and walked out with Boot almost immediately, excitedly telling him some of her ideas. Draco sat still, as did Granger, and they both stared at McGonagall as she looked at them with a raise eyebrow. "You two seem to be in sync for once," she stated.

Draco rolled his eyes and glanced at Granger, who looked a little flustered by the comment. "You can't be serious about letting this happen," Granger said, shaking her head slightly as if that would make McGonagall change her mind. "Not everyone is going to want this and if we force it on them they're going to get frustrated,"

"I understand, Miss Granger, and I completely agree with you, but Mr. Malfoy sided with Miss Abbott and Mr. Boot-"

"I didn't mean to though," he grumbled, his eyes narrowing.

"That's your own fault for not paying attention, Mr. Malfoy,"

"So there's no way we can stop this?"

Professor McGonagall shook her head and frowned before waving her hand. "No, there's not. I suggest you two get yourselves back to the common room though; it's getting late,"

Draco looked at Granger, prepared for her to fight about Abbott's party, but she sighed and stood up. "Have a good night, Professor," she said, turning around and walking out of the room. Draco hesitated before following her out the door with a glance at McGonagall. The next night was the first meeting of Boot's group to help those who fought in the battle and Draco had questions about it, mainly for Granger. If he could learn something about what happened there then maybe he could talk about them with Granger, as he knew there was no way she would go and let people know that she wasn't really doing well.

"I can't say I'm thrilled with you,"

He scowled almost immediately as he looked up at Granger, who was standing by the wall opposite of McGonagall's office. "Most people aren't," he shrugged.

"You know how important it is to listen in those meetings, right?"

"I'm starting to get it," he said as she fell into step beside him. "Honestly Granger, if I'd been listening I wouldn't have-"

"So then _what_ were you doing?" she asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"I was thinking, Granger. I'm allowed to think,"

"I never said you weren't. But what were you thinking about that got you so distracted?"

Draco very quickly fell silent. The two things he had been thinking about, her and his father, were not issues he wanted to share. With anyone, not just Granger. She continued to stare at him, as if he would answer her, and he stared at the ceiling. "Things," he answered stiffly.

He couldn't be sure, but Draco thought he'd seen her roll her eyes. "You're not going to tell me, are you,"

"Not a chance, Granger. Do you tell me everything you think about?"

"Well no but-"

"Then why should I tell you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I thought maybe if we started trusting each other with things we could be friends o-"

She stopped very quickly and Draco looked at her, feeling a bit shocked yet again. It didn't seem Granger had wanted to say the words either because she very quickly began to frown and shake her head. "You and I, Granger? Friends? As if that's ever going to happen,"

"It could, you don't know for sure,"

"Yes, I do,"

"No you don't," she protested, folding her arms across her chest and narrowing her eyes. Draco stopped in the corridor and Granger soon did too. "I mean we're practically there already, aren't we?"

"You must have had some bad friendships if you think that we're friends,"

"Malfoy what's gotten-"

"Into me? I don't know, Granger, maybe it's your stupidity about what a friendship actually is,"

"Don't call me stupid, Malfoy," she said angrily. "With the way you've been acting I-I mean you must be the one who doesn't know what a friendship is like!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know not everyone comes to the hospital wing to check on someone they don't care about,"

"But I don't-"

"And not everyone gives up sleep for someone they don't care about,"

"Granger shut-"

"So why don't you grow up, for five seconds, and admit that you care and we're friends and you're not the same ass you were every other year we went to school together!"

"I said shut up!" he said, beginning to storm away from her. He hadn't realized that his actions had been so obvious as to what he was feeling toward Granger and the fact that she'd notice made him uncomfortable and he started wondering if other people had noticed too, even if they hadn't seen everything he'd done.

"Wait, Malfoy-"

"Leave me the hell alone,"

"Malfoy I'm sorry," she said, walking quickly to catch up to him. "Look, I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just left well enough alone. I didn't mean to upset you,"

"Sure you didn't," he muttered.

"Malfoy really, I wouldn't try to upset you. What would I get out of it?"

"A nice story to tell Potter?"

"You know Harry told me he was okay with you and I-" she stopped, and Draco knew what she was going to say but obvious Granger didn't want to say it anymore.

"Being friends?" he supplied, scowling at the word. "You know, Granger, if we're _friends_ as you say, then you must care for me too," he said, knowing that the realization would make Granger take back her words.

Granger looked awfully conflicted about something, and apparently it was her turn to walk away from him. Draco rolled his eyes and walked faster to catch up with her, grabbing her arm so she'd stop. "What?"

"So you'll take it back then?" he asked. "The friendship thing. Because we both know you don't really care about me,"

Granger looked furious after the words sunk in. "Well maybe I do, Malfoy! Maybe I do but you acting like this makes it really easy not to!" Granger pulled her arm out of his grip and walked away again, but this time Draco didn't follow her. He shook his head and watched her walk away for a few seconds. He could count on one hand the number of people that actually cared about him; the rather short list included his mother and Snape. But apparently Granger had to be added to that list? Granger, of all people? What was he supposed to say to that? Was he supposed to admit that he cared about her? He couldn't do that because once he admitted that to her then he would start on that awkward path to being her friend. But as he stood in the darkening corridor, he started to wonder if being Granger's friend would really be such a bad thing. He already treated her better than he treated anyone else, which was saying something because he didn't treat Granger exactly the way she deserved.

With a heavy sigh he walked back to the common room with what he knew would be an angry expression on his face. He walked into the common room to see Boot and Abbott looking at Granger's door in surprise before turning to look at him curiously. Draco did his best to ignore the two as he walked into his own room and threw the window open, glaring at the Forbidden Forest and the bitter breeze that filled his room.

Draco got ready for bed even though it was only nine at night, but he wanted to get to sleep and be able to stay up when he woke up early the next morning. Surely Granger would be over what had happened by then and they could have a civil conversation about what to do; Draco didn't want to be friends with her as that would lead to problems, but at the same time he almost wanted to. Almost. Not enough to act on that feeling though.

Getting to sleep didn't appear to be in the cards for him, as he lay awake shivering slighlty as he started at the ceiling. Granger wouldn't get out of his stupid head long enough for him to drift off. He'd upset her and it bothered him. In the past he would have been thrilled to have upset Granger as that meant he was winning in that odd game he'd always figured they had. She'd definitely won third year with that punch, but that was beside the point. Now he just wanted her to be okay and happy; he absolutely hated that he wanted that, but he couldn't deny it to himself. To everyone else, yes, but lying to himself felt wrong.


	25. Chapter 25

Hermione nearly fell out of bed as she woke up from her dream that night. It was just past midnight according to her clock and normally she would go out and sit on the sofa waiting for Malfoy to come out and join her. He always came out around midnight as well, even if she came out later than him. Hermione had learned that a few weeks ago when she'd gotten a whole four hours and had woken up around one in the morning; he'd looked at her with a bit of surprised and asked where she'd been. That had led to the conversation about when he usually woke, because Hermione really didn't know how he'd managed to come out when she woke. Tonight was one of the rare nights she didn't scream though, which was nice. Maybe the Calming Draught was still working; Hermione didn't really know.

What she did know was that there was no chance she was going to be going out to the common room tonight. She didn't want to go out there and face Malfoy after what she'd said. Friendship? Seriously? Why would she have brought that up? It was like first year all over again, when she'd been so desperate for friends that she'd gone up to anyone and asked them if they could sit together at the next meal or try and sit with other people to study. Most of the time she was rejected, which didn't surprise her as she remembered being quite the annoying kid. And then talking about how she cared about him, in a way; she should have known that would make him angry.

She'd really wanted to hear him say the words back, even if it was a long shot, because she was beginning to like him. She liked the debates that had at two in the morning and the way he actually noticed what was going on with her, unlike her other friends. It had been months and they were still in the dark; somehow it was Draco Malfoy who knew the craziness in her head. Hermione thought that maybe they were a bit more like each other than they originally thought and maybe it was possible for them to be friends, but he quite obviously didn't want that. She should have known that too; it was hard for her to admit that she cared about him after everything that had happened in the past, but he didn't seem the same as he had been. The Malfoy she'd known in previous years probably would have laughed if he found out she was in the hospital wing. But he'd come, even if he didn't stay.

Hermione climbed out of bed and made it quickly before walking to her trunk and looking for a book she hadn't read. Her homework was already done for the next day and she didn't feel like starting on the essay she had due in two days. Hermione sat on the floor underneath her window, glancing at the cloudy sky before opening her book and beginning to read.

It was incredibly boring to just sit around, which was odd because Hermione had always loved to just read. And she realized after maybe an hour that she wasn't bored because she was reading, she was bored because she was sitting alone. She had to remind herself that Malfoy was still sleeping in his room and going out into the common room would only reinforce the idea in her mind that she'd messed things up with him. And it was somehow colder in the common room than it was in her room anyway.

Forcing other thoughts out of her mind, Hermione focused on her book and managed to pass another two hours as she approached the end of the novel. It was good, though she was sure she'd read it two years ago, but the plot was still interesting. She was maybe twenty pages from the end before she decided to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on her face so she wouldn't keep nearly falling asleep. Just a step away from pulling her door open, there was a knock. Hermione stared at her door in a bit of confusion, as she wasn't sure who she would find knocking at her bedroom door at three in the morning. A pang of fear went through her heart; what if it was McGonagall with bad news about her parents? With that rather unhappy thought she yanked the door open, her eyes slighlty wide and fearful.

It was only Malfoy. He looked just as confused by her looking so odd as she felt about him being there. Malfoy was supposed to be asleep right now, not a care in the world, not looking at her like he was. With a raised eyebrow, his jaw hanging slightly open, and his hair sticking up in weird places, he was quite the sight to see. "Granger what's gotten into you?" he asked, gesturing toward her door and then nodding at her expression.

Hermione let out a breath of relief, though there was a bit of sadness in it too. If it had been McGonagall then she would have at least known what was going on with her parents. "Nothing, I just thought-Well shouldn't you be asleep right now?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you'd be sleeping; what are you doing up?"

"I haven't been able to get any sleep, Granger," he said, looking as if he really didn't want to tell her anything about that. But he let the words out anyway and Hermione raised an eyebrow. "And I've been waiting for you in the common room since midnight. I thought we would be able to talk but-"

"I'm pretty sure all that needs to be said has been said," Hermione said, frowning slightly. "I was wrong and I was being stupid thinking that we could be friends, I get it. To be honest I don't even know why I brought it up,"

"So you're avoiding me?"

"Yes," she said, shrugging slightly. "Also it's warmer in here than out there so I thought I would stay in my room,"

"Well you've never seemed to have a problem with the temperature before," he said coldly, his eyes narrowing as he stared at her.

"And now I do. You should get to bed, Malfoy,"

"Did you even listen to what I said?" he asked angrily, making Hermione's frown deepen.

"Of course I listened, Malfoy-"

"I really don't think you did, because I told you I haven't been able to sleep at all tonight,"

"Well that's something you should figure out. Now if you'll excuse me-"

Malfoy stepped aside to let her pass but Hermione saw that his hands were starting to shake, probably because he was getting angry. "You know, Granger, I'm really getting sick of this,"

"Sick of what?"

"Whatever game you think you're playing here,"

"Malfoy I'm not playing a game,"

He rolled his eyes and Hermione folded her arms across her chest, staring at him only slightly curiously. She was offended by the fact that he thought she was playing with him; she hadn't tried to do that. "Of course you're not," he said. "You keep doing these stupid things like having nightmares-"

"Those are not stupid," she protested, but he ignored her.

"-reading your books when you should be sleeping, allowing Weasley to treat you terribly because you think he needs more support than you do-And damn it, Granger, you keep making me feel like I have to care about you and I really don't want to!"

"I get that," Hermione said stiffly, frowning at him. "I don't really need you to keep telling me. And I haven't done anything to make you feel like you have to care for me,"

Malfoy rolled his eyes again and began to look incredibly uncomfortable. "It is a game to you, Granger, I know it is. What, was this whole thing with Weasley a show? Were you trying to get me involved in your life so you could make a fool of me later on? Because what better way to do that than do what you've done," he said, throwing out a wild accusation.

"How-Are you honestly accusing me of that? What on earth have I done to make you think that?"

"I don't know, Granger, it's a little hard to think when it's three in the damn morning and you've gotten next to no sleep for what feels like forever!"

"No one ever said you had to get up, Malfoy!" she argued back, well aware that their voices were steadily raising. If they didn't quiet down soon Hermione was sure they would wake the entire castle because both could yell fairly loudly. "It was your stupid idea in the first place!"

"I was trying to make things easier for you!"

"Easier for me?" Hermione asked, laughing slightly at the words. "Right, because it's just _so_ much easier to sit with someone who can't stand you when what you really want to do is sleep!"

"If I couldn't stand you, Granger, I wouldn't be staying up. And I wouldn't have stayed up for six hours tonight thinking about you and what I can do to make sure you're not mad at me anymore,"

"Oh, and accusing me of playing with you was your solution? Well I can tell you for a fact, Malfoy, it's not working!"

He was quiet for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to create a response. "This is stupid, Granger; I came to your door to try and make things right and tell you that-"

"Will you two stop shouting!" Terry said, coming out of his room and slamming his door behind him. Hermione noticed a portrait on the wall shake slightly before she looked back at Terry's furious shouting. "It's bloody three in the morning; no one cares what either of you wants to say, got it? Malfoy leave Hermione the hell alone; if she's trying to get away from you then let her go!" Hermione stared at him, half tempted to tell him to leave Malfoy out of it. She'd never seen Terry so angry before but she could understand being angry if you were woken up so early in the morning. Malfoy opened his mouth to respond and Terry cut him off rather quickly. "Just shut up, Malfoy! You're not even good enough for her, whatever you're trying to do, so leave her the hell alone!"

It happened so quickly Hermione hadn't even seen it coming. One second Malfoy looked so furious that she was afraid he would attack Terry, and the next his shoulders sunk and he nodded slightly. "I know," he said, turning on his heel and walking toward the door leading to the corridors.

"Wait, Terry that was-Malfoy stop-" Hermione said, taking a step toward him, but he kept walking until he was out of the common room. Hermione rounded on Terry then, a furious look on her face that made Terry take a step toward his bedroom door. "How could you say something so cruel? He's just as good, Terry; he's just as good as you and he's good enough for me!" Hermione was the next to leave the common room, looking both ways down the corridor and trying to decide which way Malfoy would have gone. She went left, hoping it was right, and jogged down the corridor to catch up with him. He was absolutely crazy, walking out of the common room in the middle of the night. If Filch caught them they would be in huge trouble. Hermione caught sight of bright blonde hair ahead of her and she began to jog faster. "Malfoy, stop!" she called, her voice barely above a whisper but it was loud enough in the nearly silent corridor. Malfoy just kept walking faster. "Malfoy, stop-Please-I said stop, Draco!" And that was when he froze. It was the first time she'd used his first name to address him and Hermione could tell that it surprised him as much as it surprised her. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? If you really think I'm trying to hurt you, I'm sorry. But I'm not, Malfoy,"

He turned to face her then as Hermione took a few more steps toward her so they weren't so far apart. He had a shocked and slightly confused expression on his face. "Granger I don't-" He stopped quickly and looked around frowning. "I don't need you to be sorry, Granger. I shouldn't have said all that I did and I know that. It's my own fault,"

"Well I shouldn't have said what I did, still. In my opinion we should just-"

"Did you hear that?" he interrupted quickly, looking around again and frowning. "I thought I heard-"

Hermione froze then too and her eyes widened slightly. "Footsteps," she whispered. "Oh I knew I shouldn't have come out; I knew leaving the common room was a mistake at this time of the night-"

She was cut off by Malfoy grabbing her arm and pulling her through the nearest door. He shut it quietly and stepped back, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. "Of course," he said angrily, looking like he was speaking to himself. "Of course the closest damn room to hide in is a broom closet,"

"Malfoy shut up and stop moving," Hermione instructed. "You're going to knock a bucket over or something and if that's Filch out there he'll definitely find us," Malfoy rolled his eyes, though Hermione could barely tell in the darkness. "When he passes, let's go back to the common room okay? And we don't have to talk about being friends again, I know it makes you upset or something so-"

"It makes me upset, Granger, because I-" Malfoy hesitated as the footsteps they'd heard got closer. "-almost feel sure that I..." He stopped again and Hermione stared at him. He made a small movement that Hermione was sure was the shake of his head, but again in the dark she couldn't be sure. "...want that too," he whispered, sounding just as angry as he had earlier.

"Well don't sound so excited, Malfoy," Hermione said, frowning. If he'd said it a different way then maybe she would have been happier, but he sounded incredibly upset about possibly wanting to be her friend.

"Shut up, Granger," he said, still sounding angry but letting out a small sigh of what Hermione assumed was relief as the footsteps got fainter. "I don't know how you haven't noticed that, but things like this aren't exactly-"

"Easy for you, I know. You've never really been one to say all you're thinking, have you?"

"No. And don't expect that to change if we do become-"

"Friends," she said for him, as she knew he would scowl at the word. "Malfoy if it makes you uncomfortable then we don't have to-"

He ran a hand through his already messed up hair and sighed again. "I don't know exactly how it makes me feel, Granger. But I guess I'll figure it out then, won't I?"

"What?"

"We can try it, I guess. I don't really want you to go telling everyone because they'll only hate me more and I don't need that. And don't expect me to act any differently, but I guess we can call each other that,"

"Friends, you mean,"

"Obviously,"

Hermione smiled slightly before looking toward the door. "Do you think they're gone yet? Whoever it was? Can we please go back to the common room?"

Malfoy didn't respond, he simply opened the door and walked out without hesitation. He turned to her and raised an eyebrow when she didn't follow him right away, though he nodded down the corridor and Hermione finally stepped out of the closet. They walked back through the dark corridors in silence, as neither was really sure what to say about their new situation. When they arrived back Malfoy went in first and walked to his chair, sitting down almost immediately. Hermione paused by the door, her gaze caught on him. He glanced at her after a few seconds and frowned. "Why are you staring at me?"

"There's just something I was wondering,"

"Spit it out then, Granger,"

"Well it's just that you know what we said about friends yesterday, and caring and-" Malfoy rolled his eyes but he didn't say anything and Hermione folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes slightly. "I wanted to know if that meant that you-"

"Before you finish that sentence, Granger, I would advise you to think about the fact that Boot was up not to long ago and he could be listening right now,"

Hermione frowned at him. "But do you?"

"Why do you need to know this so badly, Granger?"

"I'm just curious. About whether you're doing this do just get me to shut up or..."

"I will never say this again, Granger," he said quietly, glancing at Terry's door. "But it's not just to get you to shut up. Now though, I would appreciate it if you stopped talking,"

With a small nod, Hermione walked into her room, grabbed her book, a replacement for the first one, and her blanket before walking back to the common room. She sat down at her spot on the sofa, wondering how to feel about the night, before noticing that Malfoy was already starting to fall asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

It didn't take long for things to become normal once he'd agreed to be friends with Granger. In the past three and a half weeks they'd fallen into a routine that they couldn't seem to get out of, but Draco was pleased with the fact that there was something constant about each of his days. And the fact that Granger was starting to get a little more normal was helpful as well, though she was starting to sleep a bit longer which was confusing. It was good, Draco couldn't argue with that, because it meant she was sleeping a little more, but now he didn't know exactly when to wake up in the early hours of the morning. She was starting to look a little better because of that though, not as tired, but Draco just kept getting up at midnight so he still looked like he hadn't slept in days. He had, but only for a few hours at a time. It was starting to take its toll, but until he was certain Granger could sleep through the night he wasn't going to stop getting up.

They sat together in Arithmancy, that much had stayed the same, though Granger came over and worked at the same table as him in Potions on Wednesdays. It had caused a lot of stares the first time it had happened which kept Draco frustrated, but Granger didn't seem to be bothered by it too much. She just worked away, ignoring the stares and occasionally saying something to him about the potion they were brewing. The following Wednesday she'd done the same thing and while less people had stared, those that did started to glare at him. And the Wednesday after that, Draco had been told to leave her alone. Though there really wasn't much he could do to stop her; Granger wanted to be his friend for some reason that Draco couldn't even begin to understand, and what confused him even more was that he wanted her to be. Every now and then he would walk her to class or to the great hall for a meal, but that was the extent of what Draco did around other people. He didn't go up and start conversations with her, which Granger had done two or three times to him, and he never smiled at her even though Granger smiled at him at least once a day. Most of the time she rolled her eyes as he told her his reasoning, that others would hate it if they understood what was going on, and she often told him to ignore the other people. Which, he would retaliate most days, was a good lesson for her to learn.

Though in the short time they had been friends, Granger had definitely broken his rule about not telling everybody. She made it fairly clear that something had changed between them, even if others didn't know what that was. The only thing that kept Draco from getting too frustrated with her was the fact that she was at least acting more like herself now. She was starting to go back to the same annoying Granger he'd always hated, even though at times she was quite obviously changed, but at least he didn't hate her. In fact, when she started acting more like herself he would almost smile, because he figured that meant she was getting better.

Nearly a month had passed since their situation changed, and Draco was beginning to dread the holidays more than ever. For starters, that night was Abbott's absolutely ridiculous party that he'd heard about nonstop since McGonagall had agreed to it, and Draco was forced to go along with the other delegates. Granger wasn't too pleased about that either, but she complained about it more than he did. The next day he would be going home for three weeks; Christmas was one away and on the twenty-eighth his father would be going to trial at the Ministry. Draco still hadn't decided if he was going to actually go, though letters from his mother had become more and more frequent, begging him to come and vouch for his father. And that was something he definitely didn't want to do.

Then again, awkwardly sitting with Boot in the common room wasn't something he wanted to do either. But Abbott had dragged Granger into the bathroom before they'd seen the two, and when he and Boot had entered the common room they'd been able to hear the rising argument from the bathroom. Apparently Abbott wanted to do something to Granger's hair that Granger didn't want, but they'd been in there for about hour now. At least the yelling had subsided after a while, though every now and then Abbott would yell for Granger to sit down. It made Draco rather glad, listening to them fighting, that he didn't have to deal with things like that.

Granger and Abbott finally came out about fifteen minutes before they were supposed to be in the great hall for Abbott's stupid party to start. Boot smiled and stood up when he saw the two girls, but Draco sat in his chair for a moment. Abbott looked normal and a bit pretty, he guessed, in a dress that looked a little to fancy for the party, but then again he would guess most girls would want to look like she did. Granger, on the other hand, looked incredibly irritated. If it weren't for her expression he would say that she looked elegant, but he figured that would annoy her.

Boot and Abbott left first with a cautious look at Granger, and she sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "Hannah wanted to do my hair," she said, frowning.

"So that was what the arguing was about?"

"You heard that?"

"Well you were both screaming pretty loud,"

"Oh, well, yes,"

Draco nodded, unsure of what to say before nodding to the door. "Shall we then?"

"Are you sure we can't just avoid the great hall?"

"I would if I wasn't sure McGonagall was going to throw an absolute fit if we didn't,"

Granger sighed again and walked into the corridor. Draco followed her, beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. "It looks nice, whatever Abbott did to it,"

She looked at him and frowned again. "Don't tell her that. Promise me, otherwise she might try to do it again,"

"Why would I tell her?"

"I don't know, why would you tell me it looks nice?"

"I just thought that maybe you'd want to know so you wouldn't look so angry,"

Granger rolled her eyes again and Draco decided it might be wise to keep his mouth shut. He didn't like Granger as much when she was angry, mainly because it meant that she was likely to snap at him. "If I wanted to do something with my hair, I would have gone to get ready with Ginny,"

Draco shrugged and kept his silence as they continued to walk to the great hall. Granger gradually began to look calmer as they got closer, though she fidgeted with her smoothed hair and frowned every now and then. Draco stayed behind at the doors and watched as Granger frowned at him before she walked into the party. It was going to be a crowded mess, quite simply, and he needed another minute or so before he went into a room full of people who hated him. Besides, he knew that Granger would probably go off and find Potter and hang around him most of the night, so he would be alone. She'd been getting closer with Potter again, which Draco knew made her happy and it pleased him as well. Potter still regarded him coolly but he was definitely better than most.

Professor McGonagall came up behind him and cleared her throat. "Are you going in, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Possibly. Soon, maybe, I don't know," he answered, narrowing his eyes at the door.

"I would advise you go in soon; Miss Abbott will not be pleased if you're not there,"

"As if I actually give a damn what Abbott wants,"

"Language, Mr. Malfoy,"

"Whatever,"

"You are expected to go in, you know that, right? It was agreed upon in the last meeting. You all are supposed to use the opportunity to-"

"Speak with members of other houses and try and find out more about what's causing problems. I know. But no one in there really wants to talk to me, so it's rather pointless,"

"I expect Miss Granger would be willing to speak to you,"

"Excuse me?"

"Is it wrong to assume that you and Miss Granger are friends?" she asked, offering Draco a rare smile that made him frown. "I had hoped something like this would happen,"

"What?" Draco asked, not really caring that he was beginning to sound a bit stupid. McGonagall didn't answer, she just walked into the great hall with a grim look on her face. It was obvious how much she wanted to avoid Abbott's party but she couldn't, nor could he. And with that thought, he slipped through the doors after her.

Draco spent the majority of his night leaning against the wall with a frown on his face. Other students were milling about and talking excitedly, so it was definitely different than the usual feast. Draco preferred the feast though, as there was less of a chance of someone coming up to him. Three fourth years had already come up and tried to start a fight, but Draco had managed to keep his cool. He knew that Granger wouldn't be thrilled if he got angry with them, so he ignored most of what they were saying. He could see Weasley glaring at him, but that was normal. And he'd quickly spotted Granger talking with Potter mostly, though every now and then she would be dragged into a conversation by someone. Boot and Abbott seemed to be in constant conversation too, so maybe the plan was actually going to work. A bit. Draco didn't care enough to think too hard about it.

As the night dragged on and Draco got more and more bored with the loud chatter of the hall and the laughs that kept erupting from different areas, he kept edging closer to the door. He knew he would be able to slip out unnoticed, as there wasn't anyone paying attention to him, and he was ready to go back to the common room and go to bed. He'd have to be up early anyway and he was ready for sleep. However that was the moment that Granger chose to look at him and smile slightly. She said something to Longbottom and Lovegood, who she'd been speaking with, and began to make her way through the crowd. At the very least she looked happier than she had when they'd left the common room. "Shall we?" she asked when she reached him.

"Shall we what?" he asked, frowning at her.

"Well I figure if we leave now, no one's really going to notice,"

"Yes, that's a great idea Granger. Let's go back to the common room and have McGonagall storm in and catch us skipping the end of the party,"

Granger rolled her eyes and smiled at him; she seemed like she was in a pretty good mood now. "I never said we should go to the common room, Malfoy,"

It began to sound like a better idea than it originally had. "Where do you suggest we go then?"

"Kitchens, maybe? It sounds like a good time for hot chocolate,"

Draco raised an eyebrow and watched Granger reach out to grab his hand. He almost protested, but as she pulled him out of the hall he decided it was his best escape. She let go of his hand as soon as they were out of the great hall and Draco shoved his hands into his pockets, following her down a flight of stairs. "How do you know where the kitchens are?"

"I went there a few times with Harry and Ron," she said, shrugging. There was more silence that actually wasn't too awkward as they walked into the kitchens. Granger looked guilty as she asked the house elves where she could make a drink, and they immediately began asking what it was she wanted. Granger obviously wanted to do it herself though so she argued with a small house elf for about five minutes before the house elf relented. "I don't like making them do things for me," she explained quietly. "Especially not after-"

Granger stopped quickly, shook her head, and continued making her hot chocolate. "After what?" Draco asked, slightly curious. It wasn't often that Granger just stopped talking, and it looked like something was bothering her.

"Well, I..." she looked at him guiltily then, which made Draco frown. He had a feeling he knew where the conversation was heading, as it wasn't often that Granger looked at him guiltily, but he couldn't just take back his question. "Dobby, the house elf who rescued us from your house last year, he died doing it. I hate thinking he died only because I couldn't get myself out of what was happening, but it started before that," Granger said quickly, noticing the expression on his face. "I tried to start an organization, S.P.E.W. a few years ago, but it didn't work. It was supposed to give house elves rights but, well, it kind of fell apart,"

"Granger I-"

"Listen, let's just not talk about it okay? I'd rather not think about what happened right before I go off to Australia for a week,"

"You're going where?"

"Australia," she shrugged, holding up a mug and offering it to him. "Shall we go sit outside and drink this?"

He nodded stiffly and followed her out of the kitchens, frowning. "Why are you going to Australia?"

"I have things to do there,"

"What things?"

"Malfoy that's another thing I don't really want to talk about,"

"Well then why bring it up?"

"I don't know, to give a reason as to why I don't want to think about something horrible? I'm going to be alone down there and I definitely don't need to be thinking about the war,"

"You think about the war no matter what you do, Granger,"

Granger narrowed her eyes at him as they walked outside of the castle. "Can we not fight tonight? I'm not in the mood,"

"You've been in a foul mood all night-"

"I was perfectly fine up until a few minutes ago,"

"You looked like you were about to murder someone walking out of the common room earlier,"

"Well you didn't have to keep pushing about my plans-"

"Oh that was not pushing, Granger-"

"Yes it was!"

"Well maybe if you weren't so secretive about everything then I wouldn't have to push!"

"Oh I'm secretive? How about you tell me what you're doing over vacation? I mean, if you want to share secrets, Malfoy, why don't you go first?"

For a split second he considered telling her about what he was still debating involving his father, but then it would seem like she'd win and he didn't really feel like sharing anyway. "Because, Granger, I asked you first," he retorted weakly, making her roll her eyes.

"And you say I'm-"

"Didn't you say you didn't want to fight? Because I'm really not in the mood for that either,"

"Malfoy-" He shoved his cup into her hands and walked away, hearing a hiss escape her lips. He realized that some of the hot chocolate must have spilt on her, and for a moment he felt bad, but he really just wanted to get away from her. "I'm going to find my parents," she said loudly. Draco turned around rather quickly to see her holding the two drinks far away from her body and looking down at the stain on the dress she was wearing.

"What?"

"That's what I'm going to Australia for, to find my parents,"

"Why don't you know where your parents are?"

"I-" she hesitated and Draco frowned.

"You don't have to actually tell me, you know," he said quietly. "It's up to you,"

"No, I think... I think we should be honest with each other. It'll make us better friends,"

"All right,"

"I wiped their memories," she said, glaring at the ground. "Before the war started. I'd told them all about Harry and Ron and I thought it was safer... and I made sure they went out of the country. I thought it would be easy to find them once everything was over, but so far I've had no luck,"

"That doesn't sound...pleasant," he said, unsure of what else he really could say. He never would have been able to tell Granger something like that, so she obviously trusted him more than he trusted her. Even if it was only a little bit.

"It's not," she said.

Draco walked back to her and took his cup back, noting that it was half empty. A thick silence followed her words and for a while Draco was willing to let it, though after a while it became uncomfortable. It seemed like Granger was waiting for him to say something but he wasn't sure what, so he went with the first thing that came to his mind. "I'm going to my father's trial over the holiday," he said quickly, knowing that if he paused for too long he wouldn't tell her anything else. But for some reason he wanted the words to come out. "If I don't vouch for him he's going to go to Azkaban. Mother thinks that if I do he has a chance. I don't... I don't know what I'm going to do, Granger,"

She dropped her cup.


	27. Chapter 27

It wasn't his words that had surprised her so much, true she hadn't thought about trials for Death Eaters, but the fact that some of the worse ones were having them almost pleased her. No, what had surprised her were the giant spiders coming up from the forest and the smoke billowing up from the castle. That was why she'd dropped his cup, not because of what he'd said.

It was horrible, yes, what Malfoy was going to have to do involving his father; his mother never should have put the decision on him but there wasn't anything she could do about that now. First she had to deal with the large amount of fear that had swelled in her chest at the morphing scene before her eyes. "Really it's nothing to break a cup over," he muttered, frowning at her. Hermione said nothing but focused her gaze on Malfoy, remembering the time that had worked in the great hall. He raised an eyebrow when he realized she was staring. "Will you stop looking at me like that? Granger?"

"I'm sorry, I-It helps sometimes-" she said, her eyes widening as she began to shake. It took a lot for her to begin with to understand that she was just shaking and it wasn't because a giant was stumbling around. By the time she'd realized that she'd gone back to staring at Malfoy.

His face had turned a light shade of pink and he looked uncomfortable, but he didn't avoid her gaze. "Well then just talk to me, Granger," he instructed.

"What?"

"Just tell me about something," he said, beginning to sound frustrated. "It helps, I promise,"

"I don't know what to say,"

"Anything. Tell me about-" he paused and frowned. "Tell me about how Potter's doing,"

"Harry?"

"Well I can't really think of anything else,"

"He's-He's good," she said, watching Malfoy stare intently back at her. "He's happy with Ginny, really happy, and he's definitely less stressed now that Voldemort's gone and the war's over,"

"I think everyone's less stressed, really,"

"I agree,"

"So tell me something else,"

"He says Ron feels bad about what happened," she said, frowning at the scowl on Malfoy's face. "You know I'll be friends with him again one day, right? It would be too hard to just forget the past seven years,"

"I understand. But that doesn't mean I have to like it," Hermione soon lost track of time as she talked about Harry. The scene had long since melted away but for some reason she'd just kept speaking. Maybe it was to fill Malfoy's silence or maybe it was to hear something as reassuring as the sound of her own voice. Eventually, though, she trailed off and Malfoy blinked. "Is it done?"

"It was done a while ago," He raised his eyebrows but didn't speak, so Hermione opened her mouth again. "How did you know that would work?"

Malfoy shrugged and for a moment Hermione was she he was hiding something. "I read it somewhere, probably. I don't really know, Granger, I just thought it could help you,"

Hermione nodded and looked down at the broken cup at her feet. With a wave of her wand she fixed it and bent over to pick the cup up. "Looks like hot chocolate wasn't a good idea," she muttered, frowning. "I'm sorry for dragging you out here. It wasn't worth it,"

"It got me out of Abbott's damn party,"

"Either way I shouldn't have-"

"Just stop, Granger, will you?" he asked, sighing heavily. "I don't care about whatever you're about to apologize for, got it? You don't have to do that every five seconds, it's infuriating," Hermione just stared at him as he pulled out his wand and waved it, their cups disappearing. "Go get cleaned up and then go to bed, Granger,"

"You can't tell me what to do," she muttered defiantly.

"Just do it. That or stop standing there and looking all embarrassed and-"

"Well I think I have every right to be embarrassed about what just happened!"

"No, you have every right to not be perfectly put together at every single hour of the damn day!"

Hermione honestly didn't know what she'd done in the past five minutes that had made him go from telling her something as personal as what was going on with his father to yelling at her, but she did know that she was beyond irritated. It wasn't as if she wanted to be stuck in the battle at the worst times every day and she was allowed to be upset and embarrassed when it happened. Especially when it happened around Malfoy; he'd been watching her struggle to get her life back to normal for far too long and she didn't want him to see her weak anymore. Harry and Ron hadn't seen it all that often, so why should he? "I don't exactly enjoy being weak, Malfoy-"

"Weak?" he asked, laughing coldly as his eyes narrowed. Something told Hermione in that moment that it wasn't really her Malfoy was mad at, but apparently she was about to be what he would take his frustration out on. "Do you want to know what weak is, Granger?"

"I already-"  
"Weak is relying on your son to bail you out of your mistakes. Weak is allowing people to be tortured, or killed, in front of your eyes and not doing a single thing to help. Weak is doing something wrong when you're too damn afraid to do what's right. And I swear, Granger, if you even try to say that any of that can apply to you then I will not hesitate to-"

"To what? As if you'd actually use a spell on me,"

"-tell Potter and McGonagall about your nightmares. About how often you wake up _screaming_ bloody murder. Don't think I won't,"

"Malfoy-"

"Just _shut up_ and go to bed!" he yelled.

Hermione's eyes narrowed and she turned away from Malfoy, walking into the castle and back into the party. There was no way she was going to actually follow his instructions, not after he'd yelled at her and been the same ass he'd been in previous years. Malfoy would probably yell at her more than he already had if he found out that she'd gone back in and while she didn't want to, she found her way to Harry. He greeted her rather pleasantly and turned back to talk to Neville and Luna, which didn't surprise her.

By the time the party was over and Hermione had assisted with the cleanup along with Terry and Hannah, she was absolutely exhausted. It was nearing midnight, she'd been up for nearly an entire day, and the fact that she'd argued with Malfoy was still weighing heavily on her mind. She hadn't wanted to, not really. She'd intended on asking him about-Oh- "I have to go," she said suddenly, watching astonishment bloom on Hannah and Terry's faces. They'd decided on walking back to the common room together and it was quite a pleasant conversation too, or at least Hermione thought it was. She hadn't really been listening.

"Hermione?" Hannah asked as Hermione began to walk faster. She had to get to the common room before Terry and Hannah, otherwise she couldn't go pounding on Malfoy's door to try and get him to talk to her. How absolutely _insensitive_ could she be? He'd told her that his father was having a trial and instead of thinking about anything to say to him, after her horribly timed flashback, she'd gone off and gotten in an argument with him. He'd told her, something that Hermione could only assume was as hard for him as it had been for her to tell him what had happened to her own parents, and she hadn't bothered to say a thing about it. Yes she couldn't have remembered it straight away but the fact that she hadn't remembered sooner bothered her. If something like that had happened with another one of her friend's parents then she was sure she would have mentioned it.

She was at his door after what seemed like only an instant. He was in there, he had to be, probably asleep and still irritated with her, but Hermione had a few things to say. And she had to get them out before she lost the courage to do so. And so she began pounding on his door. "Malfoy! Malfoy, I know you're in there-Let me in, we've got to talk!"

It went on for far too long before the bathroom door opened and Malfoy came out looking just as irritated as he had earlier. "Do you want to explain to me why the hell you're knocking on my door and screaming at this time of night?"

"I wanted to talk to you,"

"I got that part, Granger, because believe or not your shrill voice didn't actually blow out my eardrums,"

Her eyes narrowed slightly but she didn't say anything on the matter. "So can we-"

Terry and Hannah walked in then, giving Hermione a rather confused look before Terry glared at Malfoy. "What are you two doing?"

"As if that's any of your business," Malfoy said, throwing a glare right back at him.

"Well I believe it-"

"Terry we should just go to bed. Leave them to it or whatever," Hannah suggested. One look from Terry had her staring at the ground and rolling her eyes.

"You two have been so suspicious this year. Getting into fights at three in the morning and actually speaking to each other as if you're friends or something,"

"People are allowed to change, Terry," Hermione muttered.

"Not people like him," Terry said, gesturing angrily at Malfoy and glaring even more. "Not people who-"

"Terry leave him alone," Hannah said, beginning to be quite irritated herself. "He didn't do anything,"

"Didn't do anything, Hannah? Do we need to talk about what happened last year?"

Malfoy's face paled considerably and Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You know, Terry," Hannah said, sounding as angry as Malfoy had. "There's a thing you should learn, two or them actually. Sympathy and forgiveness. What you're doing is the kind of thing that starts another war,"

With a loud slam of a door, Hannah was in her room and Terry wasn't far behind her. "Malfoy-"

"Leave me the hell alone, Granger," Malfoy said quietly, shoving past her and into his room. If she hadn't stuck her foot in the door then Hermione was sure that would have been the end of the night. Malfoy would have shut her out and Hermione was sure he wouldn't have come into the common room like normal. But her foot was stuck in the door and she swore loudly and all of the sudden Malfoy was opening it again. "What part of-"

"I have something to say,"

"Well then spit it out,"

"I-"

There was a long pause in which Malfoy scoffed and rolled his eyes, attempting to shut his door again. This time Hermione wedged herself halfway into his room. "Bloody hell, Granger, can't you understand that I don't want you in here?" Her eyes narrowed as she prepared to speak again, and Malfoy tried shoving her out. "What do you-"

"I want to talk about what you mentioned about your father,"

"I'm not talking about him,"

"Well then you shouldn't have mentioned it," she said defiantly.

"Granger-"

"We're supposed to be friends,"

"And?"

"And friends, Malfoy, they talk to each other about the things that are bothering them,"

"It's not bothering me,"

"Oh the hell it's not. I don't know if you've realized this, but we've gone to school together for six and a half years now. It's pretty obvious to tell when something's bothering you,"

"No it's-"

"Malfoy,"

"Just leave me alone, Granger,"

"Not until you actually talk to me,"

And that was how she found herself sitting on the floor by Malfoy's fireplace as he stared at her from his bed. He had the most uncomfortable look on his face that she'd ever seen and Hermione knew she was beginning to turn red as well. She didn't know why he had such a problem with her being in his room and she didn't know why it was making her unable to look at her for the time being; she'd been in Ron's room before, alone. This was hardly any different.

For a while they sat in silence, neither looking at each other. Or at least Hermione assumed Malfoy wasn't looking at her; she couldn't feel his eyes on her. It took her a while to form a question and she knew that Malfoy was getting frustrated again; his sighs gave him away. "Your father," she said finally, glancing at Malfoy and watching him stiffen. "I want to talk about what you told me,"


	28. Chapter 28

It was, perhaps, the most uncomfortable conversation of Draco's life. Granger wanted to talk about his father; he hadn't wanted to mention him after that slip outside the castle. Yet she'd forced her way into his room _again_, breaking his rule _again_, and forcing Draco to talk about something he really didn't want to think about until the day it happened. She'd been curious, mostly, and she'd told him to do what felt right. That was all until her sentences had stopped coming so frequently. It took Draco about ten minutes to realize that she'd fallen asleep on the floor of his bedroom; he'd simply thought that she'd been trying to figure out what to say next.

Draco had stared at her in horror for a long time. She was sleeping. On his floor. And he couldn't exactly wake her up to force her out, because what was he supposed to say? _Get out of my room, I don't want you here? I'm not comfortable with this so just leave?_ As if he really wanted Granger to know just how uncomfortable she was making him by being in his room. He didn't want to go out and sleep in the common room either; his chair wasn't the best place to sleep in. He always ended up with a stiff neck and an aching back, not that he would tell Granger that either. She would insist that he stay in his room every night and she would probably try and stay in her own so that he wouldn't come out. That wasn't an option though; some of the most relaxing times in his day were the ones where he was debating something with Granger.

After deciding he didn't have much of a choice, Draco pulled the blanket off his bed and carefully placed it over her. He didn't want to wake her with the action, as for once she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. He wondered then, how she could have nightmares, but there was no way he was going to find out. Draco didn't plan on asking Granger any more about her sleeping habits. He climbed back into his own bed frowning, before laying down and attempting to fall asleep. It was rather difficult; he was used to only the occasional creaking sounds but now there was the steady sound of Granger's breathing. She was sleeping in his room; how could she possibly be comfortable with this? How could anyone, really?

Sleep did eventually come though, much to Draco's surprise, and he discovered it wasn't too bad with Granger there. He was aware though, as she was in the corner of his dream watching the events unfold. It was unusal; Granger had never entered his dreams before and all the sudden she was there, simply because she was in the room with him. It was a rather odd dream for Granger to be in; a Christmas from when he was six years old. That one had been awful, though Draco preferred not to think about why.

The quiet sound of whimpering woke Draco almost instantly; he obviously hadn't been sleeping very deeply. He looked around, confused, before seeing Granger curled up on the floor. Draco fumbled for his wand on his nightstand before casting a quick silencing spell on the room. He hadn't thought about what would happen when she woke up earlier and there was no doubt in his mind that Boot and Abbott would hear her scream and then come running. They already hated him enough-Though Abbott definitely seemed to hate him a little less. Had she actually stood up to Boot about being rude? Maybe he'd been imagining things; he'd have to ask-

Granger's loud shriek had him covering his ears to try and block out her noise. How on earth could she scream so loudly and not be hoarse every morning? And how did her scream not just shatter the silencing spell? Draco fell off his bed as he scrambled to get to her; she had to stop screaming otherwise the noise would never stop echoing in his head. "Granger, shut up!" he yelled, shaking her shoulders and praying that she would just open her damn eyes. "Granger-"

After a moment of shaking her shoulders, her eyes opened and Draco could see nothing but fear in them. It was horrifying to see how she was affected by her nightmares; he'd only ever seen her after she'd calmed down. "Malfoy-"

"Just calm down, Granger, please," he said, staring at her with wide eyes that matched her own. "Just calm down, I-" he hesitated before moving his hand to grip her own. "-I'm here or whatever, okay?"

She stared at him, nodding before sitting up and closing her eyes. She shook her head slightly and sighed before letting out a shaky, "I'm sorry,"

"You're what?"

"Sorry. I-I fell asleep in here and I shouldn't have done that-" She was steadily turning red which made Draco roll his eyes. Yes he'd been upset about it but he hadn't thought that Granger would care all too much. "And then I woke you up with my screaming; I-"

"Granger it wasn't your screaming. You were whimpering earlier,"

"You heard that?"

"I wasn't sleeping well,"

"Why?"

"I-Well that's not important," he decided, frowning. "Granger what were you dreaming about this time?"

"That's not important,"

Draco frowned; he obviously wasn't going to get anywhere this time. She looked horribly embarrassed which didn't really suit her, and he couldn't really figure out why. Sure there was the nightmare and the screaming and the whimpering, but he thought they were past that by now. "Why do you still look like that?"

"Malfoy you're-" She stopped and glanced down. "-you're holding my hand,"

He looked down too and quickly jumped away from her, releasing her hand and staring at his own in anger. It had felt so normal to him; why would it have felt so normal? Not that he could tell her that; Granger would make a bigger deal out of it than she should. "I didn't mean to," he said, which was the closest form of an apology that she would get. It had probably disgusted her, that would be his best guess.

"Then why were you holding it?" He opened his mouth to respond and promptly closed it again. "I won't make fun of you, if that's what you're thinking,"

"Well I-You were screaming Granger and I just wanted it to stop; I didn't want to keep hearing-"

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with it,"

"-Hearing it," he continued, staring at his floor angrily. "Because it's been stuck in my head for a long time and I don't need a reminder,"

"But you've never-"

"I have,"

"Oh," she said simply. Draco knew that she was remembering what had happened when she'd been at his house by the expression on her face as he glanced at her. "You remember that?"

"Remember it? Of course I remember it,"

"I meant that you... Malfoy why would my scream by stuck in your head?" she asked carefully.

He stared at her then, regretting his words instantly. Of course he'd have to go and mention that; why would he ever let the words come out? No one knew that he felt guilty about that and he just had to go and tell Granger? Of all people, Granger. "Don't make me explain," he said, aware that his tone was pleading and absolutely hating himself for it.

There was a pause in which Draco looked out the window, but he knew Granger was looking at him. "All right. We don't have to talk about it,"

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You push on everything but this?"

"Well I don't really feel like fighting with you again, Malfoy. It's almost Christmas. Let's just keep the peace," He nodded slowly and got to his feet. Granger stood too, taking a step to the door and frowning at him. "I think I'm going to go to the common room,"

"I'll meet you out there in a moment,"

There was a hint of a smile on her lips, Draco saw, so he quickly shifted his gaze to the top of her head. "Okay," she said simply, slipping out of his room.

Considering where they'd been in the early hours of the morning, Draco was surprised that only a few hours later Granger had asked if they could walk down to the train together. He almost hadn't wanted to, as that meant walking with her in front of other people, but eventually he did agree. The walk was mostly silent, except for the few odd comments from Granger and his response to them. Draco didn't mind; he liked silence more than he liked most other things. And silence would give him time to think about what he was going to say to his parents about his father's trial without being killed by it.

Granger had wanted to write over the holiday but Draco knew that would cause a problem. If his parents saw him receiving letters then they would ask who they were from, which Draco didn't really care to explain. They would both be furious if they found out he was associating with someone who wasn't a pureblood or at least a half-blood. After a bit of debate there, he'd broken down and told her that she could only write in the early hours of the morning. His parents would be asleep then, he realized, and if he hid the letters he wouldn't have to worry about them being found. He could always burn them as well, but he didn't really want to do that.

They separated once they got to the train and Draco went to an empty compartment; he knew that Granger would be sitting with her other friends. She wouldn't think to sit with him, he knew, that was too much for the both of them to handle. At least it was too much for him to deal with; Granger would probably be fine sitting with him if he offered. He wasn't actually sure, though that was a question he pondered for much of the train ride. Which was infuriating; he was supposed to be thinking about how to tell his parents he didn't want to vouch for his father and he was getting nowhere on that front.

There were many excited parents at the platform when Draco climbed off the train, trunk scraping along behind him. There was no welcoming party for him though, in fact many people turned to glare at him as he passed. Draco glared right back, wishing that he could just disappear into the shadows. Those people would be glaring even more, he knew, if he'd been talking to Granger while still in their sight. He closed his eyes and apparated.

It was with a crack that he appeared in his bedroom at the Manor, scowling as he looked around to see the rather plain room. It was decorated with a lot of green and silver; it had been like that for as long as he could remember. He'd really wanted to be in Slytherin. Other than the colors, it was about as plain as his room at Hogwarts, only with a larger bed and a sitting area. His parents had most likely heard him come, though Draco couldn't imagine them coming in to say hello. Most of when his family saw each other was at meals, where they could focus on eating instead of talking. And once the eating was done Draco was out of the dining room and either in his own room or the library before his parents could even say his name. Really, they were a very close family.

A few days passed where the majority of Draco's entertainment came from the letter's he'd receive at one in the morning from Granger. She was in Australia, currently, and having no luck with her parents which Draco knew was upsetting her more than anything else. She was finding some way to be positive though, telling him that at least her parents would probably be having a good Christmas, and at least she would get to spend hers with Potter. Draco was only glad that she would have a decent holiday. She even wrote, on Christmas eve, that she hoped he would have a good Christmas as well and that she would be happy to see him when they returned to Hogwarts. Granger had even attached a small package, a tie he knew he would never wear, with the explanation that it was festive and she'd just wanted him to have one.

That was the only letter that Draco regretted not burning or hiding. No, he'd nearly smiled at what she'd written and left it laying on the floor by the chair in his room. That had been his mistake, leaving it laying around. How could he have known, though, that his parents would decide to try and find him there after lunch on Christmas day? How could he have known that his father would pick it up and read it and know exactly who it came from? He couldn't have known, at least not until his father stormed into the library to find him reading a book. His mother obviously wanted no part in whatever was about to happen, though Draco knew it couldn't be any good from the expression on his father's face.

"Why?" he'd asked simply, to which Draco had scowled. At the question he still didn't know that his father had been in his room.

"Why what?"

"Why are you getting letters from that filthy mudblood?"

His face had paled then. "Father I-"

"I do not care what you have to say about this. It is unacceptable. No son of mine would be found writing to a mudblood or having one write to him,"

"Don't call her that," he said quietly, knowing it was a fight he didn't want to pick. However if Granger found out he'd just let his father say those things she would be furious and Draco didn't really want to make her angry.

"Don't call her what, Draco?" his father sneered. "A mudblood? A filthy, disgusting, abomination of a-"

"I said don't call her that!" he said, standing up and dropping his book on the floor.

His father's eyes narrowed and he took a step toward Draco, the letter clutched tightly in his hand. "You will never write to that filth again, do you understand? If you do I-"

"You'll what?" Draco challenged, acting braver than he felt. He never really stood up to his father; his father would always be able to beat him in an argument. But Draco would try, at least for her. "Force me into things I don't want to be a part of?"

"Draco-"

"No, honestly, Father, what could you do that you haven't actually done?"

The first blow surprised Draco more than anything had that year. His father was not a good man, he wasn't even a decent one, but he'd never once hit Draco before. At least not so it hurt. "You will never speak to that girl again," he growled, tossing the letter to the side and taking a step back from him. Draco had a hand pressed up against his cheek and his eyes were wide with disbelief.

"No," he said quietly, his frown deepening.

"Good, Draco. Very good. Do not-"

"I mean no," he said again, a little louder that time.

"No what?"

"No I-I won't stop talking to her," he said, disbelief clear in his own voice. Granger certainly couldn't be important enough for him to risk the wrath of his father, could she? "At least she gives a damn about things that are happening, unlike-" His father stepped forward and slapped him, his anger becoming even more evident. "-You," he continued. "She needs-" The words would be the last he ever said to his father.


	29. Chapter 29

The past week had not been a good week for Hermione. First there was yet another failure in Australia, leaving her rather hopeless when it came to her parents. Then Malfoy had stopped returning her letters, leaving Hermione in a state of confusion every time she thought of him. She had no idea what she'd done to upset him or if it was even her fault. And then, walking through London with Teddy and Harry, people had assumed that she was a mother and complimented her on how nice her family was. The first time it had happened Hermione had barely managed to get out an indignant, "I'm only eighteen!" before Harry had started laughing hysterically. Teddy had, of course, started laughing then too.

They'd been stopped on muggle streets no less than nine times before Hermione had insisted on going to Diagon Alley. There, at least, she knew people would know who they were and wouldn't assume they were a family. Teddy had been thrilled to go and see the shops, as most of the magic he saw was with Andromeda. It was almost harder to keep track of him though, because he ran off to look in every window. Eventually Hermione had to pick him up and carry him around, which had Harry laughing again.

Teddy was babbling excitedly after being passed to Harry, who was pulling them into Quality Quidditch Supplies, though Hermione wasn't surprised by that. Andromeda and Harry had gotten him a training broom for Christmas which had quite obviously been the boy's favorite present. Hermione had a feeling too, that growing up with Harry as a godfather would leave the boy with no choice but to like quidditch. After nearly an hour of looking at brooms though, Hermione was growing irritated. "Come on," she muttered sighing. "Can't we go to Flourish and Blotts? Wouldn't you like to pick out a new story for bed tonight, Teddy?" It was something Hermione had been doing since she'd showed up on Christmas eve; Teddy seemed to love Hermione reading him stories before he fell asleep. It really had been kind of Andromeda Tonks to invite her to spend the remainder of the holiday with her, Teddy, and Harry. It had probably been at Harry's insistence too, but Hermione didn't mind. She was too relieved that she didn't have to be alone to care.

"Yes!" Teddy said excitedly. He put his small hands on both sides of Harry's face so he would look at him, which only made Harry grin. "I wanna go,"

It had to be the boy's favorite and most clear phrase and Hermione smiled when he said it. "Not even five more minutes?"

"No,"

And with that they left the quidditch shop and made their way to Flourish and Blotts. Hermione was instantly at ease as they stepped inside; she stopped letting the rather bad week affect her and she smiled. Books really were wonderful ways to calm down. Teddy pulled Harry over to look at a selection of books with brightly colored covers while Hermione went to the back of the store to look at a book she'd heard a few girls in her year excitedly talking about in the great hall. Everything was beginning to go perfectly now, and Hermione was pleased.

Until she saw familiar blond hair.

It had to be Malfoy, as Hermione knew no one else with that exact shade of hair. His face was hidden behind a book, a rather thick one at that, and she was sure he hadn't seen her. Hermione was unable to stay calm then. He'd just stopped returning her letters. It was like he'd dropped right off the face of the planet, just like her parents. And so, folding her arms across her chest and fixing a cold expression on her face, she walked up to him. "I see you have all of the time to do anything, except reply to my letters apparently," Hermione said coolly. Hermione's anger didn't really cool down, as he decided to ignore her and shift the book closer to her face. "Malfoy," she said, a large frown growing. "Malfoy, I'm trying to talk to you!"

"Go away," he muttered, his voice just as cool as her own.

"No, I-"

"Granger get the hell away from me,"

His tone shifted ever so slightly to something that almost resembled fear, though Hermione had no idea what he would be afraid of. "Malfoy why did you just stop-"

"I said _leave_,"

"Not until you talk to me!" she demanded, yanking the book out of his hands. In an instant she went from being angry to more furious than she had been in a while. "Malfoy-"

"What part," he said, standing up and sounding just as angry as she felt, "of go away do you not understand?" He was glaring at her, Hermione knew, though the fact that his right eye was partially swollen shut made it less clear. It wasn't just his eye though, in fact the entire right side of his face made her feel as if she wanted to throw up. "Stop bloody staring at me!" he said furiously.

Hermione blinked and tried to tear her gaze away, but it wasn't working well. He was slightly swollen and it was obvious that he'd been badly bruised, but it appeared the bruising was starting to heal itself because much of his skin was a yellow-green color. It was only then that she noticed the bulkiness of his left arm, though she didn't want to mention that now. He seemed upset enough about her even seeing his face. "What happened?"

"That's none of your-"

"It's my damn business, Malfoy, don't you dare say it's not,"

"Why would it be-"

"We're supposed to be friends, aren't we?" she asked, cutting him off again. "And friends are supposed to, oh I don't know, write a letter when they've been beaten to a pulp!"

"I wasn't beaten to a pulp," he muttered, glaring angrily at his shoes.

"Well it's pretty close!"

"Whatever, Granger. Can you just leave me alone now?"

"You obviously don't know me very well,"

"What?"

"Look at you, Malfoy. I want the full story-Don't you dare protest, I think I'm owed that much after you stopped writing me-and then I'm going to help you,"

"And how do you plan on doing that, Granger?"

"By healing those bruises, at least that's the start,"

"If I wanted them healed I would have done it myself,"

"Well then why haven't you?" He was silent, still not looking at her, and still angry. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to just tear his book away when he was trying to get her to go away, but Hermione was glad she had. She just wanted to know what had happened to make him look so dreadful and she wanted to help; he could use her help. "Mal-Draco," she said hesitantly, watching as his eyes snapped up to meet hers. She'd used his name only once before but using it felt right in the moment. "Just tell me what happened?"

"Not-" Hermione was prepared to hear him tell her no again and tell her that he just wanted her to leave. Instead, he said, "Not here,"

"Come back with me then, all right?"

"Come back? Where, Granger, do you expect me to go?"

"I'm staying with Harry and Andromeda Tonks-" The side of his face that wasn't bruised paled and Hermione frowned; he was doing that quite a bit lately, or at least it felt like he was. "Who I just realized is your aunt, isn't she," she muttered. Hermione had known that Andromeda was Malfoy's mother's sister, but for some reason she hadn't made the connection that they wouldn't have been a close family. "I'm sure that if she saw you like this then she wouldn't object,"

"I'm not going there," he said once she'd finished. "Especially if Potter's going to be there too,"

"Is now really the time for-"

There was a sudden cry from a few shelves over, one that sounded far to familiar to Hermione. "Ne!" Teddy screamed. Hermione could hear Harry trying to calm the little boy down, but he'd never been amazing at that. "Ne!" He couldn't say her full name, it was too complicated for him and they'd all agreed that the last two letters would work.

"What on earth is that?" Malfoy asked, looking around with an expression that Hermione was sure was surprised.

"Teddy," Hermione said, looking to the shelf. She was about to run off to go find him and make sure everything was all right, but she had a feeling Malfoy would run off if she left him. "Come on then," she said reaching out and grabbing his arm. Malfoy shrunk back almost immediately, a hissing noise escaping his teeth before Hermione released him. "What-"

"That bloody hurts, Granger!" he said angrily, holding his arm against his chest.

"What-Oh just explain later," Hermione rolled her eyes and grabbed his other arm, the right one, and pulled him toward the sound of the crying before Malfoy could say a word about it.

Teddy was still crying when they reached him and Harry, and Harry looked so relieved to see her he barely even looked at Malfoy. "He dropped a book on his foot," Harry explained quickly. "And then it bounced back up and knocked more off the shelf,"

Hermione sighed and bent down to pick up the crying toddler, who sniffed and hugged her tightly. He mumbled something that Hermione was sure meant something like _I didn't mean to_, though she already knew that. "It's all right," she whispered, trying to remember the right way to calm down children. She'd watched a few children during summer vacations for extra money for books, but it had been a while since she'd dealt with one his age. For a few minutes, as she got Teddy to stop crying, Harry and Malfoy just stared at her. It wasn't until Teddy finally giggled at something Hermione was saying that the two boys looked at each other.

Malfoy's face hardened almost immediately, but Harry simply looked shocked. "What-"

"Harry, I doubt he really wants to talk about it with you," she said quietly.

"But his-Hermione look at his _face_,"

"Unless Granger's blind, Potter, she's already seen it,"

Hermione threw him a glare. She wasn't entirely sure how Harry and Malfoy would act together, now that the war was over and especially now that Hermione was friends with both of them. She was hoping that meant they would be nice to each other, but there was no way to be sure. "Tired?" Teddy asked quietly, poking at her cheek and frowning.

"Just a bit Teddy," she whispered, watching nervously as Harry and Malfoy stared each other down. "And you?"

"Yes," he said, nodding slowly.

"Harry," Hermione said, taking his attention away from Malfoy. "Why don't you take Teddy back? He's getting tired,"

"Aren't you going to come?"

"No," she said, hoping it would end there. But Harry gave her a questioning look and opened his mouth to speak. "We have something to discuss," Hermione said, nodding toward Malfoy. She handed Teddy to Harry, who also gave her a confused look, but he smiled slightly a moment later.

"Bye-bye," Teddy said, waving as Harry carried him out of the shop.

"You're coming with me," Hermione said after they were out of earshot.

"Granger I really think you should just go back with-"

"I will not leave you here in this state," she said quietly. "And you're just going to have to deal with that,"

"But I-"

"What part of you're going to have to deal with it do you not understand?"

He stared at her for a moment, frowning. "Where are we going?"

"Corner of the Leaky Cauldron," she said, leading him out of Flourish and Blotts and toward the Leaky Cauldron. "And if you have a problem with that, well, then you'll have to figure out where we're going yourself," For a moment Hermione was afraid they were going to start arguing again, as she knew that she was irritated with him and he was irritated with her, but Malfoy only shrugged and followed her. He didn't seem to be in the mood for an argument which was good because Hermione wasn't either. The Leaky Cauldron was quite crowded when they entered it and Hermione saw quite a few eyes look at them with surprise, though Hermione sent a small glare back in their direction and led Malfoy to an empty seat. He stared at her, looking as uncomfortable as he had when she'd gone into his room. Hermione still couldn't believe that she'd slept in his room before the holiday; it was so incredibly unlike her to just fall asleep anywhere, though she had been very tired. She pulled out a small purse, much like the one she'd used last year, and began digging around in it. The best thing to heal his bruises would be the bruise removal paste that Fred and George had invented and Hermione knew that she had some in her bag.

"Maybe we shouldn't be here," Malfoy said. With anyone else Hermione would have been sure they were nervous, but he sounded calmer than he had the previous times he'd spoken to her.

"Why?"

"People are staring, Granger, and I don't need any rumors flying around. Not after the Daily Prophet this morning,"

Hermione blinked and paused her search as she looked at him. "What happened in the Daily Prophet this morning?" she asked. Malfoy stared at her, raising an eyebrow, and Hermione scowled. "Oh, please. You try being in a house with a two year old and getting to read the paper in the morning. I haven't looked at it since I got there; all Teddy wants to do is play. And not even with Harry right now, with me because apparently Harry's too good at chasing games or-" She realized she was rambling and found Malfoy to be rolling his eyes. "I take it you want me to shut up about him?"

"No, go on," he urged, beginning to smirk but looking slightly pained at doing so. "The longer you talk, the less I have to,"

"Right," Hermione muttered, resuming her search. "I still expect you to tell me the entire story,"

"Somehow I doubt that will happen,"

"Somehow I doubt you'll get out of my sight if it doesn't,"

"Granger I really don't need to talk through this,"

"Sure you don't," she said, rolling her eyes. "But you're going to, for my sake. I have a tendency to worry about my friends when they're hurt and if you don't explain to me what happened then I'm afraid I'll have to-"

"I get the point, Granger," he said, staring at her hand warily as she pulled out the small container. "What is that?"

"It'll get rid of the bruises," she said, not wanting to tell him that it was Fred and George who created it. Hermione was half sure he wouldn't let her use it on him if he knew it was designed by Weasley's, though if he tried to get out of it she would freeze him. Hermione frowned slightly as she scooted closer to him, which only made Malfoy look at her skeptically.

"What are you doing?"

"Well someone's got to put it on and it'll be easier if I do,"

"But I-"

"Please just let me do this, Malfoy. It will go a lot faster," He hesitated before nodding stiffly and staring at her with a blank expression. Hermione was tempted to ask for a smirk, as it made her more comfortable than the way he was looking at her now, but she didn't want to upset him. And so she simply dipped her fingers in the paste and gently applied it to the bruises that took up most of the right side or his face. "You can explain while I'm doing this," she said quietly, well aware that he was staring at her but choosing to focus only on the green on his face.

"I'm not sure I-"

"Malfoy I'm not going to take another one of your excuses. I want to know what happened, all of it. And if you could throw in why you decided to just stop writing me back too, that would be great,"

He was silent and his jaw clenched, but after a moment he let out a sigh. "They're intertwined, Granger," he muttered. Hermione paused, looking at him with a bit of confusion before continuing to try and apply the paste. "I left one laying around,"

"Didn't you plan on burning them? Why didn't you?"

"Granger if you want the damn story then you're going to have to deal with not having your every little question answered," he said quickly, almost like he hoped she wouldn't be able to agree to his terms.

Hermione knew that wasn't an option though, so she nodded. "Go on then,"

Malfoy continued with a small glare in her direction. "I left a letter out, from you. My parents never come into my room, so I didn't think about it," he explained. "They decided to look for me there a while ago, and they found it. Needless to say they weren't happy," Hermione was tempted to comment, but she kept her mouth shut and kept dabbing the paste on his face. "I was in the library. Apparently they'd decided to let my father speak with me; my mother probably didn't want to deal with a fight. It wasn't that bad at first, he was more angry than anything else," Hermione almost smiled; it sounded to her like he wanted her to be sure nothing too bad had happened. "But then he called you a-" Malfoy stopped again, glaring at her. "Could you not press so hard?"

"Sorry," Hermione muttered, putting the last of the paste on. "It should heal in about an hour,"

He nodded and sighed. "So am I done talking now too?"

"Definitely not,"

"Whatever," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "He called you a mudblood," The word rolled so easily off his tongue and even though Hermione hadn't heard him say it that year until then, she still found herself disgusted. It was vile; she wished he never said it again. "I told him not to and tried to explain why I was going against him, but he really hated that and-Damn it Granger, stop looking at me like that,"

"Like what?" she asked, though she knew she'd been starting to smile at him. She'd watched him stand up for her when it was with Ron or anyone else at school, but this was his father they were talking about.

"Just-Okay don't look at me at all, got it? It's going to be a lot easier to get out that way," Hermione rolled her eyes then and nodded before shifting her gaze to the table. For a long few minutes after she did that, Malfoy remained silent. Hermione glanced at him to see a pained expression on his face. She was only seconds away from telling him he didn't have to say any more when his mouth opened again. "He thought he could beat the opinion out of me," he said quietly. "Mother couldn't have known that was his plan, otherwise she wouldn't have allowed it to happen. But she didn't come until I-" There was another pause and Hermione looked at him only to find that he was staring at her forehead. Before she could think that it would make him uncomfortable, she reached out and grabbed his hand. "Granger what are you-"

"Just a reminder," she said quietly. "That I'm here or whatever," Malfoy rolled his eyes, but he didn't push her hand away.

"She didn't come until she heard me scream," he said quietly, still avoiding looking at her. "Of course I didn't scream until my father tried to get rid of the Dark Mark-"

"Wait, he did _what_?" Hermione asked, horrified.

"He tried to cut it off," Malfoy said awkwardly, his cheeks going a light shade a pink that Hermione was sure would have been darker had they been alone. "That's why it bloody hurt when you grabbed my arm,"

"I didn't know," she said immediately.

"It's not like I expected you to,"

"But why would he-"

"Honestly, Granger, I can't tell you. It was a little hard to hear what he was saying when I..."

"I understand,"

"It was something about not deserving it though, that or turning into a blood traitor,"

"But why would you be a blood traitor?"

"You know associating with someone like you isn't exactly what purebloods like my father think is acceptable,"

"And do you have a problem with it?" Hermione asked cautiously.

Malfoy stared at her, his eyebrows raising. Hermione was almost positive that she saw a hurt look flicker across his face but it was quickly replaced with a scowl. "If I had a problem with it at this point, Granger, I wouldn't be sitting here right now telling you about the shitty week I've had," He stood up then, fury taking over his expression. "If I had a problem with it I wouldn't have agreed to be your bloody friend. And I definitely wouldn't have been wandering around Diagon Alley ever since Christmas hoping that one of these damn days you would come around so I could at least see you!"

He stormed off before Hermione even had the chance to process his words. By then she didn't know where she would find him. It was with a defeated sigh that Hermione stood up and prepared to apparate back to Harry, Andromeda, and Teddy.


	30. Chapter 30

Even by the day Draco was supposed to go back to Hogwarts, he wasn't prepared to see Granger. They'd gone way too far last time and he'd been completely out of his comfort zone. Not, he thought bitterly, that Granger actually cared. She'd gotten what she wanted: the story and the chance to play hero. She was probably laughing at him, still; Draco had never felt more pathetic in his life. Surely Granger had picked up on that.

If he was being completely honest he was more upset with himself than with her. He'd all but said the words _I miss you _and he'd let her hold his hand. Granted her hand had been warm and genuinely nice to hold, but still. He didn't particularly like touching her. It felt almost intimate to him and any thoughts even involving that with her were certainly unwelcome in his mind. Unwelcome, yes, but seemingly ignoring that fact. He couldn't get holding her hand off his mind for more than an hour at a time. And that was probably one of the reasons he didn't want to go back. She would be there, and she would inevitably figure it out. All because he liked holding her damn hand.

Draco didn't have much of a choice though. His mother had been exceptionally cold after he'd refused to vouch for his father and let her heal him. It wasn't like he could really go up to her and explain that he didn't want to go back to school because he had odd emotions about a girl his parents thought was beneath him. She wasn't though, at least not in Draco's eyes. At least not _now_.

His mother did surprise him though, as she decided to escort him to the platform. He'd expected to go alone as she was mad at him, though the silence that came with her company did not make the trip any better. And he knew the silence would continue for a while; his mother could be the most stubborn woman in the world, if she really wanted to be.

For a while they just stood there, people avoiding them like they were the plague and glaring angrily. His mother would only look at them disapprovingly; Draco just rolled his eyes and glared right back. Eventually it came to be ten minutes before the train left and Draco shifted; he really needed to get on and find an empty compartment before he got stuck sitting with someone. He opened his mouth, prepared to say goodbye, but his mother beat him to words. "Draco?"

"Yes?" he asked, unable to hide his surprise.

"Is that girl," she began, disgust in her tone and disapproval on her face, "worth what happened?"

"Excuse me?"

"Was she worth the argument with your father?"

"That wasn't really an argument, Mother,"

"Draco," she said sternly, the disapproval growing on her face. "Was she? Was it really worth it to defend her and lose your relationship with your father?"

"There really wasn't much of a relationship to begin with,"

"Just answer the question, Draco,"

Yes, just answer the question that would force Draco's ever changing emotions to become solidified in his mind. He seemed to be all over the place when it came to Granger and he absolutely hated it. He needed his opinion on her to stay in one place. Not the hate he'd felt most of the time he'd known her as the thought of hating Granger again was starting to make him feel sick. Why though was something he would never allow himself to think about. "I don't know,"

"Yes, you do," his mother pushed, her eyes narrowing.

"Well then I'd rather not say,"

But it was answer enough for his mother, who kept a calm enough face instead of scowling like he'd expected her to. "Then go talk to her,"

"What?"

"She's been looking at you every few seconds since we've been here, if I am looking at the correct girl," his mother revealed quietly. The disgust slipped back into her voice then but Draco chose not to mention it. Doing so would only make sure they left on bad terms and Draco really didn't want to ruin any other relationship in his family. She was really the only one left in his family, now that he thought about it. "I'm not going to pretend to like it but I won't stop you from being happy,"

"Who says that Granger makes me happy?"

"I know my son," was the only response she gave. "Go,"

Before he could protest he was being pushed away from his mother and stumbling as he tried to keep from dropping his trunk. He turned around to glare at her but she was already gone. Draco sighed heavily and turned away only to meet Granger's eyes. It surprised him that his mother had been the one to notice her, not him, as he was usually very aware of her presence. The fact that she'd been looking at him surprised him too; he would have thought she'd been plenty satisfied about what had happened at the Leaky Cauldron. It only haunted him.

She looked concerned about something, though Draco didn't know what, and she looked conflicted at the same time. She said something to Longbottom, who she was standing with, before she started walking. He was very tempted in that moment to apparate, because it looked like she was walking toward him. Which was completely unbelievable, he knew, because Granger would never just leave her other friends to come up to him. They had bonds that he and Granger didn't share and Draco was sure that she would never-Shit. She was. "I think there are some things we need to discuss,"

"As it just so happens, Granger, I disagree,"

"I know. But there are things I need to say and you're going to have to listen,"

"I don't want to,"

"Don't be childish,"

"That's not childish,"

"Yes it is. You would be willing to have a conversation with me if you weren't acting that way,"

"Actually, Granger, I wouldn't be doing anything I didn't want to do. And I don't want to talk to you right now," She folded her arms across her chest and her eyes narrowed, which made Draco scowl. He hated seeing her current expression on her face, as it definitely wasn't a happy one and he preferred it when she actually looked happy. "You have about five seconds, Granger, so you'd better make it count. I'd like to find a compartment before they're all gone," She blinked and Draco rolled his eyes. "Four now," he muttered.

"I shouldn't have asked you that in the Leaky Cauldron," she said quickly. "I don't know what made me do it because I know that you can't feel that way if we're friends. It was ridiculous and I was really just starting to doubt what I knew about us because you just stopped writing me back,"

"There's no _us_, Granger,"

Granger gave him an annoyed look but she didn't say anything about it. Instead she went with, "We were supposed to get along this year, weren't we?"

"I think that's a rather hard thing to do, Granger,"

"But we weren't supposed to make everything so difficult,"

"Granger things have always been difficult," he said, awkwardly sounding like he was beginning to try and comfort her. Which had to be one of the oddest feelings in the world.

She nodded slightly before looking to the train. "Come on, let's get on,"

Again, Draco found himself asking, "What?"

"I have more to say and you know I'm not going to leave you alone until I say it. Will it really kill us to sit together for half an hour?"

"What you have to say is going to take half an hour?"

"Shut up," she muttered, shaking her head and walking onto the train. Draco followed her on and into a compartment, surprised that he wasn't going to be sitting alone.

And that was how he found himself sitting with Granger for the rest of the train ride. After she'd gotten out what she wanted to say, mostly about how they couldn't keep thinking the worst about one another, they'd somehow gotten onto the topic of Arithmancy. And after that, despite the multiple times silence had fallen over them, neither had moved. Draco had stayed put because he was stubborn and didn't want to give up his compartment. Granger had given the excuse of knowing that her friends would want to talk about their holidays and she didn't really want to talk about hers. Draco could understand why, as he knew that she'd spent the first part of it looking for her missing parents. Which couldn't have been fun for her; Granger seemed like the kind of girl that found family important. She'd only asked about what had happened between him and his father once, and it was only to ask if his arm was better. He'd nearly forgotten about that particular injury, because his mother had forced him to let her heal it. Which was good, he was glad that it didn't hurt anymore, but to his disappointment the Dark Mark had come back almost instantly.

It wasn't like they were having pleasant conversations about anything and everything under the sun, but it was enough to keep them entertained for the time being. It almost made him think that it was the middle of the night and he was about to fall asleep, though the sunlight coming in from the window kept him in reality. And besides, if they were in the common room then people wouldn't be stopping to stare at them through the door of the compartment. Draco was quickly becoming irritated with the fact that people were gaping at them; it wasn't as if he and Granger hadn't been seen together before. But now, when Draco was finally starting to get comfortable with her sitting in such a close vicinity, he really didn't need people staring at them.

Granger didn't seem to mind though, because she wasn't paying any attention to them. She was currently reading a book, something that didn't surprise Draco at all, and ignoring him while she did so. He didn't really mind, as at least then she wasn't talking and making a bigger deal out of things than necessary. Draco was switching between looking out into the thin corridor, out the window, and at her. She didn't notice and Draco didn't really know what to look at. He was tempted to get a book from his own trunk so he wouldn't be awkwarldy sitting across from her, but his trunk was over her head. If he wanted something from it he would either have to ask her to move or reach over her, neither of which sounded pleasant to him.

Somehow they ended up in a carriage together too, once they got to Hogsmeade, and Granger had to leave her book with her trunk. For the first few minutes while they walked to the carriage and then climbed on, they didn't say a word to each other. It seemed as if they'd exhausted any options of conversation which didn't bode well if they were going to wake up early in the morning and expect to talk to each other again. Things definitely weren't easy when it game to Granger.

They parted once they got to the castle, as Granger had to go to the Gryffindor table and Draco had to sit with the Slytherins. It had been odd, to have her quiet presence with him for most of the day, and Draco would rather meet another one of Hagrid's hippogriff's than admit that he'd enjoyed simply having her with him. It had almost reminded him of holding her hand-and damn it he was supposed to be forgetting about holding her stupid hand! Not comparing it to having her around.

"Pity," he muttered, knowing that no one else would really be listening to him and those who could hear wouldn't actually care. "That's why she stayed around,"

With that thought securely in his mind, Draco sat down and stared at the teacher's table. McGonagall caught his gaze after a moment and he wasn't thrilled to see a slightly amused expression on her face. Draco was sure she knew that something had happened with him and Granger, but he couldn't actually know unless he asked. And he did not plan on doing that.

They got maybe halfway through dinner before Draco started to hear the laughing. Soon after that he noticed people looking at him and pointing. The laughing continued then too. Draco knew it had to do with the article from the Daily Prophet about his father, though at the moment he didn't care. His father had, of course, been sent to Azkaban, and the next day an article had been published about the entire ordeal. Luckily he hadn't been mentioned which meant that the fact he'd showed up in bruises hadn't been mentioned either. One look at Granger had him rolling his eyes though; she was shooting glares at the people who were laughing loudly. Draco almost laughed at that, but somehow he thought it wouldn't go over well with the other students.


	31. Chapter 31

She hadn't wanted to leave, not really anyway. Hermione had enjoyed just being able to sit with him and occasionally speak without the added pressure of trying to make sure she sounded normal. Malfoy knew that she wasn't so there was no real reason to hid everything like she normally did with her other friends. Malfoy was different; he understood, somehow, and he didn't want her to be perfectly put together at every hour of the day. He simply wanted, it seemed, for her to be real and honest with him.

Hermione often thought of meeting him at Flourish and Blotts and how horribly the day had gone. Malfoy seemed to have forgiven her because he never mentioned it, though every now and then she caught him staring at her hands. Sometimes he was glaring at them. Other times it looked like he wanted to smile.

He was starting to look worse though, which made Hermione feel quite guilty. She knew there was no way to convince him to just stay asleep; Hermione had never seen Malfoy act so stubbornly about something in her life. He claimed, in a rather irritated voice, that he was fine whenever she asked. She could see the bags under his eyes and the way he seemed about to pass out that undermined his words. He was very good at lying though, Hermione noticed, as most of the time he would lie to others when asked what was going on between them. Hermione had heard him at it and she knew she had no right to be upset, as he'd stated that he didn't want anyone to know that they were friends. It bothered her all the same.

She wanted to be his friend, she really did, and it wasn't pleasant to hear him deny it all the time. Hermione didn't really think he even knew that she heard him say there was nothing going on, because he was usually cornered into talking about it. The few times she'd noticed, Malfoy and whoever was questioning him where in a quiet place and no one else was around. However no one ever came up to her; they apparently thought it would be smarter to approach Malfoy than her. Hermione didn't get that though; he was more likely to slip up and hex someone than she was.

Hermione sighed at the thought and looked back at her plate, frowning. The great hall was particularly loud at the moment and she had a growing headache that was irritating her. "Everything all right?"

Neville's concerned voice reminded her of the fact that she was eating dinner with him and Luna, who had decided to join them at the Gryffindor table. "Of course," Hermione replied quickly.

Luna, who hadn't appeared to be listening to anything, shook her head and offered Hermione a friendly smile. "She's concerned about Draco Malfoy," she said, her dreamy tone mixing oddly with the preciseness of her words. "Aren't you?

"I-"

"I think it's quite nice that you are. He looks lonely whenever I see him,"

"Luna I never said I saw-"

"But you look at him every few seconds,"

Hermione glanced at Neville, worried about how he would take Luna's words, but she found that he looked rather amused. "She has a knack for picking up on these things," he whispered, nodding toward Luna who was smiling pleasantly at both of them. "Why are you concerned about Malfoy?"

"I-" She was prepared to deny everything and claim that Luna was wrong, but it was exactly what Malfoy has been doing whenever someone asked him about her. Denying Malfoy like that felt wrong to her; they were supposed to be friends. "It's just that everyone is laughing at him," she explained quickly, beginning to feel silly as she spoke. "And he doesn't mention it, ever, but he doesn't stand up for himself either,"

Neville looked conflicted as he looked over at the Slytherin table. "Well if he's not mentioning it are you sure it's bothering him?"

"Why wouldn't it? People are laughing at him because his father was sent to Azkaban. I think that would make anyone upset, wouldn't it?"

"But if he's not mentioning anything then why would you be worried?"

Hermione kept her silence for a moment, her jaw clenching at the question. Malfoy would most likely be frustrated with her if she went into detail about her feelings on the matter, to anyone really. Especially if Neville went around and told people about what she'd said; it would definitely get back to him then. "We've just been talking this year, that's all. And I-"

"She cares about him Neville," Luna said matter-of-factly, smiling. "Oh, was I not supposed to mention that? Sorry, Hermione, it's just very obvious to anyone that looks,"

Hermione was well aware that she was staring at Luna with her mouth hanging open. She knew, of course, that she cared about Malfoy, but Luna had noticed? It immediately made her wonder if others had noticed too, though if they had no one had mentioned it to her. "Neville I-" she said, feeling the need to explain herself.

He only shrugged, though he looked a bit uncomfortable at the idea. "If that's how you feel I'm not going to be upset or anything," he said, shrugging. It was like what Harry had told her, though she hadn't expected it from anyone else. Harry was her best friend, he was supposed to support her, but Neville didn't really have any obligations. "I guess it's nice of you to try and be nice to him,"

"It's not just because I want to be nice, it's because I-" Hermione stopped suddenly as a large shout of laughter sounded through the great hall. It was loud enough that she knew she wouldn't be heard if she tried speaking. It was the Ravenclaws who were laughing now, and Hermione couldn't help the fact that her eyes immediately narrowed. She was suspicious, now, that whenever people laughed that loudly they were making fun of Malfoy. He definitely didn't deserve to be laughed at. Hermione shifted her gaze away from the Ravenclaws and looked to Malfoy, whose face had gone pink. It bothered Hermione that she could see that from the other side of the hall. She watched as he said something to the other Slytherins, who were beginning to laugh as well, and a moment later he stood up and walked out of the great hall.

The laughter died down as soon as he was gone, and Hermione found herself scowling. She had gone from being irritated with her headache to being furious with the other people in the hall. She didn't know what had happened to make him leave the hall and she had a feeling Malfoy wouldn't want to share with her, but she was irritated all the same. And so, feeling unable to do much else, Hermione stood up and threw her fork down to the table, storming out of the hall herself. The only problem was that she had no idea where he would have gone. Hermione didn't see him walking into any of the side corridors and as far as she could tell he wasn't on the stairs.

She decided to walk through the corridors, as she couldn't imagine Malfoy would just go back to the common room if he was upset, and Hermione had a feeling he was. Of course he was; Malfoy wouldn't just walk out of the great hall like he had if he wasn't at least irritated with something. Hermione knew that she had to find him, as if he let his anger grow she was sure he would end up breaking something else like he had at the beginning of the year. She didn't want him to get hurt again, which was an odd feeling for her. In the past she hadn't cared about Malfoy much and now she wanted him to be okay.

It was probably by chance that she walked past the Room of Requirement when she did, as the door was just beginning to close. It was a wild guess, as she had no reason to believe that it would actually be Malfoy walking through the door, but she thought it was worth a shot. For all she knew it could be Malfoy; he'd spent plenty of time in the Room of Requirement in sixth year. Hermione caught the door and walked in, only to find herself standing in the middle of a bathroom. There was a girl in front of her who looked a little too surprised to be there and Hermione left the room before sighing heavily. She didn't know where to find him, but she knew that- "Damn it, Granger, there's a reason why I left the great hall!"

The incredibly angry voice made Hermione stop almost immediately; she definitely hadn't noticed anyone in the corridor with her though she knew it was Malfoy who was speaking. Apparently going toward the Room of Requirement had been a good idea, because she was going to find him rather soon. She finally thought to turn around and saw Malfoy sitting on the ledge by one of the windows. "I've been searching the castle for you," she said, well aware that her tone sounded irritated.

"I didn't ask you to do that,"

"How many times am I going to have to tell you that friends do these kinds of things?"

"Doesn't matter," he muttered, turning away from her and looking out the window.

If the situation hadn't left Hermione with a bad feeling in the bottom of her stomach, she would have commented on the fact that he was acting a tad dramatic. She was sure they would fight if she said that though, so she kept quite on the thought. "What happened?"

"I'm not up to discussing it, Granger,"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sat down on the floor next to him, frowning slightly. "You'll feel better if talk about it,"

"I'm pretty sure I'll feel the same,"

"You don't know that for sure,"

"But I'm fairly certain,"

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Malfoy I can and will sit here until you decide to tell me why you stormed out of the great hall,"

Malfoy looked at her, his eyebrows raised and a scowl forming on his lips. "You can sit there all night, if you please, but I'm not saying a damn word,"

Hermione's frown deepened as she looked at him, and he went back to looking out the window. "Malfoy," He didn't even look at her, let alone say anything. Hermione sighed heavily and focused her gaze on her knees as she brought them to her chest. "Look, Malfoy. The fact of the matter is, I care about you," she said, aware that her voice was steadily raising the more she became nervous. She didn't know exactly how Malfoy would take her words because they hadn't really talked about caring about each other in a while. "And because of that I'd like to know if you're upset about something because I would very much like to help you,"

He looked at her then, the surprise that had stolen his features quickly slipping away. "That's a grand proclamation, Granger,"

"Oh shut up, you know it's true!"

"Be that as it may, I don't feel like sharing,"

"Malfoy why are you being so unreasonable?"

"Unreasonable? I didn't realize that's what I was doing. You see, I thought it was perfectly fine not to tell someone everything that's on your mind,"

"That's not what I-"

"It is, Granger,"

She stared at him, her face warming quickly as he looked back at her. "I-"

Hermione hadn't expected him to interrupt her, so she almost kept talking over him. She missed the beginning of what he was saying because of this, but Malfoy didn't seem irritated with her about it. "-something about the article with my father," he explained quietly. "Which was frustrating enough in and of itself, before they went off on how I would follow in his footsteps. Or at least they hoped I would,"

"The Ravenclaws said that?"

"How'd you know it was the Ravenclaws?"

"They were laughing loudly at dinner. It was just a guess, but I'm sorry it was right,"

"It doesn't matter," he said again, frowning at her.

"When they say they want you to follow in your father's footsteps-"

"Azkaban, I would guess," he said. Malfoy stopped looking at her then and switched his gaze to the Forbidden Forest. If Hermione hadn't been paying much attention she wouldn't have heard the hint of fear in his voice. But she heard it, and she couldn't help but stare at Malfoy with wide eyes. She'd never thought he was truly afraid of anything, but it seemed he was afraid of this. And Hermione couldn't see how he wouldn't be afraid; even the idea of going to Azkaban shook her to the core and she hadn't actually done anything wrong. "It doesn't matter what they want though," he said, his voice growing hard as he continued looking out the window. "It's up to the ministry,"

"What?"

"Honestly, Granger, did you think I would just get away with everything that happened?"

"But-"

"They just haven't gotten to me yet, I'm sure. I don't know what will happen when they do but I am sure it will be what I deserve,"

Fury blossomed in her mind before she could even think about what his words could mean. "You were forced into everything!"

He only shrugged and Hermione scowled. She was prepared to say more about the matter when Malfoy decided to speak again. He seemed to grow uncomfortable with the words though, because he couldn't loo at her again. "Someone brought you into it and I got angry. I thought walking out would be better than cursing them,"

"You were angry because-"

He sighed heavily, cutting her off. "I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it. You're going to blow this whole thing out of proportion,"

"No I'm not," she protested immediately.

"Well then promise me you won't mention it. Ever,"

"Fine, then, if you'll promise not to come out at night anymore,"

It was his turn to be surprised. "_What_?"

"I think I was perfectly clear,"

"I think you were perfectly unreasonable,"

"Oh, are we back to that then?"

"Shut up, Granger," he snapped angrily. "It's not fair of you to ask something you know I won't be able to do,"

"I'm only asking you to do something that's going to benefit you,"

"_Benefit_ me? How will it _benefit_ me?"

"You won't have to wake up so you'll get a full night's sleep. Then you won't look so tired all the time and you won't seem like you're going to fall asleep,"

"As if that's what's going to happen,"

"But-"

"I'll still wake up, Granger, and if you force me to stay in my room at night then I'm going to spend the rest of my night worrying about what's going on with you and if you're okay and-" He stopped, his face warming just as hers had. It was probably something Malfoy hadn't wanted to admit or maybe hadn't even realized, that he would worry about her. She couldn't imagine he wanted her to know that yet. "I didn't mean that," he said immediately. "Shit, Granger, I didn't mean that,"

"Why are you-"

"Because I didn't mean it!"

"Malfoy, I-"

He jumped away from the window, the expression on his face matching the one he'd worn after he'd grabbed her hand that first time. "I didn't mean that, Granger, get it through your thick head. I didn't mean what I said!"

Before Hermione could even think to try and top him, Malfoy was running away from her. "Damn it," she swore loudly, startling the girl coming out of the Room of Requirement. Hermione didn't pay much mind to her though, she was too busy thinking about Malfoy. He would be worried about her, therefore he cared probably more than either of them thought. Hermione had known he cared about her slightly, but she hadn't even thought that he would be worried for her. Which seemed silly now that she thought about it; he'd probably been worried about her plenty of times and she just hadn't thought to connect the dots. Well, the damn dots were connected now and Hermione had no idea what she was supposed to do.


	32. Chapter 32

It had been two weeks since Granger had told him not to come out at night anymore, and Draco was absolutely furious. Because it was currently three forty-five in the morning and once again, Draco became aware that she was avoiding him. Or trying to keep up her idiotic bargain about not mentioning the things he'd said if he wouldn't come out. It wasn't working though, because Draco still left his room every night. And however he'd looked when Granger had found him in the corridor, Draco knew he looked worse now. For starters, he could barely even sleep without thinking about Granger, which wasn't pleasant for him, and the few hours he got were spent tossing and turning as he tried to figure out whether or not she would show her face. Once he came out at midnight, he would spend the next six hours of his life sitting uncomfortably in his chair as he stared at her door. If Abbott or Boot every decided to go for a midnight stroll, he would be caught and they would most definitely throw a fit about it.

Granger had, without fail, changed everything and they were barely halfway through the school year. She had changed his opinion on certain things that Draco hated to think about, and she'd changed his plans on being alone the entire year. He was still stuck with her whenever she wanted to talk to him during the day and they still sat together in certain classes, but she avoided him at night. It was driving him crazy; half the reason he'd even started to like her was because of the late night conversations and if he wanted those feelings to grow-

Draco's cheeks heated almost immediately and for a moment he was glad Granger wasn't in the room with him. She undoubtedly would have asked what was wrong or what he'd been thinking about to make him suddenly embarrassed and that was definitely something Draco didn't want to talk to her about. It was a horrible thought and he didn't know how he'd even allowed it to cross his mind. He didn't want his already confusing feelings for Granger to grow because how was he supposed to keep them quiet if they did? She already knew that he acted differently around them and he was sure she'd noticed that he stared at her hands. Draco couldn't help that though; he just wanted to hold one of them one more time and then he was sure he'd get over it.

And so he was furious. Dealing with all these things involving Granger were ruining his mind. He'd been perfectly clear on what he wanted to do at the beginning of the year: stay out of sight, finish school, and see what was in store for the rest of his life. Now, however, he couldn't keep his mind off Granger and he was often trying to figure out what roll she would play in the rest of his life. He felt like a bloody fool every time the thought entered his mind, but there it was and there wasn't anything he could do to prevent it from happening. That wasn't the only thing he was caught up with trying to figure out though. _I'm not going to pretend to like it but I won't stop you from being happy _often drifted into his mind if he was spacing off in class, and he wanted to figure out exactly what his mother meant. Did Granger make him happy? In a way, maybe, but at the same time she absolutely infuriated him. Did he want others to notice that? No. And-this was the thought that particularly bothered him-what if Granger had figured out what she did?

Draco yawned quietly and ran a hand through his already tousled hair; he couldn't remember how many times he'd done that in the span of the last four hours, but it had been enough times to make his head look like it was a mess. It hadn't even looked that bad when he'd dragged himself out of bed. The thing was, Granger probably wouldn't even know that he'd been waiting up for her on the off chance that that night was the one that she would decide to get over her idiotic attempt at trying to help him. As if this was helping him; Draco was pretty sure the entire ordeal was making him worse. And, if anything, angrier than he had been in a long time. He wanted nothing more than to confront her about it but so far he hadn't done it because they were only ever together around other people and he couldn't exactly bring it up then without other people finding out. He would be ridiculed if other people found out about what he was doing, so that was out of the question.

By the time it got to be five thirty, he'd come up with a hundred different ways to get back at Granger for what she was doing to him. His absolute favorite involved forcing her onto a broom because he knew how uncomfortable flying with her. Draco figured she should have to deal with the same level of discomfort that their current situation had caused him, and that would get them pretty close to even. Then again if he did that he was sure Granger would never say a word to him again and that would just make him even more uncomfortable.

When six came around Draco trudged back to his room and slammed the door behind him, his frustration getting worse. She'd put him through two weeks, two bloody weeks of this and he was ready to just stop talking to her all together. It was childish, something Granger loved to accuse him of being, but he quickly decided on the silent treatment before grabbing a towel to head to the shower. It would provide him with a slightly more positive outlook on the day. He would upset Granger just like she'd upset him and Draco would probably be pleased with the outcome. It made him feel like an idiot, he realized as he climbed into the warm water, how obsessed he was becoming with getting revenge on Granger for something that he'd probably be over in another few weeks anyway, but he was acting irrationally for a reason he didn't know.

Draco walked out of the bathroom, ready for the day despite the fact that he was completely exhausted. He was sure Granger would be mad at him because he was sure to fall asleep in at least one of his classes, but at the moment he didn't care. Granger was just leaving her room and she offered him a small smile that he quite obviously didn't return. He didn't really smile at her ever, despite the multiple attempts she made each day to get him to. It just felt odd to him, so he didn't do it.

He walked down to the great hall, not really hungry but knowing that Granger would hunt him down if he didn't go. At least he thought she would; she almost never missed meals and she was pretty strict about things like that. It was one of the things Draco found interesting about her; she was so incredibly serious about all of these things yet she had the odd capability to turn into a completely normal person if she was relaxed. He'd never thought she could do that back when he hadn't really known her. She'd always been the extreme of something when he'd been around her in the past and he hadn't realized that ordinary was something she could be. Draco frowned as he sat down and grabbed a piece of toast; ordinary didn't really suit Granger though. She was a lot more than ordinary, but thinking about that would only solidify unwanted things in his mind.

The great hall slowly filled up and the only thing that kept Draco sitting calmly in his seat was the fact that somehow the jokes about the Daily Prophet article had stopped. He suspected Granger had something to do with that, because she was completely furious every time she saw someone laughing at him. Draco could understand, he'd be just as angry if not more if he saw someone acting that way toward Granger, but no one would ever act that way toward their hero. And that's what Granger was, a hero, and that's what Draco had to remind himself of. Granger was a hero and she would be disgusted if she found out about his thoughts.

Classes are always annoying, in Draco's opinion, especially if other people couldn't grasp the concepts and they got stuck in the same place. Which seemed to happen in the first three classes he attended, so overall the day was complete torture. It was a Friday anyway and he didn't have many classes with Granger, so he didn't even get to see how much it would irritate her. By the time he did see her again and actually get to interact with her, she was asking him if he'd like to go study in the common room before dinner and the meeting. Which, of course, he didn't reply to. She'd only been confused, of course, which Draco was beginning to feel bad about though that only made him angrier. He didn't want to feel bad about giving her the silent treatment because she was basically doing the same thing to him every night.

Despite not saying anything, Draco found himself walking toward the common room with her a safe distance away from him. Granger sat on the left side of the couch, as usual, and every now and then she would throw him a confused glance. Draco, on the other hand, couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to start working on his homework like Granger had. Instead, he found himself falling asleep in his chair like he normally did when he was in the common room with Granger, which he really did not want to do.

Nearly an hour and a half later, Granger was shaking him awake and smirking. He almost forgot that he wasn't talking to her and he was about three seconds away from telling her to leave him the hell alone when he remembered. He'd fixed a cold glare on her instead and Granger's smirk had faltered, and she slowly drew her hand away from his shoulder. Draco was glad he wasn't saying a word to her in that moment because he might have shouted at her for daring to draw her hand away. It had felt nice on his shoulder and he would rather die before admitting that to anyone, but it had. "Okay, what's going on?" Granger asked finally, frowning at him. She waited for his answer for at least a minute and when he didn't respond, she rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment? I don't even know what I did!"

He could have answered her, he knew, but that would mean breaking his streak of not speaking to her for an entire day. Besides the holiday he hadn't really managed it for the school year and that was surprising for him. Before this year Draco would have been pleased about not speaking to her but now it was just starting to irritate him. He wanted to talk to her and yell at her for not coming out at night anymore, as they were finally alone, but of course today was the day he'd decided to keep silent.

"Honestly, Malfoy, this is ridiculous,"

Before she could say anything else, Malfoy stood up and walked out of the common room. He knew that Granger was surprised at his actions, but he didn't care all that much about that. If she really wanted to talk to him she could come out of her room when she woke up at night.

Draco went through dinner, frowning the entire time, as he saw Granger staring at him. She was lucky that others didn't seem to be noticing otherwise he was sure they would say something about it. Though with his luck the people making the comments would probably come after him and accuse him of using a spell or a potion on her. Half of his time was spent actually eating that night; the other half was spent staring back at Granger with a bit of a glare.

Once he was done eating, Draco walked out of the great hall and toward McGonagall's office. It was time for the weekly meeting and, as much as he didn't want to go, he knew that he had to. Besides, if he didn't go then it wouldn't give him the chance to voice his opinion on Boot's idiotic new program. Delegates hanging out with younger kids from every house, just to make them feel welcome? Draco had no desire to participate in that and he would outright refuse if McGonagall let that one happen. Let the other students do it; Draco was not going to be stuck with a bunch of annoying kids that probably hated him as much as everyone else did.

"You're early, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said, coming up behind him. "Why aren't you with Miss Granger?"

"I'm not always with her," he said roughly, scowling at the mention of the girl who'd been occupying most of his mind as of late.

"But you two often walk to these meetings together,"

"I was done eating before her,"

"I see," McGonagall said, frowning at him. She opened the door to her office for him and Draco sighed, taking his usual seat and waiting impatiently for everyone else to arrive. Draco was sure, when Granger walked in, that she was only walking with Boot and Abbott to get back at him for not talking to her because she took her seat next to him with an annoyed glance at him. "Shall we begin?" McGonagall asked, glancing between the two as her frown deepened. Maybe there was tension-okay, there definitely was tension-but that didn't mean McGonagall had to watch them warily while Boot and Abbott did most of the talking.

Eventually, Granger got to talk about what kids had been telling her and Draco rolled his eyes; it was usually the same and he had a sinking suspicion that Granger only talked to people that came up to her. And he was pretty sure it was mostly Longbottom her information was coming from. He only half listened, which Draco knew could get him into trouble if he agreed to something he didn't mean to, but Granger wasn't exactly asking for a vote on anything. It wasn't until he head, "And I really think there needs to be some sort of program to stop people from acting so childish,"

It could have been meant, Draco realized as his eyes narrowed, for anyone as there were plenty of people acting childish at Hogwarts. There were plenty of people who were making fun of each other harshly and Draco had been at the tail end of that, but from the look Granger shot him he knew who her words were directed at. "Excuse me, Miss Granger?" McGonagall asked, surprised by the words.

"Well, it's just that there is really no reason to act childish and rude to one another, especially if the one receiving this behavior has done nothing wrong-" Draco scoffed. An actual scoff that made all eyes turn to him. "Do you have something to add?"

"I think you should mind your own damn business, Granger. Leave people to act as they please," With the words, he'd broken his promise and also made everyone in the room raise their eyebrows. Really, he was amazing at making friends.

"And I think that you should go to this program,"

"Oh, please. If I need to go, Granger, then you do too,"

"What-No, I don't!"

"Tell me, Granger, what's more childish: ignoring someone or trying to embarrass someone because you don't get your way?"

"I am not childish, Malfoy, you're the one giving me the silent treatment!"

"You're the one who doesn't listen to anything I say!"

"Oh shut up, Malfoy," she said angrily. "You know why I'm doing what I am and you're benefitting from it, aren't you?"

"No!"

"Mr. Malfoy, Miss, Granger, maybe you should take this somewhere more private," McGonagall tried to intervene, but Granger was staring at him.

"What do you mean you're not benefitting from it?" she asked, completely ignoring McGonagall which obviously didn't please her.

"I mean, Granger, that despite your best efforts I'm still not getting any damn sleep and I spend six hours wondering if you're finally going to get over yourself and realize that I'm trying to do this for you!"

"For me? You're not doing this for me!"

"Oh, please, why else would I-"

"You're doing this because you feel guilty and you want to play the hero,"

"I think you're talking about yourself now, Granger," he said icily.

"No, I'm not. You think I need you to save me or something, or that I need you to be there for me when I'm perfectly capable of doing things on my own. I'm not helpless-"

"The hell you aren't!" he shouted, his anger bubbling over. "I _watched_ you wake up from one, Granger, I know what it was like to be afraid _for_ you because you scared the hell out of me with-"

He fell silent almost immediately, as if he'd only just realized where he was. Granger had the same look on her face, and she glanced at the other three people in the room nervously. "Would you care to explain, Miss Granger?"

"Not particularly," Granger said quietly.

"Mr. Malfoy?"

"It's her secret, not mine," he said immediately.

"Obviously there is something going on and if you two don't-"

Granger stood up, grabbed Draco's arm, and pulled him out of the office before McGonagall could say another word. "Granger I didn't mean to spill your-"

"It's not like I was helping the situation any,"

"But I should have been more careful-"

"Malfoy, did I really scare you?"

"What?"

"Did I scare you that night, when I woke up?"

Draco blinked, surprised by the question. The image of her terrified eyes flashed through his mind and Draco nearly cringed. "I-Well, yes, I guess. I hadn't seen you look so afraid in a long time so I guess I just... And then I... I..."

"You don't have to finish,"

"Good,"

"So it's really not helping you any? You haven't been sleeping more?"

"I believe I told you when you first suggested it that it wouldn't help me. The only thing that's going to help is if you get better. I don't see that happening in the near future. I'd like to-" he stopped again, his face going a horrible shade of red as he realized what he'd almost said.

"To what, Malfoy?" Granger asked curiously. "Draco," she said tentatively, making him look at her with slightly widening eyes. It surprised him every time she used his first name, and it always made him look at her. "What do you want to do?"

"Just make sure you're okay, I guess," he muttered, dropping his gaze again. To his utter surprise, Granger didn't say anything to him. Instead she carefully took his hand and began to walk slowly back to the common room. Draco followed her, watching their hands the entire time they walked and nearly smiling at the feeling.

"Go to bed," she said once they reached the common room. "I won't come out every night, Malfoy-" he was almost saddened by the fact that she'd gone back to his surname, but he didn't say anything about it. "-but every now and then, okay? But you need to get regular sleep. I'll try and sleep through the night too, if it makes you feel better. Does that sound okay?" He once again said nothing, but nodded slightly. He was too stunned by the sudden turn of events in his evening to register the fact that Granger had squeezed his hand before letting it go and walking back to her own room. He didn't actually move until the door to the common room opened and because he didn't want to deal with Boot or Abbott, Draco hurried into his own room.


	33. Chapter 33

The past two weeks of her life had been calm, something that pleased her. She'd reached an understanding with Malfoy; every other night she would come out to the common room around two in the morning to see him sitting in his chair, reading something or working on homework. On the nights that he wasn't supposed to come out into the common room, Hermione would open her door just to check. It always pleased her when she didn't see him out there, as it meant that he was sleeping. Hermione could tell that it was helping him, as he looked better than he had before.

Tonight, however, was not a night where Malfoy was supposed to stay in his room though he did have a lot of homework to do. Hermione could tell that he was getting frustrated because he kept sighing angrily and shifting his books. She couldn't tell what assignment he was working on but she did know that she'd already finished all of hers. And so, with nothing better to do, Hermione glanced at him. "Do you want any help with that?"

He looked up then, confused. Hermione was sure he'd only heard her speak and not at all what she'd actually said. "Excuse me?"

"You look like you could use some help,"

"I'm fine,"

"All right," she said, slightly disappointed by his rejection. She turned back to the book she'd been reading and sighed quietly, but Hermione was sure he couldn't hear her. They went on for another half of an hour or so, and Malfoy just kept sighing louder and louder.

"I just don't get it!" he said loudly, slamming the book shut and tossing it onto the floor.

Hermione rolled her eyes; they probably could have been done by now if he'd taken her up on her first offer. Hermione slid off the couch and onto the floor, grabbing his book and opening it. "What page are you on?"

"Four hundred and seven," he muttered, moving to sit next to her. He had his essay sitting in his lap and a quill next to him, and Hermione sighed as she realized that he was working on Arithmancy. She'd had difficulties with the homework as well, though it certainly hadn't caused her to start throwing books.

"All right. Just let me reread this, okay? It's been a few hours," He nodded and kept silent, frowning deeply as he watched her. Hermione wasn't entirely sure of how long they sat on the floor, discussing the subject until Malfoy got it, but she was definitely yawning by the end of it. She wasn't really surprised, as her nightmares had been getting more vivid in the past few days so she was sleeping less, but she didn't want Malfoy to know that fact. He would insist on waking up with her every night then and Hermione didn't want to see him start to look exhausted again. It had been hard enough to agree on every other day, as Hermione had wanted it to be twice a week and Draco-She paused, smiling slightly which he didn't seem to notice. She'd never thought of him as Draco before but it made him feel like more of a friend. Anyway, he'd wanted to have Friday night as the only one he didn't wake up for. Getting him to every other day had taken a lot of energy that Hermione knew she didn't have.

Somehow, Hermione had ended up shifting closer to him as they'd talked about Arithmancy, and she quickly became aware that her hand, the one she wasn't using to talk with, was resting right next to his. And somehow a few of his fingers had ended up over hers. It was an odd thing to become aware of as a conversation began to die down, but Hermione couldn't prevent her mind from going to that place. She was a little too surprised because it had to have been Malfoy who'd placed his hand on top of hers, and he didn't seem fazed by the action. Hermione wanted to point it out, just to see what he would say, but she decided to keep quiet. If she mentioned it then he would get as far away from her as possible and probably retreat to his room because he wanted to get away from her. Hermione didn't understand why it was such a big deal to him every time one of them grabbed the other's hand, but apparently it was and Hermione didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

It seemed as if he was forcing the words out, but eventually Malfoy said, "Thank you,"

"It's no trouble," Hermione shrugged, trying her best not to actually move her hand. "I really don't mind helping people with their homework. I mean, as long as they're actually trying with it. I used to do it for Harry and Ron all the time,"

Malfoy scowled at the mention of Ron's name but Hermione wasn't too surprised. He seemed to be more accepting of Harry, but he still hated Ron as much as he had in the past. If not more. "I won't make this an everyday occurrence,"

"I wouldn't expect you to," He rolled his eyes and offered her something that was almost a smile, but not really. Malfoy yawned loudly, turning his face away from her and holding a hand to his mouth so it wouldn't sound quite as loud. "You could always go back to bed," she commented quietly.

"I'm fine, Granger. If I remember correctly you yawned twenty minutes ago and you don't seem to want to go back to bed,"

"You know why though, you-"

"And you know why I won't go either,"

Hermione sighed but nodded. He had made his reason quite plain since the beginning, and Hermione didn't feel like arguing about it at the moment. "Well, is that it for your homework then?"

"Yes," he said, sounding a bit relieved. "I'm all set for the next few days unless someone decides to assign another essay,"

"They often do that," Hermione said, chuckling.

Malfoy rolled his eyes but he didn't make a comment on that. "How do you always have yours finished with the snap of a finger?"

Hermione shrugged and shook her head. "I don't really. I just do it quickly,"

He nodded and fell silent, reading over the finished essay in his lap. Hermione, with nothing else to do, focused on their hands once more. It was an odd sensation but she wanted to smile at it. It was something she expected people did when they liked each other, but Hermione knew that wasn't the case with her and Malfoy. For starters, Malfoy could barely even admit that they were friends and Hermione hadn't focused on anything like that since she'd stopped dating Ron. It was probably only happening because he'd made an unconscious gesture. And he still hadn't noticed it. Hermione didn't know how he could have missed it though; his hands were surprisingly warm and Hermione was sure hers would have been colder. She'd never thought that he would be a warm person, maybe because he was so pale and cold, but she could feel the heat coming off of him. She was tempted to ask if he was feeling all right but that would mean making Malfoy realize what she was thinking about and Hermione wasn't really willing to do that.

"Well it doesn't sound like it will earn less than an A," he said, shrugging slightly. "Which is no O, but I can handle that,"

"It's almost impossible to get an O in Arithmancy,"

"Please, Granger, I know that's probably what you're getting,"

Hermione couldn't argue the point, as it was true, but she didn't want to admit that to him. "I think it's getting close to five," she said instead, watching Malfoy raise his eyebrows. "I should probably go take a shower,"

"Oh," he said simply, shrugging. "Well, then, have fun or whatever," He didn't seem interested in what she was saying and Hermione knew she wouldn't be interested if he'd told her the same thing, but to her absolute surprise the fingers he'd been resting on top of her hand had suddenly tightened.

"Malfoy?"

"What?"

"My hand," she said, glancing down and seeing Malfoy following her gaze. Color immediately rose to his face and Hermione wanted to laugh at the sight, but she was distracted by him slowly releasing her hand.

"I didn't mean-"

"I-" she hesitated before looking at him with a nervous expression. "I wasn't complaining or anything,"

"What?" he asked again, surprise on every inch of his face. "But-"

Hermione was surprised at her own words, so she wasn't entirely sure what she was supposed to say at first. "I don't know," she decided on, glancing at Malfoy nervously.

Seven hours later, Hermione was at lunch and thinking about the events from that morning. She wouldn't have the opportunity to ask him about it until the next night, and that was only if Hermione decided to ask him about it. Because truth be told, Hermione didn't even know what she had meant and how could she ask him when she didn't even know what her own answer would be?

Hermione shook her head slightly and rested her head in her hands. It was too confusing to think about, and not much confused her. Oddly enough it reminded her of her sixth year, when she'd started seriously feeling things for Ron, but once again she knew that wasn't the case. Sure Malfoy was her friend now but she didn't want anything to happen with him in any other department. Harry only grudgingly accepted their friendship and she wouldn't lose him by tricking herself into thinking that something was happening between her and Malfoy. Or Draco; she preferred to think about him with his first name. It felt more normal; she didn't go around thinking about everyone else by their surnames so why should she do that to him? She'd make an effort at least, as habits were hard to break.

"Hermione?"

The voice shocked her more than anything else; she hadn't talk to Ron since things between them had ended. "Ron?"

"I thought we could talk,"

"I-"

"Please, Hermione," he said, his voice slightly pleading. Hermione hadn't heard him sound like that in a long time, at least not since the battle.

Against her better judgment, she nodded weakly. "Okay," Before she knew it, she was being led through the hall, quite a few people turning to look at them. She caught the eye of Malfoy-Draco, who'd been peacefully eating at the Slytherin table. His eyes were wide and slightly angry, and he dropped his fork to his plate with a loud clatter. He started to stand from the table, his anger quickly turning to fury, but Hermione shook her head slightly. To her surprise he lowered himself back down, his fists clenched tightly as he glared at her. Talking to Ron would obviously make him mad, but she hadn't expected that. "What did you want to talk about?" she asked as he led her toward the Gryffindor common room. It had been a long time since she'd been back there; she hadn't really seen the point since she had the common room she shared with Terry, Hannah and Draco.

"I thought we could talk about us," Ron said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as they entered the near-empty common room.

"Us?"

"Yeah. Because I've given it a lot of thought, you know? And we made sense, Hermione, we really did," She didn't say anything, because to be quite honest she didn't know what to say. "Um, because..." he trailed off, scratching his neck this time. Hermione could tell how uncomfortable the whole situation was making him, and she was beginning to think she understood how Malfoy felt whenever she grabbed her hand or he grabbed hers. "Well, you know. We know a lot about each other and we care about each other and, well, I think that maybe we..."

"Ron what are you trying to say?"

"I think we should give it another shot,"

"_What_?"

"Look, Hermione, I'm sorry for all that happened. I guess I just got angrier when you started hanging around Malfoy and I didn't handle it well-"

"Ron it's not like it started then,"

"But it got worse then, didn't it? And you know I never really meant it,"

"I did?"

"Of course you did," he said, rolling his eyes and smiling at her. "Besides, I think we both know if you hadn't started talking to Malfoy then things would have worked themselves out in the end,"

"I'll ask you not to speak rudely about my friends," she said icily, her eyes narrowing as she looked at him.

"Friends? You and Malfoy? Hermione, are you serious?"

"Yes,"

"But what about everything he's done?"

"I'm aware of what he's done Ron, and I know that I can't just forget about everything, but I can forgive him,"

"Forgive him? For trying to kill me two years ago?"

"I'm not saying I like what he did-"

"For being a bloody Death Eater, Hermione? How could you possibly forgive him for that? What about for being a part of the group that made you wipe your parents memories? Or how about this, how about the fact that he watched you tortured and didn't do a damn thing about it?"

Hermione stared at him. She knew that he was right, in a way. After all he had done all of those things, but Hermione didn't want to dwell on the past any more than she already had to. "Ron how do you plan on-"

"It's his kind that killed Fred!"

"He didn't actually-"

"He wanted to kill us in the Room of Requirement, Hermione! He wanted to kill you and he would have killed you or watched you killed if Harry and I hadn't stopped him!"

"Ron-"

"How could you possibly be friends with someone like him?"

"I know you're upset, Ron, but you have to understand that if we don't want another war we have to learn to forgive each other. He did horrible things, Ron, I'm not disagreeing with you, but you have to try and forgive him. I did and-"

"Okay, so he's brainwashed you somehow," Ron said, cutting her off and glaring at her.

"No he hasn't," Hermione sighed angrily. "I'm just trying to be a decent person,"

"So he's brainwashed you, because the Hermione _I_ know would never be friends with someone who tried to kill other people,"

He had a point, Hermione knew. In the past she would have been horrified of her actions and she didn't know what had changed, but something had. It wasn't like Draco was the same as he'd been in past years but Hermione knew it didn't just excuse everything from the past. "Look, Ron, I'm not brainwashed. I'm _friends_ with him and you'll have to accept that if you really want another chance, as you say you do. And that's not making any guarantees either,"

"I'm not going to accept that you're friends with Death Eater,"

Hermione sighed heavily and shook her head. It had been a mistake to come and talk to him, she knew that now. "Do you remember what Harry told us Sirius said to him?"

"What?"

"Remember, Harry told us that Sirius said the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. You need to realize that, Ron. If you did or if you'd pay even the tiniest bit of attention you would notice that he's disgusted by the Dark Mark on his arm. He cut his hand on glass and was so worried that I would see it when I tried to heal him that he flinched away from me. I didn't understand that either until I pressed him about it,"

"He's acting then, Hermione. You can't let yourself be fooled by him,"

"And yet it's perfectly acceptable to be fooled by you?" she asked angrily, turning her back on him and walking out of the common room. Hermione had expected to be thinking nonstop about the conversation with Ron and while she was thinking about that, it was in the back of her mind. She would focus on that later; for now she needed to think about how she was going to handle the very angry Slytherin that would no doubt be waiting for her in the common room.


	34. Chapter 34

Draco Malfoy had never been more furious with himself than he had been that morning. He'd grabbed her hand. Granted he hadn't actually realized what he'd been doing, not until she'd pointed it out, but still. The only thing that kept him slightly calm about the entire ordeal was the fact that Granger had to have noticed before she'd told him about it. He didn't know how long she'd known about it, but she hadn't said anything until she'd needed to leave. He didn't know why she'd kept quiet about it, but he had other things to think about.

The reason why he was pacing around the common room was that Granger had gone to talk to Weasley. He was a right foul git, in Draco's opinion, even though Weasley was a better person than he was. But Granger had gone with him willingly and she'd made him sit down. Honestly! She had some nerve to tell him to sit back down when he only wanted to make sure she was going to be okay. He wasn't entirely sure why that had bothered him so much, though he refused to think about it. Really, thinking about things never led him anywhere good.

And so he was left pacing, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to her that wouldn't lead to a fight. He couldn't believe that a fight was what he was worried about; he fought with Granger all the time so why should now be any different? He didn't know; he didn't want to know. To be completely honest, Draco was sure that- "If you keep pacing, you're going to burn a hole in the floor,"

He paused then, looking toward the door. Granger was standing there, though Draco hadn't noticed her come in. She looked like she was worried about something, probably the conversation that was supposed to follow, and Draco was worried about it too. He refused to upset her; it would only set them back and Draco was sick of that happening. "That's idiotic," he said finally.

She laughed quietly and shrugged. "You never know, it could happen,"

"Doubt it," he muttered, shaking his head and folding his arms across his chest. And then he asked the question he really wanted to know. "What did Weasley want?"

"To talk,"

"About?"

"Us,"

"That's still a think with you two?" he asked, wishing the words didn't anger him as much as they did.

"Ron wants it to be,"

"I see,"

Granger frowned at him then, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Please don't use that tone with me,"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't talk to me with that disgusted tone, Malfoy," she said angrily. "You have no right to be disgusted by my actions. All I did was talk to someone I hope to be friends with again someday. So don't you dare use that tone with me,"

"Granger-"

"I've had enough of people disapproving of my actions today and I won't let you do it too," She clenched her fists and her eyes narrowed even more. "Ron was going off on me for being friends with you. I explained my reasoning to him but I won't try to explain anything to you. You should know my reasons,"

He did; Granger had a loyalty problem that was incredibly annoying. On any other day he would have kept digging until he got the answer he wanted, but he really, for some reason, did not want to make her angry. "I know,"

"You-Oh," It became apparent then that Granger thought there was going to be a fight. And Draco was angry, furious really, and he wanted nothing more than to scream at her but that would get them nowhere. "So you aren't mad?"

"It shouldn't matter if I am or not,"

"I know that, but I prefer it when you're not,"

"I am mad, Granger," he said, ignoring her comment. "I don't like you talking to him because then I'm worried you're going to get back together and he'll be an ass again,"

"But-

"I don't like the thought, Granger. I don't know why I feel that way but I know that I do,"

Granger stared at him for a moment, her eyebrows raising. "Well," she said slowly, "I don't plan on starting up another relationship with him any time soon, so you don't have to worry about it,"

Draco nearly sighed in relief, but he was flustered enough by what he'd admitted to her that he managed to keep quiet. "Okay,"

He could tell that there was something she wanted to say, but he had a feeling her actual words weren't it. "I should go talk to Harry. If I don't explain what happened before Ron, he won't be happy with me,"

Before he could reply, she walked out of the common room. "Damn it," This time he picked up his textbook and threw it across the room. It didn't snap in half like Draco had wanted it to, but it fell to the floor with a loud clatter that didn't make him feel any better. He hadn't even gotten to say half of what was on his mind before Granger had decided to leave. He'd wanted her to stick around because he had something to ask about the essay they'd finished the previous night and honestly, though he wouldn't admit it aloud, he was starting to like having her around. Which was why Granger's stupid every other night arrangement was a pain in the ass; he'd gotten used to being with her every night, it was practically the only constant in his life and now she was taking that away from him too. It was shaping up to be a rather angry day, which never did work out well for him. No doubt he would wake up the next morning, a bloody Monday and he despised those, and he would be just as angry as he was now. He wasn't the best at letting things go.

Nearly six hours later Draco was still sitting in the common room, alone with a book in his lap as he tried to decide whether or not he actually wanted to go down to dinner. He wasn't that hungry to begin with and going down meant he'd actually have to see other people and he wasn't really in the mood to do that. Draco never was, though he had moments where he enjoyed company. Like that morning. With Granger. Holding her hand and-Damn it he was supposed to be trying to decide whether or not to go to dinner!

Draco decided rather quickly after that thought that he wasn't going. It wouldn't get him anything as he wasn't hungry enough to eat and if he did get hungry he could always go down to the kitchens. He didn't see himself getting hungry though; he had far too much on his mind to focus on anything else.

The door to the common room bursting open was the only thing that drew Draco away from his thoughts. Boot came in, breathing heavily with wide, wild eyes and for once it didn't look like he hated Draco's very existence. "Hospital wing," he gasped out, a horrified expression on his face.

For a second that Draco was surprised by, Granger entered his mind and he was worried that something had happened to her. "What's going on?" he asked instead of jumping to conclusions and rushing down like he was itching to.

"First year Slytherins-cursed-Now, Malfoy, let's go!"

He was out of his chair faster than he'd thought possible. Draco didn't care much for the people in his house or any house for that matter, but the fact that someone thought it a good idea to curse first years was horrible. It was probably just feelings being taken out on them from the previous years, or maybe they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, Boot couldn't even say another phrase; Draco was out the door and storming down the stairs before he got the chance.

McGonagall and Pomfrey were talking in hushed tones in the corner of the room. Draco looked to see a huddled group of four young Slytherins that were sitting together, whispering and looking up nervously as they noticed that Draco was present. Abbott was busy rushing over to Boot to talk about the matter. Granger was the only one currently with the Slytherins; she was on her knees in front of them and listening as the one on the far left talked quietly.

He recognized the Slytherins almost immediately; it was easy to spot a kid of a Death Eater and two of the ones on the bed were. The other two had to just be friends with the Death Eater's children, but it seemed no one had really cared about that. At least, Draco realized, they looked like they were okay. He'd had horrible thoughts on the way down of little kids that were badly hurt because someone thought it would be a bit of fun-or worse, that the kids deserved it.

Draco hesitated, trying to figure out if it would be better to go interrogate McGonagall and Pomfrey about what happened or if he should go to Granger. Boot and Abbott were out of the question, as the only decent thing Boot had done that year was come get Draco when the first years were hurt. Granger won out in the debate in his head, and Draco sighed before making his way over to her. The Slytherin that was talking, a boy who's surname Draco didn't know, began to trail off as he knelt down next to Granger. "Oh good, you're here,"

"What's going on?" Draco asked quietly, eyeing the first years warily. They were looking at him the same way and Draco wanted to sigh again. There was a reason he didn't interact with younger students and this was it.

It looked like Granger was about to say something when the only girl in the group of Slytherins decided to speak up. She did not look pleased and she folded her arms across her chest; her eyes narrowed at Draco immediately. "Some fourth years thought it would be fun," she said angrily. "They wanted to curse these two numbskulls because of who their parents are so Daniel and I tried to stand up for them and they just threw spells at us too," It seemed as if the girl had lost the nerves she'd had when Draco had first walked in, because she was fully glaring at him now. "We didn't do anything wrong,"

Draco surprised himself again by saying, "I didn't think you had done anything,"

"You-But when Elizabeth called for help the other people said-" the boy to the girl's left began, looking surprised.

"Did she say it was your fault?" Draco asked, nodding to Granger who was staring at him in surprise.

"No. But she's only trying to make us feel better because it's her job," the girl, Elizabeth, said.

"Granger wouldn't do that. She, I don't know, cares about people and how they're feeling, and not because she has to,"

"So close to a compliment," Granger chimed in, rolling her eyes and knocking into his shoulder gently. "Honestly, it's appalling what happened. If you'd just tell me who did it-"

"No," the girl cut in again, looking at her friends and shaking her head. "It'll only make it worse. We just want to go back to the common room,"

"Give us a minute," Granger said, standing up and pulling Draco with her. She walked away from the Slytherins without looking back, though Draco found himself peering over his shoulder at the small group. "They won't tell any of us who did it,"

"I'm not surprised," Draco muttered, shrugging slightly. "What happened anyway?"

"It wasn't anything harmful," Granger explained quietly. "Just a bunch of silly hexes that upset them more than anything else. I don't think people can really hurt first years without being horrible people," Draco felt a twinge of guilt in his chest at the words, after all hadn't he hurt first years when Hogwarts was run by Death Eaters? But he wouldn't think about that now, there were more important things. "I just wish they would tell me who did it, or at least what house they're in. The kids could be punished then. And they deserved it, attacking four defenseless Slytherins like that," She sighed heavily and shook her head, which Draco took as his sign to speak.

"Granger it will only make matters worse if they tell who it was. Two of those kids have Death Eater parents; people are taking frustrations out on them because of that. The other two stood up for them, they got the same. It would happen with anyone even close to the Death Eaters,"

"But no one's come after me," she stated quietly, obviously not really thinking about her words. At first all of the color drained from Draco's face, though a few seconds later his cheeks were burning with heat. Granger looked at him then, her eyes wide. "I didn't mean that,"

"It's true, isn't it? You got close to me and no one's coming after you. It's because you're a hero, Granger, that's why. Everyone looks up to you, which I believe I've stated before,"

"But I-"

"I'm going to ask McGonagall if I can take them back to the common room,"

"Draco-" He was shaken by the use of his name; there were really only two people in the word who used it now: Granger and his mother. "-come with you, okay? We'll walk down together and then we can talk about what we're supposed to do about this,"

"I can take them alone,"

"Well-"

"I don't need a supervisor, Granger," he said icily, turning on his heel to walk toward McGonagall. He didn't feel the least bit guilty about interrupting her conversation with Pomfrey about having given the first years Calming Draughts after they'd come in hysterics, as he was sure that was obvious.

Do I have permission to take them back to the common room?" he asked, a bored tone to his voice that Draco knew sounded forced.

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said, frowning at the Slytherins. "If they won't talk tonight they should at least get some comfortable sleep, and the other Slytherins will take care of them. Come to my office afterwards; we'll be having an emergency meeting to try and get to the bottom of this. And hopefully find a solution,"

Draco nodded stiffly as an answer before walking back to the first years. They stared at him, confused, and he nodded toward the door. "Let's go,"

"Where?"

"Back to the common room," he said, frowning at them and folding his arms across his chest. "You'll be safe there," he added as an afterthought, watching a bit of relief form on the girl's face. She looked at her friends before standing up. They each grabbed a hand of one of their friends and set a determined look on their faces. Draco almost rolled his eyes; he'd probably acted similar at some point in his life. "Let's go," he said again, leading them out of the hospital wing and toward the dungeons. They got to the Slytherin common room without incident and Draco walked to McGonagall's office once they were safely in the room. He walked into a rather large shouting matching among Boot, Abbott, and Granger.

He sighed immediately; it was going to be a long night.


	35. Chapter 35

Professor McGonagall had allowed them to keep arguing until midnight, though by that time it had turned into a shouting match between Terry and Malfoy. Hannah had already fallen asleep in her chair and Hermione honestly wasn't that far behind her. It had been the longest day so far, Hermione was sure, and she was just ready for it to end.

Terry was fighting fiercely for McGonagall to force the four Slytherins to just say who had hexed them so the fourth years could be punished and the matter could be erased from their minds. It was the best plan, he stated, because then the Slytherins would be safe and the other houses would know that actions like those were not going to be tolerated. Hermione had agreed with him, until Draco had started shouting back.

His idea was different; he was sure the other students would just make matters worse for the Slytherins if they told on anyone. Which was, Hermione remembered, what the Slytherins had said themselves. He was shouting furiously, telling Terry that the kids would be tortured if he made them do anything; it wasn't often Hermione saw him openly angry. He usually saved the shouting for when they were alone together. She didn't think she'd seen him so passionate before.

By the time he'd finished screaming at them, everyone was staring at Malfoy with wide eyes. Even Hannah had jerked awake halfway through to look at him. "What?" he snapped angrily, sitting back down. He'd stood at some point, maybe when Terry had called him a fool and stood up as well. Hermione wasn't sure.

"Why," Professor McGonagall asked slowly, glancing at the clock and cringing slightly. It was already Monday, Hermione realized. It was not going to be a good night of sleep for anyone except Hannah, who'd gotten a good bit of time while Terry and Draco had been shouting at each other. "Mr. Malfoy, have you never brought up matters like this before? Do you mean to tell me that if someone attacked you, you wouldn't mention it?"

"No, I wouldn't. It would only make things worse between me and whoever did it and that's a waste of my time,"

"Like hell you won't," Hermione muttered, finally speaking up. Her eyes were glued to McGonagall's desk; she didn't want to look at Malfoy because he probably wouldn't be happy with her.

"Miss Granger? Do you have something to add?"

"I only mean to say, Professor, that if Draco gets attacked by someone, I'll be sure he tells. I don't give a damn," she said quietly, glancing at Malfoy only to see surprise on his face. "if that wastes your time,"

"Granger if I-"

"Mr. Malfoy, quiet please," McGonagall said. Hermione glanced at her to see an odd expression on her face; she looked like she was contemplating something but Hermione wasn't sure what. It should be what to do about the Slytherins, but the look on her face wasn't serious enough to make it seem like those were her present thoughts.

"But I-"

"Mr. Malfoy, quiet!"

Hermione looked at him again, frowning at the look on his face. He turned his gaze to her as well and scowled, though Hermione didn't see any hatred in his eyes like she had before they'd come back to Hogwarts. "Professor," Terry tried, though a look from McGonagall silenced him.

"I will think over both of your arguments," she said after a long pause. "I will let you know my decision sometime tomorrow. You are all excused from your first two classes in the morning, so get some sleep. I expect tomorrow won't be any easier. You're excused," Terry and Hannah all but ran out of the room. Malfoy wasn't far behind them. He got to the door before, "Just a moment, Mr. Malfoy," sounded through the room. Hermione had been in the process of standing up to go back to the common room, though she paused when he walked angrily back to McGonagall's desk.

"What?" he asked rudely, an attempt at forced politeness failing miserably.

"I fully expect you to-"

"I will do whatever I see fit, Professor," he said, his eyes narrowing. "You may think you have any amount of control over me, Granger, but you don't and you will not force me to say anything. And I won't, unless it involves-" He stopped then, a horrified expression crossing his face as he looked at her.

"Unless it involves what?" Hermione asked.

She'd hoped rather desperately that he would actually tell her what he was thinking, though she should have known that wouldn't have happened. "Nothing,"

Professor McGonagall looked between the two with a raised eyebrow. "What is-"

"Nothing," Malfoy said again. "May we be excused?" With a sigh McGonagall nodded and Malfoy grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the office. "What the hell were you thinking?" he hissed angrily.

"Let go of me," Hermione replied, ripping her arm out of his grip.

"What were you thinking, Granger? Saying something like that? Making it sound like you-"

"Like I what, Malfoy? Like I care about you and your wellbeing? I don't know how many times I have to establish that I do care. But I'm getting rather sick of having to do that so if you could just accept it and move on that would be fantastic,"

"Granger-"

"And, oh I don't know, if you could ever tell me what's on your mind instead of getting close to saying something and then shutting down, I'd very much enjoy that as well,"

"What do you expect me to say, Granger? In front of people what can I honestly say without causing a problem?"

"I-Well then-"

"You don't have an answer, Granger," he said knowingly, smirking at her. "You don't have an answer and you hate that I'm right about this,"

"I don't hate that you're-You're not-"

He stared at her, the smirk falling away and Hermione fell silent. He was right, she knew that. People would make it a big deal that they were friends and neither of them wanted to deal with that. Harry might try to defend Hermione, though he still didn't like that she was getting closer to Malfoy. Hermione was quickly learning not to care about that though. "If this doesn't stop-"

"If what doesn't stop?"

"This whole nearly spilling everything,"

"Malfoy-"

"If it doesn't stop, Granger, we can't keep this friendship thing. Or whatever it is,"

"Well you can't just keep me in the dark about everything you're thinking!"

"I'm not-"

"Well then, Malfoy, unless it involves what?"

He scowled at her again, though Hermione wasn't surprised by that. Him scowling in her direction was very common and sometimes she actually enjoyed seeing it. Things seemed normal then. "It's not fair of you to do this while you're keeping secrets too," he retorted.

"What secrets am I keeping?"

"You're not sleeping any better, I know,"

"Well then it's not a secret," Malfoy rolled his eyes and Hermione frowned at him. "So just tell me what you were going to say and we can go back to the common room and go to bed," His eyes flashed with anger and Hermione sighed. She knew it wasn't a good idea to keep pushing him but she wanted answers. She wanted to know why things were starting to feel odd between them and Hermione was convinced that Malfoy knew the answer. "It won't hurt you to share,"

"Unless it involves you," he said slowly, focusing his gaze on the window behind her head.

To say that she was shocked would be an understatement, a major understatement. "Excuse me?"

"You wanted to know what I was going to say, Granger. You never said I had to explain it,"

"No secrets, Malfoy. That's the new deal, so explain,"

"Then you have to share something too, Granger,"

"Fine. But you first,"

"The thought," he muttered, staring at her this time. "of someone saying something to me about you disturbs me. Makes me sick, in a way,"

"But-"

"I don't care if they're just talking about you, Granger, as long as it's not bad. But if someone said something to me that could result in something along the lines of what happened with those first years I..."

"You...?"

"I would lose it, I believe,"

"Why?"

"Granger," he groaned, running a hand over his face and looking at her with slightly pleading eyes.

She hesitated, torn between pushing him to hear his answer and letting it go so she wouldn't ruin things. After careful deliberation that lasted about five seconds, Hermione decided on the latter. "So it's my turn then?" She didn't wait for him to reply. "I... I liked holding your hand," she decided on saying. "If that's what you can call it, even," She wanted to say more, to get his current expression off his face and to make the heat leave her cheeks, but she couldn't. Hermione began frustrated with herself rather quickly. She could have said something about Harry or Ron or any other aspect of her life and she chose the one thing she hadn't wanted Malfoy to find out. "Come on then, let's get back to the common room,"

She walked away before he said anything else, though from the sound of footsteps behind her, Hermione knew that Draco was following her. The common room was empty when they reached it and Hermione quickly approached her door. She glanced back to see him shutting the door to the common room gently; he looked at her a few seconds later. "Granger I-"

"You don't have to say anything. I understand what you're going to say and I shouldn't have mentioned it anyway. I could have told you anything else-"

"Granger-"

"No, Draco, really, I know what you're-"

"Granger just _shut up_ and listen to me for once," he said angrily. "Okay? For once listen to what I have to say instead of jumping to conclusions!"

"I already know what you're going to say,"

"I doubt that,"

"No, I do. You're going to complain about me liking what happened and then you're going to say that it's ridiculous to feel that way and of course I'll have to agree with you because it is rather ridiculous," she said quickly, frowning at him. He almost looked amused, though a little angry was another good way to see it.

"If you tell a soul, Granger, I'll-"

"Tell what, Malfoy? That's I've embarrassed myself by admitting that to you? It wasn't exactly my plan,"

It was to her absolute surprise that he said, "I enjoyed it too,"

Before she could say anything else he walked into his room and shut the door firmly behind him. She wanted to walk over and pound on his door, demanding an explanation, but at the same time she really wanted him to get some sleep. He'd looked rather tired, not that she'd mentioned it, but he had. Hermione knew he'd be irritated with her if she said anything about it; he always got mad at her when she mentioned that he needed more sleep.

Hermione was not going to get any sleep that night though. She laid down in her bed, yes, and tried to close her eyes but she only ended up staring at the ceiling. And thinking; Hermione had been in that position before, though it was never Malfoy she'd thought about before. Honestly, if she'd ever thought she'd be thinking about him instead of sleeping then Hermione would have laughed herself silly. She was laying awake, thinking about Draco Malfoy.

She sat up slowly, running her hands over her face and sighing. She wouldn't be getting any sleep. She'd already spent an hour staring at the ceiling and even though she was tired, sleep was a long ways away. Instead, she cracked open a book and sat reading until five in the morning, when she decided it would be a good idea to get ready for the day. It didn't matter to her that Professor McGonagall had excused them from their first two classes; Hermione couldn't sleep anyway so why would she need to skip them? She'd only have to make up the classes later and Hermione had no desire to do that.

By the time Hermione got to her last class of the day, Arithmancy, she was about ready to fall asleep on her desk. Of course Arithmancy was the only class in her day that she shared with Draco, who she'd been careful to avoid looking at during the day. And of course that was the class he sat by her in. About halfway through, knowing that she was prepared to fall asleep despite being called to McGonagall's office after classes, Hermione felt something bump her knee. She blinked in surprise, sitting up a little straighter and glancing to her left where Malfoy was sitting. His cheeks were a bright pink color and when she looked down, she saw his pale, shaking hand near hers. Hermione wasn't entirely sure what had inspired him to reach for her hand halfway through class, though she didn't think over it much as she reached over and took his hand in hers. It was as warm as it had been before and Hermione smiled slightly. Malfoy couldn't see; he was looking straight ahead at Professor Vector. At the same time his grip on her hand tightened slightly.


	36. Chapter 36

Holding her hand had become a regular experience, one that Draco had no intention of stopping any time soon. Yes her hands were almost alwyas colder than his own, but Draco could handle the uncomfortable feeling for a few moments. It was well worth it to feel that happy feeling in the back of his head that almost made him want to smile at her. He got close, every now and then, but smiling at her still felt odd. Yet every other night they would sit on the floor in front of the sofa, fingers laced together as he did homework and Granger read, and he risked smiling at her. Granger reading was something Draco soon found that he loved; whenever she got excited or upset about something in the book she would squeeze his hand, her fingers unable to relax until things worked themselves out. Draco tried not to laugh the entire time that happened. They would hold hands under the desk in every class they shared except for Potions. It made him nervous at first, as he was convinced that someone would notice but so far no one had. And so they kept doing it.

Which meant that on the nights they stayed out of the common room, Draco was sure he was living in hell. It felt incredibly weird not to be awake at three in the morning with Granger and her books by his side. He wanted her there, he knew he did, though he refused to admit that part to Granger. The fact of the matter was, for the long eight hours they didn't see each other, Draco was sure he missed her. It was odd because it wasn't like they'd been parted for years, it was only a few hours. But he would much rather have Granger sitting next to him, each in their own worlds, but together. He wanted her to be around, a thought that would have mortified him even a year ago. But now what was he supposed to do? Write to his mother and admit that she was right about her making him happy? That didn't sound at all entertaining; his mother would never let him live it down if he told her that. There wasn't anyone else he could tell though; what, was he supposed to go up to Potter and explain the fact that he had certain feelings for Granger? Feelings that Draco wasn't even sure meant something? No, that would never work either. He knew he would have to work it out on his own, but that didn't sound very good either.

He could usually fall asleep on the nights when they stayed in their own rooms, but it didn't seem like sleep was going to come to him. Draco was irritated, tired, and sick of thinking about whatever was going on with Granger. Not to mention that, after two weeks of near silence, one of the first years that had been hexed had been hexed again. It was the girl, she'd been defending one of her friends again. Draco couldn't really remember her name, but he knew he wanted to find the fourth years that had done it and teach them what payback meant. He'd probably be expelled if he did that though, so he had to deal with Granger's attempts at calming him down for the hour before they'd gone to bed. McGonagall had thrown Draco's suggestion of letting it go out the window; apparently twice was too many times. Draco had been hexed twice in a month before when he was younger, though no one had done anything then. He didn't want the first years to go throw that, though he did want them to be able to figure things out so they could defend themselves. At the very least they should be able to defend themselves. McGonagall hadn't even listened to the girl, who'd pleaded for the headmistress to just let the matter go; she'd given the girl Veritaserum and the girl had cried when saying the names of a few Ravenclaws and Gryffindors.

And so he was angry, and being awake at three didn't help matters. The longer he lay in bed, glaring at the ceiling, the angrier he got and Draco knew it wouldn't get any better. He was contemplating knocking on Granger's door, as it was possible he could persuade her to come out into the common room and hold his hand, though it was a long shot. If he did, she would probably be mad at him because he was awake and trying to talk to her. Granger held true to her promise of only coming into the common room every other day, no matter how bad of a dream she'd had. And sometimes, when Draco came walking out of his room at six, he could tell that it had been really bad. On the nights it was bad she would be pale, her eyes would still be a little wide, and she could be a little jumpier. He'd decided not to mention that to her though, as it could upset her and Draco didn't want to do that.

"Stupid bloody agreements," he muttered angrily, shifting on the bed so he was laying on his side. He was sick of staring at the ceiling, it was ridiculously boring. Not that his wall was nay better, but at least he could glance out the window and see the darkness. It was dark in his room, of course, but at least the dark outside had something interesting when he looked up. There were stars there, and stars could always be a pleasant thing to look at. Sure there could be clouds but so far Draco couldn't see any and he was thankful for that. Granger would probably like the sky, but Draco wouldn't know.

"Damn it!" he said, louder as he punched his pillow and pulled the blankets over his head. He really just wanted to sleep and stop thinking about her, but she seemed to invade every train of thought that she could. It was beginning to frustrate him even more; if he could do nothing but think of Granger how was he supposed to sleep? Though maybe it was some kind of cruel joke, that wouldn't surprise him.

It was the beginning of February and very cold, but Draco didn't want to think about that fact as he climbed out of bed and opened the window. He breathed in a breath of the fresh, crisp air as he couldn't think of anything else to do. He refused to sit in the damn bed anymore though, it was going to drive him crazy. He leaned partly out of it, sighing soflty as he ran a hand through his hair. It was going to be a long night if he was going to sit by the window looking at the sky. The thought of breaking Granger's rule and going to her room to see if she would sit with him began to sound more and more appealing, but Draco fought off the urge to seek her out and remained leaning halfway out the window.

He almost fell down four stories when a scream sounded from the common room. Draco had jumped so badly that he'd banged his head against the side of the window and barely caught his balance before he fell out. He couldn't understand who would be screaming in the common room at three in the morning, but after a moment he realized there was only one possibility. Granger wouldn't have fallen asleep in the common room, she was far too careful to do that, though if she'd walked out and had another one of her flashback things... Though she hadn't really had one in so long, why would one pop up then? The questions he had didn't matter though; he ran out of his room almost as soon as he realized who it was.

Boot and Abbott were stumbling out of their rooms as well, both looking incredibly confused. Boot looked at Draco and frowned before looking around the common room. "What's-"

"Granger are you all right?" Draco asked quickly, walking briskly to where she was kneeling on the floor. She was caught about halfway between the sofa and the bathroom and she was looking at the three of them. Her face was quickly turning red and Draco couldn't help but feel bad for her. She didn't want people to know what was going on with her and now Boot and Abbott would be able to figure it out if they thought about it. He dropped to his knees and went to reach out and grab her hand, a gesture to let her know that he was there for her, but he pulled back with a glance at Abbott and Boot.

"Hermione what's-" Boot began, but Abbott put a hand on his arm to silence him.

"Are you all right?" Abbott asked gently, staying still. It was quite obvious that she wanted to walk over to Granger and comfort her in some way, but she seemed to know what Granger would want. "Hermione?"

"I-I'm fine-I'm so sorry to have waken you," she said shakily, tearing her eyes away from Draco and looking at Abbott and Boot. She offered a nervous smile that Draco knew was forced, and he sighed quietly. "You should all go back to bed,"

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about whatever happened?" Abbott asked.

"No, that's all right Hannah," Her voice was shaking ever so slightly, and Draco frowned. He wanted to know what was wrong, what she'd seen but he also didn't want to ask in front of Boot and Abbott. "Thank you though," Boot and Abbott retreated to their rooms in a reluctant manner and Granger looked back at him. "That means you too,"

He grabbed her hand then, giving it a small squeeze. Color rushed to his cheeks, of course, but neither said anything about that. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

"I just saw something, that's all,"

"If it was a bug, Granger-"

"It wasn't a bug," she snapped, frowning at him.

"Well then what was it?"

"Just something,"

"You can tell me, you know. I thought we trusted each other or something. Didn't you say that's what you wanted?"

"Of course that's what I want, I just-"

"You just what, Granger?"

"I-Promise you won't laugh?"

"I make no guarantees. If it was ridiculous I may not be able to hold it in,"

She smiled slightly then, shaking her head at him and rolling her eyes. "I saw... Well... Do you remember Colin Creevey?"

"The annoying kid with the camera?"

"He wasn't annoying,"

"Fine, the kid with the camera?"

"Yes,"

"You saw him? What about him?"

"Well, it's just... he died in the war, Draco,"

"He did?"

She nodded, a pained expression crossing her face for a moment. "He came to fight even though he was too young. Kind of like Ginny,"

"So you saw him fighting?"

"No, I... I tripped over him,"

"What?"

"I don't remember it happening in real life, but I was coming back from the bathroom and all the sudden he was there and I-I couldn't stop the scream before it happened. I didn't mean to wake anyone,"

"I didn't think you did,"

She nodded again, sighing. "You should go back to bed, Draco,"

"I wasn't sleeping anyway,"

"What?"

He shrugged slightly, debating what he wanted to actually tell her. "I couldn't stop thinking long enough to fall asleep. I'd rather-"

He stopped suddenly, frowning as he didn't want to share his last thought with her. To his relief she didn't ask what he was going to say; she was too busy in her own thoughts. "I guess it wouldn't be a huge problem if we... I mean if you wanted to...You're not sleeping anyway," she said finally.

Draco almost smiled yet again. He stood instead and turned to his room. "I'll go grab my Charms essay," he stated, watching Granger retreat to her own room. She was in their spot on the floor when he returned with his textbook, essay, quill, and ink, and he sat down beside her. It took a few seconds to get comfortable on the floor, as it always did, though as he reached over and laced his fingers with hers he felt better. Draco started on his essay, as usually, and Granger kept reading her book. He could tell she was distracted though, probably with what she'd seen and with what Abbott and Boot would probably figure out, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do to make her feel better. "Talk to me,"

"What?"

"Reading's not going to make you stop thinking about it. So just talk to me. I'll still listen, but I'm still going to work on this essay,"

He listened, as he said he would, as she talked about anything and everything that came to her mind. He didn't mind, not really; he was just glad that they were sitting together again. He was glad to feel her warmth start to warm his cold skin. He hadn't realized how cool he'd been getting hanging out of the window to look at the stars, but Granger was definitely helping to warm him back up.

At some point, he really wasn't sure when, Granger had leaned her head against his shoulder. At first it made him a little uncomfortable, as it was different than just holding hands and he could feel her jaw moving as she talked to him. But after a while, maybe an hour of her on his shoulder, Draco found that he started to mind less and less. It made him feel closer to her and that was something that Draco definitely enjoyed. Sure it had only been two weeks since they'd started holding hands, but Draco was sure that would be the end of how close they got. As five neared, the time Granger usually got ready for the day, he found that she was talking less. Soon enough, she whispered, "Thank you," and pulled her hand away from his as she sat up. "Thank you for sitting out here with me,"

"It was better than staring at the ceiling,"

Granger chuckled softly. "I know," she nodded. "I spend half of my nights staring at that ceiling and-"

"You're still not sleeping well? I thought it would have gotten better by now,"

"Well, I didn't think it was something we needed to talk about,"

"But if you're not sleeping and I'm not sleeping on our nights away from each other-"

"You're not sleeping either?"

"Of course not. It's rather hard to sleep when I'm thinking. But then if neither of us are sleeping then why are we still doing this? Spending nights alone-"

"You'll get bored of me at some point, Malfoy," she said immediately, frowning at him. "Besides, I'm sure it's preventing fights and I don't want to fight with you. Anyway, I should go get ready,"

"Granger-"

"I'm not changing my mind. Some day you will start sleeping normally and I won't take any chances. What if it's the next time we're supposed to stay in our rooms? Or the time after that? If we meet each other out here every night then you'll never have the opportunity,"

"But that's not-"

"I won't argue this," And with that she turned her back to him and walked into her room, disappearing for a few moments before going straight to the bathroom. Draco sighed, running a hand over his face and walking back to his room. At least he'd finished his essay; that and holding Granger's hand might be the only good things to have come from that night.


	37. Chapter 37

It was Valentine's day. Not that Hermione had a ton of interest in the holiday, she never had, though most of the other students seemed to be interested. It wasn't the same large, festive event Lockhart had made it in second year, but most were paying attention to it. Harry and Ginny were acting like a typical couple, though they were a bit sappier than usual. Even Terry had been acting rather sweet to a girl in Ravenclaw that Hermione didn't know the name of. Hermione just didn't have an interest in it, not anymore. Half of her mind was occupied with the thought that it should be a special day for Remus and Tonks; they shouldn't be dead. The other half was focusing on school, as there were still classes. Some of the professors had gone with the holiday; Slughorn had them brew a weak love potion and then he'd assigned an essay on the dangers of them. He'd even brought back Amortentia as an example. Most of the girls in class had tried walking over to it again, but Hermione had remained firmly in her place. She'd walked past it to get back to her spot and smelled it then anyway. She hadn't caught a trace of spearmint toothpaste or freshly mown grass, which she took to mean she was no longer attracted to Ron even though she'd known that for a while. Instead she'd smelled traces of something that smelled remarkably clean and the smell of Fred and George's bruise removal paste. As bright as she knew she was, Hermione wasn't sure what that meant. Though she was fairly certain she wasn't falling for George.

The love potion had not been pleasant to brew with Draco though. In fact it had been rather awkward. They were both red in the face before they even started brewing, though Hermione was sure no one had noticed that. Even if they did, Hermione didn't know what they would say. She didn't know what she would say either, as she didn't know why brewing a potion with him had flustered her so much. They'd brewed plenty together since they'd started working together, and she'd never had a problem then. Maybe the Amortentia in the front of the room had thrown her off, as she was convinced that she was still smelling that clean scent. Though there was a lid on the Amortentia cauldron, so Hermione couldn't understand how that could happen.

With a shake of her head, Hermione adjusted the book on her lap. She'd been attempting to do her homework for the past hour so she could just go down to dinner and not have to worry about it, but nothing was happening. It wasn't often that Hermione got stuck, but her mind was too busy thinking of other things to be able to focus on how dangerous a love potion can be. Hermione sighed quietly and packed away her things, sticking them inside her room. She didn't know what she planned on doing in the half hour before dinner, but she knew that sitting on the sofa and staring at a half finished essay would drive her crazy. She was sure that her drifting thoughts were proof of her mind slipping away. Which was a horrible thought, and at such a young age... Hermione rolled her eyes and left the common room. If she didn't stop that depressing train of thought then nothing would ever get better.

The most comfortable place for her besides the common room was the library, so Hermione decided to go there. She could always get another book to read that night, as it was one of the nights when she didn't meet Draco in the common room and she didn't want to reread one of the books she'd brought with her at the beginning of the year. Hermione knew that she could browse the shelves of the library for hours, even though it wouldn't take her that long to find ten books she wanted to read. It might only take her five minutes to do that.

She passed a couple kissing before she walked in, and Hermione scowled. Yes it was the day of love or whatever, but Hermione wasn't a fan of doing things publically like that couple was. She was fairly sure the girl being kissed was Hannah though, so Hermione hadn't said anything. At least she'd enjoyed herself; Hermione had to guess that if some enjoyment came from the action she couldn't be too irritated with it happening.

The library was rather empty when she walked in, though that wasn't surprising. It was often empty, as many prefer studying in their common room where distractions were easy to find; Hermione had always found studying in the Gryffindor common room infuriating because of that. Especially when Fred and George had been in school; it had been almost unbearable then to try and study there. Hermione sighed again; thinking about the twins brought back memories of Fred's death, which she didn't need, and the confusing scent she'd smelled in Potions.

Her thoughts soon scattered though, as she'd caught sight of Malfoy sitting at a table, looking rather uncomfortable. The four first years who'd been attacked were sitting around him, talking rather quietly, and his eyebrows were raised in concern. The girl, Hermione thought her name was Elizabeth but she wasn't sure if she was remembering correctly, was doing most of the talking. Hermione wasn't surprised by that; she'd done most of the talking that night in the hospital wing as well. For a moment Hermione had the intent of walking over and asking what was going on, but then she realized something: no one had ever approached him to talk about their concerns. No one had ever felt comfortable. But these first years, the ones who had looked at him so incredibly warily when he'd first met them, decided that they trusted him enough to come to him with whatever was happening.

A wave of emotion rushed over her at that moment, though Hermione wasn't sure if it was pride or something else. She would go with pride; that was safer. She was proud of him because even though he looked uncomfortable, he was sitting there and listening to those first years and he had to be trying to help them, in some way. Instead of going over like she wanted to, Hermione ducked behind a shelf and began browsing the books. The Slytherins didn't seem to be as comfortable around her and she didn't want to ruin anything. It was maybe another ten minutes of looking at the spines of books before someone spoke to her. "You know I saw you walk in here, don't you?"

"I didn't, actually," Hermione said, putting a book back on the shelf and looking at Malfoy. "I didn't want to disturb you by going over and saying hello,"

"It wasn't me you would have disturbed," he muttered.

"What was it they wanted?"

"Nothing important," he said evasively, pulling a book down and studying it. Maybe, Hermione thought, he was still acting as oddly around her as she felt around him because of how weird Potions had been. It wouldn't surprise her. "Something I'll take care of,"

"Something you don't want to talk about then?"

"Not particularly,"

It took a moment for her to nod and loosen her grip on the books she'd been clinging to. "All right then,"

"I thought you were working on homework?"

"Oh, I couldn't focus,"

"You couldn't focus? You're Granger, you're always focused,"

"Well I was thinking, it's not that uncommon," she said defensively.

"Oh I know you think, but usually you can stay focused," He smirked at her, raising an eyebrow. He was definitely in a better mood than she was in that moment. "So what's got you all riled up, Granger?" he asked, taking a few of the books from her arms and holding onto them himself.

"I can hold those myself," she snapped, surprised by the gesture. Hermione reached out to take the books back and he went a light shade of pink that almost made her want to smirk back at him. "And it's none of your business,"

"Right," he said, nodding slowly and handing the books back to her. "They just looked like they were heavy, I don't know why I grabbed them,"

Hermione shrugged slightly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you," she said simply. "I'm going to check these out and take them back to the common room,"

"And?"

"Are you coming?"

"If you'd like,"

"I would,"

They ended up walking each other to dinner as well, though as soon as they got to the great hall he paused by the door. "I'll see you after," he said simply, giving her a small nod. Hermione sighed quietly; she couldn't wait for the day when they could walk somewhere together and have him not care. It would be lovely, as sometimes he pushed her away and Hermione felt as if he were embarrassed by their friendship. She knew it was probably something else, though she didn't want to upset him so she didn't ask.

Dinner wasn't amazing, as the amount of couples trying not to get caught kissing was making things irritating. Or maybe it was just her, Hermione couldn't really tell. She'd been irritated most of the day though for the life of her she couldn't understand what was frustrating her. It had to just be a bad day; she'd had plenty of those in the past and they'd all been similar. Every now and then she would glance at Draco, who was focusing on his meal. The first years were once again sitting around him which Hermione found to be sweet, though he looked like he really wanted out of the great hall. She couldn't blame him; she wanted nothing more than to leave as well. She would miss him that night, at two in the morning when she began to feel lonely. On the days he was with her she felt happy, almost, even though she'd always just been through something rotten. He didn't glance at her though, or at least Hermione wasn't looking if he did.

Once she was finished with her meal, Hermione pushed her plate away and walked back to the common room. She spent the next two hours finishing her essay by herself, as no one else had come in and she didn't have anything better to do. Hannah and Terry were probably off with other people, enjoying the holiday. Hermione had no idea where Malfoy would be, but it probably had something to do with the first years who'd approached him. As for her, she finished her essay after finally being able to focus. After that she'd, of course, gone to bed. Hermione was exhausted and she wanted nothing more than to get more than three hours of sleep, though she doubted that would happen.

It was ten thirty before she fell asleep, and she'd been able to hear people enter the common room so she knew that the other three were back. Of course that didn't matter much, as she didn't plan on interacting with any of them. Hermione had fallen asleep to the sounds of Hannah and Terry's quiet words, and the sound of their murmuring found its way into her dream. It wasn't that bad, at first, it started off as just being at Hogwarts. And Hermione didn't mind that, she was just walking around and cringing at the memories that flew across her mind. The further away she got from the common room the quieter the sounds of conversation got. Though as the conversation died away, Hermione began to hear whimpering and a few muffled screams. She took off running then, wanting to find the source of the noise and make sure everything was okay. She had to, panic was swelling in her chest and she had to make sure everything was okay. The corridors suddenly got cold and Hermione slowed her pace; the whimpering was louder and a door had appeared in front of her, so she was sure that was where the noise was coming from.

She opened the door, and was immediately out of Hogwarts. She recognized the walls of the room she was in, though at the moment she didn't realize where she knew them from. Her attention had immediately been caught by the pale blond hair of the boy on the floor. Hermione knew it was Draco, she recognized him easily, though knowing who it was didn't help her at all. There was blood all around him and he had a glassy look in his eye until he caught sight of her. He reached a shaking hand in her direction, a horrified look in his eyes then. Hermione had been in the process of rushing over to him when he was hit by a green spell, and he went still.

Hermione woke up with a scream dying in her throat, and she looked around the room with wild eyes. She'd never had a dream like that, about him; it was usually something involving the war. Apparently routine didn't matter anymore.

It definitely didn't matter to her; Hermione threw off her blankets and ran out of her room to his door, pounding on it wildly. She had the horrifying thought that it wasn't a nightmare at all, but a way to let her know that something had happened to him. Hermione didn't know what she would do if something happened to him and she didn't know why that thought freaked her out even more. "Malfoy!" she called desperately, continuing her pounding. "Draco please open your door! Please let me in!"

His door was thrown open after a few more seconds and there was a panicked look in his eyes that had to match her own. "Granger what's-"

She threw her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest before she could even think about what she was doing. "You're okay, I know, I-"

"Granger what on earth-"

She began to pull away from him, embarrassment creeping into her mind, but he slowly put his arms around her as well. He seemed nervous about the gesture, and almost like he regretted it, but that didn't stop him. "I-You'll laugh but just..."

Hermione was sure he scowled at that, but she couldn't see his face. She could hear, however, the sounds of Hannah and Terry opening their doors as well. "What's going-" Terry started.

"Hermione is everything all right?"

Draco released her almost immediately, his face going pink, and Hermione nodded. "Yes, of course, I just..."

"As long as everything's all right," Hannah said, pushing Terry back into his room and shutting herself in her own.

Hermione looked at the floor, her embarrassment quickly being replaced by shame. She couldn't believe a nightmare had scared her so badly that she'd gone running to him; she should have kept better control of her emotions and not let herself panic so much. Before she could offer him an apology, he hugged her again. Hermione was shocked to feel his lips press against her forehead before he sighed heavily. "You don't have to explain," he said quietly. "Though I won't pretend to understand what possessed you to come banging on my door at one in the morning, Granger. You should know that everything is okay,"

"I-"

"Granger don't even think about apologizing,"

"But I-"

He only shook his head and released her. "I'll get an essay. Meet you back out here?" Hermione could do nothing but nod.


	38. Chapter 38

Apparently holding Granger's hand had become an incredible distraction to Draco. He was sure it was because her thumb was gently rubbing the back of his hand as they took notices in Arithmancy, but he didn't want to tell her to stop. It only meant that his notes were sloppy and not at all cohesive, but he could deal with that later. It wasn't worth it in his mind; Draco had started to realize that he really liked being in contact with her. She usually made him feel more comfortable if they were just sitting in class or in the common room, though if anything happened between them in front of others he always felt uncomfortable. It wasn't because it was happening with Granger, it was because the people who saw were always judging them and he absolutely despised that.

The door to the Arithmancy class opened slowly and Draco turned around, hearing the sound of at least ten other quills stopping with him. Granger, true to herself, continued taking her notes. There was a rather somber looking Professor McGonagall standing in the door, and her eyes were glued to Granger's back. Draco was sure his stomach sank in that moment, as something bad had to have happened for McGonagall to come in and look like that. "Professor Vector," McGonagall said quietly. "May I speak to Miss Granger for a moment?"

Vector frowned, as she hated losing students in class, but she nodded anyway. "Of course,"

It was only then that Granger looked up from her notes, a worried look on her face. "Professor?"

"Come along, Miss Granger,"

She left her chair without another word, her back straight and her head high. For a few seconds the room was near silent; the only sound was Vector telling them all to get back to work and everyone ignored that. But then there was a loud, heartbroken sounding sob that made Draco's heart begin to pound. It had to have been Granger who made that sound, though he didn't know why she would. There were confused looks from everyone in the room and whispering started up, but all Draco could do was fight the urge to stand up and run out to the corridor. He wanted to make sure that everything was all right and that Granger was fine and he definitely wanted to know why she'd made that noise.

Granger didn't come back to class, and by the time it ended people were running out of the classroom. Draco was sure they were all going to spread rumors about what had happened and why she'd just disappeared. He grabbed her bag from beside the desk, bringing both back to the common room. He knocked on her door, wondering if she'd gone in there instead of back to class, but there was no answer. He would have felt weird about just opening the door and setting things in there, so he set the bag in front of her door, knowing that no one would touch it. He went to his next class then, though he couldn't focus well enough on what was being taught. His mind just kept slipping back to her, which was rather annoying. Draco didn't want to think about her or about the fact that he was worried for her, as he knew that would mean something he didn't want to think about.

She wasn't at dinner that night either. Draco sat at the Slytherin table, food on his plate, but he didn't touch a single bite. Instead he spent the majority of his time staring at the Gryffindor table and ignoring the first years that insisted on sitting by him. The first years just wouldn't stop coming after him; for some reason they kept thinking he needed his company. All he'd done was go up to the kids who'd been hexing them and making it very clear that he expected no more of that behavior. The kids, who'd looked at him like he was scum, seemed afraid enough of his retaliation that there hadn't been any further problems. The first years were fine and they were going to be fine, now all Draco had to deal with was the whispers of _Death Eater_ and the likes in the corridors. And that he could handle; he'd dealt with it enough when he'd gone to Diagon Alley that he could handle it.

Granger was all Boot and Abbott could talk about as they sat in the common room after dinner, which got very annoying very quickly. He didn't want to leave the common room though, because if Granger came in he didn't want to miss her. For all he knew she'd want to talk to him; sometimes she would talk to him if she was upset about something. She usually went to Potter, though Draco knew he couldn't be the least bit upset about that. Potter was her best friend, of course she would go to him if something upset her. It was midnight when they finally went to their rooms, after ignoring him the entire time, and Draco was thankful. He was sure that Granger's name was going to be forever echoing in his mind after listening them talk to each other, which only irritated him.

It was two in the morning before he fell asleep, in a rather uncomfortable position as he was still sitting in his chair. That continued on until Friday, as at that point it had been five days since she'd just disappeared and he wasn't going to accept her being gone anymore.

Friday, as most were running into the great hall for lunch, Draco stood outside the large doors with his arms folded across his chest and a positively savage expression on his face. He was angry, confused, and more than anything he _really_ wanted to know what was going on with Granger. There were two people in Hogwarts that Draco was sure would know, and seeing as one was a professor he thought it best not to go after her. Potter, however, was another story and Draco was sure that he would know. Despite the fact that he'd grown close to Granger over the course of the year, McGonagall would choose to tell Potter about her whereabouts over him any day. Potter was easy enough to corner, in fact he'd just come walking toward the great hall, and before Draco could fully run the consequences of his actions through his head for the hundredth time, he was walking over to Potter and gripping his wand tightly into his hand. He'd get his information one way or another and he wasn't above using magic when he was worried. The fact that he was worried about Granger bothered him every so slightly, as it made certain things seem more real, but he couldn't think about that in the moment.

Potter was a few inches shorter than him, which Draco found helpful from an intimidation standpoint. Of course he didn't intimidate Potter but maybe it would help others back off, as someone was sure to come to his rescue even though he'd be fine. It's not like Draco was going to hurt him or do anything serious, he just wanted to know about Granger. Potter's surprised face barely registered in Draco's mind before he growled out, "Where is she?"

"Where is-Malfoy why the hell are you standing so close to me?"

He blinked, as that definitely wasn't the response he'd expected, and he surprised himself by taking a small step backwards. "Granger, Potter. Where's Granger?"

"Hermione?"

"Because there's another Granger in this school," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

Potter's eyes narrowed slightly at his comment but he didn't reply to it. "I don't know where she is. I was thinking about asking you, actually,"

"Don't lie to me-"

"Why would I lie to you?"

"I know you don't-I mean I-Just-Damn it Potter just tell me where she is!"

"I already told you, Malfoy, I _don't_ know,"

Draco wanted to punch him, very badly, but he knew that wasn't an option. "Potter I swear if you don't tell me what's happened to her-"

"Are you _concerned_?"

"I-What?"

"About Hermione. That's why you're asking me where she is, right?"

"No I'm not bloody concerned about her!" he denied quickly, his eyes widening slightly at how easily Potter had seen through him. Of course he was concerned about her, but he didn't want everyone to know that and they were already starting to attract a crowd. It was Potter's fault, Draco decided silently; he always had a crowd of people following him. "I'm just curious,"

"Curious doesn't make you come after me in front of a bunch of people with your wand in your hand, Malfoy. That's concern,"

"No it's not!"

"If you admit it, I'll tell you what I know,"

Draco scowled immediately, running his options through his mind and trying to figure out which one he wanted to go with. The obvious choice was to turn and walk away so he wouldn't have to admit anything and Draco was leaning heavily toward that option until he remembered that finding out about Granger was the alternative. And as much as he cared about people not finding out exactly how he felt about her, he cared a hell of a lot more about how she was. "I'm concerned about her," he mumbled finally, glaring at Potter with all the hate he could muster.

"Thought so," Potter said, grinning triumphantly. "Must be a lot if you're giving up so easily. I never expected that, really-"

"Just tell me where she is!" he demanded loudly. He could very clearly hear whispers from the people that were watching him, though for once he didn't give a damn about what they were saying. "Potter, I need to know,"

"As I said earlier, Malfoy, I don't know. If you would have listened to me earlier then maybe you could have spent your time asking someone else who actually knows. And when you find out, tell me, yeah?"

To his surprise, he nodded stiffly. "There's a meeting tonight, for us. If she isn't there I'll ask McGonagall. I guess I could tell you tomorrow if you really want to know,"

"Of course I do," Potter said, narrowing his eyes slightly. "I may not have...but she's still my best friend, Malfoy,"

"I know,"

With that Draco turned and walked away, shoving his wand into his robes and going back to the common room instead of to lunch. He was sure there would be plenty of questions as to what had happened from other students and he definitely didn't want to deal with that. The bloody first years he'd helped would be all over him, asking him what was going on with him and Granger. The irritating girl, Elizabeth, would no doubt ask if they were in love because every time she was around love was mentioned at least three times. He didn't know how anyone could stand to be around her for so long and he wasn't quite sure how he managed it himself, but somehow it happened. At least it seemed she'd found decent friends, she'd need those as other people began to realize that she could be irritating.

Somehow he managed to go through the rest of his day without breaking down and running to McGonagall to demand information about Granger, which he was actually slightly proud of. It seemed that even if he couldn't keep his head in most matters involving Granger, he could keep his head in this. He waited impatiently through dinner with the first years around him, chatting easily about their classes from the day and to Draco's relief they didn't mention him cornering Potter. Draco knew that was a topic of conversation in the great hall, as he could hear other people talking about it, but for once the first years were actually doing something that he appreciated. He would have to be slightly nicer to them so they knew he liked them not mentioning Granger to him, which they did every now and then, and hopefully it would stop happening.

By the time the meeting came around Draco was absolutely restless. He couldn't stop his fingers from tapping his knees and he couldn't stop his leg from bouncing. He could tell that his impatience was noticed by everyone else in the room but at least they weren't commenting on it. He was slightly embarrassed by his actions, though not enough to change them. Boot and Abbott both talked about ideas they'd had to get people from different houses to interact more with each other, though Draco didn't focus much on what they were saying. He was too busy thinking about what he would say to McGonagall to get her to actually tell him where his current favorite person was.

Draco frowned a bit at the thought. Was Granger his favorite person? He shook his head slightly; of course she was. She was the only one who didn't fully hate him and he liked that. He liked her. Which was really shitty, because he didn't know how he expected to actually tell her that without her making a big deal out of it.

"Mr. Malfoy? Is there any reason why you're still sitting in my office five minutes after the meeting's ended?"

"I-Five minutes?"

"Yes, five minutes. Mr. Boot and Miss Abbott left a few minutes ago. I thought you'd leave after them but you're still sitting here. I wonder if there's anything you need?"

"Well, I-I mean yes, there is. And I fully expect an answer,"

"I'll do my best, Mr. Malfoy,"

"I want to know where Granger is,"

"That's not any of your business, Mr. Malfoy,"

"I think it is,"

"Miss Granger's personal life isn't something that you need to be aware of at every moment,"

"When she disappears for days at a time I think I do need to be aware. You can't just take her out of the middle of class and let everyone hear that bloody scream and expect me not to want to figure out where she's gone,"

"You're very insistent on the matter, Mr. Malfoy,"

"Well she's-"

"You never would have cared about her disappearance in the past. In fact I believe you would have been overjoyed,"

"Well I'm-"

"If you could explain the change of heart to me, Mr. Malfoy, I may consider telling you what you'd like to know,"

"Why the hell do you stupid Gryffindors keep giving me ultimatums?" he yelled suddenly, his frustration boiling over. He just wanted to know where she was, he didn't want to keep being forced to tell things he didn't want people to know.

McGonagall's mouth formed a thin line, though she seemed rather proud of herself. "You'll find it's an easy way to get what you want,"

"I don't know!"

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know why everything's changing. I don't know, okay? Maybe it's because she was so bloody _nice_ at the beginning of the year and then I couldn't stay away from her and then I started to actually give a damn about what was going on in her life and then I-"

"You what, Mr. Malfoy?"

"You're reminding me a hell of a lot of Dumbledore right now,"

She smiled faintly. "He did teach me many things; perhaps his behavior rubbed off on me and shows through every now and then. Now answer the question,"

But he didn't want to. He really didn't want to, because even the simple conversation with McGonagall was making a few things clearer to him. Things that he'd never wanted to even think about, and it was stupid McGonagall's fault that he was thinking them. "I don't know-I don't know!" he repeated, his heart beginning to race as he started to panic. He couldn't think straight and he jumped out of his chair, walking toward the door.

McGonagall's eyes had gone wide almost immediately and she quickly stood too, looking at him with concern. "Mr. Malfoy-"

"_No_!"

"Mr. Malfoy!"

"I don't _know_, I don't want to know!"

"Mr. Malfoy, please calm down-you don't have to share anything,"

"I-"

Draco was sure that something was wrong, as his hands started shaking and his eyes went wide as he stared at McGonagall. She was approaching him cautiously, her hands outstretched and a concerned expression still on her face. "Miss Granger is returning in the morning, Mr. Malfoy," she said calmly, carefully resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know-"

"Mr. Malfoy how can I help you?"

"I don't know what to do,"

"About what?"

"I can't tell her," he said, his mind stuck on Granger and the things he never wanted to think about.

He didn't remember much else from that point on, as he'd been too busy panicking about what he was going to do about Granger to realize that Madam Pomfrey had appeared in the office and was suddenly fussing over him in a way she'd never done before. McGonagall still looked concerned and she spoke in quiet tones to Madam Pomfrey, who kept insisting that he needed some kind of potion he didn't care enough about to know the name of. Because all he could think of was the now solidified fact in his mind, about the feelings he had for Granger. They weren't feelings that led to hate, which he was thankful for, but they weren't exactly feelings that led to friendship either. And that was the reason for his panic as he stood in McGonagall's office on a Friday night, when he was sure he should have been sitting in the common room waiting for Granger to get back.


	39. Chapter 39

When Hermione returned to Hogwarts on Saturday morning, the first thing she'd done was go to the Gryffindor common room in search of Harry. He would be able to tell her that everything was going to be okay and her life wasn't falling to shreds; of course he would know what she was going through because he'd gone through the same thing. Her father was quite alive, so she hadn't lost everything, but her mother... Well, Harry understood. He held her for a good ten minutes while she'd struggled to get the words out of her mouth. And then, once she'd pushed Harry back to Ginny and insisted that she was going to be okay, Hermione went off in search of Draco Malfoy. During the week she'd spent with her father she'd missed him more than anyone else. That wasn't something she would easily admit to Draco or anyone else, as anything involving emotions seemed to make him uncomfortable and she didn't want things to be awkward between them. Hermione did not get her wish.

She'd been back for just over two weeks and he'd barely said a word to her. At first she'd been confused, and then she'd been sure that he was just mad that she'd gone away for a week without giving him any kind of explanation. After cornering him and asking if that was the case, he'd furiously shouted that he didn't care where she'd been. The only words that he'd said since always had something to do with her leaving him alone. And so, nearly three weeks after learning that her mother was dead, Hermione was still horrified at the fact that she'd been more upset about Malfoy than her mother. Maybe it was because the thought had always been in the back of her mind that her parents were dead so she'd become used to the idea. Maybe it was because Draco had become so important to her that it hurt her just as much as it always had when Harry and Ron had ignored her. Hermione wasn't entirely sure if either explanation could fully explain her feelings; she was fairly certain it was a combination of both. And maybe, she thought, it was something else as well.

Hermione, however, was just as stubborn as it seemed that Draco was. Because once he'd started to ignore her, she'd given him nothing but stony silence. Every _leave me alone_ had come in the first few days after she'd been back, when she'd still been trying to talk to him. It was definitely hard to sit next to him in class and not hold his hand or glance at him, but Hermione thought she was managing quite well considering. But the hardest part definitely had to be waking up at night and sitting in the common room by herself, knowing that he was going to stay in her room and avoid her. And the worst part about that had to be that when she did see him in class she could tell that he hadn't been sleeping any more than he had when he had been coming out to meet her. She was sure that meant he was still waking up every other night but he was just trying to stay away from her. That hurt too.

Harry, on the other hand, seemed to be paying her more attention to her than he had all year. It was probably because she'd told him what had happened, and it was obvious that he was the only one she'd told, though she wasn't going to complain. He was the only one who understood what she felt and Hermione needed someone to understand that part of her life. The more she thought about it and the angrier she got, the more certain she was that Draco wouldn't have even tried to understand what she was feeling. He probably wouldn't have cared. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to think badly about him as that would make her feel worse about what was going on, though the bitter thought slipped into her mind multiple times as she sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. She didn't know how to stop the thoughts though, as they made it easier not to talk to him. But she definitely missed him.

"I was thinking that maybe you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with us next weekend?" Harry said, looking in Hermione's direction and frowning slightly.

"What?" Hermione asked, looking at him and frowning as well. She hadn't really been listening to a word he'd said; her eyes had been directed at the ceiling and her mind was on Draco, once again. "Sorry, I wasn't-"

"I know," he shrugged. "Are you thinking about-"

"Harry," she said warningly, watching the way Ginny and Neville were watching them. Hermione wasn't ready for everyone to know what had happened, as she didn't want to see the way they'd look at her. Harry was different; Harry knew exactly what it was like and he wouldn't look at her any differently. "And no, not really,"

He nodded slightly, frowning again. Hermione felt guilty about making him frown so much, but that only added a small bit to the huge amount of guilt that was currently occupying the space around her heart. Because the one thing that she would never tell Harry was that it was her fault; it had to be her fault. If she'd just hidden her parents away instead of wiping their memories then the car accident that had killed her mother never would have happened and her father wouldn't have looked so broken and lonely when she'd first seen him. Everything that had happened to them was her fault and Hermione knew that; the guilt it caused was beginning to get overwhelming. "-so anyway, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with Ginny, Neville, Luna, Ron, and I next weekend?"

She'd missed half of what he said but that wasn't why Hermione had hesitated at the question. "Harry I'm not sure if that's the best idea,"

"We'll make sure Ron doesn't do anything stupid. It's weird not having you with us, Hermione, and if you're not hanging out with Malfoy any more then I thought you'd like to come with us,"

"I guess that would be okay," she said slowly, nodding. "It sounds fun, Harry," she continued, noticing the frown beginning to appear on his face.

"It'll help you too, I think," he said quietly, leaning over so he was whispering in her ear. It was about the only way to make sure no one overheard without actually pulling out a wand and casting a spell, and Hermione wasn't sure Harry even had his wand with him. Hermione didn't; hers was upstairs in the common room.

She offered him a weak smile and turned back to her meal, picking at the food on her plate for another fifteen minutes before her friends decided they were going back to the Gryffindor common room. She walked with them part of the way but left as soon as they got to the floor her common room was on. Her friends waved goodbye and Harry gave her a sad look, but Hermione gave him another smile it return. She doubted, every now and then, that she'd made the right choice in telling Harry. He seemed more suspicious of how she was acting as of late and Hermione was sure he'd start to notice how tired she was looking because he was paying more attention. The only person Hermione had wanted to know about that was Draco, and it wasn't like he was going to talk to anyone about her any time soon. Harry might tell someone else and Hermione wasn't ready for all of her friends to know.

She got about halfway to her common room before she turned and decided to walk to the library. Hermione had no desire to sit in the common room with Terry and Hannah and watch Malfoy storm past them and into his room, throwing a glare in her direction. If she stayed in the library up until ten, when she had to be back in the common room, Hermione was sure she could avoid the looks from Draco. They hurt almost as much as his silence did.

Hermione pulled a book off one of the shelves, not really paying attention to what she was picking up, and settled into a chair. She kept a close eye on her watch even though she'd only been sitting a few minutes, as she didn't want to get detention for being out of bed. Hermione hated getting detention and if she had her way it would never happen again. It had happened enough with Harry and Ron, though she hadn't had it as much as they had and Hermione had always been thankful for that.

She sighed heavily, wishing that she could stop thinking about Harry and Ron and just get back to her book. Though if she was thinking of Harry and Ron then she wasn't thinking of Draco and that was a good thing. She shouldn't be thinking of him so often anyway, especially if they were no longer speaking. That would just hurt more in the end and Hermione definitely couldn't handle any more hurt. "Granger?"

Hermione almost jumped; she'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed anyone walk up to her. She'd almost been sure that it was Draco who'd come up to her as he was the only person she knew who called her Granger, but after a moment she realized that the voice wasn't even male. Hermione instantly recognized her as one of the first years who'd been hanging around Draco, which she still thought was nice. He hadn't pushed them away after something had set him off like he'd done to her, and Hermione was thankful of that. Maybe none of the five Slytherins noticed it, but they needed each other. At least Hermione thought they did. "Hello, Elizabeth," Hermione said, hoping that she at least got the girl's name right. "Is there anything you need?"

"I-I thought it would be a good idea to talk to you,"

"Has something else happened?"

"What?"

"To you and your friends; has something-"

"No, we're fine. Malfoy made sure of that,"

"Then what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, he's the problem," she said slowly, frowning and biting her lip. "He'd be mad if he found out I was talking to you. Then again, once he figures out it was us who stole the letter he'll be even angrier,"

"You stole one of his letters?"

"One he was writing, yes," Elizabeth said as if it wasn't an invasion of his privacy. "He's been moody lately, and we were, well, we were curious about what was going on with him," she explained, eventually sitting across from Hermione. "He left the Slytherin table to go to class and he forgot it; we took it and read it,"

"I think that you should find a way to give the letter back," she began, prepared to launch into a lengthy explanation as to why she needed to give Draco back his letter. It wasn't right to steal things and they never should have read it anyway. Hermione didn't know what he would put in a letter, but if it was important enough to make him actually write it down then it was probably something he wanted to keep private.

"No, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," she said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest. "It's about what was in the letter,"

"I don't feel right listening to that without him telling me himself,"

"Yeah, well, he's not really going to do that now is he? You two haven't talked in weeks,"

Hermione frowned and narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. "If it was important he would tell me,"

"Well it is important and he hasn't. And I can tell you why," Hermione opened her mouth, prepared to tell the first year that she didn't want to know, but she was cut off before she could even speak. "It's about you. Do I have your attention now?"

She couldn't even respond to the girl; she didn't want to listen to Draco's secrets, though she got the feeling that she would be forced to hear them if she didn't stand up and walk away. After a silent debate with herself Hermione pushed her chair out and stood. "I'm sorry but I can't-I won't listen to things about him that he doesn't want me to know,"

"No-" Elizabeth lunged across the table and grabbed her wrist, a hesitant look to her eyes. "Please, just hear me out. It's for him, I swear,"

Hermione eyed the girl warily before sitting back down. If it really was to help him then Hermione wanted to hear it; if it wasn't she could very easily stand up and walk away. "Okay,"

Elizabeth smiled slightly, though it quickly disappeared. "You make him happy," she said, obviously wanting to get straight to the point. "And then two weeks ago, you two just stopped speaking. I blamed you at first because he was so annoyingly angry and I thought you must have done something. I realize now that I was... wrong," she scowled at the word, something Hermione was sure she often did as well.

"He gets angry a lot," Hermione stated, shrugging slightly. "Why is this time any different?"

"That was my thought. You know, I've read a lot of love stories-"

Hermione's mouth fell open and a strangled sound came from her throat. "Love? Why are you-"

"I'm getting there, Granger. And don't looked so shocked; it's really obvious that you feel something for him,"

"But not-"

"Anyway," she said sharply, "that's where most of my explanation stems from. But it makes sense and when you add in that letter he was writing..." she trailed off and sighed heavily. "My friends and I realized that he was mad at you, which isn't that unusual,"

"I know he's mad at me, I just don't know what for,"

"Granger if you'd just let me talk instead of adding something in every few seconds then I'd already have told you my theory," she said angrily, reminding Hermione an awful lot of Draco. He'd said something similar to her after Christmas, and Hermione couldn't help but frown at the memory. Maybe she did cut people off often; she'd never really thought about it. "So, as I said we figured out he's mad at you. My friends didn't get that at first but they're all boys so I expected that. They're not the best with emotions. But we couldn't figure out _why_. And we always want an explanation. He'd been writing letters like mad for days before we took the one he'd left before and we'd caught glances, though we couldn't see everything. We did see your name though," She paused for a moment, frowning "The letter we took was obviously a reply to someone, I don't remember who it was to, but he was talking about how he couldn't possibly have..."

She stopped again and Hermione had to prevent an angry sigh from escaping her lips. Elizabeth had quite easily caught her attention and Hermione just wanted her to finish her story. "Go on,"

"Have feelings for, well, for you,"

"Feelings? He wouldn't-"

"He did, Granger. I think, and remember this is just a theory, I think he realized that he, well, felt something for you and it freaked him out,"

"But he wouldn't-"

"Do you have a better idea as to why he's so mad at you? And everyone?"

"He-Well he said it wasn't true but I'm sure it's just because I left for a week without telling him anything,"

"As someone who was with him for that week, I can assure you he wasn't angry. He was losing his mind yes, but he was worried. I don't know how you did it but he cares about you, and I think it's a lot more than he realized,"

"But-"

"I just wanted to tell you because now _I'm_ worried about _him_. And I don't want that, I'm too busy worrying about my friends. I need you to work things out with him so that he'll go back to normal,"

"I'm not going to force myself on him if he obviously doesn't want it,"

"Granger, you've got to fix things. I haven't known him very long but I know that he's stubborn and he won't do it himself,"

"Look, Elizabeth, I'm sorry you're worrying about him but Draco won't listen to anyone else if he doesn't want to do something. And he doesn't want to talk to me,"

"Then _make_ him listen," she said sternly. "Come on, please? I shouldn't be worried about someone six years older than me, should I? I'm a kid, I shouldn't have to deal with this!"

Hermione bit her lip to stop from pointing out all her, Harry, and Ron had dealt with when they were twelve but she figured Elizabeth wouldn't appreciate that. "I'll... I'll try and talk to him tonight, all right?"

"Took you long enough," Elizabeth muttered, standing up. "I'll have to tell my friends. I lost the game of chess so I had to talk to you. I hope everything works out for you two," She walked away before Hermione could say anything else. It was with a heavy sigh that Hermione stood up, put back the book she'd been reading, and left for the common room. She would keep her word to Elizabeth and try to talk to him, though there was no gaurantee that she would get very far.


	40. Chapter 40

She hadn't been in the common room after dinner. Not that Draco was going to go talk to her, but those few seconds when he was going to his room were the only times Draco allowed himself to look at her. And every night he absolutely hated what he saw. The expression Granger wore when she was sitting on the sofa was a mixture of sorrow and guilt. He knew both expressions very well as he'd seen them on his own face; the thing Draco didn't know was why she looked like that. He often thought about speaking to her in a quiet part of the castle so he could find out what had happened, but that would involve talking to her and Draco wasn't ready to do that. He half hoped that she would get tired of the silence and just be done with him, but Draco doubted Granger would actually do that.

Draco just wasn't coping well with realizing that he felt something for her. He definitely didn't want to believe it and so far he'd done a fairly good job at pretending it wasn't true. Despite, of course, the replies he'd received from Blaise. Blaise had been the only person he'd felt even slightly comfortable writing to, as he was the one who'd seemed to hate Granger the least out of all his friends. Blaise was the one, Draco had been sure, who would tell him what to do. And Draco absolutely despised being told what to do, so for him to go and ask for the advice of someone else had taken a lot out of him. He wouldn't admit that to anyone, just like he wouldn't admit that he had feelings for her.

But if he did, though Draco knew it wasn't true, he would have to say that the feelings were absolutely awful. He saw her, that incredibly lonely expression on her face, and an overwhelming wave of guilt would hit him and he was always forced to look away. On the rare occasions he would see her smile _he_ wanted to smile, and Draco hated that feeling. And the worst one of all was seeing her look sad, as his mind seemed to jump to the conclusion that he needed to do something to make her feel better. The last two were things Draco wouldn't do; he couldn't smile at Granger or interact with her. Doing that would mean being close to her again and Draco wasn't sure he could do that without doing something incredibly ridiculous like hugging her or attempting a rather awful explanation as to what he felt. Which was nothing; he couldn't feel anything for her.

The endless cycle of those thoughts had been going on for the past two weeks and he wasn't sure if he was still sane, because half the time they were all he was thinking. If he wasn't thinking about that then his mind was stuck on what he could write to Blaise to try and convince him otherwise. He was trying to figure out if it was worth it to keep writing back, because it made it seem like he was friends with Blaise again. Draco didn't know if he could do that; he'd convinced himself that he didn't need any friends and he'd already broken that for a short time with Granger and Draco didn't know if he could do it again. Blaise had forced him to try though; he'd found out when the next Hogsmeade visit was and told Draco that he would be waiting in the Three Broomsticks to discuss the matter. Needless to say Draco was absolutely dreading the next visit, his first of the year.

He sat on the floor underneath his window working on homework for a while, having absolutely no interest in going out into the common room. The only reason he would go out there was to see if Granger had come back yet, but that would probably be noticed by her or Boot and Abbott and Draco didn't want that. So he kept sitting on the floor, scribbling on a piece of parchment as he attempted to finish a Charms essay that he hoped would please Flitwick. He was sick of receiving only A's in that class; he wanted an E. Or an O, but Draco highly doubted that would happen. He wasn't- "Draco?"

The sudden knock and his name had startled him so much that he'd knocked over the ink he'd been using. Of course he'd been stupid enough to put the ink in his lap on top of the book he'd been writing on, so it ended up not only drenching his essay but spilling onto his legs as well. "Damn it-Screw you Granger!" he shouted angrily, reaching for his wand to clean up the mess.

"What-"

"Go away," he said angrily, setting his ruined essay to the side and standing up. He got the ink easily off his pants though he wasn't sure he wanted to try that spell on his essay. Draco wasn't sure if it would leave his writing or not and if it did, then it was ruined anyway. "Wasn't great to begin with," he muttered, sighing in defeat. He would have to start over, something he despised, and it seemed to just make him angrier than he already was.

"I'd like to talk to you," Granger said, knocking again.

Draco sighed once more, running his hands over his face and hoping that if he stayed silent she would just go away. After a few seconds Draco was sure that she had actually gone, as there was silence from the other side of the door, but as it was pushed open he realized that he was wrong. "That was locked,"

"Alohomora," she shrugged. "We need to talk,"

"No, we don't," he said, standing up and narrowing his eyes at her. He was rather proud that he'd managed to get the ink off himself, otherwise he would have looked like a fool standing in front of Granger.

"Draco, you stopped speaking to me two weeks ago and I deserve an explanation,"

"Well you're not getting one,"

"Draco stop being unreasonable. We're friends-"

"Not anymore,"

"Not-What are you talking about? Of course we're still friends,"

"No, we're not. I can't do this, whatever this is, anymore. It's not working. I said I would try the whole friend thing and I don't like it anymore. So I'm done,"

"You're-You're _done_?" she asked, her voice raising in pitch significantly. "You can't just be _done_!"

The hurt on her face was quite obvious, so Draco looked away. He couldn't stand that expression when it was caused by him; not anymore. It felt odd to think that he once would have been pleased to see it, as it made him sick now. "I am,"

"I don't accept that, Malfoy," she said angrily. "I won't, no, I _can't_ accept that. That's a shitty excuse and you know it. There's something else and you're trying to distract me from it by saying this, but it's not going to work,"

"Granger you need to get out," he said quietly. He didn't want to raise his voice and argue with her; he would remain level headed, he had to if he wanted her to leave.

"And you need to get over yourself," she retorted quickly. "Look at me,"

"I'm quite fine looking at the wall, actually,"

He heard her heavy, quick footsteps before her hand was on his chin and forcing his face toward her. Draco was so surprised by the action that he tried to take a step back, though the very angry girl in front of him wasn't letting him move much. "If you're going to do this then at least have the damn decency to look me in the eyes,"

"Get your hands off me and maybe I will," Granger dropped her hand and folded her arms across her chest. Draco could see the anger and hurt swirling around in her eyes, though there was guilt there as well and Draco didn't know why that would be there. "I'm-"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me exactly what I've done to make you want to stop being friends," She held his gaze as Draco's mouth opened and closed as he struggled to find words. Any words would do, really, as long as they didn't have to do with his feelings. "I don't have all night,"

It wasn't often that he saw Granger so angry, and Draco was quickly learning that he really didn't like it. He preferred a happy Granger and while he knew his words would upset her, he'd been sure they would make her run out of the room and never want to speak to him again. Not _this_; he hadn't expected this. "I-Well, you-"

"Just as I thought,"

"Granger-"

"Look," she said, her voice softening slightly. "I can understand if you want to stop being friends, I've had that happen multiple times. And I shouldn't have gotten so angry either. But what I can't understand is why. I can't understand what I did to make you suddenly hate me again. I quite liked it when you didn't. I'll stop bothering you, if that's what you want, but I'd like a reason why. Do you think you can give me that?"

"Granger, I don't have to do anything,"

"I know you don't. But please, can't you do this one last thing for me?"

"I-I guess I could create a decent reply,"

"By next week, do you think?" He nodded in response and Granger sighed, stepping away from him. She looked conflicted and her other emotions were clear on her face; she was guilty about something, she was still slightly angry, and she was pained by what was happening. Draco would guess that he was more hurt by it than she was, though he couldn't admit that to her as that would undermine everything that had just happened. And what had just happened was a good thing; if Draco wasn't around her then he was sure his stupid feelings would go away.

"I believe so,"

"By Monday? After Arithmancy maybe?"

"All right," he said, nodding stiffly once more.

Granger sighed in a similar manner to what he'd been doing, and she took another step away from him. "I'll leave you alone until then,"

"That would be best,"

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Granger rushed forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I've lost a lot, Draco," she whispered, sending chills down his spine as he wasn't sure exactly what she was referring to. "It kills me to lose you too. But if it makes you happy..." She released him before he could respond and hurried out of his room, leaving Draco to stare at his closed door in shock. Granger cared about his happiness as much as he cared about hers; that couldn't possibly be a coincidence, could it? After what he'd realized Draco wasn't sure. He sat back down on the floor, running his hands over his face once more before pulling out a clean sheet of parchment. He needed a lists; lists could always make things clearer to him. And if he made a list of reasons as to why he couldn't be around Granger then he would have the perfect speech prepared for her. However the only thing he could bring himself to write down that night was _I could have feelings for you_ and Draco wouldn't be sharing that.

The next week of his life, leading up to the Hogsmeade visit and speaking to Blaise, was spent with that stupid list in front of him as he tried to add more to it. He had a few reasons on it that would only anger her, as they weren't good reasons. But they were still something, and Draco could try hard to make them work. The first years who seemed to love sitting around him kept trying to look at his list, but he would always get them to stay out of his business with a cold glare in their direction.

As he walked to Hogsmeade that Saturday in late March, Draco couldn't help but notice how people looked at him. He didn't know why they would be looking at him either; at the beginning of the year Draco could understand but they'd had enough time to gawk by then. Draco fixed a cold expression on his face and walked into the Three Broomsticks, sitting at a table and waiting for Blaise. He waited for nearly three hours before an owl flew straight to him and placed a letter in front of him. It quickly flew off without waiting for a reply, and Draco took the letter cautiously.

_I've been called into work and I can no longer meet you. Don't forget to try and fix things with Granger and tell her how you obviously feel; I'd like to be right about this._

It wasn't even signed but Draco rolled his eyes and crumpled up the letter anyway. He was sure Blaise just couldn't be troubled to come into Hogsmeade to see him, but Draco was fine with that. He'd been worried about what he was going to say to convince him that he didn't have feelings for Granger even though Draco was starting to believe it himself. Only slightly, as he still didn't understand how they'd come to be and therefore he didn't want to deal with them. Draco stood, placing a few galleons on the table as he'd ordered quite a few butterbeers, before pushing his way through the pub. He wanted to go back to his room and continue trying to figure out what to add to his list of why he didn't want to be around Granger; he only had two more days to finish it and he didn't even have ten items.

There was loud laughter a few seconds before he got to the door and he turned his head to look where it came from. He should have known though, as the only group of people that could laugh that loudly were Potter and his friends. He was a few seconds away from turning his head and walking out the door when he caught sight of Granger. She looked sad, with a small smile on her face that didn't come close to matching her friend's laughter. She was seated next to Weasley, who had his arm thrown around her shoulders. She didn't seem to mind, as she was looking at Longbottom with a bit of interest as well as her small smile.

It had only been a few seconds, but Draco was furious. He could understand Granger being with her friends, as it would be good for her to get closer to them and farther away from him, but _Weasley_ had his arm around her. Weasley, who Draco hated more than anyone else because of the way he'd treated Granger at the beginning of the year, now had his arm around her. Without thinking, Draco walked over to the table. Longbottom stopped talking almost immediately; he had a similar apprehensive expression on his face to the ones Potter and Weasley's sister were wearing. Weasley himself was glaring at Draco with as much hate as he could muster. Granger looked surprised. It was Lovegood who actually seemed happy to see him. "Hello, Draco," she said. He wasn't used to hearing anyone but Granger and his mother say his name, so he turned to look at her in surprise. "Are you having a good day?"

He considered responding to her for a second before looking at Granger with narrowed eyes. "I'd like to have a word,"

"Of course," she said, moving to stand up.

"Hermione you don't have to-" Weasley started.

"Let her go, Ron," Potter instructed. The two shared an angry look before Weasley removed his arm from her shoulders and Granger stood up.

"Come on," she said, leading him out of the Three Broomsticks and down the street. Granger stopped as soon as they were alone and Draco folded his arms across his chest. "What?"

"Why are you with him?"

"With who?"

"With Weasley,"

"He's my friend,"

"Right, because friends treat you the way he did,"

"Well he's treating me better than you have been these past few weeks,"

"I'm not talking about-"

"Draco, can you just get to the point?"

"Excuse me?"

"The point, of why you dragged me away from my friends to talk,"

"You led," he muttered, feeling his cheeks warm. Now that he had her away from Weasley his anger was dying down and he didn't know what he was supposed to say to her.

"Draco, can you just explain to me what's going on? I'd like to get back to my friends,"

"I-" He was at a loss. _Don't forget to try and fix things with Granger and tell her how you obviously feel_ ran through his mind and Draco fought the urge to swear. "I have my reason?" he offered, feeling like he needed a good curse to get him to shut up.

"Oh," Granger said, surprised. "All right then. I guess... Well, I can't say I had hoped you'd actually find one but... Go ahead,"

"I-" _Shit_ echoed around his head and Draco wasn't sure what he was going to say. It had to be something that would leave her silent so he could run off and avoid her for the rest of his miserable life. "I-" Before Draco could think he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers gently before pulling away a second later. "I can't be around you," he reasoned, unable to bring his eyes to meet the shock on Granger's face. "Because then what I feel won't stop and I _need_ it to stop," A second later Draco turned and ran, the consequences of his action immediately filling his mind. Everything was going to be ruined.


	41. Chapter 41

Hermione stayed rooted to her spot for a good ten minutes before she heard her name being called by a familiar voice. Nothing felt very familiar though, as she'd just been kissed by Draco Malfoy. Not once in her life had she ever imagined being kissed by him but it had happened. And he hadn't even let her say a word; he'd stared at his feet, given her a small explanation, and then run off to leave her more confused than she'd even been in her entire life. What if Elizabeth had been right? Hermione hadn't thought much of her words, other than worrying about him, because she'd just assumed the young girl was being silly. But then he'd gone and kissed her and told her that he had growing feelings when he was around her and now... Now, Hermione had to figure out what she was going to do. And that was another thing she wasn't prepared for.

"Hermione!" She dimly became aware of the hand that was waving in front of her face. Hermione blinked and slowly shut her mouth, which had been hanging open, her eyes focusing on Ginny who was standing in front of her. "Hermione, are you okay? Did that stupid-"

"I'm fine," she said immediately, her eyes narrowing slightly at the start of the insult she'd been about to throw at Draco. The fact that insulting Draco made her uncomfortable caused her stomach to churn and she felt like she was going to be sick. What if she did have feelings for him and she hadn't noticed it? Hermione didn't know; she wasn't sure she could ever know. It was absolutely awful timing for her; Hermione had been preparing herself to lose him so she'd tried to keep from thinking about him. It was almost like she was making up for the lost week as she could barely even form a coherent thought if it wasn't about him.

"Well what happened? Why do you look so-"

"Ginny I've got to go," she said quickly. Hermione quickly made up her mind after Ginny started talking. She had to go find him and they had to figure out what they were going to do. Hermione would decide on the way to Hogwarts whether or not she'd actually liked the kiss. As brief as it was, Hermione could tell that it was different from when Ron had kissed her. There was no way for her to know if that was a good thing or a bad thing yet; only time would be able to tell.

"Go? Hermione, what-"

"Tell the boys and Luna I'll see them later!" she said, pushing past Ginny and running in the direction of the castle.

Hermione's mind seemed to clear as she ran toward the castle. She was able to decide that, despite her emotions being all over the place, she was furious with Draco for running off but she had, in fact, found that she'd enjoyed the kiss. What she didn't know was how to explain that to Draco when he'd stated that he wanted his feelings to stop. Hermione was beginning to think that she wanted them to continue, though that was an odd thought.

It didn't take a huge amount of time to get back to the castle, but she did have to slow down once she got inside the doors. Hermione didn't want to get in trouble for running and knocking someone over and while she knew she could always get out of it, she didn't want to do that either. She hurried to the common room despite going slower than she would have liked and walked in only to find it empty. Hermione knew she should have expected that though, as she'd seen Terry and Hannah in Hogsmeade so they would be gone. And it wasn't like Draco to just sit and wait for her in the common room after something like that, he would be hiding out in his room. So of course that was the door Hermione had hurried to and started knocking on. "Draco!" she called, feeling irritated because he wasn't even responding. Usually he would yell at her to go away and tell her that he had no interest in speaking with her, but there was nothing but stony silence. "Draco-Oh this is ridiculous," she muttered, twisting the doorknob. For once it was actually open and Hermione stared at the door in surprise before taking a step in. The room was completely empty.

A frustrated noise escaped her lips and she shut the door carefully behind her before walking back out into the corridors. Hermione would spend the rest of the day looking for him if she had to; she wanted to know what would happen after that kiss. And she had to try and convince him not to just let what he was feeling be pushed aside by what he'd been taught in the past. Or whatever reason was making him want to stop feeling things for her. That was a weird thought as well; Draco Malfoy had feelings for her. Hermione never thought that would happen either.

She spent the next hour wandering through the corridors, wondering where on earth Draco would have gone. She'd already checked the Room of Requirement and he wasn't there, nor was he in the library, kitchen, or great hall. The entire time she looked for him her irritation grew, as she wanted to find him and talk. Apparently he was excellent at avoiding her though, because Hermione didn't know where else he would be. She knew that she should just stop looking and leave things be for the rest of the night so they could talk without a bunch of emotions getting in the way. That would be the only way to ensure they reach a decision that makes sense, but even over an hour after the kiss she didn't care that much about things making sense. She just wanted to get to him so they could talk.

"You seem a little lost, Miss Granger,"

The voice startled her; she'd been in the process of walking toward the greenhouses to see if he would have gone outside, though she doubted he would. Draco Malfoy didn't seem like the kind of person to go outside when he was upset, though Hermione had looked everywhere else she could think of. "Professor Sprout," she said, offering the Herbology professor a small smile. "No, I'm just-I'm just out for a stroll,"

"Looking for Mr. Malfoy?" Sprout offered, giving Hermione a knowing smile.

Why Hermione would know that was beyond her, but the smile she was getting was a little unsettling. Hermione hadn't done anything to suggest that she was looking for him and yet she'd known? "How do you-"

"You two have a rather peculiar relationship. I think many of us have noticed it. I've also noticed the two of you holding hands under the table during class. It's quite entertaining,"

"Professor I-"

"He passed by about an hour ago, Miss Granger. I expect you'll find him out here somewhere,"

With that her Herbology professor walked away, a small smile on her face that reminded her of something Dumbledore would have done. Hermione walked away, shaking her head slightly as her face began to warm. She hadn't thought that anyone had noticed, and now that she knew Professor Sprout had she couldn't help but wonder if any of the other professors would have paid attention. That could explain the knowing smiles that she was getting from Slughorn, especially since Valentine's day. That was definitely one thing she wouldn't be telling Draco; he would never touch her again if he found out that someone knew about them holding hands. Granted there was no guarantee that he would hold her hand again anyway, but Hermione could at least hope in the moment.

She wandered the grounds and sighed heavily, occasionally looking up at the sky and watching the clouds as she wandered around outside the castle. Even if Professor Sprout had seen Draco there was no way to know if he was still outside. And even if he was then the grounds of Hogwarts were huge and it was possible she wouldn't even find him. Hermione didn't know what she would do if she couldn't find him, though she was half sure she would go crazy.

Hermione was a few moments away from giving up and allowing her mind to slip away when she fell flat on her face. She'd been looking at the sky when she'd fallen and even when she sat up she couldn't make out the definite form that had tripped her. "What in the-" she began.

"I really thought you wouldn't find me here,"

Hermione squinted slightly before Draco came into view. "Disillusionment charm?" she guessed, beginning to feel flustered at his presence. As much as she'd wanted to see him only moments ago Hermione was starting to become sure that she wanted nothing more than to run from him. Which, she imagined, was how he felt after he'd kissed her.

He nodded slightly to answer her before he pulled his knees to his chest and closed his eyes. Hermione had never seen him look very vulnerable before, but she had to guess that this was it. "Granger you can go. I won't apologize or anything, you should know that by now, but-"

"Did I ever say I wanted you to apologize?"

The question stunned them both into silence for a good ten minutes. Draco kept his eyes closed and he was breathing shakily, though Hermione wasn't far behind him. She was alternating between glancing at him and looking back at the sky, as if that would keep her calm. Hermione was sure her hands were going to start shaking as well but she was managing to keep it under control for the time being. "Why wouldn't you?"

The sudden question surprised her as well, so she shrugged and gave herself a few seconds before replying. "Honestly, Draco, I haven't completely figured that out yet,"

"You understand why I can't allow anything to happen, right?"

"No," she replied truthfully, frowning at him. "Would you tell me though? The real reason, not whatever you've made up,"

He looked conflicted and sad, which made Hermione feel worse for seeking him out. "It just wouldn't work. You understand, don't you?"

"No," she said again, her frown deepening. "Just explain it to me. I won't judge you,"

There was silence for another few minutes and Hermione found it rather comforting. At least if there was silence then they weren't arguing, and she greatly appreciated that. "If I explain it, Granger, you'll just get mad at me. I'd like to leave off on good terms,"

"Draco just try, won't you?"

"I can't feel like this because... No one would accept it, to start off," he said quietly, scowling at the ground, his eyes opening slowly. "And you'd be treated horribly, being with me because I'm a Death Eater. To start. And we're just... we're too different, Granger. It wouldn't work,"

"How are we too different? It seems like we're quite alike,"

"You know what I mean, Granger,"

"The fact that you're pureblood? And I'm muggleborn?"

He glared at her and shook his head slightly. "No, that's not what I'm trying to say. And that's another thing that would make everything fail; you never understand what I'm trying to say,"

"I think I do, sometimes," she shrugged. "What makes us so different?"

"A lot of things. Your hero status, the fact that I'm not one. Houses, too,"

"So far you're not saying anything that we can't get past,"

"But-"

"Draco I don't care about any of that. I... I don't know, maybe I want to do this again,"

"Do what again?"

"Do... What you did in Hogsmeade,"

His face warmed rather quickly. "Granger that's not a good idea. Like I said, we can't keep being friends. And that, well, that's out of the question too,"

Hermione sighed and nodded. "If that's what you want," she said, standing. "Look, Draco I came out here to talk to you because I wanted to work something out. Maybe figure out what I feel too. But I can see that's not what you want and I won't push you. Okay?"

"Granger-"

"I mean, I thought we could maybe keep whatever's going on between us quiet, because no one else needs to know. It wouldn't be any of their business. But if you want me to leave I'll go,"

"I-"

"I guess I'll see you at dinner, Draco," she said quietly, walking away without looking back. Draco didn't call her back either, though Hermione hadn't expected him to.

By the time dinner came about, Hermione was absolutely horrified by what had happened with Draco. The kiss she could live with, but all but begging him to take her? It was pathetic and Hermione despised that feeling. She would have to stop getting like that around him if things could even return slightly normal for them. Not that he wanted anything to go back to what normal had become that year; Hermione would be lucky if he didn't start calling her names again. Though she didn't think he really wanted to do that, even if he didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

"Where the hell did you go?" Harry whispered fiercely, pulling her into the seat next to him as she passed him in the great hall. "We were worried about you!"

"Ginny knew I was leaving," she said defensively, glancing at the girl across form her.

"No, Hermione, what I knew was that your expression worried me and when I found you, you were completely frozen in place,"

"I wasn't frozen in place, I was just-"

"What did Malfoy do to you?" Ron asked angrily. He was seated next to Ginny and he kept glancing over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. Draco wasn't even there yet so it didn't make much sense for him to keep looking over then. Hermione could tell that some of the Slytherins had noticed and were getting suspicious as well.

"He didn't do anything,"

"Don't lie to me, Hermione," Ron said.

"Don't accuse me of things, Ronald," she replied, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at him. They'd gotten along at the Three Broomsticks but now he just seemed like he was mad at her. Hermione wasn't even entirely sure what she'd done wrong and that fact alone reminded her a little too much of the start of the school year. "Even if something happened with him," she said, addressing all of her friends, "it's none of your business,"

"Hermione, we were just worried about you. It's not often you just disappear on us," Neville reasoned, offering her a small smile. "I, personally, don't care about what happened with you and Malfoy as long as you're okay,"

"Well, I'm fine,"

"Then let's change topics," Neville said. "Harry, Ron, Ginny, how's quidditch coming?"

Hermione turned out the conversation as she ate her food, wondering how awkward it would be to sit by Draco in Arithmancy during class. That had, by far, been her favorite class to hold his hand in and now they would go back to sitting next to each other awkwardly and not speaking. It wouldn't be pleasant, but Hermione had adjusted well when she'd stopped speaking to Harry and Ron so she was sure she could handle it again. "You look really tired," Harry whispered, dropping out of the conversation for a moment to lean over and whisper in her ear. "And you're not eating anything anyway; maybe you should go get some rest? And I'm sorry about snapping at you earlier,"

"It's fine," Hermione shrugged. "I think I'll do that though. Good night, Harry," she whispered, standing up from the table. Hermione glanced at the Slytherin table to find Draco, once again, surrounded by the first years who'd grown close to him. He seemed to know that she was looking because he looked up as well, his expression conflicted, and nodded slightly. Hermione returned the gesture before hurrying out of the great hall and up to her room.

She fell asleep almost immediately after she laid down in bed, her night no different than it had been for the past year. Hermione was getting incredibly sick of the nightmares and waking up when it was still dark, but she didn't know how to fix it. Besides, the potions wouldn't work on her and as far as she knew there was no other method. With a sigh Hermione ran her hands over her face and climbed out of bed, yawning loudly as she walked toward the door and opened it.

Hermione was greeted with the sight of Draco pacing around the common room, his hair a mess; he'd probably run a hand through it one too many times and it was no longer slicked back. She would have to say that she did like it when it was slightly messy though; it made him seem more human than he usually did. "What are you doing awake?"

Draco turned to look at her rather quickly, scowling as he caught sight of her. "A secret, Granger. Can we actually keep it a secret?"

"What are you-"

"Doing what... Doing what we did in Hogsmeade. I don't want to stop, I-It was-"

Hermione hesitated before nodding. "I'm rather good at keeping secrets," she said, folding her arms across her chest and watching him with curious eyes. "What made you change your mind?"

"You wanted to put me first. No one's ever really wanted to do that before. Other than me, I mean,"

Hermione chuckled slightly and offered him a small smile. "I want you to be happy Draco. And I want you to do something that will make you happy, not because I made you-"

"You aren't making me do anything, Granger,"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," he said. "And you want to...?"

"I think I do,"

Draco nodded and came a step closer to her. "I don't... It'll take some time to get used to, on my part,"

"It'll take some getting used to on my part too, Draco. It's not exactly something I ever expected to happen,"

He looked apprehensive for a moment before he closed the distance between them and kissed her gently one more time. Hermione couldn't help but smile as he pulled away from her, his cheeks a bright pink color. She definitely liked kissing him, she decided, just as much as she liked holding his hand. And it was very different from kissing Ron because things always felt hurried and slightly rushed whenever she'd kissed him. It felt easier, with Draco, for some reason. It was something she could get used to, that easy feeling, though Hermione was sure it would be a while before it came again. Draco wasn't the kind of person to just go around and start kissing people; that day had to be the exception. Hermione was rather glad that exception had happened.


	42. Chapter 42

Granger was making it far easier than Draco had expected her to. He'd expected, after kissing her the second time, for her to turn into a high maintenance girl and she was anything but. She was being patient and kind and the same Granger he'd come to care for. Granger hadn't even brought up giving whatever they had a name; he'd been begged to give names to relationships before and Draco absolutely despised it when that happened to him. But Granger was willing to keep things normal, though Draco was half sure that was because she was just about as nervous about the entire thing as he was. They'd been enemies before the school year and now they were secretly doing things that enemies definitely shouldn't be doing. Things that Draco was starting to enjoy and often found himself thinking about if he was bored and didn't feel like doing anything else. He didn't kiss Granger often and she didn't usually kiss him either, but Draco found that those were some of his favorite moments to think about. Everything felt natural then, if he could keep his mind away from the thought that the action should never have happened.

Draco shook his head slightly, trying to clear it as he sat in the great hall for lunch. He'd barely focused in Potions, as that class had been spent wondering why Granger hadn't just explained the news about her parents earlier. She'd known for weeks before she'd told him and the words definitely would have made Draco stop being so stubborn and talk to her again. He wanted her to be happy and the fact that her mother was dead had to be what had started affecting her so badly after she'd gotten back. If she would have told him he would have done anything to try and make sure she was all right, as that was what he wanted. He just wanted Granger to be all right.

He'd only found out that morning, and that was nearly a month and a half after she'd left unexpectedly. Draco doubted she wanted to mention the development to him because she'd left the matter alone for so long and she'd been reluctant to explain what had made her stumble out of her room, gasping and crying, as she tried to make it to the bathroom. They'd started coming back out to the common room at night and Draco had been out before her, and her actions had worried him. He'd followed her into the bathroom, feeling incredibly awkward as he'd done so, only to find her sinking to the floor and attempting to dry her eyes. Granger didn't cry often; he'd known something was seriously wrong with her to make that happen. Draco had listened with a neutral expression on his face, as normal, as she'd slowly explained why she'd been gone and the new nightmares she'd been having. In reality he was horrified, as Granger didn't deserve that kind of news, but there wasn't much else he could do besides pat her back gently and attempt to make her feel better with a few quiet words of reassurance.

An angry sigh escaped his lips as the scene replayed through his mind. He was slowly becoming okay with thinking about Granger and what was going on with her, but constantly thinking about her and not being able to drag his mind away for more than five minutes was becoming more and more irritating.

At that thought, he glanced over at the Gryffindor table, trying to spot Granger. She was sitting with her friends, something Draco expected as they were once again growing closer, and there was a small smile on her face. He was slightly pleased to see her happy, but from far across the hall he couldn't tell if the smile reached her eyes. That's when Granger's smile was best; he'd started seeing it once they'd become friends and it had always been very enjoyable.

His head was finally pulled away from his thoughts of Granger when he heard laughing a few seats away from him. Normally he wouldn't think anything of it, Slytherins could laugh, but Draco was sure he'd felt someone's gaze on him seconds ago, when he'd been looking toward Granger. Draco looked at the younger students with narrowed eyes, and caught the eye of a fifth year who only started laughing harder. "Insufferable brats," he muttered, shoving his plate away from him and standing up from the table. He hadn't noticed people laughing at him in a while but he was already annoyed with his thoughts of Granger and the laughing was going to send him over the edge.

He was very prepared to leave the hall and had started walking toward the door when a scream filled his ears. Draco immediately looked to Granger, worried she'd started seeing portions of the battle at random times again, but she caught his gaze and gave him a worried look. The teachers were standing up, looking around in confusion. Before Draco could think of anything else, he ran out of the great hall, well aware that the other delegates, McGonagall, and Potter were behind him.

It wasn't the first years, as Draco had originally thought, because he hadn't seen them that day. Instead there seemed to be a fight between a few Hufflepuff third years, who were screaming about something Draco definitely didn't care enough about. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, watching Granger and Boot walk over to the girls to try and calm them down. McGonagall, who was only just getting to the entrance hall, looked absolutely furious and went over to yell at the girls. "You ran out very fast," Potter said, coming up beside him.

"Your point?"

"I'm just curious, Malfoy,"

"And you have no right to be, Potter," he snapped; being questioned was starting to irritate him. And Draco really didn't want to admit that he'd been worried about the first years.

"I told you all I knew when Hermione was gone,"

"Which was next to nothing, Potter, so leave me the hell alone,"

"I just-"

"I absolutely _hate_ it when people get into petty fights," Granger sighed, cutting Potter off as she walked over to stand next to Draco. He was surprised that she hadn't stood by Potter, as he was sure she liked him more than she liked Draco. "And honestly, why they felt the need to scream is beyond me; don't they realize how much that could worry everyone else? If they're hurt, I get it, but over a borrowed shirt? That's ridiculous," Draco stared at her and Potter had his eyebrows raised. Granger was speaking as comfortably as if they were all friends; perhaps she'd missed the tension in the air but Draco knew that she almost always picked up on things like that. "Why are you both looking at me like that? Stop it,"

"Granger you're-"

"Hermione it's really-"

"You two are capable of getting along, aren't you? It's really not that hard,"

"He's the one who was snapping at me," Potter said defensively.

"I snap at everyone, Potter,"

Granger grinned slightly and pulled on Potter's arm. "Come on, Harry," she said, seeming to be in a better mood than she'd been in a while. "We've got Transfiguration. Will I see you in Arithmancy, Draco?"

"I don't plan on skipping the class," he answered, rolling his eyes.

She nodded slightly before dragging Potter up the stairs and out of sight. Draco sighed heavily, glanced at the girls who were being yelled at, and made his way back to the Charms room. He liked Charms well enough, but the class was one of his least favorites because Flitwick so obviously hated him. After nearly an entire school year of that behavior, Draco was convinced that the class wouldn't be any different.

Which would be why he was so shocked when he was wrong. Draco had entered the class early, as per usual, though unlike any other day Flitwick was actually there. Usually the small professor would come in the moment class started, but he was sitting at his desk. Draco hadn't been paying too much attention when he'd walked in, so upon hearing Flitwick clear his throat he'd immediately turned back around to walk out of the classroom. He would much rather sit outside the door for the next fifteen minutes than sit under Flitwick's disapproving gaze. "Not so fast, Mr. Malfoy,"

Draco hesitated; he was only a few steps away from the door and if he acted like he hadn't heard him... But no; he couldn't run from anything. "Is there something you need?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice that he hoped would make Flitwick thing twice about what he said. "Professor," he added.

"There is, actually," Flitwick squeaked, offering Draco a grim smile. "You realize you're quite... talented with Charms, do you not?" Draco simply nodded, wondering if he would get snapped at if he spoke up. "I simply wanted to inform you that... I am rather proud of your progress, Mr. Malfoy. It seems I have not done well to keep any-"

"You're not the only one, Professor," he said quietly, glancing up to see a sad expression on the small man's face. "I... appreciate the words," he said awkwardly. "Though they aren't necessary,"

"I would have let any other student know a while ago. I apologize for not saying so sooner,"

Draco nodded and sat at his seat, pulling out his textbook. He felt a little bit better about staying in the room, though he didn't know why Flitwick had suddenly decided to stop hating him. For the first time that year, Draco actually enjoyed his Charms class; Flitwick didn't ignore him or glare at him which was an amazing improvement that seemed to have taken place over night.

He was in a considerably better mood for the rest of his day, which Granger noticed when they got to Arithmancy. The first year Slytherins noticed it as well when they joined him in the library that afternoon. It seemed as if nothing would ruin it either, because the rest of his day was spent in a good mood. He didn't even mind that he was thinking about Granger, because she'd smiled at him in Potions that morning and that had only added to his day.

By the time dinner rolled around that night, Draco was sure something was wrong. He hadn't felt like he was free of everything in a long time and he wasn't sure he was supposed to feel like that. The realization made him worry that something had happened to Granger, as that would be the perfect thing to make his day take a turn for the worse, but when he got down to the great hall he saw her sitting with her friends as she had been at breakfast and lunch. He shrugged it off, daring to actually believe that he'd actually had a good day and nothing had really gone wrong. He could get used to it if all his days were like this; he wanted nothing more than to have a bit of peace in his life.

Draco listened to the first years as they sat down around him and started talking about their day and how annoying they thought a few of the third year Slytherins were. There were plots to irritate them in return, and for first years they were surprisingly well thought out. Draco would go as far as to say that he was proud of the four students for being able to come up with something like that. The first years were surprised to find him acting even slightly happy, though it was Elizabeth who kept commenting on it. She was thinking that Granger had something to do with it. And she did, but most of it was the thought Flitwick had given him. Because what if he was going to be forgiven by the wizarding world? What if people started to not despise him? What if he could go on with life without his actions hanging over his head? He hadn't believed it possible, but... "Are you even going to acknowledge that owl?" Elizabeth asked, gesturing to the spot in front of Draco at the table.

He'd been too lost in thought to notice the bird sitting in front of him, and it had its head cocked to the side as it stared at him with wide eyes. Draco took the letter attached to its leg. He recognized the handwriting almost immediately and complete dread settled in his stomach.

His mother hadn't written him since before Christmas, and those letters had never been good. Draco began cursing himself in his head; something bad had to happen and he should have paid more attention to that rule. He should have _known_ something would ruin a good day. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he answered gruffly, rising from the table and turning his back on the first years. He walked out as fast as he could, not bothering to look in Granger's direction because he was sure that would make him feel worse. Draco was sure that she wouldn't be paying much attention to him because her friends could be a handful, but that didn't bother him. Whatever it was his mother had to say, he wanted to read it in private and not have to listen to Granger's questions of what was going on.

He walked up the stairs, carefully opening the letter. He only caught a few words that were written on the page before his feet slipped out from under him. He let out a surprised noise, too caught up in the words _trial_ and _end of June_ to have heard the few whispered words that sent him tumbling down the stairs and trying to catch himself. He didn't manage to do that though, and ended up at the bottom of the stairs in a deserted corridor, groaning as he curled into a ball and held his stomach. He'd hit his head one too many times going down the stairs and he felt dizzy even though he wasn't moving. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and remained laying down, as he was sure that standing up would make him sick and he had no desire to get sick.


	43. Chapter 43

Harry and Ron were laughing loudly at something Ginny had said, but that was to be expected. It was as if nothing had changed with them, or at least they thought it was like that. Hermione's longtime friends didn't realize just how much she wanted to be walking out of the great hall with Draco at that moment; her head was beginning to ache from all the noise and while she hadn't seen a portion of the battle during the day in a long time, Hermione was afraid it was going to happen again. Head aches often happened before she saw pieces of the battle, though she slowly convinced herself that it was possible for it to be an actual head ache. Not everything had to lead to something bad, she knew, and it was silly to keep thinking that it did.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Neville asked quietly, concern laced into his voice. "Is Malfoy okay? He all but ran out of here,"

"I wasn't looking at him," Hermione denied quietly, sighing heavily and forcing herself to take a bite of the dessert sitting in front of her.

"Sure you weren't," Neville muttered. "I know something is going on between you two, Hermione, and you don't have to tell me what it is but you shouldn't lie to me about it either. I honestly don't care that you're friends with him. He's not rude to you or anything, anymore, so why should I?"

Hermione frowned at him, wishing she could remember the exact moment when Neville began to read her so well. In the past she'd been able to outsmart him in cases like this but now he just knew what was going on. "So I was looking at him," she said, her voice getting softer to make sure none of their other friends heard it. "And I am concerned that he left so quickly, but I don't know what it is and I don't expect he'll tell me until he's ready. Draco likes to take his time with things like that. He didn't tell me about his father going to trial until the day before we left for the holiday. We'd been friends for a while by then and I know he'd known for a while too,"

"Do you think it's something like that? Maybe his mother?"

"His mother? No, Harry said she saved him,"

"The ministry doesn't care about the good things Death Eaters do. They wanted to rub Snape's name in the dirt, didn't they? Even after all he'd done that was good,"

Hermione frowned and shook her head, the image of Snape dying popping into her mind for a moment. She'd never really liked him, nor had she hated him in the way other Gryffindors had, but him dying in front of her had affected her. "If it is something like that, I'm sure Harry will be called on her behalf. He would be the best person to make sure she didn't get in trouble. And Harry would tell me before Draco does,"

"I think maybe you should go talk to him. You never know; showing you care could make him-"

Hermione was well prepared to explain to him that she did care and Draco knew that she cared, but Luna cut in at that moment talking about how nice she thought the pudding was. Neville continued to glance at her throughout the remainder of dinner with worried eyes, and Hermione fought the urge to ask him whether or not he cared about Draco. There didn't seem to be another reason as to why he would be so worried about Draco's behavior, but Hermione knew that wasn't the truth. Neville was being kind about her friendship with him because he cared about her and wanted her to be happy, not because he thought it was good for Draco. "Do you want to come to the common room with us, Hermione?" Harry asked, smiling as he turned to look at her. He hadn't seemed to notice the tension between her and Neville, something Hermione was used to. "You haven't been up there much,"

"I think I'll just go back to my own," she declined politely. "But I'd be happy to walk you all up there,"

Five minutes later, after Ron had stuffed the last of his cake into his mouth, they walked out as a large group and began the slow climb to the Gryffindor tower. Harry and Ron were joking with each other and Neville, Luna, and Ginny were all talking quietly; Hermione was walking with Harry's arm around her shoulders as she listened to her friends. She'd missed the comfortable feeling of being with them and not truly worrying about what she could do wrong so the walk was actually quite pleasant even though she mostly kept quiet. Hermione was forced into hugs after they reached the Fat Lady, though all she wanted to do at that point was go to bed. Exhaustion usually caught up with her after dinner and that day had been no exception.

She got back to the common room only to find it empty. Hermione tried Draco's door and found it unlocked, though he wasn't inside. With a sigh she walked to her room and picked up a book and a blanket before going back out to the common room and curling up on the sofa. She would at least wait until he got back before going to bed; if Draco wanted to tell her something then, she wouldn't deny him the chance. She would be there for him, as he'd been there that morning. Sure Draco wasn't the best at comforting people, but she'd appreciated him that morning in the bathroom. Draco Malfoy hated crying yet he'd stayed with her when she'd broken down. Hermione was thankful it hadn't lasted long because she didn't like crying very much either, but him being there was appreciated all the same.

After a while Terry and Hannah came in, sat down, and began chatting about new conversations they'd had with students about things they could do to improve house unity. Hermione felt bad that she wasn't taking her responsibilities as serious as they were, but she didn't exactly have the motivation to sort out other's problems when she was still trying to sort out her own. A half hour passed with them ignoring her and Hermione focusing on her book before the door opened yet again. Hermione looked up, expecting to see Draco and get an explanation of where he'd disappeared to, but it was Professor McGonagall who entered the room. "Miss Granger, I need you to come with me,"

An overwhelming feeling of dread settled in her stomach. The last time McGonagall had pulled her out of a room it had been to tell her that her mother was dead and Hermione couldn't stop her mind from jumping to the conclusion that something had happened to her father as well. "Professor, what's going on?" she asked, standing up and regarding the older woman with concerned eyes. She quickly found that McGonagall was looking at her with the same expression.

"It's nothing too serious," McGonagall assured her. "Nevertheless, I need you to come with me," Hermione nodded and followed her out of the common room, where the worried expression on McGonagall's face melted into one of complete fury.

"Professor?"

"Draco Malfoy was attacked," she said quickly.

Shock was the first emotion that settled in Hermione's mind, though anger quickly took over. "_What_?" she asked sharply, her eyes narrowing. "How badly? Is he okay? Who did this?"

"He'll be fine, though I had Madam Pomfrey check him over and give him a sleeping potion. Do you know why I did this, Miss Granger?"

The anger in her voice made Hermione blink as she realized it was her that Professor McGonagall was angry with. "No, I don't,"

"Do you know the consequences of being deprived of sleep, Miss Granger? I'll inform you they are quite severe, so if you would kindly explain to me why Mr. Malfoy-"

"Professor-"

"And I would also like to know why I'm sure I would find you in the same condition,"

"You have no right to-"

"Miss Granger I simply want to protect my students. What is going on with you two?"

"I-Professor I-Just let me see Draco, please? I'll... We'll explain everything in the morning. I promise. But please, just let me see him. When he wakes up I want to talk this over with him,"

"Do I have your word, Miss Granger?"

"Of course," Hermione said quickly.

"Then come with me," Hermione was led to the hospital wing at a quick pace, something she was pleased with. Getting there quickly meant that she saw Draco sooner and that was something Hermione wanted. McGonagall hadn't explained what had happened when she said that Draco had been attacked and Hermione had been playing the worst case scenario in her mind. They arrived at his bed, Madam Pomfrey nowhere in sight, and Hermione let out a small sigh of relief. He didn't look too bad. "He's lucky he didn't break anything," McGonagall said quietly.

"What happened?"

"We think a tripping jinx had him falling down the stairs. He went head over heels, Miss Granger, and his head was injured but Madam Pomfrey healed that rather quickly. She says there will be bruising but it hasn't shown up yet so there's currently nothing we can do about that,"

"Someone wanted him to get seriously hurt then," Hermione said. "He could have broken something-he could have broken his neck!"

"And he's very lucky that he didn't,"

"Very lucky?" Hermione asked shrilly. "Someone basically tried to kill him and you're calling him _lucky_?"

"Miss Granger-"

"Do you even know who did it?"

"No. And Mr. Malfoy didn't see who did it; he said that when he was still awake,"

"I want them caught," Hermione said, her mind no longer thinking rationally. "I want to go through every damn student in this school until we find out who did it and-"

"Miss Granger we can't go interrogating every student!"

"Well then how are you protecting him?" Hermione asked, her voice steadily raising.

She'd been about to start shouting when Madam Pomfrey came bustling out of her quarters with a rather annoyed look on her face. "You must quiet down, Miss Granger!" she said furiously. "Look at him, you're already starting to disturb his sleep,"

The three witches looked to Draco in surprise; sleeping potions shouldn't be interrupted by one person shouting. They were stronger than that. Draco, who'd been laying still was now muttering incoherently under his breath. "What's going on?" McGonagall asked, a worried sound to her voice that almost made Hermione forget how angry she'd been with her moments ago.

"Is he-Is he having a nightmare?" Hermione asked, wondering if the suggestion would be helpful. She didn't know if he ever had nightmares; he never mentioned any to her but Hermione wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case. She was sure she looked the same when she was having one. His face contorted as he rolled onto his side. Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall watched him in shock for a few seconds, though Hermione didn't want to do that. Instead, she sat down in a chair and reached for his hand. He flinched when she touched him, though her hand was being held too tightly for her to try and pull away. "Go," she whispered. "There's nothing you can do to stop it, just go,"

"Miss Granger you must go to bed," Madam Pomfrey tried.

"I'm not leaving him," she said defiantly.

A few more minutes of angry conversation followed, as the two older woman attempted to force Hermione away from him, but she continued to refuse until they'd walked away in defeat. Hermione hadn't left Ron when he'd been in the hospital wing in sixth year and she didn't plan on leaving Draco either. She knew it wasn't true, but it seemed like he needed her and she wasn't going to leave when that thought was in her mind.

Hermione stayed in her chair, almost falling asleep on multiple different occasions, but she forced herself to focus on different things every few moments so she wouldn't drift off. She'd focused on Draco's pale face and the bruise forming by his temple no less than ten times by the time four o'clock came around, and even then there were two more hours before he was supposed to wake for the day. It was a Thursday morning and neither of them had a class on Thursday mornings, so Hermione reassured herself that they would have time to discuss what they were going to do. Now that McGonagall knew something was up with them they couldn't just avoid the topic; she wouldn't let them. And while Hermione didn't want to share her secret with anyone else and let them know about her nightmares, she really had no other choice.

Another two hours passed and Hermione fought off exhaustion as she noticed Draco begin to stir. He opened his eyes slowly and groaned, putting a hand to his head and immediately yelping. "Draco are you-"

"My letter," he said quickly, sitting up and looked around with wide eyes despite the pain Hermione could see in them. "My letter, where's my-"

"Draco what are you-"

He immediately jumped to grab a piece of parchment on the table by his bed. He promptly fell off and groaned again, though he continued to clutch the parchment tightly in his hands. He stood slowly, his face pale, and sat on the bed. It was only then that he seemed to truly notice her. "Granger what the hell are you doing here?"

"Professor McGonagall came to get me last night and told me you were hurt,"

"But what are you doing here?"

"I wasn't going to just sit in my room all night and worry about you,"

"Please tell me you slept,"

"I wasn't going to wake Madam Pomfrey up with a scream," she said quietly.

"Damn it, Granger, you're supposed to take care of yourself!"

"I was taking care of myself! I was just worried about you and-You know you have no right to be mad about this. It's basically what you've been doing for me ever since you found out,"

"But I don't give a damn about whether or not I'm sleeping; you need it,"

Hermione stared at him for a few moments, her frown not once leaving her face. He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the pillow on his bed and sighing. "Look, I did what I wanted to and you don't get to be upset about that," He nodded, resigned, and stared at the wall across the room. "Draco what happened?" she asked, reaching out to grab his hand. "Professor McGonagall said that-"

"I don't know, Granger. I'd rather not talk about it,"

"Draco?"

"What?" he asked irritably, frowning deeply.

"You're not looking at me,"

"Your point?"

"What happened?"

"It's none of your damn business,"

"Draco-" Hermione stopped as he turned to look at her, finally meeting her eyes.

"They know what's happening, Granger," he said quietly. "They know about how little sleep we're getting because of the stair thing. McGonagall's going to ask you about it and I let your secret go because I couldn't catch myself on the damn stairs,"

"I don't care about that,"

"But _I_ care, Granger! If it weren't for me then you wouldn't have to try and explain something you don't want to talk about and it's my fault and I-"

Hermione hesitated before standing up and holding both of his cheeks. She knew the action was bold and it had shocked Malfoy, she could tell by the look in his eyes, but she had to make him see reason. "Draco I _don't_ care about that. Do you hear me? It would have come out eventually and... and maybe someone will find some way to help me. I don't know. But I don't care about that. I care about the fact that you got hurt last night,"

"Granger what are you-"

She surprised herself by kissing him rather quickly. It was another action that surprised him, but neither had the time to comment on it because McGonagall walked into the room a few moments after Hermione pulled away. For the next half an hour McGonagall listened as they explained why they weren't sleeping, and the news seemed to only upset her. She promised to call them both to her office later in the week once she'd come up with a solution to their problem. She'd left them to Madam Pomfrey fussing over Draco before he was released, and they walked back toward the common room.

Draco had been quiet ever since Professor McGonagall had left, and it wasn't until he pulled her into a side corridor often used to get to the great hall that he said a word. "Granger why did you tell me it was okay when it so obviously wasn't?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You've hid that all year and the only reason you're telling anyone now is because McGonagall found out that I wasn't sleeping. How are you okay with that?"

"Because in the moment the more important thing was that you were okay. I'd rather you be okay than my sleeping patterns still be a secret,"

"You care about me then,"

"Draco you already know that I do. I don't know why you're still so unsure,"

"Because I don't...Granger I didn't think that you..." Something flickered in his eyes, an emotion that Hermione assumed wouldn't be shared with her. But after a moment Draco was leaning in and kissing her gently, and she was sure he was appreciative of her words. Hermione knew the appreciation wasn't needed because it was simply how she felt, but she didn't say anything about it and kissed him back. It had surely only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away and took her hand, leading her back to the common room. "Get some sleep," he said quietly. "You're exhausted,"

"There's not enough time before my first class," Hermione said, frowning. "I'd rather just heal your bruises,"

"My-Granger I haven't even looked to see if there are any," he said.

"There's already one on your face, Draco," she stated, pulling him into her room as Terry and Hannah weren't in the common room or probably even awake yet. "Are you okay if I-" she started, grabbing some of the bruise removal paste from her trunk. He only nodded in response and closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Draco? What's gotten into you?"

"It's nothing," he said, though Hermione knew that wasn't really the case. But she didn't want to do anything that would upset him, as that would only make him angry and she didn't want a fight. He would tell her, eventually.


	44. Chapter 44

Draco Malfoy was sitting on Hermione Granger's bed with his shirt off. Which, under normal circumstances, would have had him red in the face and trying to get away from her. However Granger had insisted on looking at his back to see if there was any bruising from the fall he'd taken and she hadn't taken no for an answer, so there they were. She'd first gently rubbed a spot near his temple and applied the same paste she'd put on over the holiday. Draco didn't know much about the paste she was using but it was completely genius, he felt, because any mark from the fall would be gone within an hour. However after fretting over his face, she'd demanded to see his back and one thing had led to another and now... Her cool fingers were very gently going into that container with the paste and then rubbing small circles on the spots where he was sore. Madam Pomfrey had tried to get him to let her examine him, but Draco had firmly denied and walked out with Granger beside him.

Then there was the kiss in the corridor, something that left Draco feeling pleasant and satisfied with his day, even though his mind was mostly focusing on the portions of the letter he'd read the previous day. He should have known; he should have realized it would happen sooner rather than later. He flinched slightly as Granger touched his back again, for the first time wishing his skin wasn't so damn pale because it just let the bruises stand out. And Granger was determined to get every single one of them, something he was sure no one else would care about. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, pulling her hands away from him for a moment. He had curled up on himself slightly so he was folded almost in half, but he straightened up and turned his head to face her. "Draco?"

"Are you almost done?"

"You fell down the stairs, Draco. Your back looks horrible," she gave as an answer, shaking her head slightly and offering him a sad smile. "Am I hurting you?"

"No," he answered defensively; he was sore from the fall so it wasn't her that was hurting him, it was just an overall dull ache.

"Okay," Granger nodded and Draco turned back around, closing his eyes and allowing her to continue putting the paste on his back. Another few minutes passed with Draco's mind dwelling on the letter before Granger placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're upset about something," she said.

"I'm not,"

"Draco, I've been talking to you for the last five minutes and you haven't heard a word I've said,"

"You have?"

"I have,"

"Look, Granger, I don't really-"

"I'm not asking you to talk about it right now. I just hope that you'll be ready to talk about sometime soon. You know that I-"

"You care about me, Granger. You've mentioned," The words made him feel worse than he already did though, because if she really cared about him and the letter was true then... He didn't want to hurt her. But that wasn't an option, Draco was beginning to realize. So he had to choose: hurt her now or hurt her later. But the thought of hurting Granger after she'd spent the entire night sitting by his side and probably holding his hand made him feel sick to his stomach, and it made the room start to spin. He squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see that anymore; later was his choice. He wouldn't do anything to make her unhappy right now. Granger cared about him; she was the only person to ever show it so openly and Draco was starting to get too used to it. He didn't want to give that up when it had only just started.

She sighed and shook her head as he carefully put his shirt back on. It made him feel a little more comfortable, though sitting in her room wasn't helping much. "Well, I'm going to shower before my first class," she said, which Draco took as his cue to leave the room. He hurried off her bed and only paused when he got to the door.

"Granger?"

"Yes?"

"I... I appreciate what you did. Even though it wasn't necessary,"

She chuckled softly and nodded. "I'm glad you're okay,"

He slipped out of her room and closed the door gently before walking into his own. He slid down to the floor after pressing his back against the door. He'd shoved the letter in his pocket before walking into Granger's room in the hopes that she wouldn't ask about it and to his luck she didn't. She'd been too focused on trying to make sure he was okay to remember that he'd fallen off his bed to get it. Draco unfolded it and carefully tried to smooth the creases and crumples that were on it.

_My Dearest Son,_  
_ I have only just received word from the Ministry. They plan to hold a trial for your crimes from the war after you get out of school at the end of June. I have come to accept that your father going to Azkaban may have been for the best. I am not willing to lose you to that awful place as well. I know very well that they will not go easy on you because of your age, as most would, because the people in charge of these trials want all people involved with the Death Eaters to spend the rest of their lives in Azkaban. It seems as if the only thing that can ease their minds are words from the major fighters who were with Harry Potter. I understand that you would rather do anything else, but I beg of you to inform Miss Hermione Granger of your situation. You may or may not admit it, as you've never mentioned to me your true feelings about the girl, but from what I saw at Platform Nine and Three Quarters I believe she would be happy to help as the two of you care greatly for each other. Perhaps you could ask Professor McGonagall to say something to the Wizengamot as well. She would not have put you in the Delegate program if she did not believe that you were a good person. Draco do not let your pride get in the way of asking for help with this. You are going to trial and they will judge you for the Dark Mark on your arm. I am sure the only thing that can prevent you from going to Azkaban is the help of those around you. Please try._  
_ Most Sincerely,_  
_ Mother_

Draco groaned heavily and closed his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face as he thought over the words written on the parchment. He could tell how desperate his mother was because of the fact that she wanted him to talk to Granger and McGonagall. He hated to think that his mother was sitting at home, worry consuming her mind as she tried to find a way to ensure he wasn't sent to prison. And Draco knew that she was trying. She certainly had been angry with him after his father's trial but she seemed to have let that go and accepted that his father tended to be a horrible person who took pleasure in everything the Dark Lord had done. But she had always cared about him, so she wouldn't want him to get into trouble. But Draco thought it was really just a matter of time.

He wouldn't be telling Granger anything. She would run herself into the ground trying to find some way to make sure he wasn't going to get into trouble. He'd noticed her doing the same thing for that damn hippogriff in third year and he wouldn't add any more to her plate. She was already exhausted and she would stop sleeping completely, he was sure, to try and come up with a solution. Draco didn't need to see her like that; he took no pleasure in seeing her upset and that's what the news would do.

As to asking McGonagall, Draco had no intention of doing that either. He was unsure of her feelings involving him and while he knew she couldn't think too poorly of him to put him with the Delegates, that wasn't saying she liked him either. He refused to request her help because she would also inform Granger and that would only make Granger mad at him because he hadn't told her himself. Besides, it would probably come up in a meeting and then Boot and Abbott would go and then the rest of Hogwarts would find out and only laugh at him. Draco didn't want to be laughed at for what would happen to him.

With a sigh Draco stood, carefully tucking the letter into his trunk before pulling on fresh clothes. He waited a while for Granger to come out of the bathroom before he freshened up himself. As much as the news threatened to consume his mind he knew he couldn't let it. Granger was already suspicious and she wanted him to talk things through with him and he wouldn't allow her suspicions to grow. He had to act as normally as he could which Draco couldn't even do well because he was still sore from his fall. At the very least he was no longer dizzy and he didn't feel sick like he had the previous day, so he didn't have to feel very sick.

Granger was gone when he came back out into the common room because her class started before his, so Draco sat down in his chair for a few minutes before he grabbed his bag and went to his first class of the day.

After his afternoon classes were done Draco decided to avoid the common room, where Granger often chose to study, and took his books outside. Despite the fact that he was sure his life was over after the school year Draco knew that he wanted to receive the best marks possible on his N.E.W.T.S. Granger had started studying long ago and she sometimes pestered him about needing to start as well and Draco had finally decided to take her advice. There were still two months until the exams but the N.E.W.T.S were hard and there was a lot of material to cover. He settled himself by a rock by the Black Lake. Other students were settled all over the grounds and a few from the other houses had settled near him, but Draco was able to ignore them for the most part.

Draco focused solely on Transfiguration that afternoon, as that was the class he'd always felt the least comfortable with, and made a bit of progress on his notes. As the afternoon dragged on and the air became a bit warmer he was less able to focus on his studies. After a while he leaned his head back, his mother's letter momentarily drifting back into his mind before the words of some fourth years a few feet away met his ears. "I mean messing with the first years was fun," one boy said quietly, probably hoping that no one would hear. "But that was nothing like what we did yesterday,"

The sound of a girl's laughter came next. "I only wish that stupid traitor had been with him. It would have been more fun to freeze him and make him watch her take the tumble,"

"That would have been good, yeah," someone agreed. "But she's talented and smart so she would have seen us coming. He was too focused on himself to notice,"

"I doubt she would have. She spends too much time looking at him,"

"Whoever would have thought that would happen. Hermione Granger with that stupid Death Eater,"

Draco's attention had been slowly melting away, as he knew the fourth years were the ones who had messed with the first year Slytherins, but as soon as Granger's name came up in conversation he was all ears again. "We have to think of something else now," the girl said. "She needs to learn that to us, to those that lost people, traitors are just as bad as the Death Eaters themselves,"

"We could always figure out how to get the Dark Mark on her arm to show what we think of her,"

His mouth fell open at the suggestion. Didn't they know that Granger's arm was already marked? But the thought of the ugly tattoo on her arm angered him. "No, that's too serious. People would realize it was us because of what we did with those Death Eater's kids,"

"Yeah, you're right. Still it would be funny to see her freak out about it,"

"What else can we do?"

"I say we make her fall too. I mean that was harmless enough, wasn't it?"

"But what fun is that? We've already seen that with Malfoy,"

"So we get him there when it happens. That way they both freak out. I don't know, I hope Granger gets hurt worse than he did. Malfoy's bad enough because he fought with the Death Eaters but Granger's a traitor. She pretended to be good just to get in Harry Potter's favor and she pretended to fight with everyone good at the battle but she's a Death Eater sympathizer. What do you want to bet she secretly helped Death Eaters at the battle? It would explain why she's so close with Malfoy,"

"I hope she gets hurt too," the girl said. "I always thought she was nice when she went to school with us but it turns out she's a bitch and she-"

Draco stood up, his stuff forgotten as he walked toward the talking students. He pulled his wand out of his pocket, his hands trembling as his anger began to be the thing that took over his mind. Soon enough he stood in front of the fourth years who were looking up at him in surprise. "What do you think you're-"

"I believe you were talking about Granger," he growled. Maybe that wasn't the only thing that was making him so angry; he was surely angry about the letter he'd received and a bunch of other things, but hearing about what they wanted for Granger had sent him over the edge. He had said once that he would lose it if he heard people talking badly about Granger, and that seemed to be holding true.

"What? No, why would we be-"

"I _heard_ you talking about her,"

"Look, we were just letting off some steam," one of the boys tried.

"You were talking about hurting her,"

"It was a joke, seriously-"

"That was some joke," he said angrily, his wand clenched tightly in his hand. "You know what's really sad and pathetic?"

"You," the girl muttered under her breath, as if he wouldn't be able to hear her.

"That was the same answer I was going to give," he stated, his eyes narrowing. "You say she's a traitor but she's the only one trying for forgiveness which is what, may I say, Dumbledore and Potter would want. And you five idiots seem to think that attacking Harry Potter's _best friend_ is going to make him pleased with you and it will make up for those that died in the battle. Granger's not a traitor; the traitor is those that go against the girl that's only trying to make the world better,"

"If she wasn't a traitor she wouldn't hang around you!"

Draco rolled his eyes as some of his anger faded. The kids were just idiots; they could never outsmart Granger and she would be able to take care of herself. She didn't need him doing anything stupid to prevent their plans. At the same time Draco didn't give a damn about what Granger did and did not need. They were threatening her and Draco wouldn't tolerate that. "She could never be a traitor," he said angrily. "If you're too stupid to realize that then I feel sorry for you,"

"You're only saying that because you-"

"Granger deserves to rot in Azkaban for what she's doing," one of the boys said defiantly, his eyes blazing. "My older brother was killed by your kind and Granger's making it seem like it was worth absolutely nothing by hanging around you,"

His anger sparked again and Draco grabbed the collar of the boy, pulling him off the ground. "She's been through _hell_," he whispered, his voice dangerous. "She's been through hell and back because of what happened in that war. She mourns every _single_ person that died in that war, your brother included," He actually didn't know if that was true because Draco didn't even know who the kid was so he didn't know his brother, but Draco had his suspicions. Granger would have felt bad for everyone that died, especially if they fought alongside her. "You have no _idea_ what it's like to be her and see what she's seen and go through what she went through. Granger could never be a traitor; if you know what Death Eaters are capable of then you know that's the truth. If you knew what she went through in that war then there's not a chance in the damn world you would be saying any of this,"

"She faked everything," the boy said angrily, though Draco was sure he saw fear flicker in the younger student's eyes. "She tricked Harry Potter and Ron Weasley and was off undermining the effort the entire time. I'm sure of it,"

"She was out there trying to make sure none of you had to die! She was being _tortured_ and nearly killed and not once did she stop because she's-"

"Malfoy!"

The sound of Potter's voice startled him and he released the kid's collar, whipping around and frowning. "What?" he asked irritably.

"Care to explain why you look like you're about to kill these kids?" he asked, a grim expression on his face. Potter also looked angry and Draco was sure it was because of him.

"There were saying that Granger was-"

"Thought that was it," he said, his angry eyes turning to the fourth years. "Hermione's better than all five of you," he said coldly, a voice Draco didn't know Potter was capable of.

"But she-"

"She's the only one that truly understands what the word needs. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Unity. This thing you're doing, it's the kind of thing that starts more wars. And I'd rather not fight in another war. And somehow I doubt any of you would step up,"

"But we were only just-"

"Threatening my best friend? And honestly, doing within earshot of Malfoy and myself was completely idiotic. As if we wouldn't try to protect her,"

"But he's only protecting her because-" the girl began, earnestly gesturing to Malfoy.

"He's protecting her for a reason that I don't know and that's definitely none of your business or mine. Now, I would advise you to stop this stupidity before I go to Professor McGonagall and explain to her your plans. I don't think any of your parents would like the letter saying that you've been expelled for violence, now would they?" The stunned kids only shock their heads and blushed a deep red color. Draco himself was surprised to find that he was working alongside Potter for something, though he fought hard not to show it. "Great. Now I don't expect any more of my afternoons to be ruined by hearing your plans. Got it?"

"And don't even think about touching her," Draco added before Potter grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the fourth years.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he hissed angrily when he was sure the fourth years couldn't hear them. "Seriously, Malfoy, getting in trouble for attacking fourth years would only upset Hermione,"

"They were _threatening_ her, Potter," he spat, yanking his arm out of his grip. "They were joking about finding a way to brand her with the Dark Mark and I wasn't going to sit there and listen to it,"

"Then you come get someone who's not already on thin ice,"

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, feeling dread settle in his stomach. Potter said _thin ice_ for a reason and Draco hated to think about what that reason was.

"Kingsley sent me a letter about what's going to happen to you after school. Asked me what I thought of you this year. I told him you were actually decent and weren't being a prejudiced ass like you were in the past. But attacking fourth years would send you to Azkaban,"

"Why do you care where I get sent?"

"Because I see the way you two are around each other. I see you holding hands in class and I see the way she looks at you. She used to look at Ron like that, back before he ruined everything with her. I don't mention it and I don't plan on mentioning it because it's her life and as long as you don't hurt her I'm fine with it, but you being sent to prison is going to tear her apart. Haven't you seen how she is lately? Don't you know what happened to her parents? Can't you tell how that's affecting her?"

"I knew it was something, Potter, but she didn't let me in on that little secret until yesterday morning. And that's not the only thing affecting her; I've known about everything else for months. But she's not fragile; she'll be fine,"

"What else is-"

"It's not my place to tell you," Draco said, furious with his slip up. "Though now McGonagall knows too so I'm sure you will soon,"

"Malfoy-"

"And it's not your place to tell her what you know, Potter. It's messed up enough that Kingsley told you but I don't need her finding out too,"

"You're-You're not going to tell her?"

"Not yet. And I don't want you meddling,"

"Malfoy-"

"Don't you dare start telling me what to do, Potter. Granger does that enough for the both of you,"

To his surprise Potter let out a short laugh. "She does do that a lot, doesn't she?" Draco nodded slightly, unsure of what he was supposed to say. For a few more minutes Potter spoke to him, trying to make sure that things were okay with him and Granger and that if he wasn't going to tell her about the trial then, he at least make sure she was happy. Draco had rolled his eyes but agreed. He didn't want Granger unhappy so it would be stupid to try and upset her. "I never expected you two to be friends, you know?"

"I didn't either," Draco admitted quietly, his head beginning to ache as it was so full of thoughts.

"Maybe you get along so well because you're so similar,"

"We're not-"

"Or maybe I'm wrong and you're incredibly different but you balance each other. It could be that. She makes you care more about people and not be so harsh all the time. You make her think of the best thing for her instead of for others. You know that actually seems more likely,"

"Potter do you want to shut up any time soon?"

He shrugged and surprised Draco again by offering him a smile. "I should find Ginny; I came out here to get some fresh air. You should go get an early dinner. You're looking a bit peaky and I didn't see you at lunch,"

"Why were you even looking?"

"Hermione was worried,"

"Of course she was," Draco muttered. Potter shrugged slightly before walking up toward the castle. Draco turned and walked back to his things, collecting them before going back to the castle himself. He would have glared at the fourth years on his way past them but they were long gone. At least he was sure they wouldn't be going near Granger any time soon.


	45. Chapter 45

Hermione sat very tensely in a chair in Professor McGonagall's office. She had absolutely no desire to be there and by the look on Draco's face he didn't want to be in the room either. And really there was no true need for him to be there because he could sleep through the night if he really wanted to, though Hermione was sure he was starting to adjust to the schedule he was currently on. Which couldn't possibly be a good thing because if he got adjusted to the schedule then there was no telling how long it would take him to get back to sleeping normally. Hermione hated to think that it was her fault his sleeping pattern was messed up in the first place and she hadn't even thought about it causing him much more damage than being tired. Which was quite pathetic; she should have looked into the matter and made sure he would be okay. The fact that he wasn't okay worried her.

However the longer they sat in Professor McGonagall's office the angrier Draco became. Almost every suggestion she made and every time the older witch encouraged Hermione to talk to her friends, his scowl grew larger and angry noises escaped his lips. Hermione wanted him to either shut up and support her getting help from others or just leave the room. She couldn't handle his anger at the moment even though she despised sitting there as much as he did. And if she did start to sleep more each night then everything had to get better and they could try to get to a normal state.

At that moment she really just wanted to go back to the common room and start studying on the floor with Draco's fingers intertwined with her own but she knew that wasn't about to happen. McGonagall was currently in the middle of stating that neither were allowed to leave their rooms after midnight, and it was already getting late. Besides, as usual she was beginning to get tired and it was about time she went to bed. The nightmares would come again but hopefully, if McGonagall's advice worked, they would be stopping soon. The only problem that Hermione really had with the advice was that Professor McGonagall wanted her to tell her friends. And she had absolutely no interest in doing that; telling her friends meant receiving their pity and Hermione hated pity.

"Are we in agreement?" Professor McGonagall asked, looking at Hermione with more concern than Hermione had seen directed at her in a long time. Sure her father had been horrified when he'd seen her arm and heard her first scream as she woke during the night, but even he hadn't looked at her like her Transfiguration professor was now.

"Yes," Hermione said, nodding as the tension in her body slowly began to dissolve. The words meant that the meeting was almost over; she could relax then.

"Very good. And Mr. Malfoy?"

"What?"

"Do you agree to the-"

"I think it's stupid," he muttered, his eyes staring intently at one of the books on the desk in front of them.

"Mr. Malfoy-"

"You're giving us a bedtime and preventing us from making our own choices to be around each other because you're terrified of how others will see it. And you don't want Granger being involved with a-"

"It's nothing like that," McGonagall said quickly. "I am quite simply trying to make sure the two of you remain in good health throughout the remainder of the school year. And I want Miss Granger to get better,"

"You don't give a damn on whether or not she's better. If you did you would have paid attention and done something earlier; then she would already be fine,"

"Draco stop," Hermione muttered.

"And of course you'll just go along with it because you do everything she says,"

"I-"

"So I think it's bloody stupid. I think I should be allowed to make sure she's okay because I don't want to see her upset every morning because she-"

"Will you please just shut up!" Hermione snapped. "This isn't about _you_ Draco; it's not about what _you_ want!"

"Miss Granger-"

"I understand what you're saying and believe me I don't like the thought of being separated from you but if it helps then-I don't want to wake up screaming anymore," she said, her voice quickly losing all of the anger that had gathered in her mind. "I'm tired; I'm absolutely exhausted and if Professor McGonagall thinks this will help then I want to try it,"

"But I-"

"Just say yes, Draco, and let's move on,"

There was silence in the room for a few moments, as Hermione stared out the window and she felt Draco's eyes on her. She didn't know if he would actually cave in just to please her, it didn't seem like something Draco Malfoy would do, but he wasn't the same Draco Malfoy she'd known most of her life. "Fine,"

The gruff word had Hermione quickly turning her head to look at him, though his eyes were locked on McGonagall. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy,"

"But this is for _her_," he said, gesturing roughly at Hermione. "Got it? For her. If she isn't better then I won't keep going along with it,"

"That seems fair," Professor McGonagall said, n0dding.

With that, Draco stood and left the room, slamming the door behind him. "That went well," Hermione said with a long sigh. "Thank you, Professor,"

"I do think this is the best course of action, Miss Granger. I realize that Mr. Malfoy was right in saying I should have done something earlier but I was hoping... Please see that Mr. Malfoy is okay,"

"He'll be fine," Hermione said, standing from her chair and taking steps toward the door. "So I'll start speaking to-"

"Next week, Miss Granger. I'm truly sorry it's taken this long to get you help,"

"It's my own fault," she said. "I could have said something earlier," With that Hermione left the office as well and walked back to the common room. It was getting late so there weren't many people walking through the corridors, a fact that pleased her. She got to the common room rather quickly only to find Terry and Hannah sitting on the sofa, whispering to one another.

Hermione opened her mouth but Hannah spoke before she could get out a word. "Before you ask, he walked in a few minutes ago, slammed the door shut behind him, and then went to his room and slammed that door too. He seemed upset about something. I hope you two can work it out,"

"Hannah I-"

"Hermione, we _know_," she said. "Both of us. Maybe we don't know everything going on, but we know enough. Believe it or not you two can be incredibly oblivious to everything around you at three in the morning when you're holding hands,"

Her mouth fell open; she'd never noticed Hannah or Terry coming out when her and Draco were studying together on the floor. Or doing other things, like having the rare conversations that left her heart aching for him. "It's not-"

"Seriously, Hermione, denying it is pointless. Maybe if you two went public you wouldn't have so many problems," Terry said, chuckling slightly.

"You don't even-"

"Like him? Yeah, I don't. He gets on my nerves. But I have no control over you and what you do and I'm getting sick of you two having drama,"

She continued to stand in front of the two delegates, her mouth opened slightly in surprise, before she quickly turned and walked into her own room. She couldn't believe that they'd even kept what they'd seen secret. At least Hermione hadn't noticed anyone talking about her or Draco having something going on-and Hermione didn't know what that something was. She wouldn't push him on the matter as it made her nervous too, but if it continued they would have to figure something out. Hermione wanted it to continue. That thought made her nervous too.

She didn't sleep that night. She spent hours laying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out exactly what had made Draco so angry to make him storm out of the room. She was forced to think about how lonely her nights would be if she couldn't spend half of them with him. And how was that supposed to help her anyway? Hermione was sure that staying alone was only going to make her situation worse. And so when six came that morning Hermione climbed off the bed, her eyes actually beginning to hurt from staying open for too long. She walked out of her room only to find Draco doing the same. He glanced at her, an expression that almost looked worried on his face, before he took a step closer to her. "I-" he started awkwardly, frowning.

"Are we-"

"As far as I'm concerned," he said, appearing to know what she wanted to ask before she could actually ask it. "Are you-"

"No, I'm not mad at you. I just wish you would have been happier for me instead of getting so angry. And I wish you would tell me what bothered you so much,"

He rubbed his chin and frowned at her. "I don't know if I want to discuss it,"

"But how are we supposed to-"

"Supposed to what?"

"Move forward!"

"Granger what are you-"

"How are we supposed to ever move into another phase of whatever the hell we are if you won't talk to me about anything?"

"Did I ever say that we were going to move forward?" he asked quietly.

Hermione was shocked into silence. She stared at him for a few seconds, well aware that hurt was shining in her eyes, before she turned away from him and hurried into the bathroom. She showered quickly for once and got ready for her day, avoiding him to the best of her ability.

That continued on for another two days. Hermione didn't know why but Draco looked conflicted and he looked _sad_ whenever he looked at her. Hermione was sure her expression mirrored his, though hers had to look more tired. Harry seemed to have noticed the change and he kept questioning her and hinting at something that Hermione seemed to be absolutely incapable of understanding. For those two days she also didn't sleep as she didn't want to wake up and be completely alone after a nightmare. She'd done it before but then Draco had changed things and Hermione wasn't quite prepared to go back to how things had been. Her mind was still way too busy when night came about, as she was thinking about Draco and her friends and what she could possibly say to the woman Professor McGonagall wanted her to talk to the next week.

Which was why, Hermione realized as she sat in the Potions room, it was an incredibly bad idea to come to class that day. The Potions room was stuffy and unnaturally warm and it just set her up for failure. So that day Hermione did something completely out of character for herself: she fell asleep in class. It happened some time during Slughorn lecturing them on what would appear on their N.E.W.T test. She absolutely hated the fact that she couldn't keep her eyes open and she would have to read through the entire textbook again to make sure she didn't miss anything. But as she began dozing with her head resting on her hands, reading through the textbook became the last thing she was thinking about.

Before Hermione could even try to wake herself up, people in black robes and masks came storming into the room with their wands raised. It wasn't a typical nightmare, usually it started off as something from the battle, but it seemed to be turning into something from the battle. The classroom melted around her and her classmates began running about, trying to get away and throwing spells over their shoulders. Soon enough Hermione was all but falling off a broom near the Room of Requirement with Ron and Harry by her side. Draco was there as well, looking at her in terror before running off. The scene quickly shifted to the moment where she'd believed Harry was dead and Ron had been the only thing keeping her from completely falling apart. But then she was seeing Lavender's mauled body and the werewolf that had killed her. And next it was Fred and the Weasley family surrounding him with looks of pure agony on their faces. And then pain was coursing through her body as she was hit with an unknown spell. A moment later she was looking into Bellatrix Lestrange's eyes as the older witch raised her wand, her other hand pulling a knife out of her robes.

Hermione only became aware that the ringing in her ears was caused by her screams after she'd fallen off the stool. She couldn't have been asleep for that long yet the scream sounded just the same as it normally did.

Every eye in the classroom was on her. Hermione was sure it wouldn't have been that bad if Draco wasn't at her side. And they'd been sitting on opposite sides of the room. "Draco what-"

"What the hell happened?" he asked, reaching for her hand. Hermione was about to respond and grab for him when he was shoved out of the way by everyone else in the classroom. He got pushed to the back of the crowd which he obviously fought, but Hermione knew he wouldn't get back to her.

"Hermione what's-" Harry began, his eyes full of concern.

"Hermione are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"What were you doing asleep?"

"Hermione do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

"Why did you scream?"

"Hermione what's going on with you?"

The questions continued to come before Hermione could answer them, and she quickly became overwhelmed by the questions. Her name echoed through the classroom as people began shouting their questions at her and Hermione's eyes widened. She didn't know what to think; she could barely even hear Harry talking to her or Ron yelling at everyone to shut up. And before she knew it, Harry was helping her to her feet and Professor Slughorn was telling her friends to take her to the hospital wing. She knew she was fine and that there was nothing that could be done to help her, yet she accepted their hands on her arms as they led her to the infirmary.

For almost half an hour she sat in a bed, letting the Calming Draught Madam Pomfrey gave her take effect. Harry and Ron had been questioning her endlessly and soon enough, as it was lunch then, her other friends had come running in the room as the news spread around the school like wildfire. She listened to them all scold her for not coming to them after she'd quietly explained the extent of what was happening, as after the screaming in Potions she couldn't hide it very well. It was mostly Ginny and Harry who were doing the scolding; Ron was staring at her in shock along with Neville and Luna was giving her a sad smile.

"I think we should bring him in," Neville said suddenly, interrupting Harry's turn at yelling at her. "He knows, doesn't he Hermione?"

"Neville who-"

"Malfoy. He knows, doesn't he?"

"He-"

"That son of a-" Harry began to shout. "This is what he was talking about! When he said there was something you were hiding! Damn it, Hermione, _why_ didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want this!" she protested weakly, folding her arms across her chest. "I didn't want-"

"Guys I think we should bring him in," Neville said again.

"What the hell are you on about?" Ron asked.

"Malfoy was pacing outside the door when we got here. I think maybe it's time to pull him in,"

Hermione frowned, thinking about the rocky place they were currently in. "I don't know if-"

At that moment the door slammed open. Professor McGonagall walked in first, dragging Draco into the room behind her. "I've had enough," she said loudly, walking quickly to the bed Hermione was sitting in. "You cannot keep shouting at everyone for coming to try and get a peek, Mr. Malfoy, that is _my_ job. Now sit _down_ and discuss her condition with everyone that cares about her and stop yelling at everyone else!"

After Professor McGonagall left, Ron began to glare at Draco. Neville, Ginny, and Luna had indifferent expressions on their face. Harry actually looked slightly grateful to see him. "You're an ass," Harry said loudly.

"I'm well aware," Draco snapped.

"You couldn't have mentioned _this_? That she was dealing with this _alone_?"

"She wasn't alone," he argued quietly.

"Yes she-"

"No, Potter, she wasn't. She had me,"

Hermione stared at him in surprise. It wasn't like him to say something like that in front of the people who he'd always hated. He didn't want to show any level of emotion around them. So when he did, Hermione realized that something had changed in him over the past few days. The only thing she needed to know was exactly what had changed.


	46. Chapter 46

To say that Draco was terrified when he heard a scream rip through the Potions room would be a major understatement. He'd been forcing himself to take notes on what Slughorn had been saying, as it would keep him from glancing at Granger, when the sound he knew all too well entered the room. His ink had gone all over his notes and a bit had gotten onto the robes of the girl in front of him. Not that he would actually mention that; he had no desire to get screamed at for ruining that girl's outfit. And then, before he could even give a thought to the fact that he wanted his feelings for Granger to remain secret, he'd rushed to her side and attempted to grab her hand to make sure she was okay.

Of course he'd had to go run to the hospital wing after she'd been escorted there by Potter and Weasley-and Draco had really hated seeing Weasley touch her-to make sure that no one who didn't care about her got into the infirmary. The news of Granger falling to the floor screaming would travel fast around the castle and she didn't need people gawking at her. And that had worked, he'd turned away quite a few people without her actually knowing what he was doing, until Professor McGonagall had caught him at it. They'd argued for a good ten minutes, where McGonagall insisted that he go in and just deal with her other friends and Draco had furiously refused to do that. He'd had no choice, though, when she'd grabbed his arm and pulled her into the room behind her.

The expression on Granger's face when she heard what he'd been doing made him want to look away. She looked incredibly surprised, but at the same time her expression had been very thankful. And then he'd uttered the words _she had me_ and everyone stared at him with surprise. The words had even caused Weasley to quit glaring at him for a moment, which Draco appreciated. He was beginning to hate being under Weasley's cold glare. He got enough of those from other people; he didn't need it from Weasley too. Weasley's glare had quickly come back into place though. Surprisingly, he was the only one who started glaring.

His sister had a slightly confused expression on her face; it quickly switched to understanding and she stared at Granger with an open mouth. Longbottom seemed to be letting out a sigh and nodding. Lovegood only smiled dreamily, in a way that made Draco wonder if she was even smiling about what he'd said. Potter was smirking at him which made Draco scowl. "Took you long enough to reveal it," Potter muttered.

Granger's shocked expression was slowly fading, but her eyes remained focused on him and Draco chose to keep looking at her as well. For a few seconds that continued, though Longbottom was quickly clearing his throat. Draco's eyes snapped to him as his face went warm; he didn't want to look at Granger again. "You know, guys," Longbottom said slowly. "Maybe we should step out for a minute?"

"Why would we-" Weasley began.

Potter grabbed Weasley's arm and pulled him away from the bed Granger was sitting on. "I think Neville's right. We're going to-" He hesitated, trying to come up with something to say and not really succeeding.

"We're going to grab a sandwich from the great hall and then we'll be back," Weasley's sister stated, offering Granger a large smile. "We'll see you in a few minutes, all right?"

Granger nodded, her face going warm as well. They probably looked similar in that aspect, something that Draco realized was an odd thought for that moment. After having his mind focused solely on her for far longer than usual he was now thinking about how they looked. It was absolutely ridiculous, he knew, but there it was. After her friends had left, Granger cleared her throat and frowned at him. "Why were you standing out there?"

"I didn't want anyone to come stare at you. And believe me, they tried,"

"But you didn't have to do that,"

"Have I had to do anything when it comes to you this year?"

The comment made her quiet for a few seconds and she stared at him quizzically. "Draco?"

"What?" he asked, his tone slightly sharp.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"_This_," she said, her voice steady yet sad. It made him irritated to hear the sadness in it, especially because he knew it was his own fault. "Why are you caring and trying when you don't even want us to go anywhere?"

"Granger, I-"

"I don't want to name whatever's going on," she said, turning her head to the left and staring out a window. He sighed quietly, knowing that if he were in her position he wouldn't look at whoever he was talking to. "But if I'm going to keep going on caring about you and-and kissing you-" The words sounded like they were hard for her to say. She probably thought he was just toying with her emotions to mess with her, and that made his heart pound a little harder. He didn't want to hurt her, and if that thought was in her mind like he was sure it was then he was doing just that. "-then I'd like some kind of assurance that you at least want something else to happen. Or you can see it happening in the future,"

"I-"

"And if you can't give me that, then we need to stop. I _can't_ let this go on for absolutely no reason. No matter how much I've grown to care for you,"

It wasn't the first time that year he'd been completely furious. And the irrational anger that sprung up at her words nearly made him dizzy. He was mad that she'd even suggest stopping and letting go of what they had. He cared far too much about her to just-His eyes widened slightly at the realization. He cared too much about her to spend time away from her and stop what they had. Draco didn't know exactly what that meant but he knew it freaked him out. It was an idea he'd been thinking of for a few days, though nothing had proved it as well as his last thought.

"Draco I think you should go," Granger said quietly.

"If I said-"

"It doesn't matter, Draco. I know you don't want anything to happen in the future. It's okay; so we want different things. I think we always have,"

"But what if I do?" he asked, wishing she would look at him.

His wish came true as Granger's surprised eyes met his, widening ever so slightly. He hoped his expression was sincere enough to convince her of his words; he knew they were true, but if she didn't believe him then there was nothing he could do to change her mind. "But you-"

"I'm worried about how it will work. Because if we go any further then people will know and-"

"Somehow I think they already do,"

"What?"

"Hannah may have mentioned a few nights ago that she'd seen us holding hands in the early morning,"

"And Potter knows," Draco added.

"And, well, I think some of the professors do as well. Professor Sprout said something to me about it a while ago and I-well, I didn't want to freak you out,"

He shrugged and sighed again. "I don't think very many people will take it well. I don't want them to say anything about you either, and I know they would. That's why I didn't want to do anything else. But..." he trailed off and felt his face go warm again. He was thankful that Granger kept quiet instead of pushing him to continue; if she'd done that he would have snapped at her and that wouldn't have been good. "Granger I don't know how to explain it and I don't plan on doing that. But I don't like the thought of not having you around. I don't like thinking that there's no you when I'm older. So yes I want something to happen. I just want-"

Before Draco could finish his thought she was climbing off the bed and kissing him. Draco didn't know exactly what had inspired her to do that but he definitely wasn't going to complain about it. Her hands were gently holding his cheeks and Draco was absolutely positive that she was smiling. "Thank you," she said quietly. "I know I shouldn't really need that but I just... I wanted to hear it. I wanted to know that there was at least a chance,"

"Why do you need that chance?" he asked, unwilling to take a step away from her.

"Because I-" she stopped quickly, frowning at him. "Draco I just feel like..."

As he listened to her explanation, Draco couldn't help but feel like he wanted to smile. He absolutely refused to, because that would be crossing one too many lines that day, but he still wanted to. And before he knew it they were kissing again, as gentle as usual but a little longer.

That proved to be their mistake.

Just as Draco was beginning to feel like he should pull away from her, there was a loud clatter and a shout of, "Oh shit!"

Granger was the one to jerk away from him, but she kept her face relatively close to his. "Well this is great," she whispered.

"Any chance we can just erase their-" Her expression filled with pain before it quickly became blank. "Shit, Granger, I wasn't thinking," he said quietly. "I'm-sorry,"

"It's fine," she said, nodding slightly. "But I think-"

"What the hell is-" Weasley's angry voice shouted as footsteps approached them.

"Ron, mate, you need to-" Potter started, though his words didn't come fast enough. Granger was quickly yanked away from him and Draco was promptly punched.

"Ronald!" Granger shouted furiously.

"How _could_ you?" Weasley asked furiously, rounding on Granger. She stared at him defiantly, and Draco knew that she would be fine but he was still bothered by how angry Weasley was. "How could you do that? Kiss that bloody Death Eater like it's-"

"Because, Ronald, I have _feelings_ for him and that's what tends to happen!"

Weasley looked as if he were the one who'd been hit. "You-You have-How long?"

"Ron-"

"How long, Hermione?" he asked. "Was it-had it started before you and I-"

"No," she said quickly, her voice genuine and careful not to sound harsh. "No, Ron. Of course I cared about him then because I wanted to be friends, but it was nothing like what I feel now,"

"But how can I be sure?" he asked weakly. Draco almost felt sorry for him, though he honestly didn't feel that bad.

"Because you know me," Granger said, her voice beginning to sound hurt as well. "I would never do that to you. I wanted things to work, Ron, I honestly did but how was I supposed to go on how we were? This was for the best. I-I'm happy. With what's going on between Draco and I. And I'm sorry it upsets you but-" Weasley turned and left the room before she got to finish; his sister went after him immediately.

Potter and Longbottom were staring at him while Lovegood was smiling serenely. That seemed to be a common expression on her face, though Draco was beginning to think that there was a slim possibility that he could get used to it. "Well? Are you two going to be mad at me too?" Granger asked defensively.

He was bothered for a moment that she needed their approval, but Draco chose not to say anything about it. He was a little too busy holding his hand to his cheek and plotting ways to get revenge for the punch. "Honestly I saw it coming," Potter shrugged.

"As long as you're happy, I don't care," Longbottom said. The surprise on Granger's face was obvious. "Really, Hermione, what did you expect us to say? We want you to do what's best for you,"

"Can I have a word, Malfoy?" Potter asked loudly.

To his surprise, Draco nodded and followed Potter out of the hospital wing. "What do you want?"

"Have you told her yet?"

"Told her what?"

"About your trial, Malfoy," He went pink in color. Of course he hadn't forgotten about the trial that would happen after he finished Hogwarts, but it had been in the back of his mind after Granger had screamed. "I'll take that as a no,"

"I'll-"

"You _have_ to tell her," Potter said. "She'll be furious if you don't. It's not like it will change anything anyway, between you I mean. She won't care and she'll probably help you try and build your case,"

"I don't want her to do that," Draco snapped. "I watched what happened to her in third year and I won't allow that to happen for my sake,"

"But she-"

"Drop it, Potter. I'll tell her but it will be on _my_ time and I won't let her do anything that could make her condition worse,"

Draco expected Potter to argue with him and run into the hospital wing to tell Granger everything he didn't want her know. "Just promise me you won't do something to hurt her,"

"I won't," Draco said. The worst part was that despite how much he wanted the words to be true, they would most likely be one of the largest lies he ever told.


	47. Chapter 47

To Hermione's absolute surprise, not a lot changed after her friends found her kissing Draco. She'd expected the news to spread like wildfire through Hogwarts, but none of that happened. She should have known too; not even Ron would reveal something like that to the castle. She was thankful that, despite his anger, he seemed to care about her enough not to share her secrets. However the other secret, her problems after the battle, were currently the most talked about thing in the great hall. In some of the conversations people seemed to pity her, a fact that always made Hermione scowl. In others she could tell that they'd been through the same thing. However it was the rare conversations where people stated that she _deserved_ it that left her confused. She couldn't think of why anyone would deserve the nightmares she had or anything similar. They were awful.

She tried not to let the words bother her too much, as there was probably nothing she could do about them. And if people wanted to think that about her then that was their problem; what mattered was the fact that there were others trying to help her get back to a normal state. That was what she really needed; something normal.

But normal wasn't going to come at the present time. Especially not with the feast that night and the somber mood that had already taken over the castle. It was far worse than when they'd all returned, as not even coming back to the place where the battle took place could be worse than the one year anniversary. Hermione couldn't help but feel dread filling her stomach at the thought of going to dinner that night; she didn't want to see the looks on people's face. It was going to be completely awful and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

She was currently hiding out in a corner of the library, praying that she could studying for the exams in peace. That was one thing she really wanted at the moment; a little peace so she could study. Her friends, with the exception of Ron and Luna, had hardly left her alone as of late unless she was in her own common room. And usually, at that point, she was doing something with Draco because now that they knew Hannah and Terry knew there was something going on, they didn't feel they had to be quite as careful. The only time she actually had alone was in the middle of the night and those were not times she could actually enjoy.

Hermione had snuck away after lunch, after claiming that she needed to use the restroom and that she didn't actually need Ginny to come with her. It was a little ridiculous; sure bad things had happened in the bathrooms at Hogwarts before but there was no Voldemort trying to kill them all this year. The only reason Ginny had wanted to come along was because no one wanted her to be alone. And honestly, Hermione was frustrated that her friends were only just now paying attention to what was going on with her. If they'd noticed earlier than their reactions would be different and they wouldn't be as overprotective as they were now.

Of course, being in the library wasn't really the best place for her to hide. It had always been her favorite spot in Hogwarts and her friends knew that, so when she heard the hushed voices a few isles away she wasn't too surprised. She'd been reading over her Potions notes at the moment so at least she'd gotten something done. Knowing that she only had a few more precious seconds of solitude, Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wanted to remember what this was like, so she could enter the peace in her mind when everything turned awful that night. "Finally! Do you know how long we've been looking for you? Why would you just run off like that?" Harry scolded, kneeling next to her and gathering up her notes. "Hermione you can't do this to running off thing; it's-"

"You know, Harry, last time I checked you were not my father," she muttered angrily, standing up and grabbing her papers from his hands. "I wanted to study and none of you are going to do that with me, are you?"

"You're the only one who still thinks studying is necessary," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "Hermione you've studied for how long? You're a genius, you don't need to work yourself so hard,"

"I am not a-"

"If you're not then no one is," Harry added, smiling. "Come on, why don't we go to the Gryffindor common room? It'll be nice to spend some time together,"

Hermione was incredibly tempted to tell them that spending time together was all they ever did anymore and she didn't need to invade on their time as a couple, but she knew that would result in an argument and arguing with Harry was one of her least favorite things to do. "All right," she said finally, holding back a sigh as she walked with her two friends out of the library. She frowned as she looked back before the doors closed behind them and Hermione was led away from the library. She followed Harry and Ginny to the Gryffindor common room where they settled into chairs by the fire. Hermione knew that the spot used to be her absolute favorite in the common room, though that had certainly changed in the last year. Her new favorite spot in a common room was in front of the sofa in the Delegate's common room. That was where she now usually sat with Draco so it held some of her favorite new memories. And-

"You know you make it really obvious when you're thinking about him," Harry whispered.

"What?" Hermione asked, looking at him and Ginny. Ginny was no longer paying them much attention; she was talking with Neville who Hermione hadn't even noticed sit down.

"I mean maybe I'm wrong, but you smiled a little and I think you tend to do that when you're thinking about him. Malfoy, that is,"

"Harry I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be focused on you and everyone else, and-"

"I never said it was a problem. I was just stating that you're really obvious when you're thinking about him. Maybe you should go find him and-"

"No, I should be here with you. He's busy, anyway,"

"With what?"

"Well Professor McGonagall wants all of us, Hannah, Terry, Draco, and I, to make a speech tonight at the feast. For the battle, you know? I finished writing mine once she told us but Draco's put his off. I think... Well he doesn't think anyone will want to listen to what he has to say so he hasn't tried very hard with it,"

"Why would he think that?"

"Has anyone given him any reason not to?"

"You have," he pointed out.

"Besides me?" The silence that followed gave Hermione her answer. "Exactly. I don't blame anyone, Harry, he did some things that were absolutely awful but..."

"I know what you want, Hermione and I understand why. But it's going to take everyone else some time. Not everyone can forgive as easily as you can,"

She nodded and fell silent, turning to look at the roaring fire. She knew that Harry was right and she just had to be patient for others to see things the way she did, but Hermione Granger had never been the most patient person in the world and she was irritated that it was taking everyone so long. For a while her friends allowed her to sit lost in her own thoughts, though after a while they engaged her in conversation that lasted far longer than Hermione should have let it.

Hermione left about a half hour before the feast to go and change into something a little nicer than her current outfit. She didn't need to wear something fancy but it was a memorial for those that had died so she knew that she had to look a little nicer than she usually did. But only having half an hour before the feast started did mean that Hannah wouldn't force herself upon Hermione's hair like she had at her party, so that was always a plus. Hermione very rarely did anything to her hair, the main exception had been at the Yule Ball, and she absolutely despised having others do it.

Soon enough there were only about ten minutes until the feast started and Hermione knew that she would have to go down to the great hall. The only thing she didn't want to do was go down there alone but it seemed like that would be her fate. With a sigh Hermione walked into the common room, a seemingly permanent frown on her face, only to find the other three waiting for her. Terry and Hannah both looked sad, as Hermione expected she did as well, though Draco mostly looked bored. His eyes met hers for a second before he turned and looked at the door. It became rather obvious that he wanted to be done with the day. "We thought we'd walk down together," Hannah said slowly. "You know, for support. No one should be alone today,"

"Draco-"

"They forced me," he muttered, answering her unasked question. "Otherwise I might have skipped,"

"He's worried about his speech," Terry said, rolling his eyes. "You should have seen him in here working on it earlier. The sheer amount of parchment that got thrown into the fire would have lasted anyone else about a month of notes. In every class,"

Draco's face went a light shade of pink and he glared at Terry. "Do you have to mention _everything_ to her?" he whispered.

Terry shrugged. "Maybe I do, Malfoy. I'm sure you've told her plenty about-"

"Can't you two just be civil for one night? Especially tonight?" Hannah pleaded. "You would think that, knowing what tonight is and how _some_ people in this room have been effected by it, you two could manage some level of-"

"Hannah calm down," Terry said, taking a step toward her.

"No I'm absolutely sick of you two acting like children!"

"Hannah what's-"

"I just want this night to be perfect! I want everyone who's died to be recognized correctly and in a way they deserve!"

"Abbott you do realize that with your planning it _will_ go off perfectly, right?" Draco said suddenly, surprising everyone in the room so much that they turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. "The only thing that will mess it up is my speech so if you could just-"

Hannah stared at him, her mouth hanging open, and for a moment Hermione thought she was going to run over and hug him. But she didn't, she just flashed him a brilliant smile before shaking her head. "Thank you for saying that. But there's no way you're getting out of that speech. If you don't make one then the Slytherins feel left out. We were chosen to represent the houses and make them seem unified. If we leave you out what will everyone think? Anyway, we should go,"

The four left the room and walked slowly to the great hall. Hannah and Terry talked the entire way down and Hermione walked with Draco by her side. She wanted to grasp his hand just so she would feel better but Hermione knew he wouldn't feel comfortable with that. There were a lot of people walking toward the great hall with somber looks on their faces but someone would notice. He was already irritated that her friends knew, even if he hadn't said the words, and she didn't want to upset him.

When they arrived at the great hall and walked through the large doors, Hermione immediately stopped and let the person behind her run into her. There were enlarged pictures of everyone that had died for Hogwarts lining the walls and she'd quickly caught sight of Fred, Remus, and Tonks and a wave of sadness had washed over her. At the front of the hall there were pictures of the rest of the fighters, though those pictures were much smaller and Hermione only really knew what they were because she could see Harry's face with them. Hers was probably somewhere in there as well yet Hermione refused to look for it. She didn't want to see anything about herself from that day.

Draco brushed his fingers against hers quickly and glanced at her, frowning. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

Hermione could only nod before they were separated and she went to sit at the Gryffindor table.

Professor McGonagall spoke first, saying the name of each and every person that had died in the battle and saying everything that actually needed to be said. After that, they ate though Hermione and her friends were completely distracted by looking at all of the pictures. Remus and Tonks' picture was together, as they were a married couple, though that made it very hard to look away. Hermione didn't even eat half of her plate because she kept glancing up before the dessert appeared. She wasn't even that hungry so she just avoided eating for the remainder of the meal. Maybe it was just the fact that she remembered exactly where she'd been a year earlier that made her lose her appetite, or maybe it was something else, but Hermione didn't care enough to figure it out.

Terry and Hannah said very similar things in their speeches and Hermione began to wonder if they'd written them together. It wouldn't surprise her; they'd grown very close since the beginning of the year. And that was, of course, something Hermione was happy about. If it hadn't been for McGonagall's delegate program then they probably wouldn't have talked to each other any more than they'd been in the past. The same would have been true for her and Draco, which made Hermione frown as she realized that. She quite liked Malfoy now and she was glad that had happened.

Her own speech was shorter than theirs, as Hermione didn't want to spend much time speaking in front of the entirety of Hogwarts. She spoke of working together, of accepting one another, and letting go of the past but she could tell that many people weren't really listening to her. She finished quickly and practically ran back to her seat next to Neville. He gave her a sad smile and patted her shoulder. "It was great, Hermione," he said. Her other friends, with the exception of Ron, smiled at her as well and quickly looked up to the front of the room as Draco took his place, scowling at everyone in the hall. His speech consisted of a very angry voice and asking everyone to leave the younger Slytherins alone because they had nothing to do with anything. His speech was the shortest of all.

Hermione didn't go back to her own common room that night, which she whispered as an explanation to Draco as they left the great hall. For the first time that year she spent the night in the Gryffindor common room. Ginny had spent most of the feast in tears as the picture of Fred had been making silly faces at her and Ron all night and it was too much for her to handle. Harry had been more upset about seeing Remus than Hermione had realized. They'd all needed each other that night, and nothing would change that.


	48. Chapter 48

Granger hadn't talked to him in two weeks. Not because they'd fought or she'd done something incredibly stupid like when she'd tried to 'help' him, no, it was because she was so busy studying for their exams that she barely had time for anything else. She made it to the delegate meetings, looking exhausted, and of course she went to classes but the majority of her time was spent in the library. Sometimes Potter and his girlfriend would join her, sometimes Longbottom would be there, but no one could seem to get her to leave. She was far too focused and far too afraid of receiving bad marks which, Draco knew, was completely ridiculous because Granger had the best marks of the entire year. But it was highly likely that she wanted to be the best at everything so she just kept poring over books and expecting something new to pop up.

Being away from her was ruining his mind. He often found himself thinking about her when she wasn't around and wondering exactly how she would take it when he told her about his trial. He didn't know how to bring it up or when the best moment to tell her would be. Was he just supposed to bring it up in the passing moment that he saw her? Was he supposed to write it on a slip of parchment and give it to her during Arithmancy? It had to happen sometime, otherwise Potter would murder him. He kept insisting that Draco tell her and soon so she could figure out how to deal with the news. But Draco was still trying to figure out how to deal with it himself; how was he supposed to try and help Granger do that at the same time?

He was ninety-nine percent sure that he was going to Azkaban for the rest of his life. That's what had happened to his father. And maybe Draco hadn't really killed or tortured people the way his father had, but he'd done things that were most definitely illegal. And he knew they were illegal when he did them, which made it all worse. However he was sure that once he could get used to the idea of spending the rest of his life in that hell-hole then he would be able to tell Granger. Which, he knew, meant that he would never be telling her.

Draco groaned quietly and rubbed his face before trying to once again focus his attention on the textbook in front of him. It was the fifth time that afternoon he'd gotten distracted by thoughts like that and he was starting to get irritated. He would have been even more frustrated if he hadn't started to _enjoy_ thinking about Granger, though when she interrupted his studying he wasn't entirely pleased. Unlike her, Draco actually did need to study to get decent marks on the exams.

"Malfoy?" The quiet voice startled him and he looked in front of him with narrowed eyes. It wasn't often that people just approached him to say something, especially someone he didn't know. And the small boy in front of him wasn't even slightly familiar.

"What?" he snapped, glancing at the Ravenclaw tie and frowning. It was even more rare for someone from another house to approach him. He absolutely hated it when that happened.

"I-I just wanted to ask you something,"

The boy could only be a second year, third year at the most and he looked slightly terrified at the thought of talking to Draco. "Well spit it out then,"

"I-It's just-How did you do it?"

"How did I do what?"

"A-After the war, how did you-I mean was it easy to-Wait, no, I meant-"

He almost felt sorry for the kid about how badly the question was going. Draco sighed and tried very hard to not look so frustrated, hoping that maybe the boy wouldn't look so frightened. "Get it out, I know you can,"

"How did you get along with your parents?" the kid blurted.

Draco blinked, momentarily forgetting himself and letting an astonished expression take over his face. "Why the _hell_ do you want to know that?"

"I-I just-"

"Spit it _out_ kid!"

"I just wanted to know because my parents were the same and I've been avoiding them but now I don't know what I'm supposed to do when we go home for the summer!" he rushed out, his eyes widening slightly. "I-I don't mean to say-"

"How have you gotten through the year with no one figuring this out?"

"They weren't well known or anything. Just-Just small time, just supporters really-they didn't even fight in the battle because they were too afraid and-"

"Just quiet down,"

"But I-"

Draco sighed and gathered his books, putting them all in a bag before standing up and frowning at the kid. "Come on,"

He began walking, not really caring if the kid was following him or not. If he didn't then at least Draco could see the first year Slytherins he'd gotten to know. If the kid did follow then he would get the advice he was looking for. But Draco sure as hell wasn't going to talk to the kid about how to deal with parents. He was absolutely awful at it, for starters, and the younger Slytherins would be able to relate better. Their parents weren't as involved as his had been.

"Wait I can't go in-" the kid said as they approached the Slytherin common room.

Draco rolled his eyes and finally turned to look at him again. "What's your name?"

"My-My name?" Draco nodded as an answer and the boy frowned. "It's Jacob," he mumbled.

"Right, well listen, Jacob. There are some first year Slytherins that will be able to help you a hell of a lot better than I would be able to. I don't speak to my father and my mother and I, well, that's none of your business. Now just wait here and let me get them,"

"Okay," Jacob said, stepping to the side so his back was pressed against the wall. Draco scowled; that was an awful position to be in if he got attacked. Then again the kid-Jacob-probably didn't think like that. Draco, having grown up with parents preparing him to be in the middle of a war, often found himself slipping into that kind of thought. He wouldn't be surprised if Granger, Potter, and anyone else in the battle thought like that too.

Draco sighed and muttered the password to the common room. After the number of times he'd gone to talk to the first years he knew the password like the back of his hand. If he hadn't talked to them, he wouldn't have bothered to learn it. Draco took a step inside and looked around, scowling. Elizabeth and her friends, Draco had problems remembering their names because they all had incredibly similar personalities, were sitting in the corner with books in their laps. "Elizabeth!" he called loudly, watching her head snap up. Draco paused. He knew that one of the boy's names was Daniel, so he called that too and watched another pair of eyes look at him.

Their books were set to the side already and the four first years began to walk his way. "Hello," Elizabeth said brightly, smiling at him. "You called?"

Draco rolled his eyes and frowned at her. He looked to two of the boys, he was sure their names were Marcus and Anthony, whose parents had been Death Eaters as well. "I thought you two would be better at this than I am," he said, his frowning deepening. "There's a Ravenclaw, Jacob, and he needs advice on how to get along with his own parents. His situation is like yours. I thought you'd be better suited to this than I am. And keep it quiet, got it?"

"Of course," the two boys said.

"Well I hope you know that Daniel and I are coming too. What if he's just trying to-" Elizabeth started, but a look from Draco silenced her.

"He's not trying to mess with you guys. If he was he wouldn't have come to me first. And why do you think I called you two as well?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and pulled her friends out of the common room. Draco followed them, wishing he didn't need to be there at that moment, only to see the Ravenclaw he left suddenly surrounded by Slytherins. They were questioning him, about why he was there and what he really wanted. Elizabeth was the first to react, mostly out of surprise, as she stormed over and grabbed the boy's arm. "Hello," she said, in her usual fashion. "He's with _us_ guys, go back to the common room," she said, addressing the Slytherins. Their eyes narrowed and Draco knew they didn't want to leave without their answers. Draco chose that moment to clear his throat and nod his head in the direction of the common room. After a few moments, the Slytherins rolled their eyes and walked away. "Right, well my name's Elizabeth. This is Daniel, and-" She continued introducing her friends as they walked toward a secluded area of the dungeons. "-Not very Slytherin, I know, believe me I've been told. My parents always said I could be too friendly. Then again when you've got to keep an eye over these three," she said, nodding at her friends, "you learn to get along with people you could make an ally out of. Anyway, I hear you're in the same boat as Marcus and Anthony? I don't really know what that's like but they're willing to talk to you and, well, I think Daniel and I are pretty good at-"

"Do I need to stay for this?" Draco asked, his tone bored. He wanted to make sure the younger students were okay, but he was starting to think that Granger had the right idea. He really did need to study.

"I doubt it," Daniel muttered. "You've seen her. She'll make sure everything's okay,"

"Oh shut up," Elizabeth said, frowning at him. "I'm just good at this kind of thing. And I think we'll be okay, actually,"

Draco nodded and turned away, happy to leave and get back to studying. He would go outside this time; there was less of a chance that someone would bother him and he wanted to make some progress. "Hey, um-"

"What?" Draco asked, glancing at the Ravenclaw as he opened his mouth.

"Um, I, um wanted to say thanks for n-"

"Yeah, whatever," Draco shrugged, hurrying away from the younger students.

The remainder of his afternoon was spent sitting outside near an unused door. He didn't want to sit out in the sun but being outside was nice, he thought. And he didn't want to sit on the ground either, so that led to his current position. It wasn't half bad actually; a total of four people passed him int he three hours he spent outside. And the only reason he actually went inside the castle was because it got dark and he hadn't brought his wand with him. Draco was sure he could cast a spell without it, but his eyes were beginning to hurt from staring at notes and textbooks anyway, so he thought it was about time to come inside. Granger would have just kept going, he knew, but he was not Granger.

Draco brought his things back to his room before going to dinner that night. A quick look at the Gryffindor table left him with the sight of Granger's head buried in a book, though Draco wasn't surprised by that. He was fairly certain that every time he saw Granger now she had a book in her face. With that thought in mind he sat at his own table, picking at some food as he once again thought about his trial. It was not a pleasant thing to think about, especially when everyone around him was laughing and enjoying another night at Hogwarts.

He was lost in thought when a small group of people came to sit around him. "Look, we just keep growing," Elizabeth joked as she took a seat next to Draco.

"What are you-" Draco blinked, looking around the group. The Ravenclaw, Jacob, was sitting between Daniel and Marcus looking sheepish. "Oh, right,"

"You're not mad, are you?" he asked nervously.

He shrugged slightly and frowned. "No,"

"Honestly, you had to know it would happen. As if we'd let him go back to sitting alone with the Ravenclaws. He'll benefit us," Anthony muttered.

"You mean he's a friend now," Elizabeth corrected him.

Draco listened to the friends bicker for a few minutes longer before they switched to another topic of conversation. He was pleased, in a way, that the Ravenclaw had gotten his advice and found friends in the process. The first years were good people to be friends with. Draco could even admit to himself that he was starting to care about them too, though in a completely different way than he cared about Granger.

"And we grow again," Elizabeth muttered suddenly, once they were halfway through dinner.

"What are you-" Draco began, but he stopped he realized that Granger was walking toward him. He raised an eyebrow and she flashed him a smile.

"Could I have a word in the corridor?" she asked as she reached him. "Um, Delegate business," she said, glancing at the Slytherins. It seemed as if she was trying to keep her promise of not telling anyone, though he was sure the Slytherins already knew something. Elizabeth tended to know things like that.

"Oh please," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes and pushing Draco as he went to stand up. "We all know you two are practically together; just go have your sn-"

"They're _together_?" Jacob asked in surprise.

"_Yes_ Jacob, keep up!"

"Oh shut up," Draco said, throwing a glare at the first years before following Granger out of the great hall.

As soon as they got halfway to the common room she stopped and stared at him with raised eyebrows. "So, I see you've made a new friend," she stated. "Who was that Ravenclaw?"

"Just some kid, Granger, why?"

"Because I swear, Draco, sitting there with those Slytherins and that Ravenclaw is the closest I've seen you to smiling all year,"

"What on earth are you-"

"How did you meet him?"

"The Ravenclaw? He just asked for some help with something and I thought the first years would be better suited to give him what he wanted,"

"So you just willing helped a kid from another house?"

"I-I guess, Granger, why are you making a big deal about this?" Draco was positive that she was no longer thinking about their agreement to keep whatever they had a secret, because she quickly kissed him in the middle of the corridor without even checking to see if anyone was around. "What was that for?" he asked once she pulled him away.

"Can't I just kiss you?"

"But you never do that without-"

"I'm _proud_ of you, Draco. Don't be upset but you usually wouldn't think twice about helping that boy but you did and, well, I-"

"How did you even see him sitting there, Granger? You weren't looking at anything but your book at dinner,"

"And how did you see that?" she asked cheekily. "Exactly. Now, I really think it would be best if we studied for a few hours in the common room,"

Draco held back the groan he wanted to make at the thought of studying any more; Granger looked excited at the thought and he wasn't going to take that away from her. And that was how Draco found himself sitting on the floor in the common room with Granger by his side until half past eleven that night, studying until his eyes were close to falling shut and Granger forced him to go to his room before she went into her own. All in all, Draco thought as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, it hadn't been _that_ bad of a day.


	49. Chapter 49

Hermione had once again shut herself in the library in an attempt to avoid her friends. They weren't going to take their exams seriously and Hermione needed to study. She knew the basics of what would be on the exams but there were certain charms that she hadn't mastered yet and Hermione needed to do that. She had to master things so she had the best chance of getting an 'O' on each of her exams.

She really didn't mind the studying especially wen she got to sit in the library, because it was one of her favorite places to be. Because of that she stayed there for hours, as it was a Sunday and she had the choice, and the entire time she was looking over her notes for History of Magic. Hermione still wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to go into once she left Hogwarts so she didn't know if History of Magic would be beneficial, but she did enjoy learning about history. And after seven years she still didn't know everything there was to know, so she wanted to continue with the class. Most had dropped it after fifth year, but Hermione was one of about ten students in the class. She liked that as well.

After a while the library began to get stuffy as Madam Pince often refused to open the windows and Hermione wasn't the only person in the room. She didn't feel like dealing with the heat at that moment, so she packed up her notes and left the library. It had been a nice escape for the few hours she'd gotten to spend there, but Hermione knew that she would be fine in her own room or the common room-Hermione shook her head at that thought, her cheeks heating up considerably. Draco had changed in the last few weeks, since starting to have that Ravenclaw hang around him along with the Slytherins, and something made him enjoy kissing her a lot more than he had in the past. Not that she would complain as she enjoyed kissing him too, but it did distract her from studying. And when those events did happen, it was usually in the common room when Hannah and Terry weren't around. Meaning Hermione didn't think going back there when she was trying to study was a good idea, because she had no idea where the other delegates were.

She hurried to her room and spent most of her day sitting underneath the open window, listening to the students on the grounds and studying at the same time. It was actually relaxing, to Hermione's surprise, as she'd been sure the noise would bother her. It was quite the contrary though; the noise made her smile as she listened to the younger kids having fun and it didn't distract her too much.

The only thing that pulled her out of her room was the knock on her door. Hermione had noticed that the chatter from outside had gotten a lot quieter but she'd chosen not to pay attention to that. "Hermione? I know you're in there. Hannah let me in-You've got to go to dinner, Hermione, put your notes down!" Harry said loudly. At first she'd tried to ignore him and pretend like she wasn't in the room at all. She was well aware of where the kitchens were and Hermione knew that she could eat later; she wanted to finish going over her- "_Hermione_, honestly, don't make me come in there,"

"Just a second," she snapped irritably, setting her things aside and standing up. She took a few large steps to the door and yanked it open to find Harry rolling his eyes. "Listen, Harry, I'm going to eat later because I'm not really at a good stopping point in my-Hey!" she said as Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her into the common room and then into the corridor.

"No," he said, leading her toward the great hall. "Hermione you're going to lose your mind in the next two weeks until exams start and we've decided that we'd like to spend one last normal night with you,"

"We?"

"Ginny, Neville, Luna, and I,"

"Right," she said sadly, immediately noticing that Harry hadn't said Ron's name. It had been nearly a month since her friends had learned of her situation with Draco and Ron still hadn't said a word to her. Hermione knew that he felt betrayed because she'd fallen for the person he hated more than anyone else. But what was she supposed to do about that? It wasn't like Hermione was just able to snap her fingers and stop her feelings for him. She could only hope that one day Ron would understand and he would forgive her; she missed him. They'd been best friends for years and their last year of school seemed to have ruined everything; that fact alone made her incredibly sad.

"He'll come around," Harry said quietly as they walked through empty corridors. "He can't stay mad at you forever, you know that,"

"I don't know this time, Harry," Hermione mumbled. "He's so mad; I don't know how to make him feel better about what's happening between Draco and I. And I know that-"

"Hermione are you happy?" Harry interrupted suddenly, making her look at him with raised eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"With Malfoy, are you happy?"

"I-Yes, I am, but I don't see what that has to do with-"

"Then you don't need to do anything to make Ron happy. You're the one that matters in this situation. Ron will get used to it on his own time. And deep down all he really wants is for you to be happy,"

"Are you-"

"Yes, I'm sure," he said, laughing quietly. "Don't worry about that, Hermione. You've got enough on your mind with exams and what's going on with Malfoy,"

Hermione frowned and glanced over at Harry. "What do you mean by that?"

"You-I-" Harry stopped, his face going a red color that only made Hermione grow suspicious. What could Harry know about Draco that she didn't? He got around to telling her everything that was important in time, and Hermione knew that he would never go to Harry before he came to her. "You mean you don't _know_?"

"Know what, Harry?" she asked, her tone angry.

"Shit," Harry swore quietly, his eyes widening. "_Shit_-He's going to kill me,"

"Harry what are you talking about?"

"Hermione I promised him I wouldn't say anything-"

"Damn it, Harry, just tell me!"

"Has-Hasn't Malfoy mentioned anything about what's going on once we're done with school?" he asked, avoiding actually answering her question.

"No, he hasn't," Hermione said, her anger only getting worse and appearing more in her voice. "Harry if you don't tell me right now I swear I'll-"

"He's-He's going to trial, Hermione. He promised me he'd tell you but he hasn't, apparently,"

"Trial for-"

"For what happened during the war," Harry said, nodding slightly. "Hermione I-"

"He's not going to kill you, Harry," she said, remembering his first remark about Draco.

"Hermione you look really angry, I think-"

"Because _I'm_ going to kill _him_-I can't _believe_ he didn't tell me! I can't believe _you_ knew and didn't tell me! Harry when it's things about people you love you _always_ say something! You'd want me to tell you if something like this happens to Ginny, right?"

Instead of answering her question, Harry stared at her in shock. She was getting very sick of him leaving her hanging, but Hermione knew that wasn't the biggest problem. "Did you just say love?"

"What?" she snapped angrily.

"Hermione you just said _people you love_, like you love-"

"I meant care," she said, horrified at the word she'd let slip. She was sure she didn't love Draco at the moment; maybe someday but it was too soon for a word like that. "Honestly, Harry, I was just angry and it slipped out. I did mean to say people you care about,"

"You know I wouldn't be mad if you did mean love,"

"But I don't, so it doesn't matter,"

"Right, well, if you could just pretend that I never mentioned anything that would be great because I don't want him coming after me,"

"Harry?"

"What?"

"You know that's not going to happen," she stated before she began walking quickly to the great hall. Hermione wasn't entirely sure what she would do when she saw Draco again but she did know that there would be a rather large fight. She couldn't believe he hadn't told her himself; he knew that something like that was something she would want to know about. Hermione didn't know how long he'd known about his trial but she did know that there was a lot of wasted time. She could have been researching similar trials so she could have helped with his defense. She would have focused on that above her exams, something Hermione couldn't say about anything else. She'd always wanted to prepare for exams despite any adventures she'd had with Harry and Ron and now she was prepared to throw that all away to make sure Draco didn't end up in Azkaban.

Hermione glanced at the Slytherin table once she arrived in the great hall, though the small look told her that Draco wasn't at dinner yet. With a heavy sigh she walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. She put food on her plate, of course, though she didn't eat a lot of it. She mostly stabbed at the food on her plate and stared at the doors with a furious expression on her face. For a while she didn't say anything despite her friend's attempts to lure her into conversation. Ginny even tried to talk to her about studying, but Hermione no longer cared about that. What she cared about was the fact that Draco could be going to Azkaban after Hogwarts and he hadn't even bothered to tell her.

When her friends were about halfway through dinner, the doors to the great hall opened and Draco walked in with the younger students he'd grown close to surrounding him. The sight almost made her smile because she was incredibly proud of him for making those connections and caring about the younger students, but one thought of how Sirius had looked after Azkaban had her fuming once more. He glanced in her direction and raised an eyebrow when he saw her expression. But he kept walking toward his table.

Hermione didn't make it very long after he'd walked into the room before she stood up and began walking over to him. He looked about ready to sit down at the table but stopped when he saw her coming. "Grang-" he began as she reached him.

He couldn't even finish saying her name; Hermione had pulled her fist back and punched him in the nose. "How _dare_ you!" she shouted, shaking her hand. She was sure it hadn't hurt as much when she'd punched him in third year, but his nose had done a number on her hand. "I can't _believe_ you would do this!"

"What the hell, Granger?" Draco yelled, holding his nose and glaring at her. Hermione noticed a bit of blood begin to trickle out of his nose and for a moment she felt guilty, but once again the thought of Azkaban made her anger resurface.

"I could _kill_ you, do you realize? You've no idea the _pleasure_ it would bring me to start hexing you right here and I swear if you-"

"Miss Granger!" Professor McGonagall shouted, interrupting her rant. Hermione stopped, turning to glare at her favorite teacher. "What on earth do you think you're doing? My office, now! Both of you!"

They walked to her office in complete silence, though Hermione didn't lose any of her anger. There was a scowl on her face the entire time, which was unusual for her. Once they reached the office, Professor McGonagall forced them both to sit down in chairs before she began yelling at Hermione for her display of violence. At the same time she was clearing the blood off Draco's face and glancing at his nose. It wasn't broken which Hermione knew she should be thankful for, but she was beginning to wish that it was. Hermione wasn't just angry about the fact that Draco hadn't told her, she was hurt to. And what hurt almost as much was the fact that he wasn't even the one who had told her, it was Harry.

"So, Miss Granger, I would like to know why you would ever chose to display such horrid behavior in the middle of the great hall. Explain, now,"

"Because he's an absolute ass and I-"

"Miss Granger, language!"

"Oh whatever!" she snapped, feeling awful for being disrespectful to the older witch but not caring enough to correct her behavior. "Honestly, Draco, don't you think you should _mention_ the fact that you're going to trial?"

His mouth fell open and surprise took over his face. He obviously had no idea what had made her so angry until that moment and he did not seem pleased that she knew. "How do you-Potter," he snarled, his eyes narrowing and his fists clenching as he looked at her.

"No don't you dare get angry; you have no right to be angry about this. You don't even have the decency to tell me about this when you know how I feel about you and how I'd obviously want to help and-"

"Granger shut up!"

"No! How long have you know?"

"Granger can we not-"

"_How long you have you known_?" she asked shrilly, well aware that she was beginning to lose control of herself.

"Maybe a month or two,"

"Which one is it?"

"Closer to two," he mumbled.

Hermione had the strong urge to punch him again but she managed to stay still. "Two months?"

"Granger I-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to tell you and try and help you learn to deal with it when I can't even deal with it myself, Granger? Honestly, I'm _sorry_ that I didn't tell you but I can barely handle this on my own and I don't know how you expect me to try and help you through it!"

"Draco-"

"And I wasn't going to sit around and watch you turn into some sleepless zombie like you did in third year-I wasn't going to sit around and watch that happen to you again!"

"How do you know what happened in third year?"

"Please, Granger, I wasn't blind,"

"But you-"

"Of course I saw you, Granger. At that point in time it was my goal to make your life miserable; I knew what was going on with you,"

"Harry and Ron didn't know,"

"Excuse me?"

"Harry and Ron didn't know, not for a while anyway, but you _knew_?"

"I-"

"And your reason for not telling me was-"

"Granger we've been over this,"

She hesitated for a few seconds before she nodded. "Fine,"

"Fine what?"

"Fine, I accept it, I accept that you didn't tell me and I'm absolutely furious but I... I want to help you, Draco, just tell me how I can help,"

"Granger I don't need your help,"

"You don't exactly have a choice in the matter,"

"What about your studying, Granger? That's all you've been doing lately; how are you supposed to study for your exams and try and help me?"

Hermione paused again, frowning at him. He must not know very much about her because despite how much she adored school and everything related to that, but her friends were always more important. "Screw the exams," she said, watching Professor McGonagall and Draco look at her in surprise. "You've no idea how much more important you are to me than those exams. I-I'm sure I'll be fine. I have studied a lot lately, I-I'm sure I'll be okay,"

"Granger I refuse to ask you to do that,"

"You're not asking,"

"But there's no reason why-"

"Yes, there is,"

Once they were dismissed from the office, Hermione with two detentions in the following week, they walked to the common room in near silence. The only sounds were the occasional apology of Hermione for punching him. She hadn't been that angry at Draco since they were in third year, and she was surprised that she'd gotten there again. She'd promised herself that she would never get to that point again and yet here she was.

They got back to the common room only to find it empty. Hermione couldn't tell if Hannah and Terry were back from dinner and just hiding out or if they were still eating but there was no real way for her to know. She looked to Draco, who looked conflicted and kept his eyes away from her. "Draco I really am sorry for punching you," she said quietly. "I was angry and I was hurt that you hadn't told me but I didn't know your reasons. I understand, I do, and I'm sorry,"

"It doesn't matter," he said, glancing toward his door. "I didn't want you to find out this way,"

"Harry feels very bad about letting it slip; I think he thought I already knew,"

Draco rolled his eyes and frowned, finally looking at her. "I don't care about Potter,"

"Right, I knew that,"

"Granger, can I ask you something?"

"Of course,"

"What happens if I do get sent to Azkaban?" he asked, a tired sound to his voice that clued Hermione in to how much he'd actually been worrying about the trial. "I understand that I'll be in Azkaban and rotting in prison like I probably should be but I mean-I-I want to know what you're going to do,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I know we have, well, _something_ going on between us. I just want to make sure that you're not going to sit around waiting for something to happen if I get out,"

"I'll have you know I would never just sit around waiting for a guy," she said slowly, offering him a cheeky smile that quickly melted off her face. "Secondly, I don't think, if you do go, that you'll go for very long,"

"But I-"

"Draco?"

"What?"

"I care about you, you know that. I can't even remmeber the number of times I've told you that. I won't give up what I feel unless you want it to stop or something completely insane happens. If we chose to have whatever we are go any further and lead to something outside of Hogwarts then I'm not going to just stop trying because you're gone for a period of time. There are plenty of other things I can do to occupy my time instead of sitting around and waiting for you,"

To her surprise Draco quickly pulled her into a tight hug. Hermione held him for a moment before stepping back. She wanted to say something else, something about how she really did want whatever they were to continue, but he quickly turned away and locked himself into his room. Hermione raised an eyebrow at the reaction before going to her own room. Starting the next afternoon she would be looking for information on trials for those who commited crimes when they were underage. Hermione was well aware of what Draco had done. That didn't change the fact that she didn't want him in prison.


	50. Chapter 50

Since he was seven years old, Draco Malfoy had only allowed himself to break down in tears five times. The first being when he was eight and his grandmother had passed away. The next time was when he was just sixteen years old and he'd been forced into becoming a Death Eater. Later that year was time number three and Potter had walked in then. The fourth time, and the time he absolutely refused to acknowledge even existed, was the night Granger had been tortured and then escaped from his home. And the fifth time, the one Draco would forever deny, happened right after Granger had said those words. He'd absolutely adored those words; they'd touched a place in him that Draco hadn't even known existed.

They meant that she would stick around. When things got hard and others would give up on him and walk away, she would stay. And the only other constant in Draco's life was his mother; his friends had all found it easy enough to walk away from him. He'd pushed them away the same way he'd done to Granger yet she had _stayed_. Once he'd understood the meaning of the words, he'd only been able to hug her before rushing off to his room so she wouldn't see his eyes get watery.

Which led to his current situation. He was sitting with his back against his door, silent tears falling quickly from his eyes as he furiously tried to wipe them away. He absolutely hated Granger for doing this to him. Draco despised crying, hence why he'd only done it five times in nearly twelve years. And he didn't know how to stop either because every thought led to Granger and she was the source of the problem. Thinking of her only got him going again.

It took another half an hour after that thought before he'd calmed down enough to peek out into the common room. It was empty but Draco could see light coming from the bathroom. "Damn it," he swore quietly. That was where he'd wanted to go. Draco knew that if he splashed cold water on his face he wouldn't look like he'd been crying and then he could sit in the common room without running the risk of Boot, Abbott, or Granger asking questions. Instead of just waiting around for the bathroom to become empty, he hurried out of the common room and went to the boy's bathroom two floors down, trying his hardest not to be seen. It wasn't what he needed at that moment, to be seen by someone with eyes red from crying.

To his luck the bathroom was empty. Draco practically ran to the sinks and turned on the faucet when there was a cough from behind him. "You know, we've been here before,"

Draco let loose a nasty swear word at the sound of Potter's voice. "What the hell do you want?" he asked, well aware of the thick sound of his voice.

"Are-Are you good?"

"Good at what, Potter? Hexing? I'm brilliant at it, so unless you want-"

"I meant are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine, not that it's any of your business," he muttered. Maybe Potter hadn't meant to spill his secret about the trial to Granger, but that didn't change the fact that he had. Draco probably would have cursed him by now if Potter didn't mean so much to Granger and Granger didn't mean so much to _him_.

"What happened with you and Hermione?"

Draco lowered his head. Potter couldn't see his face from their current position but on the off chance that he did cry again, Draco didn't want to take any chances. "Nothing bad. We're fine," His voice shook slightly.

Potter let out a long sigh of relief. "_Good_," he managed to say. "That's really great, Malfoy. She was so mad and I'd worried I'd ruined things between you two. I thought I'd have to beg the both of you to get back together,"

"You're rooting for us now?"

"Malfoy I've been rooting for you two ever since I realized it was a thing."

"But-" he began, shocked at the statement.

"I mean I honestly hated the thought of you two even becoming friends when I first found out. Because even though it wasn't my life, I was terrified that you were going to take advantage of her or hurt her,"

"You do realize I'm not exactly a monster, right?"

"Never said you were, mate,"

"We are not _mates_,"

"Give it time," Potter smirked. "You wanted to be friends once; we could always try again,"

"Don't be ridiculous," Draco snapped, turning to look at him. But Potter's expression was sincere, for a moment, though it quickly changed to surprise.

"I thought you said nothing bad happened!"

"Potter-"

"Why is it that every time I find you in a damn bathroom you've been crying?"

"I-"

"Seriously, what happened? You two make each other so happy; you can't just give up and cry!"

"That's not what I'm doing!" Draco protested, his eyes narrowing.

"Then what's going on?"'

"She just said something and it-it got to me," he admitted. Draco quickly decided that was enough talking and he closed his mouth as his face warmed. He turned around at that moment and finally splashed the cold water on his face that he'd come looking for.

"What did she say?" Potter asked curiously.

"Again, none of your business," Draco muttered.

"You know she is my best friend and I could always ask her if I wanted to,"

"As if she'd actually tell you,"

"You'd be surprised at how much she does," Potter said, grinning slightly. Draco's cheeks grew warm at the though; what if Granger had mentioned something to him? Draco would be furious if that was the case; she'd promised not to mention what happened between them. A rush of panic hit him full force at the thought before he remembered that Potter already knew about them kissing; he'd walked in on it. "I mean she doesn't usually talk about you two but I'm sure if I asked she would,"

Draco scoffed and tried not to show how uncomfortable the idea of Granger talking about them made him. "Right. Whatever, Potter. Well, I should go-"

"Okay one more question," Potter interrupted.

"What?" Draco snapped. He was sick of the questions; he'd calmed down enough that he could go sit in the common room and that was exactly what he wanted to do.

He hesitated and frowned, glancing away from Draco before meeting his eyes. "Are you ashamed of her?"

"_What_?" he asked again, furious at the question. "No I'm not bloody _ashamed_ of her,"

"Then why don't you guys to anything publically?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean your entire relationship takes place behind closed doors. It just seems like you-"

"I don't want anyone to bother her and I know they would if they found out,"

"So you really do want to protect her, then,"

There was a small pause before Draco nodded. "Yes. And if you mention that to anyone then I will hex you,"

"I wouldn't dream of it," Potter said, offering Draco a smile. Draco rolled his eyes before walking past Potter and into the corridor. Draco was half surprised Potter didn't follow him and ask more irritating questions, but he was thankful at the same time. Potter being friendly and civil had shaken him, and Draco didn't know what to think about it. The only time he and Potter had acted civily toward each othe was when Granger was involved but now she wasn't there and Potter had come about him, not her. At least not really. He was confused by the action and he didn't know why Potter had done it but there was no way he was going to ask. Draco would be content if he never had to talk to Potter again, though he doubted that would be the case if he stuck around Granger for too long.

Draco spent the rest of his night, before the midnight curfew set by McGonagall, in the common room with his Transfiguration textbook in his lap. He was trying to understand one of the spells McGonagall had said would be on the exams. He knew that he could have asked Granger for help because there was no doubt she was sitting awake in her room, but Draco didn't want to bother her and go back to his pitiful behavior from earlier that night. Then again if he really did need help... "No," he muttered, hoping Boot and Abbott wouldn't notice. They'd come into the common room at some point, though Draco never took note of it until he heard them talking. He was in his chair, he didn't want any distractions, and the only one brought upon him was when they began discussing the benefits of different spells in defense situations.

When midnight did hit, Draco sighed and went to his room. He knew that McGonagall would come storming into the common room if he didn't get to his own room quickly and he did not feel like dealing with her at the moment. Abbott actually bid him a quiet good night, and Boot made a sound that could possibly have been his own version. Draco caught Abbott's eyes and nodded slightly, which made her smile.

Ever since McGonagall had made her rule about Granger and himself not being able to meet in the common room Draco hadn't been sleeping well. Not that he was sleeping brilliantly before the rule, but at least he'd been able to calm himself long enough to get to sleep because he knew he would be seeing Granger soon. And now he had a full six and a half hours before he would be able to talk to her and make sure she was all right. That thought always left him sleeping fitfully and waking up at small noises that he thought could be Granger's spells letting her screams come through. And Draco absolutely hated those screams; he dreamed about them enough and hearing them break through on occasion, as quiet as they were, took a toll on him. And so his sleep was awkward and interrupted when Boot and Abbott went to bed or someone decided to wake up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom.

He did manage to fall asleep around two that morning. He hadn't heard anything from Granger's room since he'd gone into his room so he'd assumed that she'd either put up fresh spells or she was okay for the time being. Draco was exhausted and as his eyes closed he thought it was slightly ridiculous, what he was doing, but he cared about Granger too much to just stop.

He woke to silence and gentle sunlight streaming in through his window. The curtains had been parted slightly as Draco found the sunlight hitting him in the face a rather good wake up call. With a groan he looked at the clock, knowing that it could only be about six thirty in the morning so he hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. It was only a second after rolling out of bed and almost falling onto the floor that a loud pounding sounded on his door. "Leave me alone!" he groaned, rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up. Draco had no desire to have company at this time of morning; he was irritable about what had happened the previous night and the little amount of sleep he had and Draco didn't want to take out his frustrations on whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Draco!"

He panicked. In the back of his mind Draco was aware that Granger's voice didn't sound upset or anything similar to that, but it had been a long time since she'd come banging on his door and yelling his name. And so he stumbled over, throwing the door open and looking at her with concerned eyes before he saw that she was smiling. "Damn it," he swore quietly. "What?"

"I slept,"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it wasn't the entire night, but it was _five_ hours, Draco. I fell asleep around eleven and I woke up just before four. I mean sure there was still a nightmare and I still woke up screaming but-"

"Granger calm down," Draco said, a smile almost creeping up on his own face. He knew why she was so excited and she had every right to be excited; it had been nearly a year since she'd gotten five whole hours of sleep. The longest he could remember her sleeping for was four hours, and the extra hour had to have done her some good. She looked ever so slightly more alert than she did on normal days and of course the smile on her face made it even more evident how good she was feeling.

"Calm down? How could I possibly-" Draco kissed her quickly so she would stop talking. It was probably rude of him, but after just waking up the excitement and loud volume of her voice was making his head start to ache. "Okay," she muttered as he pulled away. "That may have worked,"

"I'm happy for you, Granger," he said quietly.

"Thank you,"

He nodded and for a moment they just stood there silently. Eventually though Draco cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. "I should probably go take a shower," he stated.

"Right," Granger said, shaking her head slightly. "I just wanted to tell someone because I was excited and, well, you were the best option,"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I didn't complain, Granger, I just need to get ready,"

"I'll see you in class then," she said before she turned around and began to walk away. "Oh!"

"What is it now?"

"Could you meet me in the library after classes today?"

"Why?"

"I thought it would be obvious. We're going to start researching cases similar to yours for your trial,"

His face warmed quickly before he nodded. "Yeah, fine," he muttered, avoiding her gaze. "I'll be there," With one last smile from Granger she walked off and Draco sighed heavily. He didn't want to work on his trial; he hadn't even wanted Granger involved with it. But there was no way he would make her work on it alone or stand her up; if she was going to help him then Draco planned on helping her.


	51. Chapter 51

Hermione was absolutely exhausted. True she was getting a little more sleep each night and her nightmares weren't quite as bad since she'd started talking to the woman Professor McGonagall set her up with, but with studying for exams, doing research to help Draco, and the exams themselves Hermione felt like she was going back to getting almost no sleep. Draco had noticed, of course, and told her to stop worrying about him. Hermione had responded with a cold glare-he hadn't mentioned it since. To her surprise Harry had noticed as well, and he'd told her to focus on helping Draco. He'd gotten a hug and a quick refusal for his words. Hermione didn't know exactly what had changed in Harry's mind to make him okay with her and Draco being, well, whatever they were, but she was grateful for it. She didn't need her friend's approval of what she was doing, but Harry's support was greatly appreciated.

Nothing had ever been more important than exams, other than the previous year when they'd fought Voldemort. But now building a case for Draco was often the first thing on her mind. And she'd searched through so many history books looking for an answer that she was sure she'd passed the History of Magic N.E.W.T. with flying colors. And then some, most likely.

Hermione sighed heavily and opened another book. She was in the library once again-though honestly it was the best place to be-and there was a large stack of books beside her. Half were about the Wizengamot and the other half were on Charms. The exam was only two days away and Hermione needed to be prepared. She'd reviewed with Draco a few nights ago, as that was the one exam he was excited for, though she'd quickly became irritated that he was hardly giving his answers any thought and _still_ getting them right. Draco noticed, he always seemed to when she was upset, and changed the format so he was quizzing her. On the off chance she missed a question he would remember and ask her again twenty questions later. And in between sets of twenty he would kiss her gently; Hermione was sure that was her favorite part.

The sudden memory of the incredibly relaxed night with Draco unsettled her for a moment and she stopped to close her eyes and try to force it out of her mind. Thinking about things like that were _not_ going to help with her research and her notes. When her mind was once again clear, she reopened her eyes and focused on the page, reading about a trial from about two hundred years ago. The circumstances and details weren't exactly the same, but if she could draw some kind of connection then it might help. When she showed Draco the information she'd gathered he would say it was useless, but Hermione didn't want to stop collecting anything. She'd seen people after Azkaban; she refused to see Draco like that as well.

The sound of chairs scraping and people dropping into them irritated her immensely. Yet she didn't look up; there was only one person who would interrupt her studying like this. "Harry I really don't have time for whatever this is,"

"Flattering, that you think I could be the Boy Who Lived,"

Her head snapped up to see a group of young students around her. "Elizabeth!" she exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. Around Elizabeth were her three friends from Slytherin, two Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff, and two more Gryffindors that looked irritated, possibly because there weren't enough chairs and they had to stand. "What do you need?"

"We have a plan,"

"Okay?"

"Will you help with it?"

"That depends on what the plan actually is,"

"You'll love it, Granger," sounded from behind her and Hermione turned around to see an almost smiling Draco. "You're in my chair, Elizabeth," The younger girl hurried to sit on the table and Draco sat down next to Hermione.

"And how would you know that?"

"Because I know the plan. They came to me first and I told them to tell you as well. I suppose they could have gone to Boot or Abbott instead, but I know they'll agree to it and I like you better so I wanted you to hear about it first,"

His face went a shade of pink as he realized what he said, though he didn't get the time to correct it. "How sweet," the Hufflepuff said, rolling his eyes. For a moment Hermione was reminded of Zacharias Smith and she was sure the younger boy was related to him. But then again the young boy didn't look anything like him and he had to be nicer than Zacharias.

"Oh hush, Henry, it _was_ sweet," Elizabeth said.

"Get to the plan, Elizabeth," Draco muttered, avoiding looking at Hermione for the time being.

"Of course," she said, her face growing serious. "So, I was thinking a few weeks ago that the programs you guys have started have been pretty decent. I mean they're helping people and bringing them together, which is the point of you, right?"

"Right," Hermione nodded, a small frown appearing on her face.

"But anyway, the programs aren't for us,"

"You don't like them?"

"I mean I'm sure they're fine," Elizabeth said quickly. "But they're not for kids like us. The younger ones. We weren't really involved in the battle, so what are we getting out of it?"

"Nightmares," one of the Ravenclaws muttered. She blushed as she realized she'd said the words out loud but the other Ravenclaw next to her, Hermione recognized him as Jacob, patted her shoulder.

"Sorry, Shelia," Elizabeth said quietly, turning to offer the other girl an apologetic smile. "Right. I think it's done that to all of us, really. Anyway, so my plan is that you guys have to create a group for only the younger kids. And it can't be one of those _share your feelings_ groups because everyone is going to get sick of those. The thing is, if you want us to get along and have all that house-unity stuff then we actually have to like each other and get along. I'm not saying everyone's all best friends, but we can try, right?"

"That sounds really smart, actually," Hermione said, her smile growing. "You guys could study together or-"

"Calm it with the studying, Granger," Draco groaned.

"No, she's right!" Jacob said excitedly. "Studying together could be brilliant. If someone's stuck on something they could have entire support system to help them out!"

"We could have the best collective marks in _years_!" the other Ravenclaw, Sheila, added.

"I actually agree with that. I mean help with school could be nice," a Gryffindor piped up. Hermione had no idea who the kid was, but she was happy he'd decided to speak.

"And we could mentor the kids that come after us," the Hufflepuff smiled.

"We could have game-day Saturdays where we play Exploding Snap and-Oh! We could introduce you guys to muggle games!"

"We could be like bloody superheroes when there are younger kids!"

"Why in the world would we want to be like superheroes?" one of the Slytherin boys asked.

"You pureblood kids have so much to learn," one of the Gryffindors muttered. "Elizabeth do you need us? I want to go teach Anthony all about superheroes,"

"Have at it," Elizabeth said, amusement clear on her face.

"W-Wait, Elizabeth, I-" the Slytherin sputtered, his face going pale.

"Come on, mate, I don't bite! Now, have you or have you not heard of Superman?"

"_What does that even mean_?"

The two boy's conversation fell away as they left Hermione's table. She couldn't help but let out a chuckle and the younger students followed her lead almost immediately. "I'd better go save him," the other Gryffindor laughed. "Ben can be absolutely insane about his silly superheroes," With that the other boy walked off, making Elizabeth smile.

"See? We've been spending a bit more time together and it's already working,"

"What do you think, Granger?" Draco asked quietly. "I say we bring it to McGonagall at the next meeting, get it known what they're doing so others can join. I doubt we can change the way the older students are thinking, but maybe the younger ones can make a difference,"

Hermione had the strong urge to kiss him at that moment, but she quickly decided against it. Draco would be furious if she did that in front of people, especially the first years he'd grown close with and worked so hard to impress. "I think it's brilliant," she said eventually, a large smile growing on her face. "I'm really proud that you thought of doing this. It honestly wouldn't have crossed my mind,"

Elizabeth smiled and promptly stood up. "Right then. Thank you. I wasn't sure if the others would go for it if it was just Draco suggesting it, but with you on board I've no doubt. Come on, everyone, let's leave Granger to her studying. You know she can't go five minutes without a book these days,"

The younger students all left the library, chatting quietly to one another as they went. "I hope they stay in touch throughout the summer. It's close to the end of the school year so they can't do much with the idea now, but it's a lovely idea for next year," Hermione smiled.

Draco nodded and put his elbows on her book, gazing out the window with a blank face. "Why don't we put the books away and do something, Granger?" he suggested suddenly, his eyes still nowhere near her.

"Draco," she said slowly. "You know I have a lot of things to do right now. I can't just go off. I'm working on research for you and I switch to studying for the rest of our exams each hour. I'm happy to listen to them for a few minutes but I can't-"

"Granger I told you to stop looking for things that have to do with my trial. I don't need your help, nor do I want it," Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled a new book toward her, opening it and beginning to flip to a chapter on trials of young wizards. For a few seconds she got to read the page, though the book was quickly ripped out of her hands. "You're running yourself into the ground, Granger," he said softly.

"No I'm not,"

"_Yes_, you are. And you're either going to stop this madness or-"

"It's not madness, Draco, I'm just trying to save you from-"

"Granger I don't need to be saved,"

She looked at him, frowning, though she knew it was true. That didn't prevent her from wanting to help him. "Then what's my other alternative?"

"You take a damn break, for tonight, and we do something,"

"Draco,"

"Granger," he said mockingly.

There was a pause and Hermione considered her options. She knew it could be nice to take a break from the work so her eyes would stop hurting, but she wasn't a big fan of that solution. "It's sweet of you to want to make sure I'm okay, but I really do need to keep going with this,"

He groaned loudly and watched as she took the book back from him and began searching through it. After about ten minutes of staring at her and, Hermione thought, willing her to put the books down, Draco picked up a book as well and began looking through it.

They sat in the library for another two hours, until dinner was long done and they'd stopped working on the trial to begin studying for Arithmancy. After a while of looking at the textbooks, Draco began complaining that they already knew everything they were going over. Hermione wasn't surprised by that as he tended to complain when he was bored, but it did make her realize that it would be a good idea to leave the library. She would have been content to stay there until it was time to return to the common room but at the same time she felt bad about Draco sitting with her all night. "I think that's enough for today," she said, finally shutting the book in front of her.

"Took you long enough," Draco muttered, standing up and grabbing some books from her stack. They each took a stack and walked away before meeting back at the table. "You do realize we skipped dinner, right?"

"It was worth it, I think. We found some valuable information in those books. Some will help you and really, I found some things I didn't know about Arithmancy," she stated, offering him a small smile.

He rolled his eyes and nodded toward the door of the library. "Shall we then?"

"Of course. I should get to sleep if I want to get up early in the morning and look at the Potions notes I-"

"We're not going back to the common room, Granger. At least not right now,"

"Then where are we going?"

"The kitchens. As I said, we both missed dinner,"

Hermione rolled her eyes and followed him down to the kitchens. The walk was filled with quiet chatter about exams and which questions Hermione was worried about having missed. Harry and Ron had always told her not to talk about them, but Draco listened and told her that her answers would be fine. He was rolling his eyes the entire time, sure, but Hermione could handle that.

The night, until it was time to go back to the common room, was actually quite pleasant. They ended up in the Room of Requirement as it was about the only private place in the castle besides the Astronomy tower. Unless it was class Draco tended to avoid that part of the castle like it was the plague, so it was silently decided that the Room of Requirement would do just fine.

They ate sitting on the floor in front of a sofa that resembled the one in their common room and neither mentioned that fact. Draco had been the one to walk in front of the stretch of wall where the door would be located and they'd agreed to think of a place that made them happy. Hermione was thrilled that was his place, as she was starting to think it would have been hers too.


	52. Chapter 52

For the first time in a very long time, Draco Malfoy could say that he was completely happy. Well, maybe not completely but he was close enough. The only thing that was ruining his mood was the trial that was coming up a lot faster than he expected it to and the fact that when it was over, he would most likely be ripped away from Granger. But that was mostly covered up by the amount of time he was currently spending with Granger, his first years, and the exams that had just finished a few days ago. He was currently with one of those distractions, and that fact thrilled him. Draco found that spending time with the first years, even the expanding group of them, made him almost as happy as being with Granger made him. So, sitting with Elizabeth and one of the Gryffindors, Ben, and helping them compile a list of activities for their group meetings the next year delighted him. Not that he planned on admitting that.

So far Draco hadn't been incredibly helpful, but he was content to just sit with the two students on the grounds and listen to their chatter. He was working on a letter to Blaise, explaining what was going on with Granger and their situation. Draco had decided when he wrote Blaise that first time that he could allow himself to reach out to one old friend, and Blaise had been his pick. Maybe it was because he'd been the least crazy out of all of them or because he seemed to have his life together now, but Draco didn't actually care. It was nice to have a friend outside of Hogwarts, someone that could truthfully tell him what it was like for everyone else. And according to Blaise, it was awful.

But Draco was happy. Sure it was the last day of the school year, his last day at Hogwarts, but he was happy. The first years were getting along and figuring out a way to improve their lives during the school year and create friendships that would last. Granger seemed to have a huge weight lifted off her shoulders since exams finished. She still worried a lot about what her scores would be and about his trial, but overall she seemed much happier. And he definitely preferred the happy Granger he was seeing now to the stressed one he'd been observing before. Things just felt right when she was happy; when she wasn't Draco immediately felt worse as well.

The longer he sat that afternoon with the first years the more came and joined. First it was Jacob, though Draco wasn't surprised because Jacob seemed to adore Elizabeth. Then it was the Hufflepuff that Draco didn't know the name of. After that the rest of the Slytherins joined them with the other Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw, Sheila, with them. Another few minutes later a few other young looking students joined them. Along with them came Granger, who was chatting animatedly to a Ravenclaw that Draco didn't know the name of. But he didn't know the name of a lot of students, so that didn't really surprise him.

They continued, each one throwing out more and more ideas until they had a list long enough to last the entire year and possibly a few meetings into the next year. Draco was proud of them all for their suggestions as they seemed to be halfway decent. Draco wished, momentarily, that he'd had the same opportunity but there was no going back now.

He was sitting to the side with Granger, not really paying much attention anymore since Granger was pressed up against his side and watching the younger students with a sad expression on her face. "I can't believe we're almost done," she whispered suddenly, obviously trying not to attract the attention of the first years. "It can't have been that long ago that we were just like them, right?"

"A couple of years," he shrugged. "After everything that's happened I would think you would be excited to be done,"

"And leave this?" she asked, gesturing at the castle and the grounds. "I almost wish I could do seventh year again,"

"Take it from someone who's done it twice, Granger, you really don't,"

She laughed quietly and rolled her eyes. "You've never loved school the way I do,"

"Honestly I don't think anyone has,"

Draco fought the urge to smile as she shook her head sadly at his words. Then again Granger was sad every time someone hated school, so he shouldn't have been so amused by that fact. "Hey, lovebirds," the Gryffindor, Ben, called with a large grin on his face.

"Oh shut up, you!" Elizabeth said, struggling to hold back a laugh. "They want to keep their incredibly obvious relationship a secret, so let them!"

"But I want to know-"

"Ben, they're done with school after today. They don't care about anything anymore," the Hufflepuff said, rolling his eyes.

"Correction-We do care about you guys and what you'll be doing," Granger said loudly, earning a round of smiles from the first years.

"Correction-_She_ cares about you and what you'll be doing," Draco said. To that the Slytherins laughed along with Jacob. The others looked confused for a second before they smiled nervously and chuckled as well.

"Very funny," Granger said, shoving his shoulder. "Are you okay if we go for a walk?"

"I guess that's okay," Draco muttered, standing up and brushing the dirt off his clothes. Granger stood up as well and waved to the younger students, who shouted their farewells as Draco led Granger away from the group. Their walk, which led them around the grounds and the Black Lake, consisted mostly of Granger walking him through everything she'd found to try and make a plan for what was going to happen at his trial. It was still a few days away but she wanted everything solidified. He was actually very surprised that she hadn't tried to write to his mother to talk about what she'd found.

Draco ended up in the common room once they'd parted ways, and Granger had gone to find her friends and see if they'd finished packing their things. Draco had always known they weren't organized but he hadn't ever known exactly how much they needed Granger. He should have known though, they always tended to rely on her. He had to finish packing himself. Most of what was left in his room were a few books that he'd thrown around after a long night of studying with Granger. All he had to do with those was figure out some way to fit those into his trunk and then he would be good.

It wasn't long afterwards that he finished packing. Draco wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with the rest of his day so he decided to walk back to the common room and sit down in the chair he'd originally claimed as his. He hadn't really sat there in a while, as most of his nights had been spent sitting on the floor with Granger, but he had nothing better to do and Granger wasn't there with him.

He ended up sitting there until dinner with a book he'd rescued from his trunk. Though half of his time wasn't even spent reading. He was eager to reach the end of the school year and leave Hogwarts, but he couldn't help but think about his trial. Though honestly, he was sure if any other person was in his position they would be focused on that as well.

Dinner came around a lot faster than Draco expected it to. It was their last dinner at Hogwarts and he was sure that, while he would miss the food, he wouldn't miss the noise of the great hall at all. He was already getting irritated with the excited chatter he was hearing as he approached the great hall, though he could hear tears as well and that only made him uncomfortable. Draco was well aware that leaving Hogwarts would be hard for some of the seventh years, but he didn't realize they would be in tears over it. He could only hope that Granger wasn't one of them; he'd seen her cry before and it wasn't something he wanted to see again.

He ended up surrounded by the first year Slytherins, who were talking excitedly about their plans for the summer. Elizabeth was bragging that Granger had agreed to write to her and try to help with their group for the next school year. Draco listened and attempted not to smile at how they were acting; he'd been nothing like that at the end of his first year. Everything had been fairly tense when he was a first year because of what had happened with Quirrell and Potter, and that seemed to be the case each year after that. But these Slytherins seemed to be happy and that fact pleased him; it was about time people were able to be happy.

"If you wouldn't mind," McGonagall said suddenly, standing up in the middle of dinner and looking around the great hall with something that resembled a smile on her face. "I would like to say a few words," Draco was reminded, for a second, that Dumbledore often said similar words during feasts. "It is, once again, the end of another school year as I'm sure you're all aware,"

There were cheers from most of the hall and the professors seemed about as happy as the students did. "To many of you we will be saying goodbye," McGonagall continued once the cheering quieted down. "I would simply like to take this moment to acknowledge the accomplishments of our seventh years, for they have done a great deal for this school since they first walked through the doors," A loud round of applause sounded through the hall and Draco could tell that a lot of people were looking toward Potter, Granger, and Weasley. He wasn't surprised by that, as most of the good done for the school had been done by them. However there were quite a number of people looking at Longbottom too, which Draco understood as well. "However I would also like to have a moment of silence for those who should have been with us tonight,"

Silence swept through the hall faster than the applause. Elizabeth, who was seated to Draco's right, looked at him and frowned sadly. Draco himself shifted uncomfortably and stared at the table, unwilling to look at the rest of the people in the great hall. "Thank you," McGonagall said, interrupting the heavy silence with a reassuring smile. "I hope you all enjoy the remainder of your meal. The train back to Kings Cross Station leaves at eleven tomorrow morning, just to remind you. Also, Delegates, I would like to see you in my office once dinner is finished," With that she sat down and picked up her fork, beginning to eat once more.

Draco glanced at Boot first, who was giving him a confused look, only to find Granger and Abbott looking at each other in the same manner. Boot shrugged slightly and went back to his meal and Draco caught Granger's eye. She only smiled slightly before turning away and talking to her friends. "What does she want with you guys? It's the end of the year, honestly, what can you do now?" Anthony asked, giving Draco a suspicious look.

"No clue," he muttered, avoiding the younger boys gaze and picking at his own meal. Draco got the feeling that Anthony knew more about everything than he let on, and was only asking to have his suspicions confirmed. It was probably the look the younger boy had in his eyes that led Draco to that conclusion. He wasn't going to go off and explain things like that to the Slytherin though, as he had other things to worry about.

After the announcement Draco was sure everyone was rushing dinner. Or at least it felt like that's what people were doing because he was soon leaving the great hall. Draco reached McGonagall's office before the others so he decided to stand outside the door. He didn't know if McGonagall would already be in the room and Draco wasn't in the mood to sit uncomfortably with her in silence.

"I can't believe we're done," he heard Abbott say. She wasn't in the corridor yet but Draco knew her voice tended to carry, so at least she was close. And if she was close then Boot was probably with her and there was always the possibility they'd dragged Granger with them as well. "I mean all these years and now they just expect us to leave without complaint? It's-"

"Home, as Harry would put it," Granger said as they walked around the corner. "You could have waited for us," she said. Draco knew she was talking to him even though her gaze was fixed on Abbott.

"Didn't feel like it," he shrugged, watching Boot roll his eyes and Granger frown.

"Of course you didn't," Boot muttered.

"I often don't,"

"That's why I said of course, Malfoy," A smile hinted at Boot's mouth as he spoke, and Draco felt like he wanted to smile as well. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I will miss this whole thing. With all of you,"

"And why is that so hard to believe?" Abbott asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Because that includes _Malfoy_," he said, making Draco roll his eyes. Abbott laughed and Granger smiled slightly before walking over to stand next to Draco.

"Shall we go in?" Granger asked, changing the subject and glancing at the door.

"Is McGonagall even in there?"

"I'd assume so," Abbott said, shrugging. Without another word she pushed the door open and walked in, head held high and a smile on her face.

They all followed her, taking their usual place in the chairs around McGonagall's desk. For a few minutes they sat with only quiet chatter before the door was pushed open and McGonagall strode in, a pleased look on her face. "I wanted to congratulate you all personally for your accomplishments from this year," she stated, taking her own seat. "For its first year, this program has proved to be a success. You've brought people together and you've made plans for the future to help them come together as well. And I believe the four of you have grown closer over the past year as well," She glanced toward Granger for a moment before looking at Draco, who dropped his eyes to avoid her gaze.

"Thank you, Professor," Abbott said, smiling. "I think I speak for us all when I say I'm pleased I got this opportunity,"

"I'm glad you feel that way, Miss Abbott," McGonagall said, happiness clear in her eyes. "I do believe the four of you were the best for the job," Draco refrained from rolling his eyes; it was the last night and he didn't want to disrespect McGonagall at the moment. "Anyway, Mr. Boot, Miss Abbott, I don't want to keep you but I did want to tell you how pleased I am with what you've accomplished this year. You are dismissed,"

They hurried from the room quickly and Granger looked at McGonagall in confusion. "Professor? Is there something you need from Draco and I?" she asked once the door had closed.

"I just wanted to know when the two of you planned on informing me of Mr. Malfoy's trial," she said, her voice losing the happiness it had held only moment ago.

"How did you-"

"Your mother wrote me weeks ago, Mr. Malfoy. I wanted to give you the opportunity to come to me on your own but you chose not to do so. Being the last night I thought I should come to you myself,"

"But how did you know that Granger-"

"Honestly, you two," McGonagall said, sighing heavily. "I've known there was something going on between you for months. Of course Miss Granger would know. You know you need her, Mr. Malfoy,"

"I-" he began, as Granger began a protest of her own.

"No, I don't want to hear it. Miss Granger I assume you've been researching to your heart's content?"

"Of course, Professor," Granger said, a bit surprised.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you would share that information with me. Mr. Malfoy I will write to your mother in the morning and I would like to help you at your trial,"

"McGonagall-"

"Saying no is not an option, in case you were wondering," she said strictly.

"I-Thank you, then, Professor," he said, the words feeling odd on his tongue. But he didn't want to argue with her and get into a fight, as that would do him no good.

Minutes later they were leaving the office and heading back to their common room. Granger kept talking, mostly about information she'd found for his trial, though every now and then she would mention how sad she was to leave the castle. Once they reached the common room they spent most of their time discussing the exams they'd recently finished in front of the sofa, much to Boot and Abbott's annoyance. But Draco didn't care; it was one of his last opportunities to have a normal night with Granger. Of course they had to retire to their rooms once midnight came around, but there was the promise of sitting together on the train the following morning.

Granger, as per usual, kept her promise. On the way back to London they sat together, Granger's friends occasionally visiting and talking to her about something or another. Their conversation drifted from topic to topic until they got off the train in a heavy debate about whether or not muggle writing utensils were better than quills. It was one of the oddest conversations he'd had but Draco was happy just to talk to her.

"Don't be ridiculous," Granger was saying, gesturing wildly with her hands as she struggled to contain laughter. She too knew how idiotic they were being, talking about the advantages of a writing utensil, but it was a topic that took their minds off Draco's trial. "You always have to dip a quill in ink, with a pen it's-"

"Draco," The stern voice interrupted her words and they both froze. Granger had her eyes trained on the shoes of his mother while Draco himself was looking at her raised eyebrows. "Well? Do I get an introduction?"

"Oh, you-" he began, though Granger quickly interrupted him.

"My name is Hermione Granger, Mrs. Malfoy," she said, unfreezing and offering her hand to his mother. Draco stared at her with widened eyes at how unafraid she was. Most people cowered under the cold gaze of his mother but Granger seemed to be handling it well. "It's a pleasure to meet you,"

His mother took her hand and shook it slowly, regarding her carefully. "The same to you, Miss Granger,"

"Mother, you-"

"I can handle anyone who makes my son happy," she said quietly, switching her gaze so she was looking at Draco. "Hurry and say goodbye, Draco, we must be going,"

She took a step away then and looked at the train with narrowed eyes. "Write, will you?" Granger asked quietly. "Before the trial. Because I will be there for that, there's nothing you can do to stop me,"

"I'll try," he answered, unsure of it he would actually follow through on the words. "I'll see you soon then, Granger?"

She nodded and offered him a small smile before she glanced around the platform. "I'm supposed to find Mrs. Weasley," she said, explaining her actions. "She had something she wanted to tell me,"

"I see,"

"Draco don't be-" She stopped talking as soon as he leaned forward and carefully pressed his lips to her cheek.

"I'm not upset," he said quietly, raising an eyebrow at the color that was rising to her cheeks. "I-I'll miss you, Granger,"

"Draco we'll see each other in a few days and you've promised to write," she said, rolling her eyes and his unease.

"But if-"

"Everything will be okay, Draco. Don't worry,"

He believed her, when she said the words. He believed pretty much everything she said now because he knew Granger had no reason to lie to him and would be irritated if she had to do so. The thought had him leaning in again and quickly pressing his lips to her, not caring at his mother was only a few feet away and would probably disapprove of the action.

It was a delighted squeal that had him pulling away. Draco looked to the left, his face still rather close to Granger's, only to find Elizabeth standing there with the other Slytherins and a large group of parents surrounding them. "Finally!" she said excitedly. "Oh I can't wait to find out what happens between you two. I _knew_ this would happen, Daniel, didn't I say this would happen?"

"You did," he agreed, rolling his eyes.

"Glad you two finally got the courage to take things public," Elizabeth smirked. "Please, don't mind us, continue,"

"Elizabeth," a tall man snapped. "Control yourself,"

"She's fine, Sir," Granger said, stepping back and laughing. "Just write to me, okay? We can talk about it if you want to,"

"Of course I'll want to," Elizabeth managed to say before she was dragged away, complaining the entire time, by her parents. The other Slytherins said their goodbyes and Draco nodded at each of them until he was once again left standing with Granger.

"I should go," she said finally, frowning. "I don't want to keep Mrs. Weasley waiting,"

"Of course. Goodbye, Granger," he said, waving at her as she turned and walked away. Draco was sad to see her go, but one look at his mother had him forgetting all about that. "Are you-You're happy?" he asked, his eyes wide as he stared at his mother. She did look happier than he'd seen her in a long time.

"I'm happy to see you happy. Things will work themselves out, Draco, believe me," And with that she grabbed his arm and they disappeared from the platform. Draco could only think for a moment that it was the last time in a very long time that he would be back there. And little did he know, it had been the last time in what felt like a very long time that he would get to kiss Granger.


	53. Chapter 53

Hermione was freaking out. It wasn't even her trial, she wouldn't actually have one, but her mind was gone anyway. It was completely full of nerves and worried thoughts about whether or not her research would be enough. Because despite what she'd told Draco and what she'd insisted in her letters she didn't know. She had no way of knowing whether or not things would be okay and if they would get to continue trying to figure out what they were to each other. She didn't know and that absolutely terrified her, because Hermione wanted to know everything.

She ran her hands over her face and continued pacing around her room. She hadn't felt like she'd had a real home outside of Hogwarts for the past year, because going home meant living in the house without her parents. So she'd settled between the Burrow and Australia. But now she was back in her own room, with her father just down the hall as they tried to go back to being normal. It was different, without her mother there, but they were trying and that was the important part.

Her father hadn't been too thrilled upon hearing how her relationship with Draco had escalated since she'd last seen him. He was still caught up in the fact that she used to come close to tears if he was mentioned because he'd always used to make her feel so rotten. He'd gotten more used to the idea since she'd been back and he'd been able to tell just how much Draco meant to her now. He'd even offered to escort her to Draco's trial that afternoon, though Hermione knew that couldn't happen because he was a muggle. It was still a nice thought, though, and she appreciated her father greatly for it.

Hermione closed her eyes as she continued walking back and forward across her floor. She knew the floor plan well enough to know where things were, though she did stumble because of a few stray books. It was the stack of books she hadn't remembered that sent her tumbling to the floor and sent her father bursting into her room. "Hermione?" he asked, his voice laced with panic. It disappeared when he saw that she was all right, and he reached down and helped her up. "What are you doing, dear?"

"I was pacing," she said, frowning at the books. It was probably the first time she'd really done that, but she was irritated that tripping over them had interrupted her thoughts of Draco and the trial. "And thinking, okay? That's it. Okay, fine, I was thinking about Draco, Dad, will you stop prying?" she snapped.

Her father could only laugh at her frustration, which didn't help Hermione's mood. "Hermione I only asked what you were doing. I didn't ask about him,"

"Sorry," she muttered, folding her arms across her chest and sighing heavily. "It's just that-"

"He goes on trial today. I know. And you're worried about him,"

"What if it's not enough? What if my research isn't enough and he ends up going to Azkaban? You haven't seen people after that place, but I have and it's awful,"

"Hermione I'm sure he'll be thankful that you cared enough to try. That's what matters, after all. And maybe he will get punished, maybe he will go to that place, but if he's changed as much as you say then maybe it will only be for a year or two," he said, patting her shoulder and giving her a reassuring smile. "I will have to meet him though, you do realize this right?"

"_Dad_," she groaned, hugging him all the same. "Thank you,"

"It was my pleasure. At least you've calmed down a bit. Though I do think it would be wise for you to contact one of your friends. They would probably be able to handle this entire thing better than I would,"

"Would you mind if I went to see Harry?"

"Of course not," he smiled. "As long as you come back tonight and tell me how this trial goes,"

"I wouldn't dream of staying away," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I'll be back tonight-Have a good day!" she called as she ran down the stairs and grabbed her wand from the kitchen. A second later she'd Disapparated and landed at Andromeda Tonks' front door. As far as she knew that was where Harry currently was. He'd written her, saying that Teddy had been doing a lot of accidental magic lately and Andromeda wanted another person around the house to help out.

With a slight hesitation, as it was about ten in the morning and Hermione didn't know if anything important was happening, she knocked on the door. It was thrown open almost immediately and a toddler was shoved into her arms. "_Hermione_ I'm _so_ glad you're here. He's been asking for stories nonstop this morning and you know Harry and I can't do them as well as you can!" A relieved looking Andromeda Tonks ushered her into the house and shut the door behind her, shaking her head slightly.

"Oh, I-" Hermione began, offering Teddy a small smile as he threw his arms around her neck in a hug.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry. You must be here for Harry, I should have known. Today is Draco's trial, right? Harry's told me all about you two. Of course you'd want his support,"

"No, it's fine," Hermione assured her, following Andromeda into the kitchen. Harry was sitting at the table with a tired look to his eye and a cup of coffee clutched tightly in his hands.

"Hermione what are you-Oh shit, is that today? Oh sh-Sorry Andromeda, be careful of language with Teddy I know, I forgot for a moment,"

"Don't worry about it. I'm stressed too, I've slipped up this past week as well. Here, Hermione, I can take Teddy and the two of you can talk," she said, reaching for her grandson.

"Actually I could read him a story, if you'd like. It would take my mind off things and it might put you to sleep. It's about nap time, right Teddy?"

"No!" the young boy snapped. "No, I don't _wanna_ nap, Ne!"

"But you want to be awake this afternoon when we go to London, don't you Teddy?" Andromeda asked.

"Yes," he said slowly, looking at Andromeda with confused eyes.

"You know if you don't take a nap, Teddy, you'll get very tired and you'll have to leave London early," Harry said, trying to reason with the small boy.

"But Harry," Teddy whined.

"Do you remember when I read you stories at Christmas, Teddy?" He nodded in response and Hermione smiled before continuing. "Would you like me to read you a story today?" He nodded again, excitedly this time, and gave Hermione a goofy grin. "Well, I can only read you one if you take a nap now,"

His eyes narrowed and he frowned at her, but Teddy slowly nodded his head. "Fine," he muttered eventually. "I take nap," Hermione smiled and kissed Teddy's cheek, which made him grin again. "But Harry come,"

"Of course I'll come," Harry said, standing up and leaving his mug at the table. "I'd love to hear a story too,"

The next half hour of her life was spent sitting in a chair in Teddy's room as she read from a small children's book that he seemed to adore. Harry was sitting beside her on the floor, surrounded by toys, and Teddy was laying on the floor with his favorite blanket. Harry had explained that he was currently protesting his bed, which had only made Hermione chuckle. Teddy was by far the best distraction from Draco's trial that she'd come across that day. Pacing had been stupid, _this_ was what she needed. Until, of course, the story finished and Teddy fell asleep. Then Harry had dragged her out of the room and into the kitchen. He sat her down at the table and gave her a concerned look. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," she lie easily, looking out the window at the garden. "I just-I-"

"Gets harder to lie, doesn't it," Harry stated, frowning at her. "Hermione, what's wrong? I know today's his trial but that's not until this afternoon and you'll be there. There's nothing to worry about. After everything you've done for research, I'd be surprised if they sentenced him at all,"

"But what if it's not enough, Harry?" she asked in a small voice that she hated using. But it described perfectly how she was feeling at the moment, so Hermione didn't fight the voice very hard.

"Hermione, is that what you're worried about?"

"Of course it is. What if I didn't do enough to help and he gets sent there anyway? I know he's done wrong, I _get_ that, contrary, to popular belief, but they'd send him to Azkaban and I can't stand the thought of what would happen to him if he did go there,"

"Hermione he's got you, and McGonagall from what I've heard. Between the two of you, he can't end up there for too long. And you'll be there to help him when he's out, if he does go,"

"But Harry, I-"

"You need to stop worrying about this until it's his actual trial. Which isn't for another seven hours, so we're going to do something,"

"Harry can't we just sit here and talk about how much I'm freaking out?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, standing up and grabbing her hand to pull her with him. "How about lunch, at the Leaky Cauldron, and then we could go to Flourish and Blotts?"

"Harry it's barely even half past ten. We don't need lunch,"

"We'll go to Flourish and Blotts first then," he shrugged, waving at Andromeda as they passed her on their way out of the house. "Let me try and help you, Hermione. It'll be nice, just the two of us. What do you say?"

She rolled her eyes and was tempted to shake her head, but she ended up nodding. "Fine. But I get to talk about how nervous I am if I remember it,"

"I wouldn't have it any other way,"

His plan worked, for the most part. They spent an hour in Flourish and Blotts looking at books, which Hermione found very comforting and she bought three new ones. They did end up getting lunch, which helped her take her mind off Draco's trial for the duration of their meal. Afterwards they ended up going to the quidditch shop and Harry wanted to stop into Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, so they ended up spending much of their afternoon at Diagon Alley. Hermione found that she was beginning to enjoy herself and her mind kept drifting further and further from the trial.

They were walking down the main street when there was a sudden shout of her last name, which surprised her. Hermione squinted to see where it was coming from and saw a familiar, excited face hopping up and down. "Hermione who's-"

"Elizabeth!" Hermione called loudly, smiling widely at the sight of the younger girl and running over. She considered giving her a hug once she reached her but quickly decided against it. "How's your summer been so far? What are you-all of you," she said, noticing that Jacob and Ben were next to her, "doing here today?"

Elizabeth's eyes flickered to Jacob, who looked at the ground guiltily and shook his head slightly. "Jacob just needed a day with some friends. Ben and I were the only ones available. Not that we'd tell him no or anything, it's lovely to see him really,"

"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked quietly, before Harry came over to stand next to her.

"Hermione who are-"

Ben's face lit up at the sight of Hermione's best friend. "Hi!" he said excitedly, cutting Harry off and grabbing his hand to shake it. "My name's Ben. I-I didn't have the courage to talk to you early but I guess I never realized how close you were with Hermione and if you're close with her then you must be okay with people saying hi so-"

Harry looked a little confused for a moment, but he quickly recovered and smiled at the young Gryffindor. "It's nice to meet you," he said, shaking his hand before giving Hermione a confused look. "Um, all of you, it's nice to meet you,"

"These are some of the first years I was telling you about," Hermione said, giving Harry an apologetic smile. Ben was obsessed with anyone he thought of as a hero, and that included Harry.

"Well I'm her favorite, actually," Elizabeth said cockily. "I'm sure she's mentioned me; my name's Elizabeth,"

"Of course," Harry said, smiling slightly. "Hello, Elizabeth,"

"She likes Jacob and I just fine though," Ben protested, and Jacob rolled his eyes.

Hermione looked at Jacob closer than she had before and she realized that he looked really pale and upset. She was instantly worried about him, because the last time she'd seen him he'd looked really happy. "Jacob what's going on?" she asked quietly, letting Elizabeth and Ben argue with Harry about who her favorite was. "Are you okay?"

"No," he said miserably.

"Then what's wrong? You can tell me, Jacob, I promise. Is it about your parents?"

"How do you know about them?"

"Draco told me. We try not to keep things from each other. It doesn't always work, in fact it usually never does, but it worked for that. And I don't judge you for it, you know,"

"I've heard them talking the past few days, about people like you and how they don't, um, like them very much," he whispered, glancing nervously at Harry. "They kept saying how they had to do something about them and I... I couldn't handle listening anymore. I wrote to Elizabeth and asked if we could meet at Diagon Alley. She brought Ben because he and I get along pretty well. I'm just... I'm afraid they're going to do something bad, my parents. I'm afraid they're capable of it,"

"Jacob I'm sure everything will be okay. They couldn't risk doing something that could make them lose you. I don't think anyone could. You're a pretty great kid, you know,"

"You don't know them like I do," he said, the panic in his voice raising slightly. "I can't-I don't want to keep living with them," he admitted quietly. "I can't listen to them, I think I'm going crazy and I-"

"Jacob, Ben and I have both told you, we think our parents would be fine with you moving in. Just tell them you're visiting with friends for the rest of the summer and then just don't go back," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes. "Jacob we're worried about you. It's barely been a week since we got back from school and you already look awful,"

"What's this ab-" Harry began curiously, but a loud scream from down the street stopped him.

"What was that?" Ben asked, looking toward the source of the noise.

"Why did someone-" Elizabeth began, but she too was stopped as another scream sounded.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, panic beginning to seep into her voice.

"I'm sure everything's fine," Harry said, though Hermione could tell how unsure he sounded. "I'll go check it-"

More screams began popping up and Hermione was able to see bright flashes of light. In a matter of three seconds Diagon Alley fell to complete and utter chaos. People began screaming and running, shoving others out of the way in an attempt to leave the area. Harry ran against the crowd and tried to get to the original source of the screaming. "Where are your parents?" Hermione asked immediately, looking at the three younger students who looked terrified.

"T-They dropped us off, mine and Ben's parents, and Jacob had to sneak away,"

"Shit," Hermione swore loudly, looking over her shoulder and the area that was slowly clearing. She could see people dueling and by the shouts she caught of the curses, Hermione knew it was more serious than it should have been. She only began to notice the people laying injured or dying in the street when Elizabeth screamed loudly at one that stumbled close to them before falling. "Get to the joke store,"

"_What_?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes wide and scared.

"I know the people who own it and I trust them. Now please, all or you, run straight there and don't come out until I come to get you. Got it?"

"No-No you have to come with us!" Jacob shouted. "Please, you can't leave us alone!" He grabbed her wrist and clung to it, tears filling his eyes. "What if it's them? What if it's them and they find me and-"

"Jacob _listen_ to me. You'll be okay, I promise. Please, I don't want any of you to get hurt but I need to go help-" Hermione cast a glance over her shoulder and saw that the fighting was getting closer. "Come on, guys, I need you to be safe. Please,"

"We have to-" Ben began. He seemed to be the most collected out of all of them, and Hermione could understand why. After all of the time he'd spent reading about superheroes he probably wanted to be like one and make sure others were safe.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Hermione spun around almost immediately and threw her arms out in front of the younger students. "Who the hell are you?" she asked, glad that at least Elizabeth, Jacob, and Ben seemed to realize what she wanted and they got behind her.

There were a few tense seconds where the woman who was standing in front of her remained still, but the she smile. "I know a lot about you, Hermione Granger,"

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she looked at the woman, and her hand slipped into her pocket and gripped her wand tightly. The entire thing felt very familiar and as she glanced to the side, she saw Harry dueling furiously. "That's nice," she said, not paying as much attention as she knew she should. "I'd appreciate it if you'd move and let us through,"

"Unfortunately that's not in the cards, Miss Granger,"

"But what's-"

The witch in front of her cast a spell so quickly that Hermione barely had time to react. And her reaction was simply raising her wand so she could try and cast a shield charm. Hermione stumbled back, unsure of what the curse had done but her head did feel odd. A shout of her name from Elizabeth cleared her mind and Hermione immediately cast a shield charm to protect herself and the three students. "Oh, smart girl," the witch said, laughing gleefully. "Very smart, but do you know what cuts through shield charms?"

Hermione didn't even get the chance to answer, though she was sure she knew what was coming next. She was hit with the Cruciatus Curse and immediately began screaming and writhing around, leaving the younger students unprotected. But what was she to do? She couldn't try and fight it, the curse didn't allow for that. The only thing she could do was hope that they would take the chance to run.

She had absolutely no idea how long the curse was on her, but she did know that she struggled to retain her balance once she was released from it. She did manage to catch the other witch off guard as she sent a curse of her own at her, stalling the older woman for a moment. "Go!" she said loudly, realizing that the others were still behind her. "Go, please, I-" She stopped to shoot another jinx before turning around to face Elizabeth, Ben, and Jacob. "I'm serious, you need to leave. I don't know what's going on and I don't know if I can protect you so you need to-" She stopped talking as she was hit with another curse that made her scream in agony.

"H-Hermione we don't want to-" Elizabeth began, her voice at least an octave higher than it normally was.

"Just go!" The shout, Hermione realized as the curse was taken off her, came from Harry and he was running to her rescue. "Go and find someone to tell the ministry!"

"Oh look at this, here to save the stupid girl, Potter?" the woman laughed. Screams began to sound again as Hermione was sure someone had attacked the part of Diagon Alley most had run off too.

"Brightest witch of my damn age," Hermione said angrily, taking the chance to stun the witch when she wasn't looking at her. "Or at least that's what I've been told,"

Harry glanced at her, a slightly proud look in his eyes at what she'd done. "Nice one," he said, looking at the witch. "Now who the hell is she and why are they attacking-"

A spell hit him and Harry fell forward, frozen on the ground. For a moment Hermione felt the overwhelming fear that he'd died before she bent down and found that his heart was still beating. She hadn't seen what had happened but she knew that it furiated her. This had gone too far; the fact that someone would attack Diagon Alley and hurt people made her realize just how bad the world still was, even with Voldemort gone.

She managed to drag Harry into a concealed area and shouted that Elizabeth, Jacob, and Ben stay with him and stay unseen. They seemed to listen to her, finally, as they hovered over him and waited for him to wake up. Hermione ran back out then, trying to make sure everyone who'd been injured would be all right and try to avoid the spells being thrown at the same time.

It worked for a while and she was able to make sure that at least some people wouldn't die from what had happened to them. She was in the process of standing up after dragging one woman to the side when she saw a spell flying at her. She recognized it almost immediately as the one that had hit her in fifth year. But it was too close at that moment to dodge and the wave of purple fire flew over her. She let out a small noise as a large amount of pain overcame her every thought. She crumpled to the ground, only barely aware of someone screaming her name repeatedly before her conciousness slipped away and she was left with nothing but blackness and pain.


	54. Chapter 54

It was finally the day. Draco knew what the outcome of this day would be, no matter how many times Granger and his mother told him differently. He knew the truth, he knew the ministry wasn't going to forgive him for everything he'd done and he knew there was no hope. The rest of his life would be spent in Azkaban and he would never see Granger again and he would never get to tell her that she meant the world to him, like he wanted to. Because he really did want her to know that despite everything he'd done and said she was the only one to believe in him and she was the only one who'd given him a chance. He wanted to thank her for that, to truly thank her, and he might never get the chance.

He'd written her a letter around two that afternoon, to ask if she could come to the ministry early so they could get one final time to talk. It would be their only real chance, because they couldn't exactly talk during the trial and Draco was positive they wouldn't get to talk after it. She hadn't replied and he'd sent the bloody letter two hours ago. Meaning there was only an hour left before the trial actually started, so he was sure he wouldn't get his chance.

He'd hidden out in the library at his house to avoid his mother's attempts at cheering him up. She'd tried to cook, to _cook_, and she'd never made a thing in her entire life. Draco didn't want her cakes though, and he didn't want the new suit she'd bought him to wear to the trial. The library had been the obvious choice, because his mother tended not to entire the room unless absolutely necessary. It had always been Draco's area, even when his father still lived in the home, and they'd known he hadn't liked people messing it up.

There was a book in his lap but he hadn't read a word on the page. He wanted to write Granger again, to see if she was okay and to ask why she hadn't responded, but he didn't want to sound needy. He knew that was how he'd come across if he wrote that letter, so he'd tried to distract himself. It wasn't working at all but there was nothing he could do. Absolutely nothing, actually, as there were aurors outside the manor to make sure he didn't try to escape and avoid the trial. It was ridiculous. Honestly, if he wanted to go through the trouble of skipping the trial then he would have done it when he'd first found out.

Time continued to pass and Draco was bored out of his mind. It was too late for him to meet Granger before the trial, as he was supposed to be there at half past four and it was already a quarter after four. He knew that getting dressed was the right move to make, especially before his mother finally did enter the room and yell at him to do it, but he didn't feel much like moving. He simply wanted to sit and wait for Granger's reply because that was the only thing that mattered.

Draco groaned and stood up when he heard footsteps approaching the library. He hurried to the door and opened it to find his mother standing in front of him. "Draco you need to-" she began.

"I know. I'm about to do that," he muttered, pushing past her and going to his room. He changed quickly as he didn't give a damn what he looked like, and went downstairs to find his mother pacing by the front entrance. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you," she answered, her tone slightly irritated. "We need to leave, right now, or we're going to be late,"

Draco nodded and followed her out the front door. The first thing he noticed was that the aurors were gone. "Where are they?" he asked, not specifying because Draco was sure his mother knew what hew as asking.

"They left about two hours ago,"

"So they deemed I was no longer a flight risk?"

"No, actually. All I know is that something happened and they were needed. They asked me to make sure you didn't leave, and I knew you'd stay in the library for as long as possible,"

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Draco, now don't ask again," she snapped, grabbing his arm and apparating them both to the ministry.

Draco was close to complaining because he knew he could apparate himself, but he stopped when he caught sight of people running around the ministry with panicked expressions on their faces. "Mother-"

"I've no idea, Draco," she said stiffly, pulling him to the welcoming station. They went through the normal procedure and Draco was forced to leave his wand with the grumpy looking wizard, though he knew he wouldn't need it after the trial. He felt miserable; it was almost like walking toward death but Draco knew that going to Azkaban was worse than that.

They waited outside the courtrooms, his mother anxiously trying to smooth his hair and fix his tie. He continued slapping her hands away which only got him angry looks, but he didn't care. He continued to scan the corridor for any sign of Granger's bushy hair, but he didn't see it.

He was too busy with his thoughts of Granger that he didn't notice McGonagall walk over to them. He barely even noticed as she struck up a conversation with his mother, though the words he heard didn't interest him any. He didn't care about what they were saying; what he cared about was where Granger was. She'd promised that she would be there. Maybe she'd finally realized that he wasn't worth the trouble? But Granger didn't seem like the kind of person who would do that. If she decided that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore then she would tell him to his face. She wouldn't hide; Granger wasn't the kind to hide from her problems.

"Are you ready?" his mother asked quietly, once five o'clock came around and it was time for the trial to begin. "Draco, dear, are you ready to go in?"

"Where's Granger?" he asked immediately, looking around with confused eyes. "She promised to be here, so where is she?"

"Mr. Malfoy she's probably just running late," McGonagall said, though she didn't look very sure herself.

"She'll be here, Draco," his mother said.

"But she wouldn't run late for _this_," he muttered angrily before he walked through the doors. He was immediately led to a chair in the middle of the room, where he sat and stared moodily at the Wizengamot.

And so the trial began. Draco was only half paying attention because he kept his eyes locked on the door unless specifically asked to do otherwise. He couldn't understand where Granger was and why she wasn't running in, apologizing for being late and looking at him with her sad expression. He answered questions when he was asked though often they had to be repeated because he wasn't truly listening. Draco knew it looked bad and from the panicked looks he was getting from his mother, everyone else was thinking so as well. He thought about explaining to the Wizengamot and interrupting the minister, who was asking the questions, but he knew that would look even worse.

"Mr. Malfoy, eyes on me please," a deep voice said, annoyance clear in the voice. Draco looked at the minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and frowned. He didn't speak, as he wasn't supposed to without being directly spoken to.

"You're very distracted," a woman snapped. "Do you even care what's going on right now?"

He was tempted to shout out that no, he didn't care, because Granger wasn't there and he was worried about her, but he held his tongue and glared at the woman. "Answer her, Mr. Malfoy," Shacklebolt instructed.

"I do," he said quietly, fixing his gaze back on the minister.

"Then act like it," the woman said, her voice keeping all of the anger and hatred it held. She, he knew, would definitely want to send him to Azkaban for the rest of his life. Not that he really blamed her, he'd done awful things. It continued on and Draco quickly lost interest again, looking back at the door.

To his surprise, after another five minutes of questions and accusations the door burst open. There was a young man standing in the doorway and panting heavily, his eyes wide and worried. Shacklebolt stood up immediately and narrowed his eyes at the man. "What do you think you're doing? This is an official trial and you are not-"

"I-I'm sorry, Minister," the man said in a high pitched voice. "It's just, you know, with the attack and all-"

"You need to leave, right now," Shacklebolt said. Draco, actually paying attention for once, knew that he would have left at the man's words. Shacklebolt, like McGonagall, wasn't the kind of person you disobeyed. Then again, Draco didn't want the man to leave. He'd mentioned an attack, and Draco had heard nothing about one.

"Sir, please just hear me out," the man pleaded. "Please, I've had the entire Weasley family shouting at me for the past ten minutes and I can't go back to them without what they've asked for,"

"Kingsley, hear the boy out," McGonagall said immediately, her expression one of slight confusion. "Go on, what is it you need?"

"It-It's been requested that Draco Malfoy be brought to St. Mungo's immediately," he stated, his eyes glancing to Draco and his hands beginning to tremble.

"Why?" Shacklebolt asked, frowning deeply.

"H-Harry Potter said that he was involved romantically with Hermione Granger and-"

Draco felt his face warm immediately at the words, but the man now had his full attention. He didn't know why Potter would be at St. Mungo's, he didn't know what this attack talk was about, and he definitely didn't know why Granger was involved. "Your point?" the woman from earlier asked irritably.

"He, and the Weasleys, said that he needed to be brought straight to St. Mungo's. A-Apparently she's worse off than we thought when we got the initial report of who's been injured and they-they don't exactly know if she'll make it,"

Draco stood up immediately, his face going pale. "Granger?" he asked, ignoring the fact that he wasn't supposed to be speaking.

"Sit down, Mr. Malfoy! Be quiet!" a man yelled, but Draco didn't pay him any attention.

"Yes, she's in St. Mungos and-"

"What happened?" he snapped. "What the _hell_ happened?"

"Mr. Malfoy there was an attack on Diagon Alley and Miss Granger was involved," Shacklebolt said. "But we were told she would be fine, so you need to sit back down and we will resume your trial,"

"Obviously she's not bloody fine if Potter's sent for me!" Draco yelled, any attempt at being calm completely forgotten. "I need to see her. I need to-"

Shacklebolt waved his wand once and Draco found himself back in the chair and unable to speak. "We will continue this trial. Do not disrupt this again," he said, his eyes switching between looking at Draco and looking at the man who'd run into the room. "Tell Harry Potter and the Weasleys that we will do our best to get him there, but they do not have the authority to break up a trial and take away the accused,"

The trial lasted another agonizing hour. McGonagall looked pale herself, but she said her piece and presented everything Granger had collected. Draco didn't even try to pay attention to the rest of it; his mind was focused solely on Granger and thinking the worst about what had happened to her. A glance at his mother showed how worried she was, though Draco knew that was simply because his conviction looked definite at this point. He didn't even care; he just wanted the chance to see that Granger was still breathing and hopefully better than the man had made her out to be. He was terrified that something bad had happened to her, and he was rarely terrified for other people.

The words, "_Please rise for sentencing_," rang through his messy thoughts and he stood numbly, knowing what was coming next. He stared at the woman that had spoken to him, seeing her but not really processing everything that was happening. In his mind's eye he saw Granger laying on a hospital bed, bloody and dying and-He had to stop those thoughts or he was going to cry. It seemed to be his worst fear, at the moment. Not even the threat of Azkaban could compare to how worried he was about Granger. "All those in favor of imprisonment please raise your hands,"

It was two thirds of the Wizengamot. Only two thirds though, Draco had been sure the number would be higher. "Draco Malfoy, you are hereby sentenced to five years imprisonment in Azkaban prison. Guards, please take him away," Shacklebolt said in a cold voice.

Rough hands grabbed his arms before Draco processed the information. "No-No wait!" he shouted, beginning to struggle. "No, wait, you have to let me see her!"

"Stop struggling," one of the guards hissed.

"_No_! You can't send me there for _five years_ without knowing whether or not she's okay!"

"Mr. Malfoy do not make matters worse for yourself," Shacklebolt said. There was a bit of compassion in his words this time, though they didn't make Draco feel any better.

"No, no _please_, please let me see her!" he screamed, struggling harder as the guards attempted to drag him out of the room.

"Draco calm down, please!" his mother yelled, adding to the noise and the disruption his was causing.

"No! Please, please, I think I love her-_I think I love her_-you have to let me see her!"

As the words slipped from his mouth without him meaning them to, Draco felt panic fill his chest. He couldn't go away for five years without at least seeing her because no one would tell him if she was okay. At that moment McGonagall stood up, a furious expression on her face. "Kingsley stop this madness this instant!"

"Minerva, sit _down_," Shacklebolt commanded. "You do _not_ make the rules here,"

"Kingsley you heard the boy, how he feels. It's downright cruel to send him there without at least seeing her!" McGonagall argued.

There was a heavy silence in which Draco continued to struggle against the men holding him. He had to see her, had to know that she wasn't dead like he feared, and they were preventing him from doing that. Draco was losing his mind, he knew, but what was he to do? If his admitted to himself that he'd truly meant his words about possibly loving her then- "Mr. Malfoy, are you listening?" Shacklebolt asked.

"I-"

"The aurors will accompany you to St. Mungo's. You have two hours and then you will be brought to Azkaban to begin your sentence. Enjoy your last hours of freedom,"

"You-You'd let me-"

"I'm not heartless, Mr. Malfoy. Now go, before you run out of time,"

Before Draco could even think to thank the minister, aurors grabbed his arms and twisted. They landed outside the building that hid St. Mungo's. He was quickly led inside the building and the aurors pushed to the front of the line to get to the Welcome Witch. Draco felt speechless at how quickly this all was happening, so the auror on his left explained that they were there for Hermione Granger.

Draco felt sick as he was told that she was located on the fourth floor. He didn't know what spell had been used on her or how badly it had affected her, but he had his fears. He didn't want to walk up and find a dying Granger, though after the way he'd acted in front of the Wizengamot he knew there was no turning back. "Stop here," one of the aurors said as they approached the ward they'd ben told Granger was in. "I'll check to see if they want you in," The auror was gone for a total of thirty seconds and he came back with an irritated expression on his face. He nodded jerkily toward the ward so Draco took a shaky step forward and pushed the door open.

The first thing that happened was that he was attacked with a hug. Draco tensed immediately before looking down and seeing Elizabeth, Jacob, and Ben clinging to him. "We're so sorry," Elizabeth said. She was always the one to speak up, Draco knew, and he was glad for that in the moment. It gave him the chance to keep quiet. "It's all our fault; if we'd just listened to her then none of this would have happened,"

"It is _not_ your fault," an older woman said sharply. The red hair gave her away and Draco became aware that he was looking at Mrs. Weasley, a woman he never thought he'd meet. She seemed hesitant as she looked at Draco, but after a moment her expression softened and she sighed. "They won't listen to that though, will you tell them?"

"What could you have done?" he whispered, holding the three close to his own body. "She'll be fine,"

"But what if she's not?" Elizabeth asked, her voice panicky as she stepped away and pulled the others with her. "What if it's all our fault because we wouldn't run like she wanted us to?"

"Hermione would never blame you," Potter piped up, his eyes glued on Draco. "Why was an auror with you?" he asked almost as soon as he knew Draco was looking back at him. "You weren't-" he began, but Draco nodded his head. "Well that's going to piss her off when she wakes up,"

"So it's definite then?"

"We refuse to think any other way," Mr. Weasley stated. "Hermione's family, we won't lose her,"

Draco nodded, his comfort level decreasing significantly when he realized that everyone in the room was staring at him. He shifted awkwardly before looking back at Elizabeth as he realized what her words meant. "You three were there then?" he asked quietly, his face warming quickly.

"We were just trying to make Jacob feel better," Ben muttered.

"I'm glad you're all okay then," he said, relieved that at least they were fine. Granger getting hurt was awful enough in and of itself; Draco would have completely lost it if any of the younger kids were hurt.

"How long, Malfoy?" Potter asked eventually, after an uncomfortable silence had stretched on for far too long.

"Five years," he murmured.

Potter let out a sigh and nodded. "At least it's not too long then,"

"Granger's research helped, I think. Will you tell her that? I won't be able to,"

"Of course I will,"

"Why did you need someone to interrupt the middle of my-" he began to ask, but Potter let out a short laugh.

"We couldn't just leave you without any information. You two are-You're-Well I don't actually know _what_ you are, but you're something. You needed to know,"

"And you couldn't wait until after?"

"Obviously not,"

Draco nodded slightly and looked at Elizabeth, who was looking at him worriedly. "Dear, you haven't looked at her yet," Mrs. Weasley said gently.

He frowned, knowing she was right. He'd avoided looking toward the bed they were all grouped around so he wouldn't have to look at Granger. He was afraid of what he would see, though when he did eventually turn his gaze to her he realized it wasn't as bad as he'd imagined. She looked normal, like she was sleeping peacefully. "What happened to her?"

"Do you remember what happened in fifth year? At the ministry?" Potter asked.

"Of course I do," Draco said. That was the first time his father had been sent to Azkaban; he wouldn't forget that.

"Well Hermione was hit with a spell then, that didn't do any damage on the outside but it messed her up really badly internally," Potter explained.

"I know,"

"You know?"

"I wasn't blind, Potter,"

"No, but apparently you were already starting to pay her attention then," he said, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, Malfoy, just how long have you-"

"Shut up," Draco muttered.

"Anyway, when she was hit then she'd silenced the person who'd done it so the spell wasn't as effective. But this time..."

"They used their voice?" he guessed.

Potter nodded and sighed. "It'll be worse this time, a lot worse. The healers said she might not wake up for a few days. _Days_, Malfoy, it could be days,"

"Right," he nodded, his eyes stuck on Granger then.

Draco ended up sitting beside her, much as she'd done for him in the hospital wing, for the remainder of his two hours with her. It was definitely awkward in the room and it got worse when Elizabeth's parents came to get the three kids as he lost allies, but at least it didn't seem like they hated him. Outright, at least, Draco knew they were probably disgusted by his presence.

When the two hours were up, the two aurors who's brought him to the hospital in the first place walked into the room with grim expressions. "Say your goodbyes, Malfoy," one snapped, probably annoyed that he'd been forced to wait there for so long.

Draco glanced around the room before he stood up and gently grabbed Granger's limp hand. "I wish I could..." he started, but he quickly shook his head and didn't finish the thought. "Thank you for informing me, Potter,"

Potter nodded at him and sighed. "Don't give up in there," he said. "For Hermione. She'll expect an explanation and a story when you get out,"

Draco nodded slightly and walked to the aurors. He refused to turn back around and look one last time at the family he was sure hated him, the boy who'd confused him, and the girl who'd, well, who'd become the most important person in his life. There was a good chance he'd never see them again, and looking would only make the rotten feeling in his stomach worse.

Not even ten minutes later he was sitting in a cell, in a uniform that didn't quite fit, as what little happiness he had began to be stolen by the dementors that had been allowed back into the prison.


	55. Chapter 55

Hermione didn't want to wake up. Well, she did but she was in enough pain as it was and if she woke then she'd have to move and that would only make things worse. She'd actually been awake for at least ten minutes, listening to the chatter in whatever room she was in. That she could handle. But opening her eyes? There was no way in hell she was going to do that. First of all, the pain thing was number one on her mind. Secondly she'd heard Mrs. Weasley talking and while she loved the older woman, she couldn't handle being fussed over like she was sure Mrs. Weasley would do. And finally, she hadn't heard Draco. Hermione had no idea how long she'd been wherever she was-she assumed St. Mungo's-but she knew that he would have come. If it was actually serious like it seemed to be then he would have come. He hadn't, and Hermione was terrified of what that meant.

She knew she couldn't stay like this forever though, but Hermione really didn't want to deal with what she would see when she opened her eyes. Especially not her father. She didn't know how he'd gotten into the hospital but she knew that it was him who was sitting next to her, holding her hand like it was all he had left in the world. Sooner or later she would do it. But now just didn't feel like the right time.

Suddenly there was a presence by her ear and Hermione wanted to sigh as she heard a quiet voice speak. "You're going to have to open those eyes of yours sometime, Hermione," her father said, before sitting back in his chair. She should have known that he would notice she wasn't unconscious any longer; he could always tell when she was feigning sleep. He'd become quite good at that when she was only five and trying to hide the fact that she'd stayed up past her bedtime to read a book. "You promised to come home that night, and now you've kept me waiting another week longer. I'd like to see your eyes again," he continued in a whisper. Hermione wasn't sure if anyone else had heard the words, but she knew they made her feel incredibly guilty. She had promised to come home the night of Draco's trial, but she hadn't had much control over what had happened in Diagon Alley.

A deep sigh sounded from her father before Hermione made the decision to agree with him and open her eyes. She noticed almost immediately that the simple act made her head pound and she couldn't imagine what would happen if she moved much more. She took a calming breath and immediately had to put a hand to her chest; that hurt too. It definitely hadn't been this bad in her fifth year. Then again, the curse hadn't been at its fullest then, as it had been when it was used against her in Diagon Alley.

Hermione glanced at her father, who was looking at her with wide, relieved eyes, before looking at everyone else in the room. Mrs. Weasley was sitting on her other side though she hadn't seemed to notice that Hermione had opened her eyes yet. She was slightly surprised to see Ron standing in the corner, talking quietly to Ginny. Hermione nearly began to panic when she realized that Harry wasn't there. She began to doubt her assessment of his condition at Diagon Alley. What if it had been serious? What if he'd been horribly hurt? What if-

The door opened and Hermione heard glass shatter. She didn't even get the chance to turn her head and look at who was entering when she was pulled into a hug that hurt, yes, but also made her give off a sigh of content. After a moment she realized that it was Harry's black hair that was preventing her from seeing anything anymore. "Harry," she breathed, her hands gripping his shirt tightly as she hugged him back. "I'm glad you're okay,"

He gave a short laugh and pulled away, raising an eyebrow. "Honestly, Hermione, I'm glad _you're_ okay," he said before Mrs. Weasley gave a gentle hug of her own.

"You gave us a right scare, Hermione," the older woman scolded, though Hermione knew she wasn't mad at her. "Honestly, to get that news and hear that both you and Harry had been hurt...I've been losing my mind with worry!"

Hermione's face warmed at the words and she nodded, trying not to wince as something twisted painfully in her chest. She half listened to the adults then as they spoke to her and called the healers in to look her over. Her eyes kept getting stuck on Ron, who continued to offer her a nervous smile. Eventually, once the healers had left and Hermione had been allowed to sit up in bed, she managed to convince her father, Mrs. Weasley, Harry, and Ginny to leave the room so she could have a word with Ron. Harry had promised to get more tea, which explained the shattering glass she'd heard when he first entered the room.

Ron stood cautiously next to her bed and Hermione's eyes narrowed slightly. "I know I shouldn't be surprised that you're here, but for some reason I am," she said, her voice slightly cold. "Ron can you just say something to me instead of standing there and staring?"

"Hermione I-"

"I'm sorry," she interrupted quickly, sighing and pressing a hand to her ribs so they would stop aching. "That was harsh. I'm glad you're here, Ron,"

He offered her a nervous smile before looking down at his feet and sighing. "I was really worried, you know. When I heard what had happened," Hermione simply nodded in reply and continued staring at him. There wasn't another response she could give him; if he wanted the conversation to continue then he would have to continue it himself. "I'm sick of fighting with you, Hermione,"

"I'm tired of the fighting as well," she said quietly.

"I should have been happy for you, when I found out what was going on with you and Malfoy,"

"Actually I think you had every right to be frustrated and hurt," Hermione said, sighing again. "However I wish you would have just talked to me instead of just ignoring me for the rest of the year,"

"Well I'm a jerk, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are,"

There was an awkward silence in the room for a few moments before Ron chuckled softly and offered Hermione a genuine smile. "Can we get past this?"

"Of course we can," Hermione said immediately, not regretting the words for an instant. "You're one of my best friends, Ron, I couldn't be without you for too long,"

"Well I feel a little better now," he said, nodding and letting out a sigh of relief. "To be honest I thought you were going to throw me out of here,"

Hermione laughed but quickly stopped, as that hurt as well. "I wouldn't dream of it," she said quietly, watching concern flicker on her friend's face. "Don't worry, Ron, I'll be up and running in no time,"

"Just don't strain yourself. Granted with the way you father and my parents have been talking lately, I doubt you'll be allowed out of the house for the next ten years,"

"They can't be that bad, can they?"

"Dad's a bit more level headed; he suggested keeping you inside for five," Ron joked, smiling at her.

Hermione fought to keep herself from laughing at that as well, and to her relief she succeeded. "I suppose I should talk to them, right? Try and get the sentence lessened," Ron cringed at the words and Hermione frowned immediately. "What?"

"Nothing,"

"Don't lie to me, Ronald,"

"Hermione it's not really my place to say. Harry should be the one to tell you, or maybe Ginny. They'd be the best at delivering the news,"

"Ron what are you talking about?"

"I'll just go get them then," he said, ignoring her question and hurrying out of the room.

For a moment Hermione was left alone in the room and she couldn't help but frown at her feet, but then the door opened again and Harry came in looking sheepish. He was clutching the Daily Prophet tightly in his hands and he couldn't hold her gaze, though every few seconds he would glance at her and sigh. "I'm sure you're wondering about Malfoy," he said slowly.

Hermione was sure her heart dropped at the sound of his voice, though if it had she knew that would have hurt a lot more. "Of course I am. He would be here, if he knew exactly what had happened. I'm sure of it. Has no one told him? Didn't I hear my father say that it's been a week?"

"He-He did come, Hermione, but he couldn't stay long,"

"Harry please just spit it out. What's going on?"

Instead of speaking he chose to hand her the Dailey Prophet and he tapped the front page. "It-It was front page news, apparently," he mumbled, frowning.

The headline of the article he obviously wanted her to read nearly made color rush to her cheeks again. **_Death Eater Falls for Muggleborn Hero_** was the title, and the contents of the article surprised her as well. It talked about how Draco's trial had been interrupted to try and get him to St. Mungo's. It also gave that fact that he'd been sentenced to Azkaban for five years, a fact that made Hermione feel even sicker than she always was. But what surprised her the most was the outburst he'd had, where the phrase _I think I love her_ had escaped his lips twice. Hermione hadn't even known he was thinking thoughts like that. They could barely even talk about what their relationship was and he just went and shouted that in front of the entire Wizengamot? Despite that fact she still felt slightly pleased that he'd said it.

"Five years?"

"Well that's what it originally was. From what I've heard Draco's mother is trying to get it reduced,"

"But what about everything I found? I thought it would-"

"Hermione, I talked to some people at the ministry. They said the only reason he isn't spending the rest of his life in Azkaban was because of what you found. And, of course, the obvious change when he heard that you were hurt,"

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"I'm sorry," was the only response he gave. "But look on the bright side; in five years you can see him again and things will go back to normal,"

Hermione opened her mouth to protest; five years was far too long to go without seeing him and she knew it would be hard to just stay away. Her mouth fell shut though, because she knew that no matter how much she protested and how she yelled at Harry nothing would change. It wasn't his fault, what had happened. It wasn't her fault either. She'd known that her information might not be enough and she'd known that Draco would be punished for his actions in some way, but five years just seemed like too much. In her silence Harry had decided to hug her again, but gently this time. He seemed to have realized that the hug from earlier, while appreciated, had not felt good.

After a while Hermione's day fell into an irritating pattern. Every hour a healer would come in to check on her and give her a potion that was supposed to help, but it only frustrated her. She listened to her father talking to Mr. Weasley about muggle things, which excited Mr. Weasley to no end. Mrs. Weasley would fuss over her and ask questions about how she was feeling. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were doing their best to distract her by engaging her in conversation about what they were going to do with their summer. Harry and Ron wanted to go into Auror training and Hermione had told them she was thinking about a job in the ministry, which they'd laughed at.

She knew that this would be her life for the next few days, or however long it would take for her to recover from the curse she'd been hit with. Hermione knew she would try and convince her father to bring her books to occupy her time. It would be the only thing to stop her from becoming irreversibly bored while in the hospital. Her friends would be irritated that she would ignore them for her books, but Hermione didn't care. What she cared about was- "Miss Granger?" Hermione blinked and looked toward the door. There was a healer standing there and Hermione frowned; she could have sworn there was still fifteen minutes before she had to take her next potion. "Miss Granger, Narcissa Malfoy is downstairs and she would like to have a word with you. Is it all right if she comes up?"

Hermione blinked in surprise and looked to Harry, who was smirking. "You can _talk_ to Malfoy's mother, can't you? From what I heard you two kissed in front of her at the platform,"

Her cheeks warmed at the words and her father raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly. "Shut up, Harry," she mumbled. "That's fine," she said addressing the healer. The healer nodded and quickly walked away. "What could she possibly want with me?"

"She asked us to let her know when you were awake," Mrs. Weasley said. "Considering what Harry's told us about your relationship with her son I thought it would be fine,"

"It is, I just..." Hermione trailed off. A guilty feeling made her stomach queasy; what if Draco's mother blamed her for him going to Azkaban? Hermione didn't know if she'd be able to handle that; she already felt bad enough without anyone else's blame on her.

"It'll be okay, Hermione," her father said with a comforting smile.

Moments later Narcissa Malfoy walked into the room, and Hermione could tell how much she'd been affected by her son going to prison. She looked very different than she had on the platform. She looked tired and worn, while before she'd looked very well put together yet slightly worried. "Miss Granger," she said, nodding slightly as Hermione struggled to sit up a little taller. When pain flared at the motion she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, collecting herself. She was starting to think she wouldn't complain if the potion came a little early. "I wanted to offer my thanks for what you've done for my son,"

"It was my pleasure," Hermione said, nodding slightly. It really was; she hadn't done it for Draco's mother. The act had actually been rather selfish; she hadn't wanted Draco to go to prison because she hadn't wanted to be without him.

"I still appreciate it," the older woman said, shifting slightly in her stance. Hermione could tell that being in the room was making her uncomfortable, but she was pleased that Narcissa was making an effort. "Secondly, I wanted to inform you that I was able to get the ministry to reduce his sentence by a year. I thought you would want to know,"

"How did you manage that?" Hermione asked quickly, becoming excited by the news. Even if she hadn't done it herself she was still thrilled that she would get to see Draco sooner.

"It's hard to say no to a mother," she said quietly, her eyes flickering to Mrs. Weasley. "I simply-"

Hermione was surprised by the door opening again, and the room fell to silence. Narcissa Malfoy's eyes went wide with disbelief as Andromeda Tonks walked into the room, being led by Teddy who was struggling to get his grandmother to release his hand. "Ne!" Teddy said excitedly, finally getting his hand free and running to her bed. "Ne, you hurt?" he asked, concern filling his eyes faster than Hermione had ever seen before. "I make better," he smiled, climbing on to the bed and settling himself by her side. "Story," he said before he began babbling excitedly with a tale Hermione could barely follow.

Her eyes were stuck on Andromeda and Narcissa. The two sisters who, Hermione guessed, hadn't seen or spoken to each other in years were currently wide eyed. "Narcissa," Andromeda said, the first to recover. "What are you doing here?"

Narcissa blinked and struggled to recover from the shock of seeing her sister. "I came to see Miss Granger. I wanted to tell her about Draco,"

"I'm sorry about him," Andromeda said, managing a small smile that looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry about your daughter as well,"

Andromeda nodded, her eyes going misty for a moment before she smiled. "It's good to see you again," she said, watching Narcissa nod with hope clear on her face.

"It is. Miss Granger," Narcissa said, turning to look at her once more, "I expect I will have more to say to you later. The ministry says I will be allowed to visit Draco at Christmas. I will contact you then," With another nod the woman left the room and Hermione focused her attention on Teddy, who was still talking despite the tension that was beginning to evaporate.

After getting another potion, Hermione fell asleep to the sound of Teddy's small voice. She didn't know how long this recovery would take but she could only hope it wouldn't be too long. She'd made a promise to Draco that she wouldn't just sit around waiting for him, and she intended to keep it. Which meant that once she was out of St. Mungo's, she would find a job and try to get her life on track until he was out of Azkaban. And even though it was four years away, Hermione knew that was the day she was looking forward to the most.


	56. Epilogue

**_Five Years Later_**

It had been the right choice, Draco knew. It was by no means the easy choice, no. The easy choice would have been to go running back to her the second he was released from Azkaban. He could have answered her first letter with a time and a place so they could meet. But instead he'd ignored everything she'd sent, much to his mother's dismay, and burnt the letters. He hadn't wanted to force Granger to deal with a broken man. She was better off without him, for the time being. But now, a year after his release, he missed Granger more than ever. He missed her smile, and her laugh, and the way he could so easily lose her to a book when they were in the common room. He missed her, but he knew that he couldn't go near her. Draco had heard the rumors; he knew that Granger was back with Weasley, and going near her would only hurt. At least he knew Granger was happy. That was the only thing that mattered; that Granger was happy.

It had been six months since he'd bought a flat in a wizarding district of London. He would have been fine with living at home for a while longer but one day, about three months after being released, he'd discovered Granger and an aunt he'd never met having tea in the sitting room. Luckily they hadn't seen him, but he'd freaked out and started looking for his own place to live. It had hurt his mother deeply, he knew, but it had actually helped him quite a bit.

Today, exactly one year after being released, was the first time he'd decided to venture into Diagon Alley. He was looking for a job, maybe at Gringotts, because while he could live off his family's money he didn't want to and he was bored with his day to day activities. That was the main reason, though he also wanted to start his own small library at his flat, so he needed to go to Flourish and Blotts. It would be a short trip because he didn't want to risk seeing anyone he might know. Draco had no interest in any polite, strained conversation that could happen.

Running a nervous hand through his already disheveled hair, Draco stepped into his fireplace and calmly stated, "Diagon Alley,". The hair was part of an attempt to hide from those he might know. Everyone expected a well put together man, and he was sure looking normal would help him hide. Draco was nervous enough just to go to Diagon Alley; he didn't need his past to be brought back up.

He stepped out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron and quickly exited into Diagon Alley. The excursion, he thought, could only last an hour at most. Staying any longer would make him paranoid and nervous and then his day would be ruined. He'd had enough ruined days to last a lifetime and he couldn't handle any more. Nor could he handle a lot of things, but that was beside the point.

Draco went to Gringotts first and found that they were actually looking for workers, so there was a chance for him there. After collecting a few galleons from his vault and awkwardly thanking the goblin who'd helped him, he began his trip to Flourish and Blotts. It was an enjoyable walk, as no one spared him a glance, and he ended up near the store when a familiar face actually ran into him. "Oh, shit, sorry-Wait, _Malfoy_?"

He blinked and frowned as Terry Boot took a step backwards. "I didn't intend to run into you," Draco said.

"It was all me, you know," Boot said, shrugging. "Wow, Malfoy, what's it been-five years? It's great to see you again,"

Draco was surprised at the words, as Boot had never liked him very much so there was no real reason it would be good to see him. "Uh, right. You too, Boot,"

"So where are you headed? Is today packed full of errands for you? It is for me; my fiancée's having me fun around to get things for the wedding,"

"I'm just going to Flourish and Blotts; today's not busy at all," Draco muttered. After a slight hesitation he added, "Congratulations on getting married,"

"Thanks Malfoy. You know I just saw Hermione walking into Flourish and Blotts not too long ago. Are you two here together?"

"G-Granger?" Draco asked, startled. "No, we're not,"

"But you two were-Oh. Sorry about that,"

"It doesn't matter," Draco said, feeling shaky. Granger was here? Why did she have to choose today to come to Diagon Alley? He briefly considered leaving before he remembered that he really did need some books. "I'll see you later then," Draco said, walking off before Boot had the chance to reply.

Draco hurried into the apothecary after the interaction. He'd already decided to avoid the book store for at least twenty minutes in the hope that Granger would leave and he would be left alone for the rest of his day. He would do anything to avoid being seen by Granger, as she would most likely try to say something to him, and if he saw her Draco was sure he wouldn't react appropriately. He never would, especially not if that damn rumor was true like he expected it to be. Weasley had to have gotten over whatever he'd been going through since the battle; it had been five years. And Weasley was probably better for her anyway. Draco had never even said her name; Weasley said it all the time. Then again, saying her name felt odd. She'd always just been Granger to him and thinking of her as anything else would freak him out.

His twenty minute stay in the apothecary was incredibly boring, as he just browsed shelves of unpleasant potion ingredients that he didn't need. The entire time the worker was staring at him as if he was going to start stealing things. He didn't plan on doing that; he would never chance going back to Azkaban. That place was just like hell and he didn't need a second trip. Draco ended up buying a small amount of beetle eyes on his way out just so the girl behind the counter would stop looking at him suspiciously.

By the time he walked into Flourish and Blotts he could tell that the small store was nearly empty. Draco could hear chatter near the back of the store so he stayed near the front and carefully studied the store's selection on Charms books. It was still his favorite subject and he was more than willing to learn more about it. Which, Draco realized, had to be a trait he'd picked up from Granger, but it was a decent trait to have. Draco selected two books before moving on to a different section and trying to pick out a decent book from there as well.

He'd selected two more before all of the books were pushed out of his arms and his body was crushed in a hug. He actually jumped before the person clinging to him began to laugh. "It's you!" a girl said happily. "It's actually you-I can't believe you're here!"

Though it sounded much older than the last time he'd heard it, Draco knew he would recognize that voice anywhere. "Elizabeth?" he asked, his eyes widening.

She stepped away and smacked his arm. "Of course you idiot. Why didn't you ever reply to my letters?"

"I-"

"You know what, never mind; I don't care. I'm just happy to see you're still alive and not dead like I've been fearing for the past year,"

Draco nodded slightly and continued to stare at Elizabeth. She'd grown a lot in the five years he hadn't seen her, and it was hard to adjust to. She had to be going into her seventh year, which made Draco feel older than he actually was, and he hoped that her past years had been good. "You're older," he stated stupidly.

"Obviously," she said, rolling her eyes. "Time didn't stop while you were away,"

"I realize that," he said, his eyes narrowing. She only laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling her to where he could hear a silly argument. "What are you-"

"I'm with Jacob. He's going to want to see you, though he'll probably be pissed because you didn't reply to _him_ either," she explained. "I left him with Hermione; she's helping me pick out advanced Transfiguration books because my professor said I have pure talent in that area,"

Draco immediately stopped moving and Elizabeth stumbled. "I have to go,"

"But-"

"Elizabeth, I really do have to leave. It's-"

"Elizabeth?" a deep voice called. Draco had trouble believing that was Jacob, the small, frightened Ravenclaw he'd met, but he didn't know what other man would be calling for the girl next to him. "Honestly, Elizabeth, you've got to quit running off all the time; you're going to give me a-" he stopped as he walked to where they standing and Draco held back a sigh.

"So I found something," Elizabeth said casually. "Someone, actually, that I know you miss, so if you could stop correcting me on my behavior that would be great,"

"You can't be serious," Jacob said, his eyes narrowing slightly. "After _five years_ you just show up here? And what, expect us to forgive you? I get you didn't have a choice for the first four, but you bloody well had a choice for the last one and you just _abandoned_ us,"

"Jacob I-" Draco tried, but he didn't get very far as the look on Jacob's face made him stop.

"And you put Hermione through _hell_, don't you realize? She was so damn excited when you were getting out and she wrote you a letter asking to meet and you never responded. And then when we tried you cut us out too!"

"Look, I was just doing what I thought was-"

"Best?" Jacob asked coldly. "You're not an idiot, I know you're not, so how could that possibly be _best_?"

"Jacob, dear, please calm down," Elizabeth said, walking over and grabbing his hand. Draco stared at them with a raised eyebrow as Elizabeth kissed Jacob's cheek. Elizabeth glanced at him again and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you missed that," she muttered.

"So you two are, what, dating now?" Draco asked.

"Well we did spend a lot of time together once we started that group. And really it's thanks to you; if you hadn't brought him to us back in first year-"

"I don't really need the details," Draco muttered. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry that I didn't respond and I'll write to you soon, okay? But I have to leave,"

"Why?" Jacob asked, slightly put out by his words.

"I just-I really can't see-"

He was interrupted by a cold voice that Draco absolutely dreaded hearing. "Me," Granger said angrily. "He wants to avoid seeing me. If you really want to leave that badly, _Malfoy_, then go right ahead. We won't stop you,"

"Hermione what are you doing? It's been a year and you're just-" Elizabeth asked, her voice beginning to sound a bit panicked.

"That's the point. It's been a year and he still doesn't want to see any of us. It was by chance, wasn't it Malfoy?" The sound of his surname coming from her lips made him flinch horribly, and he knew he couldn't play it off as something else. There was a heavy silence in which Draco strongly considered turning around and running, but then he'd have to look at Granger and he wasn't sure he could handle that. "Are you even going to look at me?" she asked in a quiet voice that sounded incredibly different from the one she'd just used.

Draco stood still for another second before he slowly turned around to face her. She looked just like the Granger he remembered, though more rested. Her eyes seemed sad though, and her lips were pressed into a thin line as she frowned at him. "I'm looking at you," he said quietly, his eyes dropping from her face to her hands. Her arms were folded across her chest so he could only see the one, but a faint memory of holding it made him wince. He missed those days, when he could just grab her hand. But he couldn't do that now, not after everything that had happened.

"Jacob, Elizabeth, could we have a minute?" Granger asked, looking at them over his shoulder. There was a quiet sound of assessment before Draco heard their footsteps. "Why?"

"Why what?"

She rolled her eyes and there was a small tug at the corner of her lips that made Draco positive that she'd almost smiled. "Why on earth did you refuse to see me?" He was silent for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say to her. The smart thing was to go along like he wanted nothing to do for her. She would be angry but it would be easier for him to walk away. If he acted as he truly wanted and tried to beg for her forgiveness then it would simply embarrass him and Granger would probably laugh in his face. "I think I deserve a reason. In your trial I-It was in the Daily Prophet, what you shouted. _I think I love her_. What happened to that?"

"Will you promise not to be mad?"

"Of course not,"

Draco sighed and nodded; he knew he couldn't ask anything of her. "In the beginning, when I got out, I wasn't quite right. I wasn't myself,"

"I didn't expect you to be yourself. I wanted to help,"

"I didn't want to make you deal with that," he said, his voice hardening slightly. She had to listen and understand what he was trying to say or they wouldn't be able to move. "Granger, I-"

"It's been six years and you still can't say my name?"

"Granger-"

"Malfoy," she said mockingly.

"_Granger_-"

"_Malfoy_," she repeated, raising an eyebrow. "I don't see the big deal. You could kiss me but you can't do something as simple as saying my name?"

"You've always been Granger to me, it's weird to think of you as anything else. But fine-_Hermione_," he said, noticing that he quite enjoyed saying her name as well. Granger blinked, as if she hadn't actually expected him to say it and she'd just wanted to pick a fight. "Either way, I'd heard the rumors and I knew that going near you was a bad idea. It's not that I didn't want to, Granger, I just... I couldn't, because I refuse to interfere with your life,"

She was silent for a moment, before realization dawned in her eyes. "What rumor?" she asked, her voice sounding oddly serious after the slightly playful tone she'd taken on while trying to get him to say her name.

"The one about you and Weasley. I know it's true, I know you're back together. I'm... happy for you, Granger, really. If you're happy then I'm happy too,"

Granger stared at him before beginning to laugh. "You're an idiot," she stated. "You're a bloody idiot, Draco Malfoy,"

"No I'm-"

"Ron and I are _friends_," she said. "Nothing more, nothing less. I told you it would happen again someday. Tell me, Draco, where did you hear this rumor?"

"It was in the Daily Prophet a while ago; there were pictures of you two together and-"

"_Honestly_, they're just rumors. Ron set them straight a while ago; why do you think there haven't been any lately? He had to make them go away, his actual _girlfriend_ was furious when she saw them,"

"Weasley has a-"

"A girlfriend, yes,"

"Who's-"

"Who's not me,"

"So I-"

"You've been an idiot. We've established that. Did you really believe that you were doing the right thing? That this was making me happy? I've been switching between anger and hurt as prominent emotions for the past year because I didn't understand. And you know how much I hate not understanding things,"

He just stared at her with wide eyes. He couldn't understand why he'd believed a stupid rumor and stayed away from her for so long. He didn't understand why he hadn't listened to his mother when she'd tried to tell him the same thing, but hearing it from Granger herself made it completely true. "I-"

"Did you mean it?" she interrupted quietly. "What you said at your trial; did you mean it?"

He hesitated slightly before nodding. "I hadn't really thought about it much before then," he admitted quietly. "But when I knew that you were hurt and I wasn't going to get to see you it came out and I... I knew it was true, Granger,"

"And now?"

"And now what?"

"How do you feel now?"

"I don't-" he started, watching Granger's face fall immediately. "I don't just think anymore," he finished quietly.

There was a tense moment where Draco was sure Granger was just going to laugh at him. But then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, and Draco knew that he was wrong. It took a second before he realized that he should actually kiss him back, which made Granger smile. "I've missed you. So much, Draco, I've missed you so much,"

"I thought I told you not to-"

"Believe me I did not just sit around and wait for you," she said, rolling her eyes and taking a step away from him. "I tried dating-which was awful, no one could keep up with me-and I got I job. I've worked hard; I haven't just waited for you to come back,"

"Good," he said, fighting back a smile of his own. "Could you-Could you tell me everything that's happened these past few years? My mother tried but I was never one for listening. I think I'll find you much more interesting,"

Granger smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him out of Flourish and Blotts without the books they'd each intended on buying. Jacob and Elizabeth had waved at them on their way out, but Draco barely got the chance to wave back before Granger gave him a little push towards the Leaky Cauldron.

They sat at a table that Draco was almost positive was the same table they'd sat at when they'd met at Christmas in their last year at Hogwarts. Granger ordered them both a glass of firewhiskey, something that surprised Draco, before she got right down to telling the story of the past five years.

She explained how his mother and his aunt had finally gotten back into contact. She'd explained that it was rough at first for them both, but now they spent a lot of time together and they tended to have tea and invite Granger at least once a month. Granger even threw in the fact that Teddy Lupin adored his great aunt and constantly talked about how he wanted to meet Draco because, as Granger put it, _he had to be just as good as Aunt Narcissa_.

Granger had then moved on to her own father, explaining that he was very irritated with Draco but would still like to meet him. She told him about how her father had finally gotten back to normal after everything that had happened and that he'd grown quite close with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Who were, she explained, thrilled about the birth of their first grandchild Victoire.

Potter was the next on her list of stories. She explained how he'd married Ginny Weasley and they'd both convinced Granger to be a bridesmaid, which she hadn't been thrilled about. But she'd still enjoyed the wedding. She even mentioned that she suspected Ginny Weasley was pregnant, but no announcement had been made. Next she went on to talk about Weasley and how they'd made up when she'd woken up in St. Mungo's after the attack on Diagon Alley. Apparently he had a very serious girlfriend named Jane who Granger was very fond of and she was convinced that Weasley would be proposing soon.

She went on to talk about the younger students he'd grown close to and how some, like Jacob, had left Hogwarts the previous year and how the rest were entering their final year in September. She explained that from the letters she'd received from them all and Professor McGonagall, the program they'd proposed had worked amazingly well. Jacob had been made a delegate in his final year, which had surprised no one, and he'd even gotten the courage to ask out Elizabeth. Apparently he'd kept up the most contact with her and half of his letters, once he hit his fifth year, were about Elizabeth and how much he was starting to like her. It had been nearly a year now and they were still happy together.

Her finally story was of herself, and what she'd been up to in the past five years. She had a job in the ministry and was quite proud of herself, which made Draco proud as well. She told him that the nightmares she'd experienced had slowly gone away and she was pretty much back to normal. Granger explained how poorly the few dates she'd tried to take had gone, which made Draco excited as well. He knew he shouldn't have been excited about how badly those dates had gone, but he was pleased that he was able to have another chance with her. Which, from the sound of it, was something that Granger wanted as well.

At the end of her story, Granger offered him a small smile before she sighed slightly. "I should go," she said quietly. "I promised my father I'd come by for dinner tonight and he's been touchy about me getting there on time after what happened in Diagon Alley the day of your trial," she explained.

"I hope you enjoy your dinner Granger," he said, forgetting himself for a moment and offering her a small, genuine smile.

She stared at him in surprise before quickly kissing him again. "You know that's the first time you've smiled at me,"

"Is it?"

"Yes," she said, rolling her eyes. "And I'd rather not... I don't really feel like separating for you right now, so why don't you just come along?"

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am," she said. "I'd like to give us a shot, Draco. Well, another one I guess. So what do you say? Do you think we can manage that?"

"It's been five years, Granger, how can you be sure you still want this with me?"

"Because it's been five years, Draco," she answered easily. "I've had five years to think about you and what I feel about you, and I feel just as strongly as I did before you were sent to Azkaban. If it's okay with you, I'd like to give this a real shot. We don't have anything to worry about now,"

"If that's what you want," he nodded.

"You don't have to sound so excited, you know. Tone it down a bit," she joked, smiling at him again.

"That would make me happier than you can understand, Granger," he said softly.

The simple words made her kiss him again. They were also how he found himself standing at the front door of her childhood home, wondering how he'd gotten there from when he was a young boy raised to hate people like her. But Draco was happy that his opinions had changed. Because as that door opened and Granger's father reached for his hand, Draco felt happier than he ever had before. This was where he wanted to be; this was where he needed to be. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

_**The End**_


End file.
